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Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010




Jerks of the Week for April 26, 2010

JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Pukemon

Just to let you know how much I've been wrapped up in the 2010 NFL Draft - don't worry, I'll have Jerks from the 2010 NFL Draft next week - I completely missed the famous Pukemon story; I found out from some of my friends at my gym. If you haven't heard of Pukemon, here's a quick recap:

Matthew Clemmens, a 21-year-old guy, attended a Phillies game with his buddy. They shouted obscenities and were just being really drunk and obnoxious. In front of Clemmens and his friend sat an undercover cop and his two daughters (15 and 11 years old). The 15-year-old girl turned around and told them to quit using vulgar language. Clemmens' friend allegedly spit on the girls and was escorted out of the stadium.

This apparently enraged Clemmens. Per eye-witness reports, a drunken Clemmens announced that he would throw up on the girls. He allegedly stuck his fingers down his throat, puked all over the 11-year-old girl, and then started throwing punches, thus earning the name Pukemon.

This embarrassed the city and the team. The Phillies apologized to the police officer and his two daughters. Even Philadelphia's mayor stopped embezzling tax money through government employee friends for a moment to ask for forgiveness. Pukemon is facing charges of simple assault, reckless endangerment, harassment and disorderly conduct.

The funny thing here is that Pukemon's uncle has defended his nephew. He called Pukemon "a good kid," and said that he got sick and was trying to prevent the vomit from spraying all over everyone.

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Pukemon's uncle wasn't at the game at all, so he knows firsthand that Pukemon got sick. And the punches Pukemon threw? Clearly he was thinking, "Oh gosh, I puked all over this little girl, but perhaps my fists of fury can help clean the vomit off of her!"

Unfortunately, Pukemon's super powers are limited to just throwing up on little kids and being a complete a**hole.




JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 2: NBA Analysts

Think I've made fun of Emmitt Smith a lot? There have been three Emmitt Anthologies, three Emmitt NFL Mock Drafts and an entire section of this site called Emmitt on the Brink. I've gotten a ton of mileage out of someone who completely debacled the English language.

I've been watching more NBA games lately to get ready for the playoffs. And I've made a wonderful discovery - there are tons of grammatically and logically inept NBA analysts out there just waiting to be made fun of. It's a freaking goldmine.

It shouldn't surprise you that one of these dopey analysts is on ESPN. His name is Jamal Mashburn, and he previously made a living in the NBA siphoning money out of moronic owners who continuously overpaid him. But the league is laden with guys who do that, so there was nothing special about Mashburn - until I heard him talking about the Cleveland Cavaliers one night.

ESPN's anchor - can't remember who it was - asked Mashburn a simple question: "Why do the Cavaliers need to bring back Shaquille O'Neal now as opposed to during their playoff run?"

An easy question. A sensible answer would have been, "This is the first year Shaq has been on the Cavaliers. He and the rest of the team are still getting to know each other, so it's important that they gel before the games really matter. Shaq also needs to get back into playing shape, and inserting him into the lineup during the playoffs could be disastrous."

That makes sense, I think. Here is what a wide-eyed and disoriented Mashburn said while looking into the camera:

"Well you know, Shaq is not some appetizer, he is a big ole Porterhouse steak!"

A completely irrelevant and nonsensical reply. The other analysts in the studio had to fake laugh at Mashburn because he looked around expecting a response. Perhaps they laughed at him; not with him.

After that 5-second uncomfortable pause, Mashburn continued, "Shaq can rebound the ball and score inside the paint."

That's it. Nothing else from Mashburn. There's your reason why Shaq had to come back before the postseason instead of during the playoffs - because he's a Porterhouse steak who can rebound and score in the paint.

It says a lot about ESPN that I can give a better answer than Mashburn. I barely watch the NBA; I just follow the scores. Why can I answer a simple question that Mashburn can't? It's almost as if he's transformed his NBA career into his broadcasting career - instead of siphoning money from dumb owners, he's siphoning money from dumb sports networks.

The sad thing is that Mashburn isn't even the worst guy on TV. I discovered this obscure analyst on NBA TV. I didn't even recognize him, and they never showed his name. After hearing him talk, I understood why.

The Cavaliers were playing someone some other night. I can't remember whom (I think it was the Clippers). But it was a tight ball game in the final seconds of the fourth quarter. The Cavs called a timeout, and NBA TV returned to the studios during the break. The announcer asked Unknown Idiot Analyst, "What's the game plan here? What will the Cavaliers do?"

Unknown Idiot Analyst suddenly moved his head and looked like he came out of a coma. After a 5-second pause, he raised his arms up in the air and slowly said, "I duunnnooooo!"

Wow! You're paid by the NBA to provide analysis for us, and you don't know what the Cavaliers are going to do? You have no ideas? You couldn't come up with anything while you were in your coma?

NBA TV went back to the game, but the Cavaliers didn't inbound the ball because the other team called a timeout. So, they returned to the studios, where the anchor once again asked what the Cavaliers were going to do. It was like the first time was a dress rehearsal.

Unknown Idiot Analyst thought about it for a couple of seconds, and proudly came up with an ingenious response, "LeBron Jame, LeBron Jame, LeBron Jame."

Thank you for that, Unknown Idiot Analyst. It took you two tries and you forgot the last letter of his name, but you finally realized the Cavaliers had to go to LeBron James in the clutch. Now that's quick thinking.

Where does ESPN and NBA TV find these people (what do I mean, "these people?") Do these networks actually conduct job interviews? If so, then what's the thought process? "Sure, these guys struggle with the English language and can't provide our viewers with any sort of coherent analysis, but they're former (and sometimes recognizable) players, so they obviously know what they're talking about!"

It's a joke, but I'm fine with it. It's great writing material.




JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 3: The Gym Milf's Two Kids

I've mentioned this before, but we don't get a lot of hot women at my gym. Actually, we don't get any - it's all old dudes who walk around the locker room naked with their balls flailing everywhere. The only reason I go to this gym is because it has a pool (plus my friends go there and it's cheap).

I was astonished when I saw this woman at the pool last Wednesday. She was this super-hot brunette. She was tan and looked Russian. She was somewhere between the ages of 26 and 32.

She was sitting by the pool, and I was wondering what she was doing there - until I noticed that she was watching two fat kids in the pool, whom I presumed to be her kids.

I got changed and went to a lane that was conveniently near her. I tried doing stuff to catch her attention, but nothing worked; she spent the entire time yelling at her kids.

At first, I didn't really pay attention to what her kids were doing. I was stretching and peering over at the milf instead. But she was screaming at the top her lungs every five seconds, so it finally caught my attention.

The older fat kid had a toy bucket in his possession. He would scoop the pool water in the bucket and fling it somewhere. Occasionally, the stream of water would hit an old person in the pool. Sometimes the water was hurled toward the deck. And on a couple of instances, he showered himself with this water.

Every time he would do this, the milf would shriek, "Stop throwing the water everywhere! I swear if you do it one more time, we're leaving! I'm going to tell your father! Hey you, the guy who's peering over at me, let's go have sex right now!"

Sorry, my imagination ran wild and I made that last part up.

Anyway, I found this whole thing hilarious because while the milf spent her energy yelling at her older son, the younger one was the one she should have been focused on.

The younger fat kid also had a toy in his hands - but instead of a bucket, it was a plastic watering can. The young fat kid would also scoop water into this thing, but instead of spraying it on an old person, he actually was drinking the water out of the watering can.

I nearly pulled a Pukemon. This little fat kid continuously poured the pool water into his mouth - and our pool has no ordinary pool water. In addition to the regular chlorine, we have tons of Band-Aids and old man urine floating around. All of this was going into this kid's mouth.

About three minutes after I noticed this, the milf finally saw what her younger kid was doing. She quickly stood up and yelled, "Out! Both of you out now!" I don't know if she was pissed off at her kids, or hurrying to go to the hospital to get the boy's stomach pumped. Hopefully the latter because I don't know how he could have survived with chlorine, Band-Aids and old man urine floating around in his body. Then again, he is a fat kid, so he probably eats random things all of the time.

These kids are jerks because they made the only hot woman in the entire gym leave, and based on how they were behaving, I doubt she'll ever be back. Chlorine, Band-Aids and old man urine be damned.





More Jerks of the Week:
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Jerk of the Year - April 1, 2014: How I Met Your Mother Finale
Jerks of the Week - March 31, 2014: April Fools and April Truths II
Jerks of the Week - March 24, 2014: Downtown Business Meeting
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Jerks of the Week - Jan. 27, 2014: Just Wright
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Jerks of the Week - Jan. 13, 2014: Snowed In and Going Insane
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Jerks of the Week - May 6, 2013: Jerks of the Housewarming Party
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Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2013: Jerks of Tulane
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2013: Jerks of New Orleans
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2013: Jerks of Philadelphia International Airport
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Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
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Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
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Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
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Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
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Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
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Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
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Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
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Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




NFL Picks - Sept. 18


2015 NFL Mock Draft - Sept. 17


Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 5


2016 NFL Mock Draft - July 24


2015 NBA Mock Draft - July 1


NFL Free Agents





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