Jerks of the Week - Sept. 8, 2014





Jerks of the Week: Sept. 8, 2014


JERK OF THE WEEK: Befriending Those Who Want to Kill Me

Four months ago, I wrote an entry about people who wanted to kill me. These were old Russians at my gym pool who constantly got pissed at me because I was "splashing too much," or in other words, actually swimming and not just pointlessly bobbing up and down.

Well, the angry Russians shouted the following the other day after I finished my mile:

"ZIS KID IS A**HOLE!"

"I NO VANT SVIM HERE ANYMORE BECAUSE ZIS KID!"

"VHY VEE PAY MEMBORSHIP, ZIS KID RUIN EVERYSING!"

"I SROW ZIS KID IN MIDDLE OF STREET SO HE GET HIT BY CAR!"

Think all of those were directed at me? I wish. It would be great to take credit for that. Unfortunately, none of the old people were referring to me. In fact, they've come to sort of like me. I kid you not.

You know the saying, the enemy of my enemy is my friend? Well, that's precisely the dynamic that occurred at my old gym. All of the old people used to despise me because I was the main guy - the evil person who actually got them a tiny bit wet in a swimming pool. Now, there's a new, evil arch villain - the gym itself.

I've written about this before, but my old gym puts maximum effort into screwing over its members. For instance, the pool is completely closed during the summer, save for one hour in the afternoon. From noon until 1 p.m., they open it up to the members. It's used for campers otherwise. And not just this particular gym's campers - other camps rent out the pool, so there are different kids coming in and out of the gym at all times. Jerry Sandusky's wet dream; everyone else's worst nightmare.

Of course, this begs the question: Why would another camp rent out an indoor pool for the summer? It's not like our pool stays open during thunderstorms, so what's the point? It's the summer, so wouldn't you rather swim outside than inside? Why don't those other camps just make their kids more miserable, and have them go to the dentist every day from 2 to 3? Or how about sending them to a Calculus lecture hall from 3 to 4? They could then top off the day by picking up trash on the side of the road. That sounds like a damn fun camp to me.

As if just one hour of pool time per day wasn't enough, my gym sometimes closes the pool entirely without notice. As a matter of fact, I'm writing this on a Wednesday - just two hours after a failed trip to the gym. I expected to get my mile in, so I changed and walked out to the pool deck. I was upset to see that the pool was occupied entirely by kids, and there was a sign on the door that said: "The pool will be closed from 12 p.m. to 1 p.m. today, thanks!"

Wow. So, the members get one hour every day, and they decided to take it away from us so the kids could swim indoors from noon until 1? Why? Couldn't they have swum before and afterward, like they're scheduled to? And what's with the lack of notice? I was at the gym on Monday, and there was no warning that the pool would be closed the entire day. How can they dick over members like this? I drove to the gym and got changed, all for nothing. Thanks a lot.

I wanted to voice my displeasure to someone, but the only person I recognized in the locker room was Russian Yoda Man, and the last time I saw him, he was asking children to touch his bicep in the shower. Yet another Sandusky wet dream.

Nevertheless, I felt like complaining to someone, so Russian Yoda Man and I had the following exchange:

Me: I can't believe they closed the pool today without any notice!

Russian Yoda Man: My identification card, I lose. Everyvere, I check.

Me: Oh that sucks you lost your driver's license.

Russian Yoda Man: Not my driving license, I lose. Gym membership card. Gone, it is. Everyvere I check, my friend.

Me: Well, they all know you here, so you can just say you forgot it at home.

Russian Yoda Man: No big deal, it is. Costs $10, new card.

I muttered "oh, OK" and walked away. I then went back to the pool one more time to make sure if the entire thing was taken up by the kids. I was hoping I could use a lane to the side, but upon inspecting the situation, I realized that wasn't possible. Even angrier this time, I was determined to vent to Russian Yoda Man.

Me: This is ridiculous! I can't believe they closed the pool like this!

Russian Yoda Man: Ridiculous, it is. Ridiculous I can no find my identification card. Everywhere, I look.

Me: I'm sure it'll turn up.

Russian Yoda Man: No big deal, it is. Pay $10 I vill for new identification card.

Ugh. Why wouldn't he listen to my rant about the gym pool? Did he think I was actually talking about his ID? And why was he so consumed with his gym ID if he said it wasn't an issue to replace it?

I got changed back into my normal clothes. Still fuming about this situation, I tried one last time...

Me: I'm so pissed about the pool. Why do they screw over the members like this?

Russian Yoda Man: Yes, membership. Membership identification, I lose.

At that moment, what I wanted most in the world was a lightsaber to decapitate Russian Yoda Man. It would've been mutually beneficial. I'd relieve some of the stress about the pool being closed, while he wouldn't have to worry about his gym ID being lost with his head lopped off. See? I'm considerate.




The angry old people I mentioned at the beginning of this entry weren't complaining about the pool being completely closed on this day, nor were they irate about their precious steam room being shut down either - but they easily could have been. Back on Aug. 5 - I remember the exact date - I saw a sign that said: "The steam room will be closed beginning on Aug. 6, thanks!"

Thanks? You're... welcome...? And what's up with the lack of explanation? How long will it be shut down? Why won't it be open? Couldn't they tell us why they were closing the steam room the following day?

I figured I might enjoy the steam room one last time before they closed it for what could be forever. However, I wanted an explanation, so I went to the front desk. The girl sitting there was some blonde chick I had never seen before. She was Russian, as I quickly discovered when I heard her accent.

Me: Hey, why is this steam going to be closed?

Russian Blonde: Yes... yes... steam room iz close.

Me: No, why will it be closed? When will it be open?

Russian Blonde: I no know... steam room has been close for very long time.

Me: It's been closed for a long time? I was just in there!

Russian Blonde: Oh! Zen I no know haha!

Wow, thanks for the help. I could understand if she was completely oblivious as to what was going on at the gym - I don't think anyone really knows when stuff will be open or closed - but why did she blatantly lie to me about the steam room? She could have just said, "Sorry, I no know," but she deliberately lied to me. She either was pretending like she knew what was going on, or exercising her pathological lying skills. This is what I have to deal with on a daily basis.






So, what were those aforementioned people pissed about? Well, after they get booted from the pool at 1, they like to sit outside under the sun, as their skin either rots or melts away. I guess that takes some of the displeasure away from being kicked out of the pool after just one hour. Unfortunately for them, the lifeguards have been told to lock the doors to the patio starting at 1, which means the old people can no longer sit outside.

Those angry statements and threats were directed to the lifeguard, who just shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly and told them he couldn't do anything about it.

As you can see, there's plenty for the old Russians to be angry about. That's why they no longer hate me. In fact, some of them have become very pleasant. For instance, I've discovered that this nice, chubby, elderly man knows three English words: "hi," "bye," and "spring."

"Spring?" you ask. Yes, "spring." When I see him in the locker room, I either say "hi" or "bye" to him, and he reciprocates. When he's in the pool, he motions me to come into his lane and says "spring, spring!"

I guess "spring" is a synonym for "jump," but who the hell ever says, "Go spring into the pool!" Also, "jump" is a more common word, so I don't know why he knows "spring" and not "jump."

Another old guy greeted me in the locker room, and I suddenly found myself engaged in a strange conversation.

Old Guy: Do you know Mischa?

Me: No.

Old Guy: Mischa is greatest guy in vorld!

Me: That's cool.

Old Guy: I vas hungry one time, and I go Mischa's house and I ask for sandvich. He give me sandvich!

Me: Awesome.

Old Guy: See zis guy here? (points to another old man.) He no give anybody sandvich! He no give anybody even von piece candy!

Me: Oh.

Old Guy: He a**hole zis guy! Big a**hole!

Me: Oh, OK.

I didn't know what to say. This Russian guy was berating some other old dude standing next him while praising some other person named Mischa for making him a sandwich. Why he thought I knew this enigmatic "Mischa" to begin with is beyond me.

Another much older man has started saying hi to me as well. I've seen him around, but I've never spoken to him until the gym began closing the pool down for all but one hour.

I never thought there was anything peculiar about this guy - until one day when he was holding a Metro newspaper. There was some hot brunette chick on the front page, though I didn't recognize her. I'm not sure if this guy did either. I hope not, for her sake, because all he kept doing was muttering, "So pretty... so pretty... so pretty... so pretty" while stroking her brown hair on the newspaper. I tried waiving hi to him, but he was so engrossed with this woman that he didn't even pay attention to me. I saw him a few days later, and he finally said hello back. He did have a hint of sadness in his eyes, however, perhaps because he lost his precious Metro newspaper.

That's when it hit me: Not being the primary villain of the gym has had devastating consequences. Instead of collecting Jerks material on these idiots, I am now friends with them. My new pals are a guy who can only say "spring" to me, a person who badmouths another individual standing next to him, and a pervert who has fallen in love with a random woman in a newspaper.

My greatest wish now is for one of these old Russians to "srow" me into the street so I get hit by a car. Not having to worry about my gym's pool hours in the afterlife would be nice, but someone else will have to do it. I'm not ending my existence by jumping into the street myself. I'm not springing into the street either.

LOADING COMMENTS...



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Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




NFL Picks - Sept. 20


2018 NFL Mock Draft - Sept. 14


Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 6


2018 NBA Mock Draft - Aug. 23


2019 NFL Mock Draft - June 1


NFL Power Rankings - May 5









 





 

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