Jerks of the Week - Dec. 29, 2014





Jerks of the Week: Dec. 29, 2014


JERK OF THE WEEK: 2014, Year in Review

Back in 10th grade, I took a computer class in which they taught us how to use this new technology called a "word processor." It was pretty revolutionary stuff. You'd type things on a keyboard, and it would appear on the computer! No more entering commands to tell a turtle how to draw shapes like we had to in grade school...



...this was legit 21st-century technology we were working with! I'll never forget the valuable lessons I learned in that class. This includes the difference between cut and copy; how to change your font; and even how to configure page layouts! I've also remembered something my teacher, a depressed, mustachioed man in his 60s, once told us:

"The older you get, the quicker time flies by."

I scoffed at this. Every day in 10th grade seemed like an eternity. It began with a Calc II class, where I just sat in the back next to Ron Harper's nephew and was confused the whole time, and didn't bother asking questions because my teacher hated my guts. I then went to English, a.k.a. nap time. French came after that, where all I did was hit on this cute Vietnamese girl, who rejected me about a dozen times. Chemistry was next, and all I did there was hit on this cute blonde girl, who rejected me about two dozen times. After that, I had lunch, then computer class, and then computer programming class, which was an elective. My teacher there was the same guy I had for Calc II. He would shake his head as I entered his class and chuckle, "How are those Calculus problems going, Walter? Will you ever get anything higher than a C in that class?"

Tenth grade was torture, but it also feels like it occurred just yesterday. Indeed, my suicidal computer teacher was right; the older you get, the faster time flies by. This past year was a blur. I remember ringing in the New Year like it was yesterday; I invited people over to my house, but excluding my girlfriend, no one really showed up and stuck around for a while. We even took a nap. That's how exciting we are.

Still though, it's crazy that this is my final Jerks entry of 2014. I'm sure 2015 will zoom by even quicker, so I wanted to do a recap of 2014. I initially planned to look at Wikipedia's 2014 page as well as the Jerks of the Week archives to do my 2014 "Year in Review," but all the former had were boring notes, like: "Feb. 10, 2014: Leona, the Princess of Gotland is born." WTF is Gotland? I'm pretty sure some a**hole vandalized the 2014 page and wrote about this made-up country, much like someone did when they made Dez Bryant the owner of the Philadelphia Eagles:



Luckily, Twitter did a "Year in Review" itself, so I'll compare their more-relevant timeline with Jerks of the Week to discuss all of the great and awful things that happened in 2014...


January:

Let's just skip January. It was a terrible month because I watched Just Wright, one of the worst movies ever made. I'm still having nightmares about a basketball player's career being in jeopardy because he wouldn't be able to make it back for the playoffs, only to have him make a miraculous recovery from a torn PCL in just a couple of months.

Everything else in January seems like a blur because of Just Wright. That's how terrible that film was. I sure as hell hope my suicidal computer teacher didn't watch that movie, or he would have hanged himself halfway through.


February:

A mixed month. You might be surprised to hear me say that, given the flooding of my basement and the Winter Olympics, but February brought us one marvelous thing:



Seeing Bob Costas get one of the worst cases of pink eye in the history of humanity brought an everlasting smile to my face. I was hoping Costas' eyes would explode so that we wouldn't have to hear him tell us how awful humanity is during his Sunday Night Football halftime speeches. Alas, he made a quick recovery.

Not enough was made of the Costas pink eye story. How did he contract such a bad case anyway? Here's my theory: Bob was taking a stroll one day when a shady guy grabbed him and dragged him into an alley. He demanded money from Costas, who proceeded to tell this thug why he shouldn't support the Washington Redskins. The thug became so outraged that he did something drastic. Sharing Matt Millen's affinity for inserting kielbasas into backsides, he whipped out his kielbasa and inserted it into Costas' eye.

That's what I hope happened. Costas has tortured us for years, so it's about time that he got a taste of his own medicine.





March:

Twitter reminded me that a bunch of a**holes took a picture of themselves in March:



I'm terrible with celebrities, so I only recognize three people in this picture. There's Kevin Spacey in the back middle; Brad Pitt is to Spacey's left; and Justin Bieber is to the right of some bearded guy.

I remember this picture trending on Twitter, and upon seeing it again, I recall how much it pissed me off. I find celebrities irrelevant, and I hate selfies. I dedicated a whole jerks entry to how it pisses me off. Anyone who takes selfies is a self-absorbed a**hole. Unless you're a hot chick showing off your body, no one gives a damn about your crappy pictures.


April:

I hung out with my friend Body Burner the day I made the How I Met Your Mother finale my Jerk of the Year. We had this conversation:

Body Burner: Your Jerk of the Year? It's only April.

Me: It was that bad.

Body Burner: So you don't think anything worse can happen over the next eight months?

Me: Nope. Nothing. I don't care if there's another 9-11 attack; nothing is worse than the finale of that show.

Lo and behold, I was right. Noting else came close to being as bad as the How I Met Your Mother finale. It might even be Jerk of the Decade.


May:

I didn't write about anything remarkable in Jerks of the Week during the month of May. Nothing really happened on Twitter, save for this:



I have no idea what Cannes is, but a hot chick getting a picture taken of her is always noteworthy. At least she's not taking a picture of herself; otherwise, she'd have to be half-naked for it to not be completely stupid.


June:

There was a "major" event for a boring spot that took place this month, which had everyone pretending that they liked watching it because they didn't want to be left off the bandwagon. But writing about soccer is almost as bad as watching it, so let's move on to something else before I fall asleep.

June was a noteworthy month for two reasons. First, I lost my driver's license and had to go to the DMV, where I witnessed government ineptitude at its finest. I shudder to think what would happen if the government ran businesses - even something like McDonald's. If you went into a government-run McDonald's, you'd have to wait two hours to hear your number called, and you'd get a double cheeseburger instead of the Chicken McNuggets you ordered. You could file an appeal, but your order would take weeks to correct.

Second, at long last, the Girl Meets World premiere occurred, and I cried because it was so terrible. I've watched every single episode ever since; not that I like to torture myself, but I'm holding out hope that it'll improve. It has gotten a little bit better, especially when they've brought back old characters, including Harley Keiner, who in a touching moment, apologized to Cory for bullying him and calling him Johnny Baboon throughout high school. Of course, it's easy to become remorseful when you go from looking this cool...



...To looking this old:



The problem with the show, however, continues to be the main character, Riley Matthews. She's just so damn annoying. The girl playing her is a terrible actress, and her character is just too cheery and hopeful. It's sickening. My girlfriend agrees. "She needs her soul to be crushed," she said. I told her she was right on the money. I think Riley's best friend and the guy she likes need to hook up in one episode - there's definitely some major chemistry between them, so it would work - and that would hopefully transform Riley into an actual human being. Unfortunately, Girl Meets World is on the Disney Channel, so that'll never happen. Ugh, why couldn't these idiots put this show on ABC Family?


July:

My girlfriend and I vacationed in Tampa, so as far as I know, nothing happened in the real world.


August:

My birthday, the Mike Brown shooting, the Ice Bucket Challenge, Robin Williams' death, and the finale of True Blood, all in one month. What a busy August!

I'm 32 now, so I'm not a fan of my birthdays anymore. True Blood sucked at the end. I never did the Ice Bucket Challenge because no one challenged me to do it (screw all of you). Robin Williams will be missed, but he killed himself, so f*** him for being selfish. I wanted Mrs. Doubtfire II, damn it.

As for Mike Brown, I never really cared about that story, which is why I never wrote about it. I didn't understand the outcry about it; in fact, I thought the overreaction to it was more significant. Only a handful of people know what occurred in the confrontation with the police officer, so the outcry in which people pretended that they knew what transpired was absolutely ridiculous and reeked of either racism or idiotic white guilt.

Here's what we do know: Mike Brown was a criminal. Cameras caught him stealing cigars and assaulting a store clerk in the process. He may have tried to kill the cop, or he may have just been a victim. No one really knows. But I think building a memorial a known criminal who may have assaulted a police officer is a joke. Maybe I'll go steal some candy bars from Wawa and punch one of the workers on the way out so people can construct a statue of me as well.







September:

OH NO EBOLA IS GOING TO KILL US OMG OMG OMG WHAT DO WE DOO AHHHHHHHH!!!

So much for that.


October:

Mario Lopez, also known as A.C. Slater from Saved by the Bell, starred in an infomercial where he basically came out of the closet (not that there's anything wrong with that). This blew my mind, and it did the same for my friend/former neighbor/fantasy league member Drew, who texted me the day I posted that entry:

"Isn't it bad enough you take every f***ing player I try to pick up? Or bad enough the Birds lost yesterday? But now thanks to you I believe Mario Lopez is gay! My world has been shattered as I too watched Saved by the Bell."

Mario Lopez is a monster for tricking us all. A gay monster. A gay monster who likes kielbasas in the buttocks. However, I do have good news: With my girlfriend's help, I bought enough stickers to claim a free lasagna pan!


November:

It takes a lot to make a stew. A pinch of salt and laughter too. A scoop of kids to add the spice. A dash of love to make it nice, and you've got too many Cooks. Too many Cooks. Too many Cooks. Too many Cooks. Too many Cooks. Too many Cooks. Too many Cooks. Too many Cooks. Too many Cooks. Too many Cooks. Too many Cooks. Too many Cooks. Too many Cooks. Too many Cooks. Too many Cooks. Too many Cooks. Too many Cooks. Too many Cooks. Too many Cooks. Too many Cooks. Too many Cooks. Too many Cooks.

Oh, and let's not forget about the Ferguson riots. Watching idiots run around like savages, burning buildings and stealing from people who had nothing to do with the Mike Brown decision, was highly amusing. If these rioters had any intelligence, they would have raided the police station. They could've had some people burn buildings down, drawing the cops out of the station. The remaining rioters could've then stormed the station - they would've outnumbered the police by a wide margin - stole all of the guns out of the weapons lockers and then picked off the cops in the streets.

Instead, what did they do? Burn down churches and Mom & Pop shops! Steal flat-screen TVs! Light cars on fire! Good job, morons, way to destroy your own town and get caught on camera in the process.


December:

Kim Jong-un hired a bunch of 13-year-old pimply faced teens to threaten Sony, prompting the company to cancel the Interview. America responded by shutting down North Korea's Internet. Kim Jong-un? More like Kim Jong-lulz.

Cops killed more criminals, leading to more unfounded outrage on Twitter and smelly hipsters flooding the streets in protest. The ugly Eric Garner video leaked as well. That one was actually bad, though Garner shouldn't have sold untaxed cigarettes, and he shouldn't have resisted arrest. The police went too far on that one - of course, the media conveniently ignored the fact that the cop who ordered the choke hold was black - but it just goes to show that if you steal from Uncle Sam, he will f*** you up the a**hole (or choke the s*** out of you). If you're an aspiring criminal, take note of this. Whatever you do, don't steal from the government. You can rob stores, kill non-cops and eat children, but if you take from the government, they will come after you.

Other criminals killed cops, to the delight of race-baiter/troll Al Sharpton, who would be in prison for tax evasion if he were white. This prompted tweets like...



So... if the killer wasn't black, he would be deserving of your kudos, then? A white cop-killer doesn't get your kudos? Sounds like you are racist, miss! I'll also assume that if someone breaks into your house and tries to rape you, you won't dial 911 because you hate cops, right?

Some moron with the handle @thunderclap posted this:

While #NYPDLivesMatter, lets not forgot that they forced Eric Garner to say 'I can't breathe before he died. As sad as it was, its karma

Karma? What's so karmic about it? If the two cops who were killed were the ones who shot Mike Brown/Antonio Martin, the burglar, or choked Eric Garner, sure, it would have been karmic. If all police officers in the entire world operated in a hive mind like the Borg, it would have been karmic. But these two officers had nothing to do with those deaths. There's nothing karmic about them dying. Karma might even be the last word in the English language any intelligent person would use to describe this!

Argh, I can't take it anymore. This level of stupidity just pisses me off, and it's why I've avoided writing about all of these scandals until now. But I'm sure people will do other stupid things in 2015. Time will fly by, and before I know it, I'll be here to complain about all of it at the end of next year.

LOADING COMMENTS...



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Jerks of the Week - June 23, 2014: Therapy Pool Abominations
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Jerks of the Week - May 26, 2014: Night of the Six Stink Eyes
Jerks of the Week - May 19, 2014: Internet Idiots III
Jerks of the Week - May 12, 2014: Hate Mail, Part 2
Jerks of the Week - May 5, 2014: Hate Mail, Part 1
Jerks of the Week - April 28, 2014: People Plotting My Death
Jerks of the Week - April 21, 2014: How I Met My Cell Phone
Jerks of the Week - April 14, 2014: Bad Omens Monday
Jerks of the Week - April 7, 2014: Clothes Shopping
Jerk of the Year - April 1, 2014: How I Met Your Mother Finale
Jerks of the Week - March 31, 2014: April Fools and April Truths II
Jerks of the Week - March 24, 2014: Downtown Business Meeting
Jerks of the Week - March 17, 2014: Jerks of the Old Gym
Jerks of the Week - March 10, 2014: Winter Olympics
Jerks of the Week - March 3, 2014: Valentine's Day Commercials 2014
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 24, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 3: The Great Flood
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 17, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 2: Power Outage
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 10, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 1: Stomach Virus
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 3, 2014: Cooking with Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 27, 2014: Just Wright
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 20, 2014: People Who Steal From Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 13, 2014: Snowed In and Going Insane
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 6, 2014: Christmas Shopping 2013
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 30, 2013: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 23, 2013: Toyotathon Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 16, 2013: My Elliptical - Struggles of a Fat Man
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 9, 2013: Weird Food, Terrible Music and Rude Service
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 2, 2013: AT&T It's Not Complicated Commercials Part 2
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 25, 2013: Pizza Gluttony
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 18, 2013: The Seven Deadly Jerks at Bravo!
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 11, 2013: Redskins Team Name Controversy
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 4, 2013: Jerk-of-Treaters
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 28, 2013: WalterFootball and the Case of the Kidnapped Granddaughter
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 21, 2013: Jerks of the Mall: Hot Chicks vs. Ugly A**holes
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 14, 2013: Cereal Trilogy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 7, 2013: Urban Education: Getting Pregnant at 13
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 30, 2013: The Philadelphia Writers' Conference
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 23, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 3: Return of Soulless-Eye Lady
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 16, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 2: Confrontation Friday
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 9, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 1: Windows 8 and the Geek Squad
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 2, 2013: Jerks of the WalterFootball.com Forum Party
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 26, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 3: Lots of Hot Chicks
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 19, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 2: Eternal Life
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 12, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 1: The Drowning Fat Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 5, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 4 - The Strange Woman Who Wanted to Give Me Head
Jerks of the Week - July 29, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 3 - The Serial Killer and the Dance-Bang Girl
Jerks of the Week - July 22, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 2 - First Beach Day and Two Nights Out
Jerks of the Week - July 15, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 1 - Jerks at the Airport
Jerks of the Week - July 8, 2013: Master Zumba Invitation & Female Stalkers
Jerks of the Week - July 1, 2013: Jerks of Election Day - Damsel in Distress
Jerks of the Week - June 24, 2013: Attack of the White Trash Brigade
Jerks of the Week - June 17, 2013: Emmitt Smith Reviews Game of Thrones and Other Shows
Jerks of the Week - June 10, 2013: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - June 3, 2013: The People We Saw at Kenny's
Jerks of the Week - May 27, 2013: Jerks of the May 18 Wedding
Jerks of the Week - May 20, 2013: Internet Idiots II
Jerks of the Week - May 13, 2013: Sunday Shopping
Jerks of the Week - May 6, 2013: Jerks of the Housewarming Party
Jerks of the Week - April 29, 2013: Hot Tub Adventures
Jerks of the Week - April 22, 2013: Jerks of Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - April 15, 2013: Jerks of New Computer Day
Jerks of the Week - April 8, 2013: Jerks of Walnut Grove
Jerks of the Week - April 1, 2013: April Fools and April Truths
Jerks of the Week - March 25, 2013: It's Not Complicated AT&T Commercials
Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2013: My Second Stalker, Jerks of the Old Gym Pool & Locker Room
Jerks of the Week - March 11, 2013: Blizzard of 2013
Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2013: Jerks of Tulane
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2013: Jerks of New Orleans
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2013: Jerks of Philadelphia International Airport
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2013: Jerks of Bowling Night
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2013: Jerks of Tango: Where They'll Be in 2020
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2013: One Final Night at Tango
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




NFL Picks - Sept. 20


2018 NFL Mock Draft - Sept. 14


Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 6


2018 NBA Mock Draft - Aug. 23


2019 NFL Mock Draft - June 1


NFL Power Rankings - May 5









 





 

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