Jerks of the Week - May 11, 2015





Jerks of the Week: May 11, 2015


JERK OF THE WEEK: A Racist, a Woman-Beater and a Horse - the Greatest Sports Day Ever

If you've been living under a rock, or if you've been unfortunate enough to have been trapped inside Rosie O'Donnell's stomach after she accidentally ate you, you may not be aware that we just experienced what the media and majority of people referred to as the "Greatest Sports Day Ever."

There was plenty for sports fans to get excited about on May 2. The day kicked off with Rounds 4-7 of the 2015 NFL Draft. At 6:30 p.m., the Kentucky Derby was set to run. This was followed by Game 7 of the Clippers-Spurs series, and the day culminated with the boxing match that fighting enthusiasts had been anticipating for half a decade: Manny Pacquiao versus Floyd "Woman Beater," erm, "Money" Mayweather.

ESPN, as you might expect, glorified this day. They shot their SportsCenter show live from Las Vegas, as if it really mattered where they broadcasted from. Each night at 6 p.m. Eastern, Lindsay Czarniak appeared on TV in some fancy-shmancy dress and squawked about how awesome this epic fight was going to be. I can't cite exactly what she said because I was too busy covering my ears so that they wouldn't bleed upon hearing her screeching, shrill voice. I still have nightmares about it.

Celebrities, of course, bought into this. Tom Brady took a jet to the Kentucky Derby and then flew over to Vegas to watch the fight. He appeared a bit less ridiculous than usual...



He still looked like a goofball, but it was a major improvement over last year's ensemble...



I'm not here to talk about Brady - for that, you can check out the Adventures of Tom Brady's Haircuts - but I'd rather discuss how much the "Greatest Sports Day Ever" sucked.

That's right. I said it. The "Greatest Sports Day Ever" sucked. I'm well aware that by voicing this opinion on the Internet, I put myself in danger of having masked ESPN employees come to my house, kidnap me and then torture me for days by having me listen to Czarniak break down highlights of every single game each night - a fate worse than death.

But even with that in mind, I'm not scared to go against the sort of consensus opinion that ESPN loves to brainwash its viewers with. In fact, I compiled a list of six reasons why the "Greatest Sports Day Ever" was overrated - and why everyone should have been aware that they were going to be greatly disappointed.


1. Day 3 of the NFL Draft is boring - OK, maybe it's not entirely boring - after all, we had Michael Sam kissing his boyfriend on national television a year ago. It was a great moment, though it obviously would have been better if, in the interest of fairness, they had two lesbian chicks kissing on TV immediately afterward. Oh, and these lesbian women had to be hot; they could not, under any circumstances, have hairy armpits or Justin Bieber lesbian-style haircuts. And maybe, I don't know, these hot lesbians could have begun stripping each other's clothes off. Just a thought.

Day 3 of the draft sucks in terms of how ESPN and NFL Network present it in conjunction with how the NFL operates it. The problem with the third day of the draft is that the selections are announced so quickly that the broadcasting partners fall behind almost instantly. They barely get any time to talk about the picks. They have to do them in bunches in between their meaningless interviews with various NFL coaches and general managers.

Here's the solution, though NFL commissioner Roger Goodell won't ever read this because he's too busy having people kiss the ring on his finger: Extend the NFL Draft to four days. Slow down the selections. Make each pick seem much more meaningful. Allow the ESPN and NFL Network analysts to discuss what each team should do before every draft choice. Have those same analysts grade every single pick like I did on my NFL Draft Grades page.

I think I speak for everyone when I say that we don't need more boring interviews with a confused-looking Tom Coughlin, or a Hawaiian shirt-wearing Andy Reid. The people watching Day 3 of the draft are hardcore fans. They don't care about cookie-cutter interviews or features on how great Mel Kiper's hair is, and quite frankly, it's an insult that ESPN makes its viewers flip over to ESPN2 halfway through. I permanently moved to NFL Network because I was so disgusted.




2. Hannah Davis - If you didn't read my live draft blog, you missed out me ranting and raving about how hot Hannah Davis is. I mentioned multiple times that I couldn't concentrate when her commercial popped up on TV. Here's one of them, if you haven't seen any yet...



In another article I published that weekend, I proclaimed Hannah Davis to be one of the five hottest women I've ever seen - you can tell how distracted I was - but I heard some terrible news about her that following Monday. Pardon the Interruption mentioned that it was her 25th birthday, and in doing so, they noted how lucky Derek Jeter is for dating her.

And that's when my infatuation with Hannah Davis came to an abrupt end. A friend of mine joked that Jeter gave her the "herp." I'm sure he gave her much more than that, as his collection of STDs has to be quite impressive. Any man who bangs Hannah Davis after Jeter will now need a Hazmat suit - though wearing one while having sex with her could still be worth it.


3. Horse Racing Sucks - I never get how people can bet on horse racing. I mean, if you're doing a $5 or $10 pool, that's fine, but there are individuals out there who attempt to make a living by betting on the ponies.

I think that's insane. Horses are dumb animals that s*** all over the place. They probably don't even know that they're in a race, so doesn't it seem stupid to wager hard-earned money on them? I bet enough cash on dumb mammals when I lose countless hundreds on NFL games, so I don't need to get into horse racing.

The actual horse-racing events suck, too. I never know which horse is which, and it's lame that the horses change every year. I feel like it would be better that if horse racing were like college sports; some horses could stick around for four years, so we could root for them for an extended period of time. The Kentucky Derby could also be conducted in a bracket format. Maybe four horses could race each other, and then another four, and another four, and so on, and then the winners battle the following weekend, or something.

I feel like that would be more exciting. I bet Brady would even buy into it. Maybe he'd even celebrate by donning a more eccentric outfit.


4. Boxing Sucks More - I never understood the point of boxing. Why does it matter who happens to be the best fighter in the world? Unless you plan on going to random bars and starting brawls, it has no application to real life. In fact, if you punch anyone, they could easily sue you, and then you'll be as broke as Mike Tyson.

Boxing made more sense years ago - back when a**hole lawyers weren't around. You could hit other dudes for the right to bang their women. Life was great back then. Unfortunately, things have changed, and our world is now run by new-age hippie douche bags who do nothing but sit on Twitter and just wait to find things that offend them. If we could put all of these f***tards on a rocket ship and blast it toward the sun, the world would be a better place. But nooooo... can't do that because scumbag lawyers won't allow it.

Being the best fighter just doesn't mean anything anymore. In fact, they could hold a competition for douchiest tweets posted in a 3-minute span, and it would hold more relevance to our everyday world. Imagine this match...

@hipsterlatte: @walterfootball wrote about Toby Gerhart hours after Peterson's son went 2 hospital. He's evil! Unfollow him!

@starbucksenthusiast: Someone on tv just refered to a Korean as "Asian!" Inappropriate! Spend all ur energy flaming him!"

Can we just send these a**hats to the sun already and be done with them?

Anyway, the other reason boxing sucks is that there is no clear-cut winner. We saw this last Saturday night. Pacquiao and Mayweather just danced around because the latter is a giant p***y, and no one was knocked out. Mayweather was declared the winner, but was he really victorious? If you say yes, then why? He didn't put Pacquiao on the ground. Boxing should be infinite rounds until someone goes down. Having judges score it makes it seem like other stupid, corrupt sports, such as diving and figure skating. Those "sports" at least can't be decided like boxing.

As far as I'm concerned, Pacquiao and Mayweather tied, and no one can convince me otherwise. The winners of the fight were those who didn't shell out $100 to watch it.






5. Floyd Mayweather is a Giant P***y - If you don't know the story behind Pacquiao and Mayweather, the latter refused to fight for years, always making excuses, because he was too scared to fight Pacquiao in his prime. Pacquiao, now old, isn't nearly as good as he once was. Thus, Mayweather finally agreed to the match.

As mentioned, Mayweather didn't even try to brawl with Pacquiao. He just danced around and avoided punches for most of the evening. Despite Pacquiao being old, Mayweather was scared for one simple reason: Pacquiao had a nut sack. It's true. Mayweather, for those of you who don't know, is a serial woman-beater. He didn't do it just once in an accidental, drunken rage; this is something he's guilty of quite frequently. If you have boobs and a vagina, and you're smaller than Mayweather - unlike those hairy-armpit lesbians I mentioned earlier - Mayweather will not be afraid to fight you.

(To be fair, while Mayweather would cower at the sight of hairy-armpit lesbians, I would too.)

Mayweather is black, so naturally, race-baiting tool Stephen A. Smith came to his defense, proclaiming anyone - even women - who bashed Mayweather for beating females was just "jealous."

If you're unfamiliar with Smith, consider yourself lucky. He's easily one of the worst human beings on the planet. He's horrific at his job, as I have never learned a single thing from reading one of his articles or hearing him rant incoherently on TV. In fact, when I was interning at the West Chester Daily Local 10 years ago, the editor there told me stories about Smith from when he used to work at the Philadelphia Inquirer. He said that he and his colleagues used to pray that Smith would send his articles in on time because they were so grammatically inept that it was nearly impossible to edit them in a limited amount of time.

ESPN now pays Smith $3 million a year, so I guess Smith, if he had the mental capacity to read an article like this, would call me a racist or accuse me of being jealous of him. I am neither racist nor jealous; I'm just flabbergasted that ESPN would effectively burn $3 million every single year to pay that moron. I understand that a big corporation like ESPN has to comply with certain quotas, and hiring mentally challenged individuals is a requirement; but there are other mentally challenged individuals more deserving of Smith's post, and I'm sure they would accept a lot less money.

ESPN, however, doesn't give two s***s about integrity. They promoted Pacquiao-Mayweather so heavily that I'm sure even the greatest boxing enthusiasts grew fatigued of their coverage. ESPN glorified both fighters, seldom mentioning that Mayweather loves to beat women for fun - even if it's in front of his very own children.

That wasn't part of ESPN's narrative, after all. If they stood to gain no profit from the fight, they would have discussed how much of a scumbag Mayweather is. But they were unwilling to do that because it affected the bottom line. So, instead of taking a noble stance against a disgusting human being, they allowed someone nearly as repulsive to interview Mayweather and then accuse good people of being jealous.

I'm beginning to think that ESPN employees should be on that rocket ship instead of douchey tweeters.


6. Stephen A. Smith is a Horrible Human Being - I need to stress this as much as possible. Stephen A. Smith needs to be the first person on that sun-bound rocket ship. He epitomizes everything that is wrong with humanity, so the world would be a better place without him.

If you didn't hear Smith's latest rant, look at this tweet of his:

"Lesean McCoy is saying nothing different from what I already told you before about feelings towards Chip Kelly."

Smith is referring to McCoy's opinion that Kelly is racist because he got rid of all the talented, black players on the Eagles.

Both Smith and McCoy are f***tards. Accusing someone of being racist is serious business, and if I were Kelly, I'd consider suing both of them. Smith and McCoy would have to come up with proof that Kelly is actually racist, so let's see...

  • Kelly got rid of DeSean Jackson, who is black, and then spent a first-round pick on receiver Nelson Agholor, who is black.

  • Kelly traded McCoy, who is black, but found a replacement running back in DeMarco Murray, who is black.

  • Kelly refused to pay Jeremy Maclin lots of money - he's black - but instead spent that cash on cornerback Byron Maxwell, who is black.

    Yup, lots of racism going on there!

    Smith is a race-baiting turd, and McCoy is learning from him. Smith, after all, is a great role model for the mentally limited, as they get to hear him on TV and eventually learn that for $3 million per year, they too can go on television and talk about how good people are either racist or jealous.

    But this is the world we live in now - which is why we need to get that rocket fueled up as soon as possible.

    LOADING COMMENTS...



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    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 30, 2013: The Philadelphia Writers' Conference
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 23, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 3: Return of Soulless-Eye Lady
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 16, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 2: Confrontation Friday
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 9, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 1: Windows 8 and the Geek Squad
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 2, 2013: Jerks of the WalterFootball.com Forum Party
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 26, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 3: Lots of Hot Chicks
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 19, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 2: Eternal Life
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 12, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 1: The Drowning Fat Man
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 5, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 4 - The Strange Woman Who Wanted to Give Me Head
    Jerks of the Week - July 29, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 3 - The Serial Killer and the Dance-Bang Girl
    Jerks of the Week - July 22, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 2 - First Beach Day and Two Nights Out
    Jerks of the Week - July 15, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 1 - Jerks at the Airport
    Jerks of the Week - July 8, 2013: Master Zumba Invitation & Female Stalkers
    Jerks of the Week - July 1, 2013: Jerks of Election Day - Damsel in Distress
    Jerks of the Week - June 24, 2013: Attack of the White Trash Brigade
    Jerks of the Week - June 17, 2013: Emmitt Smith Reviews Game of Thrones and Other Shows
    Jerks of the Week - June 10, 2013: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
    Jerks of the Week - June 3, 2013: The People We Saw at Kenny's
    Jerks of the Week - May 27, 2013: Jerks of the May 18 Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - May 20, 2013: Internet Idiots II
    Jerks of the Week - May 13, 2013: Sunday Shopping
    Jerks of the Week - May 6, 2013: Jerks of the Housewarming Party
    Jerks of the Week - April 29, 2013: Hot Tub Adventures
    Jerks of the Week - April 22, 2013: Jerks of Saladworks
    Jerks of the Week - April 15, 2013: Jerks of New Computer Day
    Jerks of the Week - April 8, 2013: Jerks of Walnut Grove
    Jerks of the Week - April 1, 2013: April Fools and April Truths
    Jerks of the Week - March 25, 2013: It's Not Complicated AT&T Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2013: My Second Stalker, Jerks of the Old Gym Pool & Locker Room
    Jerks of the Week - March 11, 2013: Blizzard of 2013
    Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2013: Jerks of Tulane
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2013: Jerks of New Orleans
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2013: Jerks of Philadelphia International Airport
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2013: Jerks of Bowling Night
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2013: Jerks of Tango: Where They'll Be in 2020
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2013: One Final Night at Tango
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
    Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
    Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
    Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
    Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
    Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
    Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
    Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
    Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
    Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
    Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
    Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
    Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
    Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
    Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
    Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
    Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
    Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
    Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
    Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
    Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
    Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
    Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
    Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
    Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
    Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
    Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
    Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
    Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
    Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
    Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
    Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
    Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
    Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
    Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
    Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
    Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
    Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
    Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
    Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
    Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
    Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
    Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
    Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
    Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
    Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
    Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
    Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
    Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
    Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
    Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
    Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
    Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
    Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
    Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
    Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
    Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
    Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
    Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
    Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
    Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
    Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
    Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
    Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
    Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
    Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
    Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
    Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
    Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
    Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
    Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
    Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
    Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
    Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
    Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
    Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
    Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
    Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
    Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
    Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
    Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
    Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
    Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




    NFL Picks - Nov. 19


    2018 NFL Mock Draft - Nov. 16


    2019 NFL Mock Draft - Oct. 20


    Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 6


    2018 NBA Mock Draft - Aug. 23


    NFL Power Rankings - May 5









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