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Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012




Jerks of the Week for Sept. 24, 2012


JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Visa Credit Card

The week of Sept. 3 was pretty rough for me. My NFL Picks were terrible, so I lost tons of money as a degenerate gambler. The pool at my new gym was 78 degrees, which is way too cold for a fat slob like me (more on this another time). And I just found out that they banned soda in New York.

I've never been to New York - I hate big cities, including downtown Philadelphia - so this doesn't affect me directly, but it will because I have a feeling that Philly will abolish sodas next. What am I going to do without my precious Pepsi Throwback?

All of this was a mere blip on the radar, however, compared to the frustration I had dealing with my Visa credit card company. It all started the afternoon before Labor Day. Because it was the beginning of the month, I received a Paypal invoice from my friend Kenny Ortiz, who owns this Web site's hosting company, 4thfloormedia.com.

I logged into Paypal and selected the option to pay Kenny using my Visa business credit card. This normally takes less than a minute, so I figured I'd just click my mouse a couple of times and move on with my day. That, unfortunately, was not the case because I received an alert saying my credit card was rejected.

I didn't understand how this could be. I always pay my credit card bills on time, and I'm well below my limit. I called the service number on the back of the card, and as you can imagine, I was told, "All of our customer service representatives are currently busy right now. Please hold." I've always wondered, what do these customer service reps do all the time that makes them so busy? I highly doubt that dozens of people call in every hour, so they're definitely not talking to people on the phone. I imagine that these reps are just updating their Facebook profile, sending text messages and whacking off to gay animal porn (not that there's anything wrong with that). Why should they care if a customer is put on hold for a long time? It's not like they lose business if a consumer opts to go with another credit card company.

I was put on hold for 19 minutes. I remember because it was 1:36 when I was told that the customer service reps were looking at gay animal porn, and it was 1:55 when I finally was able to talk to a human being. I was only briefly relieved; I quickly discovered that interacting with this particular customer service rep would be more aggravating than listening to that god-forsaken elevator music for 19 minutes.

Customer Service Rep: Hello, my name LaQuisha, thank you for callin' the Visa credit card, how many I assist you today?

Me: Hi, I was trying to pay for something with my credit card, but it says it was declined. I wanted to know why that was happening.

LaQuisha: OK sar, lemme put you on hold while I get yeh information.

I was put on hold for five minutes. I already entered in my credit card number before I waited for LaQuisha to update her Facebook status the first time, so why did she need to pull up my data while I was on hold for 19 minutes? What the hell was she doing for those 19 minutes?

Five minutes later, I heard LaQuisha's lovely voice again.

LaQuisha: Thank you for holdin', sar, now that I got yeh information, what seems to be the problem with yeh credit card?

Ugh. Did she not listen to me the first time?

Me: Same as last time. I tried to pay for something, but it said my card was rejected.

LaQuisha: OK sar, I'm seein' an outstandin' balance on yeh credit card.

Me: Outstanding balance? But I pay off all of my credit cards in full every single month. I don't understand how I could possibly have an outstanding balance.

LaQuisha: OK sar, lemme put you on hold while I verify yeh information.

UGH! Are you freaking kidding me? I had to be put on hold again? Why does she need time to verify my information? She already has it. Did she feel like she needed to type in my name, social security number and other stuff again just to see if she pulled everything up correctly? I really don't understand why this is an arduous process.

Another five minutes went by, and LaQuisha was finally back. I remember thinking, "If she asks me what the problem is with my credit card one more time, I'm going to give myself a concussion by continuously beating myself over the head with my cell phone." Luckily, it didn't come to that.

LaQuisha: OK sar, I'm seein' an outstandin' unpay balance on yeh credit card. It's a unpay pass due of 49 dollas.

Me: I don't see how that's possible though. I always pay it on time.

LaQuisha: Check yeh credit card statement.

Me: OK, fine, but it just came in the mail two days ago. I don't see... wait... yeah, I see it.

It was in bright red. It said I owed $49 past due. I quickly opened my checkbook, and I noticed that I didn't have a stub for last month's credit card bill. I apparently didn't pay it, which is weird because I didn't have any mail on my office desk, which is where I always put it until I open it up.

Me: Look, I didn't get my last bill, apparently. That, or my dog ate it...

LaQuisha: Mmmhmm...

Me: But I only owe you $49, and I still have $5,000 or so remaining on my credit line. I've never been late on a single bill before. Can't I just pay for this and send my check out first thing Tuesday morning?

LaQuisha: I'm sorrray sar, but you can't use yeh credit card until you pay the unpay pass due.

Me: But it's only $49! I have $5,000 or so left to spend according to this statement! What the hell's $49 if I've never been late paying before and I still have $5,000 remaining on my credit line?

LaQuisha: I'm sorray sar, you muss pay the unpay pass due of 49 dollas.

Me: But that doesn't make any sense! I've paid you so much more every single month I've owned this credit card. And I'm just going to pay off the $49 plus everything else I owe on Tuesday!

LaQuisha: I'm sorray sar, you have a unpay pass due of 49 dollas. You muss pay the unpay pass due.

What a f***ing idiot. She kept saying the same thing over and over, so I just hung up the phone in complete frustration. I ripped a check out of my book, wrote down the entire outstanding balance, stuffed it into the envelope and placed it in the mailbox that very afternoon. The mail wouldn't go out until Tuesday, but I was just so pissed off that I wasn't thinking coherently.

I had a fantasy football draft that night and then had to prepare for Week 1 of the NFL, so it was only in the back of my mind until Wednesday morning...







JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 2: LaQuisha

I work on this Web site very late at night. I like to run it like a newspaper, with all of the updates posted in the morning so people can read the articles just as they're about to go to work or school. So, because I'm doing stuff on the site and talking to my girlfriend, who is also a night person, I often go to bed between 4 and 6 a.m.

I keep my phone on full volume just in case of emergencies, but everyone knows not to call me before 11, so it's not a big deal. However, my phone rang at 8:15 in the morning Wednesday, awakening me from my slumber. I reached for my phone, nearly knocking over my glass of water in the process.

Female Voice on Phone: Hello, may I speak to Walter Chere... Chere... pinksky?

Me: Uhh... umm... yeah, this is Walt.

Female Voice on Phone: Hello, my name LaQuisha from Visa credit card. I'm callin' cause you have an outstandin' balance of...

Me: Ugh! Are you serious? I just spoke to you on Sunday!

LaQuisha: And you also have an unpay pass due of 49...

I lost it.

Me: WHAT THE HELL!? ! I CALLED YOU PEOPLE ON SUNDAY AND I SAID I DIDN'T HAVE MY LAST BILL! I SAID I'D SEND OUT PAYMENT ON TUESDAY MORNING, SO OF COURSE YOU HAVEN'T GOTTEN IT YET! WHY THE F*** ARE YOU CALLING ME THIS SOON!?

LaQuisha: How much you pay on the bill that you send in?

I told her the exact amount down to the very last cent because I remembered it so vividly. I had to repeat it thrice, however, because I got a "Whachu say?" from LaQuisha after the first try and then "how many cent?" after the second attempt.

LaQuisha: What kinda job you do?

Me: I'm self-employed.

LaQuisha: Oh, OK, well everythang seem to be in orda. Is there anythin' else I can do for you today?

Me: No!!!!!!!!!!!

LaQuisha sounded upset that I yelled at her that last time. She quickly said, "goodbye" and hung up the phone, but it left me wondering why my occupation was important to her. It was apparently OK that I was self-employed, but what if I said I was a teacher or a policeman or a garbage man? Would everythang not be in orda?

This entire experience agitated me to no end. It still frustrates me that I couldn't do anything with my credit card because I had $49 past due when there was still $5,000 available for credit. If the $5,000 is irrelevant in this instance, then what's the point of it? Why even have a credit limit if they're not going to own up to it on their end?

Of course, my exchange with LaQuisha was much more annoying. Would it kill the credit card company to put a literate person on the phone who actually listens to what I'm saying? Is that too much to ask?

You know, I suddenly understand why it takes 19 minutes for customer service reps like LaQuisha to answer the phone. They're not updating their Facebook profile, looking at gay animal porn or sending texts. I'm convinced that they're just staring blankly into space with drool coming out of their mouth.





JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 3: The Replacementender

Based on everything that happened with the credit card, LaQuisha, the Giants costing me $330 and the cold pool making me miserable, I needed a beer that Friday. I couldn't go to Tango all August because NFL preseason games were scheduled during the weekend, but I was finally able to go out with my friends.

The first thing I noticed when walking into the bar was how packed it was. Tango's crowd had really diminished over the summer, but there were so many people there that particular night, including numerous hot chicks. I asked some people what had changed in the past month, and apparently it was because they reopened the band area. I hate bands, so that didn't interest me, but if it brings more people, I'm all for it.

The second thing I noticed was that the Blondtender wasn't there. The usual guy bartender was behind the bar and he was with another blond-haired woman (near 30) I had never seen before. It was very strange not to see the Blondtender working on a Friday night, so I asked my friend Glimmer what happened to her.

Me: Hey, is the Blondtender not working tonight? If she is, I need to be prepared to cover up my anus just in case she tries to rape me with a cucumber again.

Glimmer: Umm... the Blondtender doesn't work here anymore.

Me: What do you mean? Why'd she leave?

Glimmer: They fired her.

Me: Fired her? How could they fire her? What'd she do? Is it because she raped me with a cucumber? If so, I'll vouch for her and say that I really enjoyed it. I don't want to be responsible for her firing!

Glimmer: No, it wasn't because of that. I'm not really sure, but I think it had to do something with her letting her brother go behind the bar and play pool for free, and stuff.

The Blondtender shouldn't have done that, but it was still an outrage that they fired her. How could they fire the Blondtender? She was Tango. As my friend Caveman once said, "She's one of the few reasons I wanted to come here tonight!"

My friends all seemed upset that the Blondtender was gone - even the female ones because they all thought she was cool. Glimmer and my friend Pat suggested there was a silver lining, however.

Glimmer: Well, the replacement bartender...

Me: The Replacementender!

Glimmer: Umm... sure. The Replacementender does have a nice a** though, so that's a plus.

Pat: Oh, yeah. Her a** is pretty awesome.

Glimmer and Pat talked it up so much that I had to investigate out of pure curiosity. This proved to be difficult, however, because the guy bartender kept serving me. Not that I was complaining very much or anything because he gave me a beer for free. Still though, I wanted to see the Replacementender up close to see if Glimmer and Pat were correct.

Well, Replacementender finally approached me just as I was about to leave around 1:30 (I had some work I had to finish). She asked me what I wanted, and when I said "a cup of water," she gave me a disgusted look.

The Replacementender turned around, so I looked down. Based on what Glimmer and Pat said, I was expecting to see the most glorious a** of all time - one that would put Jennifer Lopez's to shame. I figured that angels would start singing as soon as I gazed upon the Replacementender's behind.

Instead? Meh. It seemed pretty ordinary to me. So, either one of two things happened. Glimmer and Pat may just have a poor taste in a**holes, or the Replacementender knew I was going to check her out, so she used her female magical powers to make herself look uglier.

My night was completely ruined. I slumped out of Tango and headed toward home. Halfway there, I suddenly felt my butt hurt a little bit. I knew then that the Ghost of Blondtender was trying to anally rape me with a giant cucumber. And I have to say that I enjoyed it a little bit.




More Jerks of the Week:
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Jerks of the Week - Oct, 6, 2014: Birthday Shopping at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 29, 2014: Dinners to Go
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Jerks of the Week - July 28, 2014: The Tampa Trilogy, 2014: Part 3 - Jerks of the Hotel and Ybor
Jerks of the Week - July 21, 2014: The Tampa Trilogy, 2014: Part 2 - Jerks of Disney World
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Jerks of the Week - July 7, 2014: Dumb Kids, an Old Pervert and a Lunatic
Jerks of the Week - June 30, 2014: Girl Meets World, Sushi and Soccer
Jerks of the Week - June 23, 2014: Therapy Pool Abominations
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Jerks of the Week - June 2, 2014: Five-Year Anniversary: 50 Apologies
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Jerks of the Week - May 19, 2014: Internet Idiots III
Jerks of the Week - May 12, 2014: Hate Mail, Part 2
Jerks of the Week - May 5, 2014: Hate Mail, Part 1
Jerks of the Week - April 28, 2014: People Plotting My Death
Jerks of the Week - April 21, 2014: How I Met My Cell Phone
Jerks of the Week - April 14, 2014: Bad Omens Monday
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Jerk of the Year - April 1, 2014: How I Met Your Mother Finale
Jerks of the Week - March 31, 2014: April Fools and April Truths II
Jerks of the Week - March 24, 2014: Downtown Business Meeting
Jerks of the Week - March 17, 2014: Jerks of the Old Gym
Jerks of the Week - March 10, 2014: Winter Olympics
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Jerks of the Week - Feb. 24, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 3: The Great Flood
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 17, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 2: Power Outage
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 10, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 1: Stomach Virus
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 3, 2014: Cooking with Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 27, 2014: Just Wright
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Jerks of the Week - Dec. 30, 2013: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
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Jerk of the Year - Nov. 11, 2013: Redskins Team Name Controversy
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Jerks of the Week - July 8, 2013: Master Zumba Invitation & Female Stalkers
Jerks of the Week - July 1, 2013: Jerks of Election Day - Damsel in Distress
Jerks of the Week - June 24, 2013: Attack of the White Trash Brigade
Jerks of the Week - June 17, 2013: Emmitt Smith Reviews Game of Thrones and Other Shows
Jerks of the Week - June 10, 2013: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - June 3, 2013: The People We Saw at Kenny's
Jerks of the Week - May 27, 2013: Jerks of the May 18 Wedding
Jerks of the Week - May 20, 2013: Internet Idiots II
Jerks of the Week - May 13, 2013: Sunday Shopping
Jerks of the Week - May 6, 2013: Jerks of the Housewarming Party
Jerks of the Week - April 29, 2013: Hot Tub Adventures
Jerks of the Week - April 22, 2013: Jerks of Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - April 15, 2013: Jerks of New Computer Day
Jerks of the Week - April 8, 2013: Jerks of Walnut Grove
Jerks of the Week - April 1, 2013: April Fools and April Truths
Jerks of the Week - March 25, 2013: It's Not Complicated AT&T Commercials
Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2013: My Second Stalker, Jerks of the Old Gym Pool & Locker Room
Jerks of the Week - March 11, 2013: Blizzard of 2013
Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2013: Jerks of Tulane
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2013: Jerks of New Orleans
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2013: Jerks of Philadelphia International Airport
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2013: Jerks of Bowling Night
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2013: Jerks of Tango: Where They'll Be in 2020
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2013: One Final Night at Tango
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




NFL Picks - Oct. 21


2015 NFL Mock Draft - Oct. 15


Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 5


2016 NFL Mock Draft - July 24


2015 NBA Mock Draft - July 1


NFL Free Agents





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