Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2016





Jerks of the Week: March 21, 2016


JERK OF THE WEEK: Random Pictures on My Phone

My girlfriend and I went out to celebrate her final day at a job she held for a long time, but didn't like very much. The restaurant we went to was none other than Nifty Fifty's, a 50s-style burgers-and-shakes joint 15 minutes away from my house. That may not sound fancy-shmancy like Chez Pierre or Macaroni's - I still can't believe they don't serve macaroni and cheese - but Nifty Fifty's happens to be my favorite restaurant ever.

I've written about Nifty Fifty's before. I order two cheeseburgers, large cheese fries and a black-cherry soda every time I go. I've seriously gotten the same thing each time ever since I was 10 years old. You may wonder why I don't try something else. To that, I say: Don't be an idiot. If you love something, why choose another option? It doesn't make any sense. I mean, it's possible to like something more, but A) nothing beats cheeseburgers and cheese fries, and B) if I'm disappointed, I will have wasted a rare trip to Nifty Fifty's. If I ate there every week, perhaps I'd try something new, but it's a biannual trip, so I wouldn't dare ruin my dinner. As a fat man, it would be completely sacrilegious.

After we ordered - my girlfriend asked if I'd eat some of her Bacon-Ranch fries, and as a fat man, I was more than happy to oblige - she asked me if she could see my phone so she could send a picture of our dog to her own phone. About a minute later, she threw my phone into my face and pointed to the screen once it landed on the table.

"Who's this!?" she asked, angrily, pointing to a picture of some girl's blue eyes. That's all the picture was; just a pair of blue eyes that clearly belonged to a female (or a dude wearing eyeliner - not that there's anything wrong with that).

I was befuddled. I clicked on the picture, and the date saved said "6/30/2012." I was even more puzzled, since I bought my phone in 2014, and my previous phone, a crappy old Juke, had a terrible camera and a small screen, so I seldom took or received any pictures. I had a couple of blurry photos from my old phone that didn't transfer, so it didn't come from there. Besides, why would I just have a picture of someone's eyes on my phone?

So, where did this picture come from, and why was it placed on my phone nearly two years before I purchased it? It's almost like the diabolical a**hole who created this phone cackled, "Tee-hee-hee, I'm going to plant pictures of girls' eyes on these phones so the women who see these pictures will break up with their boyfriends and divorce their husbands, and then they will be mine! All mine! Tee-hee-hee!"

My girlfriend didn't break up with me. She did, however, scan through all of the other pictures to make sure I didn't have any random photos of other girls' eyes. As it turns out, she didn't find anything conspicuous to further fuel her anger. Thus, the matter was dropped, and we ate our dinner happily. And yes, I finished both orders of fries.

There was a good thing to come out of this, however. While my girlfriend was flipping through everything, I realized that I have a ton of random pictures on my phone. Some I took randomly. Others, I snapped for Jerks of the Week purposes, but never used them. So, I figured, why not make a Jerks of the Week entry out of it? Doing so could be fun, and at the very least, I can finally delete all of the random crap I forgot I had on my phone.




I have a dozen pictures to show you, and here's the first one:



I'm eating, since that's all I usually do. If you notice, my dog Sherlock basically has his nose in my plate, begging for food. He always does this, despite the fact that I never give him any scraps from the table. Literally, never - as in, I haven't done that a single time. Yet, he still keeps begging. You'd think he'd learn by now.

Anyway, as you may have noticed, I'm eating some sort of sandwich, with a side of tomatoes and some sort of green vegetable. You might be surprised that I'm eating these sorts of bad foods, but I remember being taught in health class that balance is a key to any great diet. So, you can have great food like delicious sandwiches, cheeseburgers and cheese fries, but only if you complement them with bad food like tomatoes and green vegetables. As my health teacher once said, "You can't have Vitamin X, if you don't have Vitamin C because X comes after C."



Speaking of delicious food, my girlfriend and I discovered this awesome Mexican restaurant named La Hacienda. We eat there once every four weeks or so, meaning that I always have to eat some vegetables either before or after. Because X comes before C.

I bring this up because in this same shopping center, there are two stores named: Religious Store and Tanning.

Wow, how creative. You'd think the tanning place would name itself California Tans or Sunshine Tans, or something like that. Not just "Tanning." I mean, it's straight and to the point, but it doesn't exactly have a ring to it. And what about Religious Store? Again, you can tell what it is just by looking at the name of it, but is there any sane, non-religious zealot who gets excited about taking a trip to Religious Store? And I'm not going to bother factoring in religious zealots, since everyone knows that they're too busy handing out leaflets and touching little boys to go shopping.



Wow. I still can't believe what that says, and I've stared at this picture countless times.

This was taped to the community mailbox, as some foreigner named Gennadiy Fomienko has yet to receive his "Emigration latter."

For the sake of this country, let's hope that Gennadiy gets deported because he never "receved" it. Whoever wrote this spells better than Gennadiy does; otherwise, he would've written it. That's terrible. Just look at all of the grammatical and spelling errors:

  • Some body
  • Receve
  • Latter
  • Emigration
  • By mistakenly

    If I had more time on my hands, I would've dressed up like Donald Trump, showed up to Gennadiy's house, and told him that I was going to deport him myself. Oh, what fun I would've had.



    This is a Christmas gift I bought for my girlfriend - and my wrapping job. Sadly, this is my best effort.

    Now, before you criticize me too much, this is the bottom of the present. Thus, I didn't expect my girlfriend to even see it. Unfortunately, she did, and she laughed at me despite the fact that I tried so hard.

    I don't get how people do it. Honestly. I can't properly wrap a present to save my life. I just don't get it. And really, I'm beginning to think that no one really knows how to wrap a present. I think people how wizard powers like Harry Potter, and when I'm not around they go, "Expecto Wrappo Gifto!" and then the gift wraps itself. Stupid wizard bastards.



    Another picture of Sherlock, with this one being significant because we bought him a leather jacket for the winter, and he looked rather proud wearing it.

    Before you criticize, I picked out the leather jacket myself. I mean, sure, he looks like he belongs in a gay biker gang, but it's not like there's anything wrong with that. And if I know anything about women, it's that they like biker dudes, so if anything, this should help him get some action. I'm just being a great wing man!



    And here I am wearing a costume of my own. This was from this recent Halloween, as I dressed up a zombie killer, while my girlfriend was a zombie.

    I know, I know, I took a selfie, and I've previously written that unless you're a hot chick showing off cleavage, people who take selfies should die in a fire, especially if you're a dude. However, my mom wanted to see a picture of my Halloween costume, so I was just doing this for her. Hopefully this saves me from being thrown into a fire.

    Oh, and you may have noticed I have a picture of Yoshi in the background. Is that weird? What's so strange about having a picture of Mario's most-trusted dinosaur hanging in my house? It's not weird at all, so get off my f***ing back!!!








    This and the next picture are photos of random fans. This first one is funny because this fat Mexican man looks like he's going to vomit. I'm sure he was just so shocked that his crappy 49ers were actually winning a game. If I were a Niner fan, and my team happened to be winning, I'd be puking all over the place too. So, it has nothing to do with the fact that the Mexican guy probably ate too many fried chickens and watermelons prior to attending the game.

    Wait, I think I got my racial stereotypes confused. I hate it when that happens.



    And here's the second one. I don't know about you, but there's nothing more satisfying than watching Cowboys fans cover their faces in pure agony, as their team once again chokes an important game away.

    That's exactly what's happening here - that, or they ate too many fried chickens and watermelons before the game. Crap, that's not right either.



    Now, here are people who ate too many fried chickens and watermelons -probably for their third breakfasts!

    I actually used part of this picture in a Jerks of the Week entry about the Jersey Shore from this past summer, but I never mentioned that there were other obese women in the area.

    I think this is horrible. There's nothing worse than going to the beach and expecting to see hot chicks in bikinis, only to show up and be witness to something like this. Unfortunately, a sight like this one is all too prevalent at the Jersey Shore, as Philadelphia has been deemed the fattest city in the world.

    This is just sad. Everyone is concerned about there being too much pollution in the ocean, or too much trash on the beach, but the No. 1 reason the Jersey Shore has been ruined is because all of these fat women.

    Public service announcement time: Please save the Jersey Shore. If you see a fat woman, grab the nearest hamburger and lure her away from the ocean. With enough acts like this, we can save our beaches.



    Much has changed for me ever since my girlfriend moved in. Whenever I went to the grocery store before, all I'd purchase would be Cocoa Puffs, milk, orange juice, cheese, bread, chips and Pop Tarts. And that's all I needed.

    Here's part of our grocery list now. It's crazy. I mean, Dove soap is something I had before. The same with Febreze. Thank God for Febreze, by the way. I didn't have to do a single load of laundry in college because of it.

    What's this other stuff, though? Conditioner is something women use in showers, but for what? That was never explained to me. Dog treats are new because I didn't have a dog before. Trash bags? What a concept! I used to put my trash in random grocery and Wawa bags! And Dryel... only God knows what the hell that is. If I were to guess, it's something that is used to dry stuff, but I could be wrong.



    This and the next picture are of my dog when he was a tiny puppy. It's crazy how much he's grown. He used to be a little guy who chewed up and peed on my bank statements, tax documents and Magic cards, as shown here.

    Now, he's a giant guy who chews up and pees on my bank statements, tax documents and Magic cards. And yet, he has the audacity to beg for my Vitamin X food!



    And here he is, as I'm holding him up to my laptop, where I have him pretending to type on my laptop. As you can see, he's making me pay by biting my hands. His teeth are super sharp, so it's a miracle that I can actually still use my hands.

    Oh, and as you may have noticed, I'm wearing the same green t-shirt from my dinner photo. All I can say is, thank God for Febreze.

    LOADING COMMENTS...



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    Jerks of the Week - May 27, 2013: Jerks of the May 18 Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - May 20, 2013: Internet Idiots II
    Jerks of the Week - May 13, 2013: Sunday Shopping
    Jerks of the Week - May 6, 2013: Jerks of the Housewarming Party
    Jerks of the Week - April 29, 2013: Hot Tub Adventures
    Jerks of the Week - April 22, 2013: Jerks of Saladworks
    Jerks of the Week - April 15, 2013: Jerks of New Computer Day
    Jerks of the Week - April 8, 2013: Jerks of Walnut Grove
    Jerks of the Week - April 1, 2013: April Fools and April Truths
    Jerks of the Week - March 25, 2013: It's Not Complicated AT&T Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2013: My Second Stalker, Jerks of the Old Gym Pool & Locker Room
    Jerks of the Week - March 11, 2013: Blizzard of 2013
    Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2013: Jerks of Tulane
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2013: Jerks of New Orleans
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2013: Jerks of Philadelphia International Airport
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2013: Jerks of Bowling Night
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2013: Jerks of Tango: Where They'll Be in 2020
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2013: One Final Night at Tango
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
    Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
    Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
    Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
    Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
    Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
    Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
    Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
    Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
    Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
    Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
    Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
    Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
    Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
    Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
    Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
    Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
    Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
    Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
    Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
    Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
    Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
    Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
    Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
    Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
    Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
    Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
    Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
    Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
    Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
    Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
    Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
    Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
    Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
    Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
    Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
    Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
    Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
    Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
    Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
    Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
    Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
    Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
    Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
    Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
    Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
    Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
    Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
    Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
    Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
    Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
    Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
    Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
    Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
    Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
    Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
    Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
    Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
    Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
    Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
    Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
    Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
    Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
    Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
    Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
    Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
    Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
    Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
    Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
    Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
    Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
    Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
    Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
    Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
    Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
    Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
    Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
    Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
    Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
    Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
    Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
    Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
    Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




    NFL Picks - Sept. 20


    2018 NFL Mock Draft - Sept. 14


    Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 6


    2018 NBA Mock Draft - Aug. 23


    2019 NFL Mock Draft - June 1


    NFL Power Rankings - May 5









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