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Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010




Jerks of the Week for June 28, 2010


JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Geriatrics at the Gym

If you've been reading Jerks of the Week for a while, you know how unbelievably awesome my gym is. From the lack of hot females, to the old naked guys walking around the locker room with their balls flailing everywhere, to the basketball courts that are rented out by communist soccer players, my gym is just packed things that make for great writing material.

As you may also know, I only go to this gym because of my friends and the fact that it's the only facility in the area that has a regulation-sized swimming pool. I like to swim because it's a great way to keep in shape. Unfortunately, my gym rents out the pool during the summer to snobby campers who poop and pee everywhere, leaving the members only one hour on Friday (11:45-12:45) to work out.

Fine. Whatever. Going to the gym at an inconvenient time once a week is no big deal. Or so I thought. When I stepped out of the locker room Friday morning (shielding my eyes from all the old-man balls of course), I was awestruck when I looked at the pool.

There were old people everywhere. And I'm not just talking about a couple of dozen old people. I'm talking like 60-70 geriatrics literally stacked on top of each other. Have you ever seen those movies that portray hell and have shots of people piled on top of each other reaching out for help? That's seriously what it looked like.

It took me about five minutes, but I finally picked out a lane with only six old people swimming in it. And I'm using the term "swimming" very loosely. Some of them were actually moving, but others were literally just floating there. I wasn't even sure if they were alive. The lifeguard didn't seem to care; she was more concerned with painting her toenails.

About half an hour later, I completed the most frustrating mile of my life. The 80-year-old men who were actually moving in my lane would just suddenly stop and talk to each other (probably asking where and who they are). Old Russian ladies constantly yelled at me for making too much "splishy splashy." Evading all of the Band-Aids, loose hairs and old-man skin was really annoying. But navigating through all the floating, rotting corpses in my lane was probably the toughest part.

At 12:45, the lifeguard chick told us to get out of the pool. Everyone obeyed, begrudgingly, except for this fat man who flopped down the pool staircase and just sat there for three minutes as the lifeguard shrugged her shoulders in confusion. Once those three minutes passed, the fat man rolled out of the pool and into the locker room.

Before I went to get changed (and subject myself to more old-man balls), I spotted my friend Gina, who runs the pool on weekdays. We were just talking, when a butch lady strolled out of the women's locker room. This lady, perhaps Zangief's mother, looked like she hunted bears in her day. She was wearing this awkward baby-blue bikini that made me gag because she had a gut. At any rate, the following conversation ensued:

Zangief's Mom: Oh iz pool closed? Can I svim just five minutes?

Gina: No, the pool is closed.

Zangief's Mom: Please, just four minute?

Gina: No, the pool is closed.

Zangief's Mom: OK fine, tree minute?

Gina: No, the pool is closed.

Zangief's Mom: Just two minute. I svim very fest (unlikely).

Gina: No, the pool is closed.

Zangief's Mom: I svim just six minute, bop ee bop and I done?

Gina: No, the pool is closed.

Zangief's mom eventually gave up. I don't know why she went from two to six minutes, but I guess that's how bear hunters negotiate.

At any rate, after praising Gina for laying down the law, I went into the locker room and then into the steam room. There was an old Russian guy in there wearing a weird-looking flower hat (not that there's anything wrong with that). As soon as I sat down, he began complaining about the pool hours.

"It gets verse every year. First zey give us tree hours, iz OK. Then two hours, iz bad. Now only one hours. Zey don't care about members. Zey... zey... spy on us. Like pwuh!"

"Zey spy on us?" Something obviously was lost in translation. I tried my hardest not to laugh when he said that. I know he meant "zey spit on us," but I don't know where spy came from.

As his rant was over, Zangief's mom stormed into the steam room. She started yelling at me until I assured her that I wasn't working at the gym. Like Russian Flower Hat Man, Zangief's mom went on a long rant about the gym.

"Vee need to make some noise and complain to director of club. If nasing happen, vee vill unplug refrigerator (I think that's what she said) and then unplug every day! Vee all need to do zis!"

Hear that, gym? The old people are going to revolt and unplug your refrigerators every day! And who knows, maybe they'll actually do this quickly instead of just floating around and looking dead.






JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 2: Carmen the Customer Service Rep

Speaking of refrigerators, Sears has really been pissing me off. I'm moving into a new house, so I bought a new refrigerator, washer and dryer last Sunday. The guy who sold those appliances to me was pretty helpful and even gave me some discounts I wasn't even aware of.

However, for the past five days, Sears has repeatedly called me for directions to my house. What's so bad about that? Well, they keep calling before 11 a.m., and I'm never up that early (I work late updating this site). They keep leaving the same message, and it's the same woman each time. At this point, if you're that chick (who sounded kinda hot), wouldn't you think to call at a different time instead of between 10:20 and 10:45 every single day?

The hot Sears chick did leave a number, so I called it on Tuesday. After pressing a long series of buttons (do we really need an English-Espanol option?) I was finally connected to a human being. I knew I was in trouble though when the lady answered, "Hello dis iz Carmen how may I asseest you senor ariba ariba?"

OK, she didn't say "senor" or "ariba," but she had this super Spanish accent that was difficult to understand. Unfortunately, she couldn't comprehend what I was saying either, and it took me about 10 minutes to explain that I needed to give Sears directions to my house.

Carmen: What city is your house in senor?

Me: Feasterville, Pennsylvania.

Carmen: Ah is zis in New Jerrzey?

Me: No, it's in Pennsylvania.

Carmen: Ah si and what intersection iz it near?

Me: Well, you drive down Bustleton Avenue until...

Carmen: Did you say Buffalo?

Me: No, Bustleton.

Carmen: Can you spell zis Buffleton street senor?

** Frustrated because it's one of the largest streets in Northeast Philly. **

Me: B-U-S-T-L-E-T-O-N

Carmen: B-U-F-T?

Me: B-U-S-T...

Carmen: Ah senor, we are having problems, can you give phone number so we can call back?

So, I gave Carmen my phone number, but Sears has since continuously called during that 10:20-10:45 window. And I'm reluctant to call myself because I don't want to get trapped into another conversation with Carmen again.

Seriously, if you're going to hire someone to help on the phone, wouldn't you at least make sure they speak English somewhat well? Shouldn't that be some sort of requirement?

I can almost hear the artsy-fartsy new-age hippies yelling, "It's America, she doesn't have to learn English!" after reading that previous sentence, but that's just silly and naive. If you're going to work as a customer service rep over the phone, you have to be able to communicate with people who call up. You just have to be able to do that. It's in the freaking job description. Does a dental office hire a person who has no idea how to fill cavities? Does a sports network hire an analyst who can't keep himself from butchering the English language every two seconds? Oh wait, ESPN did that with Emmitt Smith.

At any rate, it's Saturday evening as I'm writing this, and I still haven't spoken to a normal person from Sears yet. My delivery is due Tuesday, so it looks like I won't be getting that refrigerator for a while. On the bright side at least, Zangief's mom won't be able to unplug it.




JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 3: Samantha the Shift Manager

If you're unfamiliar with what a Wawa is, it's an awesome convenience store in the Eastern Pennsylvania-New Jersey region. It's basically a 7-11 and a deli combined. They make awesome food, which makes it the ultimate destination for people coming home from a bar at 2 a.m.

Wawa makes its own iced tea, lemonade, fruit punch, etc. and I was in the mood for the latter last Sunday. So, I made the 5-minute car ride over to my local Wawa.

As I parked my car, some idiot driver nearly crashed into me because he for some reason felt the need to cruise through empty parking spaces to get out of the parking lot instead of using the predetermined path they set up for cars. I was already in a bad mood because I just listened to Jay-Z ruin yet another song on the radio (Forever Young), so this just made things worse.

** Side note: I may go into this in more detail in a future Jerks of the Week entry, but Jay-Z absolutely annoys the hell out of me. He's such a talentless hack who has somehow made a living off of taking old songs and making them 100 times worse. There's no plausible reason why he should be successful. Essentially, he's the Keanu Reeves of music. **

However, I forgot all about Jay-Z and his crappy rapping as I entered Wawa and looked at the counter. There hasn't been an attractive worker at this particular Wawa in a few years, but that apparently wasn't the case anymore. The chick working the register was this cute girl with reddish-brown hair and some freckles.

I grabbed my fruit punch and proceeded to the register, opting to get into this chick's line (her nametag read Samantha - shift manager) instead of the old lady's (I've had enough of old people for one week). Unfortunately, I quickly learned that Samantha the Shift Manager's personality didn't even come close to matching her looks...

Me: Hey, how ya doing?

Samantha: Ugh.

Ugh? What did I do to deserve an "ugh?" Did I have a booger on my face?

At any rate, she rang up the fruit punch, and it was $2.02 or $2.03, or something. Don't you hate it when that happens?

Me: Crap, I don't have any pennies on me.

Samantha: Beh.

She actually went "beh" like she didn't care. Most cashiers will just round it down so they don't have to give you 97 or 98 cents in change. But not her royal hotness. I handed her three bucks, and sure enough, she gave me about a dozen coins in return.

Me: I'll see ya later.

Samantha: Blegh.

To summarize, she said three words to me: ugh, beh and blegh. But before you try and console me, know that I'm extremely encouraged. She started with three-letter words early on, but went all the way up to a five-letter word at the end! I'm very confident that soon enough, she'll be saying six-letter words to me. Maybe seven if I'm lucky.



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Jerk of the Year - April 1, 2014: How I Met Your Mother Finale
Jerks of the Week - March 31, 2014: April Fools and April Truths II
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Jerks of the Week - Jan. 27, 2014: Just Wright
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Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2013: My Second Stalker, Jerks of the Old Gym Pool & Locker Room
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Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
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Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
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Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
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Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
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Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
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Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




NFL Picks - Oct. 30


2015 NFL Mock Draft - Oct. 29


Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 5


2016 NFL Mock Draft - July 24


2015 NBA Mock Draft - July 1


NFL Free Agents





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