Jerks of the Week – April 18, 2016



Jerks of the Week: April 18, 2016


JERK OF THE WEEK: Starbucks Sucks

I just performed the following Google search: “WalterFootball Jerks of the Week Starbucks” in order to see if I’ve ever written about Starbucks before. Numerous results came back, but all of them fell under one of two categories:

  • Writing about the sorts of new-age hippie douche bags who frequent Starbucks and spend countless money on their mocha frappe happy lattes while composing crappy music or writing terrible poetry.

  • Making fun of the notorious Jerry Jackson and his butt-buddy Marco Manila for working there.

    The point of my Google query was to see if I had ever ranted about Starbucks itself, and I apparently have not. This is not a surprise, as I seldom have a reason to enter one of those abominations. That’s because I hate coffee. There, I said it. I hate coffee.

    I imagine that 95 percent of you reading this are thinking, WTF, he doesn’t like coffee? What the hell is wrong with him? Meanwhile, the other five percent are probably illiterate, because they’d probably be thinking the same thing. Though, I guess that begs the question why they’re reading Jerks of the Week in the first place.

    At any rate, everyone is thinking this right now because everyone drinks coffee. Everyone. I haven’t met another adult who doesn’t drink coffee. When I tell people I don’t consume coffee, they look at me as if I were some sort of alien being who told them that I don’t breathe oxygen.

    I really don’t get it. I’ve tried coffee multiple times. I’d say I’ve done so on half-a-dozen occasions. And I’ve thought it was horrible each attempt. I don’t understand how people can drink it. It really is f***ing terrible. I’ve wanted to puke and/or brush my teeth every time I’ve tried it.

    This is a typical exchange I’ve had with someone after I tell them I don’t drink coffee:

    Me: I don’t drink coffee.

    Someone Else: WHAT YOU DON’T WHY NOT DO YOU HAVE CANCER!?!?!?

    Me: No, it sucks. It’s disgusting.

    Someone Else: Oh. Ha. You’ll get used to it. It’s an acquired taste.

    Get used to it? Why would I get used to it? And why does everything have to be a f***ing acquired taste? I don’t want to get used to something, and I don’t want to acquire any f***ing tastes.

    Instead of this acquiring tastes bulls***, why not drink something that actually tastes good, such as lemon iced tea, Pepsi or Dr. Pepper? All three of those beverages have caffeine, so why would anyone in their right mind prefer coffee over something that is actually delicious? It makes no sense to me. It’s like if people suddenly began drinking vomit. Everyone would do it, and then there would be Starbucks-type establishments where they’d serve mocha frappe happy vomittees, and people would pay $10 for a grande and then paint crappy portraits. And then I’d have to explain to more idiots why I don’t drink vomit. “Oh, you’ll get used to it; it’s an acquired taste,” they’d say, and then I’d shove my foot up their a**hole.

    OK, maybe that’s a slight extreme, but it really isn’t too far off. Coffee, as I said, is f***ing disgusting. Vomit is disgusting, too. Maybe it’s more disgusting, but it’s still in the same family of flavor. And believe me, those new-age hippie douche bags will try anything as long as they think it makes them look progressive.




    Believe it or not, I was in Starbucks the other day. It’s true. No, I didn’t transform into a new-age hippie douche bag. OK, maybe I am a douche bag – you’ll get no arguments from me about that – but I’ll be damned if I turned into one of those new-age hippie losers. I’ll be dead before I compose terrible music and draw horrible paintings.

    The reason I ventured into Starbucks? I went to work out at LA Fitness, and my girlfriend asked me to pick up some sort of coffee-type thing for her after I was finished at the gym. Easy enough, right? I thought so until she texted me what she wanted:

    “Can you get me a soy flat white?”

    Uhh… a soy flat white what? Am I supposed to know what this is? Or is there a beverage called a white, and she wants the soy flat version of it? If so, there better be a beverage called a “black” or a “dark,” because the Black Lives Matter movement will be all over it, shoving their misspelled signs in the faces of Starbucks employees. I actually hope they do this because anything that makes Jerry Jackson’s life more difficult is a positive in my book.

    Completely mystified, I walked into Starbucks, ready to embarrass myself because I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. I felt like a foreigner who just entered a strange land.

    “If new-age hippie douche bags can do this, so can I,” I told myself in an attempt to build my self-confidence. It didn’t work.

    I looked up at the menu for some guidance. Maybe I missed it, but I didn’t see a section of beverages for Whites or Blacks or Darks or Asians. Most of it was for coffee. There was a small area for iced tea, which I found disheartening because my girlfriend sometimes buys me lemon-flavored iced tea whenever she goes to Starbucks, and it’s quite good. However, the only two iced teas they had listed were Green Tea Passionate Fruit and something similar. I figured I’d just ask the cashier if they had regular iced tea that someone normal would drink.

    The cashier was some chubby Asian dude in his early 20s. He asked me what I wanted, and I read off the phone.

    “Can I get a soy flat white…?”

    I expected him to ask me some obscure Starbucks-esque question, such as “Would you like that in a moppe fratte latte happy?” To my utter shock, he did not. He just smiled and asked, “What size?”

    A simple question, I thought.

    “Umm… I don’t know, it’s for someone else, so I guess a medium,” I replied.

    He hesitated and looked perplexed.

    Chubby Asian Cashier: Umm… OK, a grande then.

    Me: Wait? No, I said medium.

    Chubby Asian Cashier: It’s a grande.

    Me: No, can I have a medium?

    Chubby Asian Cashier: It’s a grande.

    Me: I said medium, dude.

    Chubby Asian Cashier: Grande is medium.

    Me: No. Grande is large. I want a medium.

    Chubby Asian Cashier: No, grande is a medium here.

    Me: I don’t understand. I want a medium.

    Chubby Asian Cashier: I know. A medium-sized coffee is a grande at Starbucks.

    Me: WHAT!?

    Chubby Asian Cashier: So, you can have a grande, which is a medium. It’s exactly what you asked for.

    Me: I don’t get it.

    OK, I did get it at the very end, but I… actually, no I still don’t get it. Grande means “large.” I even Googled it. And I’m going to copy-paste it for proof. This is from SpanishCentral.com:



    Look. It says that “grande” means large, big, tall or grand. NOWHERE IN THERE SAYS THAT IT MEANS MEDIUM. NOWHERE!!!

    So, why is “grande” medium in Starbucks? Is this what the new-age hippie douche bags decided? They can’t paint portraits that sell for more than $5.99, and they can’t write music that doesn’t make people’s ears bleed, so they have to confuse normal individuals about beverage sizes? Is that it?




    If you thought my troubles at Starbucks were over, well, you don’t know me very well. My difficulties would continue because I thought it would be a good idea to order the iced tea my girlfriend always purchases for me.

    The chubby Asian guy, trying his hardest to hold in his laughter, looked like he’d have to put forth more effort in that regard once we began discussing iced teas.

    As noted earlier, I saw that they had two iced tea options on the menu. So, they were either concealing their other choices for some strange reason, or they stopped producing the lemon-flavored iced tea I so greatly enjoyed. Thus, my next question can be seen as quite reasonable:

    “Do you have iced tea besides the two green teas on the menu?”

    The chubby Asian cashier looked at me like I had two heads, then appeared as though he was about to burst out laughing. Well, excuse me, Mr. Big Shot, maybe I’d know which iced teas you had if they were on the f***ing menu!

    “We have black tea, the green tea you mentioned, peach tea, passion tea…”

    I held up my hand. “Let me stop you right there,” I said. “I don’t want to hear about any sort of iced teas that normal people don’t drink like passion fruit. I just want lemon-flavored iced tea. Do you have that?”

    He was about to die. He couldn’t hold it in anymore, so he started laughing.

    “No, we don’t have lemon-flavored iced tea,” he snorted.

    Ugh. Why is this so funny? Isn’t it reasonable to expect a place that sells iced tea to have lemon-flavored iced tea? Snapple’s trademark iced tea is “Lemon Tea” for f***’s sake.

    Some other employee, a short, brunette girl with pigtails, who would’ve been cute if she didn’t look like she dunked her head into a box of makeup, overheard us and stepped in.

    “We have lemonade iced tea,” she said. “Do you want that?”

    Lemonade iced tea? Maybe? I didn’t know. It didn’t sound quite right.

    Me: Is that pretty much lemon-flavored iced tea?

    Pigtails Girl: Not really. It’s lemonade and iced tea. We also just have lemonade if you want that.

    Me: Ehh… is the regular iced tea from before sweetened?

    Pigtails Girl: No, and what regular iced tea?

    Me: Is black iced tea regular?

    Pigtails Girl: Ah… sure. Do you want that unsweetened?

    Unsweetened? What do I look like, some communist? What sort of American drinks unsweetened iced tea? People who have defected from communist countries might do this if their former dictator hogged all of the sugar, but why would any non-diabetic American prefer unsweetened iced tea over sweetened iced tea? It would be like going to Best Buy and purchasing a TV, and the employee asking, “Do you want your TV to be colorless?” Uhh… no, because I’m a f***ng, non-diabetic American, moron.

    I told her I wanted sweetened black iced tea, and that seemed to be it. I handed over my money to Chubby Asian Cashier, who continued to laugh. I laughed as well because the whole thing was ridiculous. I was clearly out of my element. It was like Kim Kardashian taking a college course. She’d fail with flying colors, and so did I.

    Minutes later, Pigtails Girl handed me the two beverages. I took them out to the car and drove away. When I reached the first red light, I popped a straw into my sweetened black iced tea and took a swig.

    BLEGH!!!

    It was f***ing horrible. I tried it again, and it wasn’t any better. It was the most disgusting iced tea ever. It was so bad that I stopped in at CVS on the way home and purchased a bottle of Snapple lemon-flavor iced tea – i.e. a drink that didn’t taste like puke.

    When I came back home, I handed my girlfriend her White drink, and then frustratingly slammed my iced tea on the counter.

    “What the hell is wrong with this!?” I shrieked.

    She tried it, and replied, “This iced tea isn’t sweetened.”

    Wow. After all that, they gave me something I told them I didn’t want. You know, this wouldn’t have happened if unsweetened iced tea wasn’t an option. Why is it one? And why is sweetened iced tea not the default? You should have to go, “Hey, I’m a diabetic, can you not put sugar in my iced tea?” That actually makes sense. Why on Earth would anyone else choose a worse-tasting option? Going back to the Best Buy analogy, it would be like colorless TVs being the default, and you’d have to specify if you want a color TV. It’s so completely stupid.

    My girlfriend tried to remedy the situation by putting sugar into the iced tea, but that didn’t work because there was suddenly too much sugar. Plus, there was no hint of lemon at all.

    “For future reference,” she said, “I always get you the lemonade iced tea.”

    Wow, I never would’ve guessed.

    “And if it makes you feel any better,” she continued, “My drink is perfect!”

    That didn’t help, and I was furious. My girlfriend then did make me feel better by reminding me that I had a Snapple.

    Ah, thank the gods. I could enjoy a Snapple iced tea. You know, something that normal people actually drink.




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    Jerks of the Week - March 16, 2020: Wuhan Coronavirus
    Jerks of the Week - March 9, 2020: Car Inspections
    Jerks of the Week - March 2, 2020: Star Trek Picard
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 24, 2020: Nephtali Diaz
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 17, 2020: 2020 Oscars Golden Academy Awards and the Dana Schwartz South Park Tweet
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 10, 2020: The Golden Global Awards and the British Royals
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 3, 2020: Tiny Lifeguard, Cookie Monster Lady, Handsome Men in the Locker Room
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 27, 2020: Worst Best Dinner Ever: My Nifty Fifty's Saga
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 20, 2020: Millennials and Man Buns
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 13, 2020: Happy New Year, 2020
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 6, 2020: My New Dog, Raven
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 30, 2019: The Return of Facebook Beggar
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 23, 2019: Daughter for Sale
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 16, 2019: Mall Joker
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 9, 2019: Downton Abbey: The Movie
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 2, 2019: Our Healthcare System
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 25, 2019: The Most Popular Musicians
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 18, 2019: It's Raining Men
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 11, 2019: Trick-or-Treaters, 2019
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 4, 2019: The Mark Zuckerberg Testimony
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 28, 2019: The Worst Beer Purchase
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 21, 2019: The Worst Song Ever
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 14, 2019: Bank Robbers (Including Me)
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 7, 2019: Dumb Parents, Irrelevant Pregnancy and MeUndies
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 30, 2019: Horny Hot Tub Guys
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 23, 2019: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2019, Part 5: The Many Random Jerks of Las Vegas
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 16, 2019: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2019, Part 4: The Suicide Squad and the Blowup Doll
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 9, 2019: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2019, Part 3: Mojito Bro's Concubines and Casino Narc
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 2, 2019: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2019, Part 2: Mojito Bro and the Cabana Crew
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 26, 2019: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2019, Part 1: The Philadelphia International Airport
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 19, 2019: The Word "Stupid" and Birthday with the Nephews
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 12, 2019: The Sensory Deprivation Chamber
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 5, 2019: Jerks of the Baltimore Wedding: Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - July 29, 2019: Jerks of the Baltimore Wedding: Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - July 22, 2019: Welfare Shouting Match and FAAAAARKS!!!!!
    Jerks of the Week - July 15, 2019: Walt Goes to OBX, Part 5 - Attack of the Black Flies
    Jerks of the Week - July 8, 2019: Walt Goes to OBX, Part 4 - Sewage Water and No Hot Dogs
    Jerks of the Week - July 1, 2019: Walt Goes to OBX, Part 3 - More Poop Encounters
    Jerks of the Week - June 24, 2019: Walt Goes to OBX, Part 2 - Sherlock's First Day at the Beach
    Jerks of the Week - June 17, 2019: Walt Goes to OBX, Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - June 10, 2019: The 10-Year Jerks of the Week Anniversary
    Jerks of the Week - June 3, 2019: Bingo Night
    Jerks of the Week - May 27, 2019: The One-Year Anniversary
    Jerks of the Week - May 20, 2019: The Abomination That Was Game of Thrones: Season 8, Episode 5
    Jerks of the Week - May 13, 2019: Return to the Poop Gym
    Jerks of the Week - May 6, 2019: Saladworks Weirdos
    Jerks of the Week - April 29, 2019: Taco Hell, 2019
    Jerks of the Week - April 22, 2019: Wedding Ablaze
    Jerks of the Week - April 15, 2019: The Worst Waitress of All Time
    Jerks of the Week - April 8, 2019: AsianDating.com
    Jerks of the Week - April 1, 2019: April Fools and April Truths VII
    Jerks of the Week - March 25, 2019: Hibachi Restaurant Hates Me
    Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2019: Walt Goes to Super Bowl LIII, Part 4
    Jerks of the Week - March 11, 2019: Walt Goes to Super Bowl LIII, Part 3
    Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2019: Walt Goes to Super Bowl LIII, Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2019: Walt Goes to Super Bowl LIII, Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2019: Scott Sports
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2019: Flies in My Salad
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2019: Rat Feces in My Pizza
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2019: Someone Hit on Me at the Gym
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2019: Adventures at the Chinese Buffet
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2019: A Million Little Things
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2019: 2018 Christmas Commercials
    Jerks of the Year - Dec. 31, 2018: The Facebook Beggar
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2018: Dairy Queen and Cold Stone Creamery
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2018: Cat Lady, Thanksgiving Woman and the Shower Hags
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2018: Thomas Middleditch Verizon Commercials (Again)
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2018: Slow and Sucky Subway
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2018: Battle of the Sexes
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 19, 2018: Stories of Bill Cosby, Gym Vacations and Cheesesteaks
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2018: Jerks at the Zombie Circus
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2018: Halloween
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2018: Jerks of the Gym: Where's the Peef?
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2018: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2018, Part 4: My Near-Fight at Cowabunga Bay
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2018: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2018, Part 3: A Serial Killer Bird and Twin Peaks, the Restaurant
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2018: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2018, Part 2: The Mandarin Oriental Pool
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2018: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2018, Part 1: The Philadelphia International Airport
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2018: YouTube Personalities
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2018: Friends from College
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2018: Aladdin on Broadway
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2018: The Beach Weekend Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2018: Jerks of My Honeymoon - Part 6
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2018: Jerks of My Honeymoon - Part 5
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 13, 2018: Jerks of My Honeymoon - Part 4
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2018: Jerks of My Honeymoon - Part 3
    Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2018: Jerks of My Honeymoon - Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2018: Jerks of My Honeymoon - Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2018: Jerks of the First Mall Trip as a Married Couple
    Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2018: Jerks of My Wedding - Part 4
    Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2018: Jerks of My Wedding - Part 3
    Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2018: Jerks of My Wedding - Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2018: Jerks of My Wedding - Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2018: Jerks of My Bachelor Party - Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - June 4, 2018: Jerks of My Bachelor Party - Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2018: The Unhappy Meals
    Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2018: The Countdown, the Pervert and the Woman from Hell
    Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2018: Jerks of Chik-fil-A
    Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2018: Ballad of the Three Wawa Trips
    Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2018: Jerks of Boston Market
    Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2018: A Very S***ty Day
    Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2018: Jerks of the Niece's Birthday Party
    Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2018: The Nearly Forgotten Jerks of My Mom's Birthday
    Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2018: April Fools and April Truths VI
    Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2018: Katy Perry
    Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2018: Tipping Starbucks Cashiers
    Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2018: Mega Jerks at the Gym
    Jerks of the Year - March 5, 2018: Nazi Hot Tub Man
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 26, 2018: Walt Goes to Super Bowl LII, Part 4
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 19, 2018: Walt Goes to Super Bowl LII, Part 3
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 12, 2018: Walt Goes to Super Bowl LII, Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 5, 2018: Walt Goes to Super Bowl LII, Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 29, 2018: Smart Barista, Dumb Comcast Worker and Best Friends
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 22, 2018: Johnny Manziel's Cousin and the Lifesaver Mint Conspiracy
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 15, 2018: Crappy Italian Restaurant
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 8, 2018: Pre-Christmas Jerks
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 1, 2018: The 12 Things I Hate About Christmas
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 25, 2017: The Walnut Grove Township Meeting
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 18, 2017: Hallmark Movies
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 11, 2017: Verizon Guy
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 4, 2017: My Friend Drew, and the Craziest Facebook Conversation Ever
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 27, 2017: Angry, Old Men, and Sara the Starbucks Scumbag
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 20, 2017: More Jerks at the Card Show
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 13, 2017: Goodbye, AIM
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 6, 2017: I Have a Beautiful Figure Again
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 30, 2017: Haunted Attractions
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 23, 2017: Streaming Hipsters and CBS All-Access
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 16, 2017: The Gym Cesspool
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 9, 2017: Hayley Geftman-Gold, Redskins Marching Band Play, Memes Chip Guy
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 2, 2017: Shirtless Hooligans at the Mall
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 25, 2017: On the Road to Margate
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 18, 2017: Jerks of Ocean City, Maryland, 2017. Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 11, 2017: Jerks of Ocean City, Maryland, 2017. Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 4, 2017: Pathetic Jokester, Conspiracy Theorist and Hot Tub A**hole
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 28, 2017: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2017, Part 5: Not Hurricane Harvey, But Apparently Close
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 21, 2017: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2017, Part 4: Expensive and Mysterious Food
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 14, 2017: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2017, Part 3: Stupid Kids and Murderers in Vegas
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 7, 2017: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2017, Part 2: Razor Bombs and the High-Five Heist
    Jerks of the Week - July 31, 2017: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2017, Part 1: Spawns of Satan on the Airplane
    Jerks of the Week - July 24, 2017: The Return to My LA Fitness
    Jerks of the Week - July 17, 2017: The British Invade LA Fitness!
    Jerks of the Week - July 10, 2017: July 4, Bureaucrats and Narcs
    Jerks of the Week - July 3, 2017: Jerks at Sahara Sam's
    Jerks of the Week - June 26, 2017: Unicorns, Cheapskates and Stalkers at Starbucks
    Jerks of the Week - June 19, 2017: Jerks at the June Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - June 12, 2017: The Eighth Day at Best Buy
    Jerks of the Week - June 5, 2017: A Crappy Saturday
    Jerks of the Week - May 29, 2017: Plagiarism Accusations
    Jerks of the Week - May 22, 2017: The Best Buy Trilogy: 2017 Edition
    Jerks of the Week - May 15, 2017: Trouble at Water Aerobics Class
    Jerks of the Week - May 8, 2017: Jerks at the Card Show
    Jerks of the Week - May 1, 2017: Wendy's
    Jerks of the Week - April 24, 2017: Jerk of the Year: Hackers
    Jerks of the Week - April 17, 2017: Pepsi Commercial, McDonald's Commercial, Twitter Blockers
    Jerks of the Week - April 10, 2017: New Marriage, Angry Marriage
    Jerks of the Week - April 3, 2017: April Fools and April Truths V
    Jerks of the Week - March 27, 2017: Get Out and the Death of Macy's
    Jerks of the Week - March 20, 2017: Talking Buses and the Quarter Thief
    Jerks of the Week - March 13, 2017: Baja Fresh and Food Douches
    Jerks of the Week - March 6, 2017: Walt Goes to the Super Bowl, Part 4
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2017: Walt Goes to the Super Bowl, Part 3
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2017: Walt Goes to the Super Bowl, Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2017: Walt Goes to the Super Bowl, Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2017: The Warning, the Weasel and the Weirdo on a Whacky Wednesday
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2017: Tales from the Hot Tub
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2017: Skeletor's Hot Takes
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2017: Walter Goes to Harrisburg, Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2017: Walter Goes to Harrisburg, Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2017: Self-Entitled Douche Bag Kids
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2016: Christmas Shopping
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2016: Relaxation Saturday
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2016: My Best Friend's Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2016: Brain-Dead Saturday, Part 2: The Rocky Horror Picture Show
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2016: Brain-Dead Saturday, Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2016: Cobb Salads and Gym Desk Workers Who Hate Me
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2016: Halloween and the Election
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2016: Grub Burger Bar
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2016: Old Lady Hate, Old Lady Love
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2016: Timeless
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2016: The Vuse Odyssey
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2016: Seven Years
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2016: Tales of the Ailing Foot
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2016: Twelve Girls, Five Boys, $55 Million, and the Future
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2016: Dead Man in My Pool
    Jerk of the Year - Sept. 5, 2016: Colin Kaepernick
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2016: Jerks of Ocean City, Maryland. Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2016: Jerks of Ocean City, Maryland. Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2016: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2016
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 8, 2016: Walt Goes to Vegas 2016, Part 4: Prostitutes and Macaroni and Cheese
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 1, 2016: Walt Goes to Vegas 2016, Part 3: Cowabunga Bay
    Jerks of the Week - July 25, 2016: Walt Goes to Vegas 2016, Part 2: The Blue Man Group and the Spanking
    Jerks of the Week - July 18, 2016: Walt Goes to Vegas 2016, Part 1: Philadelphia International Airport
    Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2016: Jerks of the Birthday Party: Knee to the Balls
    Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2016: Shirtless Fish Tank Man and Facebook Douche
    Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2016: Twitter Social Justice Warriors
    Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2016: Getting Lost and Poisoned
    Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2016: Sad Mushrooms, Lonely Potatoes and Angry Men
    Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2016: Water Aerobics
    Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2016: Bar Conversations
    Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2016: Tales of Five Errands
    Jerks of the Week - May 9, 2016: Adventures at Acme
    Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2016: The Italian Cafe
    Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2016: Toxic Hell, Revisited
    Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2016: Starbucks Sucks
    Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2016: Jerks of Bizarro Rite-Aid
    Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2016: April Fools and April Truths IV
    Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2016: Battle of the Gyms: Old Gym vs. LA Fitness
    Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2016: Random Pictures on My Phone
    Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2016: Meshack and Marco Manilla
    Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2016: Lucifer
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 29, 2016: An Afternoon at McDonald's
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2016: Night at the Spa: My First Massage Ever
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2016: Surprise in a Box, Crazy Woman at the Bank, Dumb Girl at the Spa
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2016: Macaroni's
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2016: McPick 2
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2016: Seeing Star Wars
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2016: Powerball
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2016: December Heat Wave
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2016: The Top Five Jerks of 2015
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2015: Christmas Shopping Without a Baby
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2015: Christmas Shopping with a Baby
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2015: Mad Mex
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 7, 2015: Famous Dave's
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2015: Another Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2015: The Trip to Pennhurst Asylum
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2015: Halloween 2015
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2015: Jerks at My Sister's Wedding - Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2015: Jerks at My Sister's Wedding - Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2015: The Shirtless A**hole Brigade
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2015: Weight Gain and VANDALISM
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2015: Jerks of the Gym Pool
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2015: Papal Visit 2015
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2015: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2015: Second Trip, Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2015: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2015: Second Trip, Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2015: Tubing Down the Delaware: A Near-Death Experience
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2015: Jerks of My Birthday - A Surprise in My Bed!
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2015: Walt Goes to Vegas - Part 5: Slot Machines and Random Vegas Stuff
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2015: Walt Goes to Vegas - Part 4: Sportsbooks, Whore Houses and Michael Jackson
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 17, 2015: Walt Goes to Vegas - Part 3: Vegas Dining Experiences
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2015: Walt Goes to Vegas - Part 2: Mandalay Bay Hotel
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2015: Walt Goes to Vegas - Part 1: The Philadelphia International Airport
    Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2015: Cookies, Chips and Bombs
    Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2015: Stupid People in My Neighborhood
    Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2015: Sherlock Walt, and the Cases of the Scrambled Eggs and Missing Pepsi Bag
    Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2015: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2015: Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2015: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2015: Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2015: The Philadelphia Writers' Conference - 2015 Edition
    Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2015: Tales from the Baby Pool
    Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2015: Uzbekistan
    Jerks of the Week - June 1, 2015: Memorial Day Grocery Shopping at Giant
    Jerks of the Week - May 25, 2015: A Tale of Four Neighborhoods: Con Artists, Dog Poop and a Stolen Watch
    Jerks of the Week - May 20, 2015: Roger Goodell
    Jerks of the Week - May 18, 2015: Catching Up on Gym Jerks: Two Abominations, Two Creeps and a Monster
    Jerks of the Week - May 11, 2015: A Racist, a Woman-Beater and a Horse - the Greatest Sports Day Ever
    Jerks of the Week - May 4, 2015: Puppy-Training Classes
    Jerks of the Week - April 27, 2015: Gym Jerks - with Pictures!
    Jerks of the Week - April 20, 2015: It Follows
    Jerks of the Week - April 13, 2015: Bottom Dollar Closes - Part II
    Jerks of the Week - April 6, 2015: Bottom Dollar Closes - Part I
    Jerks of the Week - March 30, 2015: April Fools and April Truths III
    Jerks of the Week - March 23, 2015: The Old Man, the Heroic Man, and the Desperate Man
    Jerks of the Week - March 16, 2015: The News: Predators, Mushrooms, the Weather and the Undead
    Jerks of the Week - March 9, 2015: Valentine's Day Gifts
    Jerks of the Week - March 2, 2015: Disappearing Jerks: the Loser, the Douche, the Hobo and My Food
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 23, 2015: Gym Patrons and Their Mistakes
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 16, 2015: Return to Kyoto - The Japanese Nightmare
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 9, 2015: Jerry Jackson
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 2, 2015: Paranoia, Incest and Near-Death - All at the Gym!
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 26, 2015: Going to the Flyers Game
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 19, 2015: Return to Parx Casino
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 12, 2015: Chris Christie, Clorox, Gay Jokes
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 5, 2015: More Christmas Shopping
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 29, 2014: 2014, Year in Review
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 22, 2014: Jerks of Christmas Shopping, 2014
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 15, 2014: Idiots at the Gym
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 8, 2014: Septa Train Zombies
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 1, 2014: Lifeguard Training Day
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 24, 2014: Too Many Cooks
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 17, 2014: Halloween and Orange Juice
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 10, 2014: Dunkin Donuts
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 3, 2014: Kyoto and Japanese Food
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 27, 2014: Mario Lopez and Lily Adams
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 20, 2014: My Quest for a Lasagna Pan
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 13, 2014: Telling the Truth
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 6, 2014: Birthday Shopping at the Mall
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 29, 2014: Dinners to Go
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 22, 2014: Philadelphia
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 15, 2014: All Waiters Hate Me
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 8, 2014: Befriending Those Who Want to Kill Me
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 1, 2014: Little League World Series, Morning Radio Shows
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 25, 2014: Why True Blood Sucks
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 18, 2014: Selfies and Spammers
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 11, 2014: Shopping for Bras, Dominatrix Items and Stolen Goods
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 4, 2014: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2014
    Jerks of the Week - July 28, 2014: The Tampa Trilogy, 2014: Part 3 - Jerks of the Hotel and Ybor
    Jerks of the Week - July 21, 2014: The Tampa Trilogy, 2014: Part 2 - Jerks of Disney World
    Jerks of the Week - July 14, 2014: The Tampa Trilogy, 2014: Part 1 - Philadelphia International Airport
    Jerks of the Week - July 7, 2014: Dumb Kids, an Old Pervert and a Lunatic
    Jerks of the Week - June 30, 2014: Girl Meets World, Sushi and Soccer
    Jerks of the Week - June 23, 2014: Therapy Pool Abominations
    Jerks of the Week - June 16, 2014: Sprint Framily Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - June 9, 2014: Jerks of the DMV
    Jerks of the Week - June 2, 2014: Five-Year Anniversary: 50 Apologies
    Jerks of the Week - May 26, 2014: Night of the Six Stink Eyes
    Jerks of the Week - May 19, 2014: Internet Idiots III
    Jerks of the Week - May 12, 2014: Hate Mail, Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - May 5, 2014: Hate Mail, Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - April 28, 2014: People Plotting My Death
    Jerks of the Week - April 21, 2014: How I Met My Cell Phone
    Jerks of the Week - April 14, 2014: Bad Omens Monday
    Jerks of the Week - April 7, 2014: Clothes Shopping
    Jerk of the Year - April 1, 2014: How I Met Your Mother Finale
    Jerks of the Week - March 31, 2014: April Fools and April Truths II
    Jerks of the Week - March 24, 2014: Downtown Business Meeting
    Jerks of the Week - March 17, 2014: Jerks of the Old Gym
    Jerks of the Week - March 10, 2014: Winter Olympics
    Jerks of the Week - March 3, 2014: Valentine's Day Commercials 2014
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 24, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 3: The Great Flood
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 17, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 2: Power Outage
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 10, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 1: Stomach Virus
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 3, 2014: Cooking with Me
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 27, 2014: Just Wright
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 20, 2014: People Who Steal From Me
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 13, 2014: Snowed In and Going Insane
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 6, 2014: Christmas Shopping 2013
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 30, 2013: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 23, 2013: Toyotathon Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 16, 2013: My Elliptical - Struggles of a Fat Man
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 9, 2013: Weird Food, Terrible Music and Rude Service
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 2, 2013: AT&T It's Not Complicated Commercials Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 25, 2013: Pizza Gluttony
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 18, 2013: The Seven Deadly Jerks at Bravo!
    Jerk of the Year - Nov. 11, 2013: Redskins Team Name Controversy
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 4, 2013: Jerk-of-Treaters
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 28, 2013: WalterFootball and the Case of the Kidnapped Granddaughter
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 21, 2013: Jerks of the Mall: Hot Chicks vs. Ugly A**holes
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 14, 2013: Cereal Trilogy
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 7, 2013: Urban Education: Getting Pregnant at 13
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 30, 2013: The Philadelphia Writers' Conference
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 23, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 3: Return of Soulless-Eye Lady
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 16, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 2: Confrontation Friday
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 9, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 1: Windows 8 and the Geek Squad
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 2, 2013: Jerks of the WalterFootball.com Forum Party
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 26, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 3: Lots of Hot Chicks
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 19, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 2: Eternal Life
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 12, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 1: The Drowning Fat Man
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 5, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 4 - The Strange Woman Who Wanted to Give Me Head
    Jerks of the Week - July 29, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 3 - The Serial Killer and the Dance-Bang Girl
    Jerks of the Week - July 22, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 2 - First Beach Day and Two Nights Out
    Jerks of the Week - July 15, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 1 - Jerks at the Airport
    Jerks of the Week - July 8, 2013: Master Zumba Invitation & Female Stalkers
    Jerks of the Week - July 1, 2013: Jerks of Election Day - Damsel in Distress
    Jerks of the Week - June 24, 2013: Attack of the White Trash Brigade
    Jerks of the Week - June 17, 2013: Emmitt Smith Reviews Game of Thrones and Other Shows
    Jerks of the Week - June 10, 2013: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
    Jerks of the Week - June 3, 2013: The People We Saw at Kenny's
    Jerks of the Week - May 27, 2013: Jerks of the May 18 Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - May 20, 2013: Internet Idiots II
    Jerks of the Week - May 13, 2013: Sunday Shopping
    Jerks of the Week - May 6, 2013: Jerks of the Housewarming Party
    Jerks of the Week - April 29, 2013: Hot Tub Adventures
    Jerks of the Week - April 22, 2013: Jerks of Saladworks
    Jerks of the Week - April 15, 2013: Jerks of New Computer Day
    Jerks of the Week - April 8, 2013: Jerks of Walnut Grove
    Jerks of the Week - April 1, 2013: April Fools and April Truths
    Jerks of the Week - March 25, 2013: It's Not Complicated AT&T Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2013: My Second Stalker, Jerks of the Old Gym Pool & Locker Room
    Jerks of the Week - March 11, 2013: Blizzard of 2013
    Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2013: Jerks of Tulane
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2013: Jerks of New Orleans
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2013: Jerks of Philadelphia International Airport
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2013: Jerks of Bowling Night
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2013: Jerks of Tango: Where They'll Be in 2020
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2013: One Final Night at Tango
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
    Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
    Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
    Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
    Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
    Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
    Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
    Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
    Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
    Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
    Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
    Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
    Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
    Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
    Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
    Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
    Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
    Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
    Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
    Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
    Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
    Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
    Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
    Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
    Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
    Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
    Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
    Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
    Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
    Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
    Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
    Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
    Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
    Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
    Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
    Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
    Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
    Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
    Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
    Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
    Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
    Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
    Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
    Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Twitter Idiots
    Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
    Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
    Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
    Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
    Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
    Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
    Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
    Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
    Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
    Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
    Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
    Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
    Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
    Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
    Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
    Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
    Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
    Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
    Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
    Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
    Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype
    Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
    Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
    Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
    Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
    Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
    Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
    Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
    Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
    Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
    Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
    Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
    Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
    Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
    Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
    Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
    Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
    Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
    Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




    NFL Power Rankings - Feb. 22


    2024 NFL Mock Draft - Feb. 21


    Fantasy Football Rankings - Feb. 19


    NFL Picks - Feb. 12