Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2016





Jerks of the Week: May 30, 2016


JERK OF THE WEEK: Water Aerobics

When I started Jerks of the Week back in May 2009, I never once thought I'd ever be writing about water aerobics. I created Jerks of the Week to vent about my wedding date ditching me for a barbeque at her work, and understandably so because she was starting a new job and needed to establish some strong connections. At least that's what I told myself when I would crawl into bed and cry myself to sleep for a couple of months.

But here we are, in the eighth year of Jerks of the Week, and this section has devolved into rants about stupid things like water aerobics. I guess it was bound to happen. Yeah, it's not so bad, right? I'm now discussing mature things like water aerobics, so it's definitely a sign that I've grown over the years. If only I could go back in time and tell my 26-year-old self that everything will be OK.

So, before I delve into the super-mature subject of water aerobics, let's discuss another adult topic, which is horrible government spending. I take County Line Road straight from my house to my new gym, LA Fitness. It's a pleasant drive, as there is hardly any traffic. The street is two lanes both ways, save for this tiny stretch, so my commute has never been an issue.

Well, that's not the case anymore. Whoever is in charge of maintaining roadways thought it would be a brilliant idea to transform County Line into a one-lane road. So, they blanked out the current lines and painted yellow boxes in the middle of the road - you know, the ones where you drive into when you're about to make a left? The problem is that there aren't that many tiny streets to turn into off County Line, so these yellow boxes are f***ing useless. Those who have been turning left - using the left lane, obviously - have been doing so for years. No one has ever had an issue with this, and I've never seen a single accident on County Line. Not one. Despite this, some government a**hole thought it would be a good idea to f*** everything up.

I think this might be the worst way any government has spent money in the history of mankind. Seriously. I know that the fed spent like $500,000 on a hammer one time - i.e. one of the many reasons why it's futile to ever raise taxes in America - but that hammer didn't piss people off like this did. Or, at least I assume so. I guess you never know, the hammer could've been a jackass.

But to summarize, some moron in the government spent money to make it difficult for people to travel on a road that never had any problems. Good job, idiot. Way to waste money on something completely unnecessary and anger everyone at the same time. I'd rather our local government spend money on a jackass hammer of its own.




OK, I had to step away from my laptop for 10 minutes to calm down. Thirty cheeseballs later, and I'm fine now. Breathe, Walt, breathe. Lick cheeseball dust off your fingers, Walt, lick cheeseball dust off your fingers.

Anyway, I arrived at LA Fitness a bit later than I originally planned because of the new traffic "pattern," which was actually a blessing in disguise. I'll get to why that was in a bit, but I have to mention that some people are self-entitled a**holes. When I grabbed the door, I noticed that there were four people behind me. Naturally, I held open the door for these individuals.

Not one said "thank you." Not one. I didn't even get a nod my way. All four of these douches just walked in without even acknowledging me. Like I was some kind of peon doorman getting paid $8 an hour so that these aristocrat gym users wouldn't have to dirty their hands by touching the door handle.

Now, let's be fair here. I haven't mentioned yet that two of the four people I held the door for were Asian. If you took an Asian Studies course in college, you're quite aware that there is no translation for "thank you" in the Asian language. Granted, these people are now in America, so they should be expected to conform to our culture, but perhaps they were fresh off the boat, having migrated from the Asian country only weeks ago. I don't know how they managed to procure an LA Fitness membership so quickly, but perhaps their travel agent was cunning enough to include one amid the rest of their travel documents.

OK, so I'll forgive the Asian folk for saying "thank you." I wouldn't expect an Eskimo to know the word for "lava," and I can hardly imagine that one of these progressive, micro-aggression p***ies who would like for me to get paid $15 per hour to just hold a door knows how to say "hard work." Different cultures have their things, and given that I am such a worldly man, I fully understand their plights.

The other two people, however, I can't excuse. Well, you know what? I actually take that back. The third individual was a goofy-looking teenage doofus holding a basketball. He might have been distracted because he was walking behind this hot brunette chick wearing a baseball cap and tight black pants that did a great job of showing off her a**. This teenage dude must have been splooging in his underpants as he was walking through the doorway, so I can understand why he was distracted. We've all been there. I was once a teenage doofus myself, and I can't even count how many times I accidentally splooged in my pants because I was walking behind an amazing-looking woman. If I had a nickel for every pair of underpants I soiled as a result, I'd have a s*** ton of nickels.

I can't excuse the hot chick for not saying "thank you," however. Just because she looks great doesn't mean she can refrain from thanking someone for holding a door for her. Her looks don't make her better than everyone. OK, maybe they do, but proper courtesy would be appreciated.

Thankfully, I'm a man of solutions, and I'd like to propose something for all of us men who have held doors and not been acknowledged appropriately: If you hold a door for someone, and they don't thank you, slap them in the a**. Seriously. Just do it. It'll teach them a lesson they'll never forget, and they'll stop being douche bags and thank door-holders like you and me as a consequence.

Now, you might be thinking: Walt, what if I do that to someone and they sue me for sexual harassment? Luckily for you, I am a man of solutions, so I've already run through each scenario:

*** Holds door for Asian; they naturally don't say "thank you," so their a** is slapped ***

Asian: Why you do this?

Me: Because you didn't say "thank you."

Asian: "Tank you?" What this word mean? We don't have word rike this in Asian ranguage!

Me: You say it when someone does something nice for you.

Asian: Ah, now I understand. Thank you, Warter-san.

*** Holds door for teenager; he is too preoccupied to say "thank you," so his a** is slapped ***

Teenager: Hey, why did you do that?

Me: Because you didn't say "thank you."

Teenager: Sorry. I was too focused on that hot girl. I almost splooged my pants, but that slap stopped me. Thank you, mister!

Me: I understand. I've been there. I'm glad I could help.

*** Holds door for hot chick; she naturally doesn't say "thank you" because she thinks she's better than you, so her a** is slapped ***

Hot Chick: What the hell!? How dare you touch someone much better than yourself!?

Me: Because you didn't say "thank you."

Hot Chick: "Thank you?" Ha! As if I'd ever say that. That's it, I'm suing you for sexual harassment!

Me: Well, I'm suing you for being a f***ing b***h, so we'll see who wins in court, skank!

My guess is that she'd get half of my stuff and I'd get half of hers, so it would be a total wash - except I'd be stuck with five years' worth of makeup. Oh well. It would be worth it.






Remember how I said that arriving late was a blessing in disguise? Well, that was the case because a water aerobics class was taking up the entire pool. I had no idea one was scheduled, but now I know that they have them Tuesdays and Wednesdays from 6-7. Because I got to the gym at 6:45 instead of 6:35, I only had to wait 15 minutes for everyone to clear out before I could swim my mile.

I opted to wait in the hot tub, which gave me a clear view of exactly what was going on. It was perhaps the saddest display of exercise I had ever seen. I can sum it up in six words: old ladies decaying in a pool.

Want me to describe it in more detail? Fine, fine. There were about 20 people in the pool. Most of them were old women who were 65 or older. While the workout instructor, a woman in her 50s, was pumping her fists up and down to simulate a workout, most of these old ladies were barely doing anything. I wasn't exaggerating when I said that they were decaying in the pool. They literally weren't doing anything but decaying.

Not all of the workout warriors were old 65-plus ladies. There was one woman who was pretty far away from me, but she looked like she could've been 40, and a pretty hot 40, though it was kind of difficult to tell. She and another woman next to her looked like the only ones truly getting anything out of this class. They were doing stuff pretty briskly, matching their arm and leg movements to the upbeat music playing on the stereo. It then occurred to me that the older ladies were standing still because they couldn't hear the music.

There was also one guy in the pool. He wasn't getting a great workout from what I could tell, but he at least wasn't standing still. I wondered why this guy was even in this class, but then it struck me - this man was a genius. And you could be on his level as well. If you're looking to bang chicks who are about to die (or already might be dead) like this guy, then water aerobics is definitely for you!

A couple of the old ladies got out of the pool before the workout was complete and joined me in the hot tub. One woman, who looked about 70, started talking to me about how she also belongs to AFC Fitness - the gym I used to write about - and that she can join any gym she pleases because of some silver sneakers program. I told her that I used to belong there, but I stopped going because I didn't like the new people they hired. She gave me a dirty look, turned around and exited the hot tub. Meanwhile, an even older lady was giving me googly eyes. It's a good thing the guy taking the water aerobics class didn't see this, because he'd be super jealous.

Once the class was over, I got a better look at the two "younger" women taking the class. The one I thought might be hot definitely wasn't; she was about 15 years older than I thought, but she wasn't an abomination like the other workout warriors. Actually, the woman she was with seemed like she might have been hot 20 years ago. I imagine she didn't say "thank you" to guys holding the door for her either.

I don't know how it happened, but I got to talking to these ladies, as well as the water aerobics instructor. The three of them tried to convince me to join them for one of the classes. I told them that I like to come in and swim a mile, and the one woman I thought was much younger shook her head.

"I swim a mile every day, too, and believe me, water aerobics is a much better workout," she said.

The instructor naturally agreed.

"I worked some football players out recently, and they couldn't even finish!" she exclaimed. "They were gasping for air! Trust me, if you take one of my classes, you'll have the workout of a lifetime!"

A workout of a lifetime? There were old women who were literally rotting in the pool! If they could make it through an hour, I think I could as well.

I dismissed the possibility of doing water aerobics at first, but I thought about it, and I may just do it. At the very least, I'll have some writing material. And you never know, I may make some friends in the class. Sure, they won't be alive for much longer, but they'll be friends nonetheless.

LOADING COMMENTS...



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Jerks of the Week - May 20, 2013: Internet Idiots II
Jerks of the Week - May 13, 2013: Sunday Shopping
Jerks of the Week - May 6, 2013: Jerks of the Housewarming Party
Jerks of the Week - April 29, 2013: Hot Tub Adventures
Jerks of the Week - April 22, 2013: Jerks of Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - April 15, 2013: Jerks of New Computer Day
Jerks of the Week - April 8, 2013: Jerks of Walnut Grove
Jerks of the Week - April 1, 2013: April Fools and April Truths
Jerks of the Week - March 25, 2013: It's Not Complicated AT&T Commercials
Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2013: My Second Stalker, Jerks of the Old Gym Pool & Locker Room
Jerks of the Week - March 11, 2013: Blizzard of 2013
Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2013: Jerks of Tulane
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2013: Jerks of New Orleans
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2013: Jerks of Philadelphia International Airport
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2013: Jerks of Bowling Night
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2013: Jerks of Tango: Where They'll Be in 2020
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2013: One Final Night at Tango
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




NFL Picks - Nov. 22


2018 NFL Mock Draft - Nov. 16


2019 NFL Mock Draft - Oct. 20


Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 6


2018 NBA Mock Draft - Aug. 23


NFL Power Rankings - May 5









 





 

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