Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2015





Jerks of the Week: Nov. 23, 2015


JERK OF THE WEEK: The Trip to Pennhurst Asylum

The title of this Jerks of the Week entry might make you think that I've lost it and had to be committed. If so, umm, where have you been all this time? I've lost it years ago. If you couldn't tell that from my incoherent ramblings on this Web site since 1999, then perhaps you should be in a mental institution along with me.

I did go to the Pennhurst Asylum on a recent Saturday, but I wasn't forcibly escorted there for my mental health, which probably should've been the case. Rather, my girlfriend and I took a trip there, along with her sister and some friends, to visit a Halloween attraction.

My girlfriend told me about Pennhurst Asylum beforehand, so I got pretty stoked about it. Apparently, this place had weird doctors who either tortured or performed strange medical experiments on patients for decades. The government eventually found out about it and shut the place down, and this actually led to a better standard of practice when it came to mental health facilities.

A company eventually had an idea to make Pennhurst Asylum a Halloween attraction, and this was met with some resistance from some people who thought it was disrespectful to those who were tortured and/or killed there over the years. This company must have distracted these PC idiots with something else - perhaps alerting them that a fat person who posted a naked picture on Twitter was getting criticized for his body shape as a result - so they were able to push this attraction through.

That's the trick to dealing with these PC idiots, by the way. Either completely ignore them, or make sure they're whining and complaining about something else so they forget about the slightly offensive thing you've done or said that was ignored by normal people who actually have jobs or a real life. The moral of the story is that Kyle should've continued to say that Caitlyn Jenner isn't a hero, or he should have rolled with Cartman's plan to have pregnant Mexican women invade the PC Bro house. As a result, he had to buckle up with Jenner on a cross-country car ride. It was his fault for surrendering to these morons. We can learn a lot from South Park in terms of the mistakes the characters commit on that show. And no, Jenner is not a hero. More like a loser.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, right, the Pennhurst Asylum. My girlfriend bought tickets for Saturday, Oct. 17.

"We have to leave at 4 o'clock, sharp," she said.

That meant that we were going to be out the door around 4:45. You see, I'm a chronically late person. I'm never on time for anything. I used to roll into Penn State classes around 20 minutes late. I was once 50 minutes late for a 75-minute history class because of tacos, but that's a story for another time. I never thought much of it until a buddy of mine from my news ethics class had this to say:

Friend: Dude, you're so cool.

Me: What do you mean?

Friend: You just waltz in 20 minutes late every class with this "I don't give a f***" attitude. Everyone wishes they could do that, but you're the only one who does.

I was shocked to hear that. I didn't think I was doing anything special, and it's not like I was chronically late for a good reason. I'd either be working on this site or downloading lesbian porn most of the time.

So, with that in mind, I stayed in bed until 1, got up and poured some Cocoa Puffs into a bowl, did some work, watched some college football, talked on the phone with my friend Body Burner, and went on the elliptical. After I showered, it was 4:30. I stepped out of the bathroom and saw my girlfriend staring at me angrily.

Girlfriend: Walt, we're late! You know how I hate being late!

Me: I'm sorry!

Girlfriend: You're not sorry because you're always late! Always!

Me: Sorry!

Girlfriend: Stop saying you're sorry!

Me: I'm sorry!

Girlfriend: Ahhhhh!!!

After saying sorry about five billion more times, my girlfriend finally forgave me - or at least she said she did.

"Call up the pizza place when we get to Route 202," she said. "We'll pick up the pizza and eat at my parents' house before heading over to the Pennhurst Asylum."

I did as I was told, and proceeded to have one of the most frustrating conversations of my life...




You'd think that placing an order for pizza would be simple. Ha! I dialed the place, and some guy who sounded like he just walked out of his trailer park home answered the phone.

Me: Hi, can I have two large pizzas, one pepperoni, one half-plain and the other half onion and green pepper?

Pizza Guy: So, you wanna get to pizzas, one pepperoni, one onion and green pepper.

Me: The second is half-plain, half-onion and green pepper.

Pizza Guy: Half plain?

Me: Yeah. Half-plain, half-onion and green pepper.

Pizza Guy: Didn't you say pepperoni?

Me: Yeah, the other pizza.

Pizza Guy: So, you want half-pepperoni, half-plain on one, and half-onion and half-green pepper on the other.

Me: No! I want pepperoni on one. On the other, I want half of it to be plain, and I want the other half of it to be onions and green peppers.

Pizza Guy: Oh, that's what I said the first time!

What!? No it wasn't!

I wanted to yell at this guy, but I didn't want him to put semen and/or boogers in my food.

My girlfriend whispered to me, "Hey, get wings, too."

Me: Hey, what are the quantities of wings you have?

Pizza Guy: Huh?

Me: How many wings do you sell?

Pizza Guy: I don't know.

Me: You don't know?

Pizza Guy: Nah-uh.

Me: Could I just get wings then?

Pizza Guy: How many you want?

Me: I don't know! I don't know what the quantities are!

Pizza Guy: OK, lemme check.

Wow, how incompetent is this a**hole? I get if you don't know the quantities, but couldn't you check instead of saying, "I don't know?"

I eventually ordered 24 wings. Then, it came time to place my name for pick-up...

Pizza Guy: What's your name?

Me: Walt.

Pizza Guy: What's your name?

Me: Walt.

Pizza Guy: What's your name?

Me: Walt!

Pizza Guy: I'm asking you, what is your name!?

Me: It's Walt. W-A-L-T.

Pizza Guy: Oh, Walt. Like Walt Disney, heh.

Yeah, like Walt Disney. I was so confused by this exchange until it occurred to me that he thought I was asking, "What?" instead of saying, "Walt." I guess I could forgive this misunderstanding if he didn't sound like a bumbling idiot during the rest of the phone call.

The pizza and wings, by the way, were great, in case you were wondering. And yes, I checked for semen and boogers. Didn't find any.






At any rate, we drove over to the Pennhurst Asylum after dinner. The trip took longer than expected, and I found myself dozing off in the back seat as my girlfriend's sister's fiance was behind the wheel. We stopped at Dunkin Donuts for coffee, which really didn't help me because I was the only one in the group who doesn't drink coffee. I was happy to use the rest room, and everyone followed suit after they finished ordering. However, they all had to wait because some dude with a Justin Bieber lesbian haircut entered the bathroom after me. He locked himself in for what seemed like 20 minutes. He was obviously taking a crap, but I feel like he should've waited; not because everyone else would've been faster, but because he had a Justin Bieber lesbian haircut.

It wasn't an ordinary Justin Bieber lesbian haircut. His hair was covering his eyes, almost as if he were a sheepdog. I think anyone who has dumb hair like this should have all of their rights revoked. They shouldn't be able to vote or own homes. That may seem cruel, but if they're dumb enough to get horrible haircuts like that, who knows what sorts of other bad decisions they'll make?

It took a while, but we finally left Dunkin Donuts. Minutes later, we were parked right outside the Pennhurst Asylum. The place had a creepy vibe to it, which was a positive, considering it's a Halloween attraction. There were plenty of abandoned, dark buildings and strange tunnels everywhere. It was definitely legit.

Unfortunately, the downside was that we had to stay in line. It was a long line, too, which was not good news for my horrible back. Making matters worse, my cell phone was dying, so I couldn't check college football scores to see which of my bets were losing. It turned out that all of them were.

This was all worth the wait. We were eventually crammed into a small room and told to proceed through a door, six at a time. We traversed through the asylum, running into crazy-looking actors who did a great job of spooking us. Here were four frightful things, as far as I was concerned:

1. There were several women sitting on the ground, bobbing back and forth, and they had their hair covering their faces entirely, kind of like the Grudge. As you walked by them, you didn't know if they would grab your leg or not.

2. There were several mannequins scattered throughout the asylum, which gave it a Silent Hill vibe. Except some of the mannequins were real people posing as mannequins, and they'd jump out and grab us unexpectedly. I thought that was pretty cool.

3. There was one room where half the floor appeared to be missing, and we'd have to lean up against the wall to walk on the floor that was still remaining there. But even that seemed treacherous.

Me: What do we do!?

Girlfriend: Walt, it's glass! You can walk on it!

Me: Uhh... umm... I knew that!

Girlfriend: Sure!

4. One of the actors, posing as a crazy scientist, walked over to us and told us that he wanted to play around and experiment with us. He was obviously kidding, but then he grabbed my stomach and wouldn't let go. If he did this quickly, I would've thought it was funny, but he held on for like 30 seconds. I suddenly got the feeling that he wanted to pull down my pants, and in Matt Millen fashion, ram a kielbasa up my backside. Fortunately, I was able to release from his grip and run to the next room, which was a bathroom, where a man was drowning in his own feces.

All in all, I had a great time. Everyone I was with did as well. The same couldn't be said for everyone at the attraction, however. While the people I was with were preoccupied with someone they recognized, I overheard this hot-looking blonde chick with her boyfriend, "They better have like beer here, or this place is like lame!"

OK, Joe Cool. Way to be too awesome for anything.

I suddenly found myself wishing that some of the sick doctors from the real Pennhurst Asylum were still around so that they could torture this bimbo for being such a b***h.

Wait, what? You think that was a crazy thing to say? Once again, remember whom you're talking to. Like I said, I should've been locked up in a mental hospital years ago.

LOADING COMMENTS...



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Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




NFL Picks - Sept. 24


2019 NFL Mock Draft - Sept. 23


2018 NFL Mock Draft - Sept. 21


Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 6


2018 NBA Mock Draft - Aug. 23


NFL Power Rankings - May 5









 





 

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