Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2017





Jerks of the Week: Jan. 2, 2017


JERK OF THE WEEK: Self-Entitled Douche Bag Kids

If people were smart enough to elect me President of the United States, I believe I would make all the smart choices. I'd create jobs, end all homelessness and deport anyone who annoyed me. I would take all the necessary measures to ensure that the United States remains the best country in the world.

However, just as I imagine myself to be the second-best president of all time - after David Palmer, of course - I think of this scenario: All of the living five-star generals lead me to a room with two buttons. One button says: "Nuke all of the terrorists." The other button says, "Nuke all self-entitled, spoiled, douche-bag children." The generals look at me and say, "You can only push one button because we only have enough nukes to get rid of one particular group." And that's when I'd realize I don't want to be president anymore.

I imagine that would be quite the pickle. It honestly would be a very difficult decision, and I'd have to think deeply of the repercussions of allowing the group I don't nuke to live. However, every time I run that scenario through my head, I ultimately do the same thing. I make the right choice.

I nuke all of the self-entitled, spoiled, douche-bag children.

Now, if you disagree with me, that means one of two things: 1) You were a self-entitled, spoiled, douche-bag child who has grown up, or 2) You happen to be a parent of a self-entitled, spoiled, douche-bag child who happens to be in favor of giving out participation trophies. If it's the latter, congratulations on being an utterly s***ty parent!

I'd like to share a story with you. I went to the gym for one of my Saturday, mile-long swims. There was one person in each lane, but as I was stretching, the guy in one particular lane looked at me and said, "I'm done in two laps."

Awesome, I thought. By the time I was finished stretching, he'd be done his workout, and I could hop into a lane by myself.

As he pushed off the wall, two girls emerged from the women's locker room. They were teeny-bopper chicks who couldn't have been older than 12 or 13. They were both wearing bikinis, so they obviously weren't there for a serious workout; it's likely that they came to the gym with one of their parents, who told them to go mess around in the pool.

And mess around in the pool they did, but not before pilfering my lane. As the guy got out of the pool, the two girls hopped into that lane just as I was about to. I was pissed.

"Hey, I was about to get into that lane," I said, clearly frustrated.

The two girls just laughed and began splashing each other.

Whatever. I jumped into their lane with the intention of bulldozing through them if they got in my way. They finally acknowledged me.

Teeny Bopper: Hey, this is our lane, you can't be in here!

Me: The guy told me I could use this after he was done, so I was waiting for him to get out before you got in here.

Teeny Bopper: Well, there's two of us, and only one of you, so go use another lane!

What the f*** is this? What did she mean "our lane?" and "there's two of us, and only one of you?" How does that logic hold up? Does that mean if I showed up with five of my buddies to an amusement park, we could cut in front of everyone by shouting, "There's six of us, and only one of you!?"

Fortunately, I didn't have to fight about it because an old man in the adjacent lane somehow escaped death and managed to complete his swim, so I was able to work out there. Still, it pissed me off that they felt like it was their right to occupy that particular lane without even asking me, since it was clear that I was waiting for the person in there to get out of the pool.

The good news in all of this is that the teeny boppers got what was coming to them. Some fit-looking dude who was about 17 or 18 showed up, and he jumped into my lane when I was done. The girls were clearly smitten with him, and they bombarded him with questions, preventing him from getting in a workout. Eventually one of the teeny boppers grabbed the other by the hand and screeched, "I have to go to the bathroom!" so they both raced into the locker room. The dude looked at some random guy in the next lane and said, "Thank God they're gone, they're so f***ing annoying."

If only I planted a tape recorder there. I would've played it for the teeny boppers after they came back to the pool, and then I would have licked the tears off their faces in Eric Cartman-type fashion.

Come to think of it, who the hell needs a nuke when you can just make these a**hole kids cry?




The reason I'm writing about self-entitled douche bag kids is because of two particular commercials that have aired recently. If you watch TV at all, you've definitely seen them, and if you agree that self-entitled douche bag kids should be nuked, you've undoubtedly noticed how utterly unbearable these ads have been.

The first is an Xfinity commercial where some 14-year-old girl whines about going to her grandparents' house for Christmas. She calls it the "gates of hell" because her grandparents don't have the Internet or Cable television, so she anticipates that it's going to be incredibly boring.

Here's the commercial in case you haven't seen it:



This is extended from the regular TV ad, which starts at about the 23-second mark.

First of all, before we get to the crux of this abomination of a commercial, I have to wonder how the two grandparents even saw her tweet. They had no wi-fi in their house prior to reacting to this, so how were they even able to see what she was typing online in the first place?

Second, I can't believe Comcast would have the audacity to air something like this. It's absolutely ridiculous how spoiled this tw*t is. What, she can't spend a nice Christmas evening at her grandparents' house without "wi-fi or shows?" Can't she go one night without "wi-fi or shows?" Whenever I went to my grandparents' house as a kid, I had a blast. They didn't have cable, and the only thing they watched on TV was Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune, and my grandma would always marvel at the dresses Vanna White would wear. Otherwise, I played chess with my grandpa and ate delicious pound cake my grandma made, and I had a blast, all while gaining 500 pounds.

It also pisses me off that this tw*t's grandparents went out of their way to appease their spoiled brat of granddaughter. I wouldn't have done anything. In fact, if I were her grandparents, I'd be so spiteful that I go in the complete opposite direction. I'd temporarily get rid of all my electricity and force this skank to farm random things and then eat wheat by candlelight during dinner time. Take that, you f***ing b***h!

"Off to Grandmas. Off the grid. Pray for me *stupid emoji*"

What a whore.

By the way, what is going on at the 1:19 mark? Who is she waving at? Is that a girl or a boy? I can't tell. These stupid, damn self-entitled kids with their funky hairdos nowadays make it impossible to distinguish their gender.

Last thing: The bit at 1:43 pisses me off as well. I love how this a**hole girl tells her grandma to look at a young picture of herself on the phone when she could just do so in, you know, the actual f***ing picture of herself she has on her mantle!

"You got a 100 likes."

"No!"

"Just kidding, there's only five."

Wow. That's pretty damn mean. First of all, grandma probably doesn't know what a "like" is in reference to, and second, why would she tease her grandma by initially telling her that so many people like her old photo, only to break her grandma's spirit by informing her only five people like it? If I were her grandma, I would've slapped her across the face and replied, "I don't care how many of your f***ing loser friends like my picture!"

I actually can't wait to be a grandparent just so I can do this.






As bad as that Xfinity commercial was, it's not even close to being as brutal as the one where a kid makes his dad drive in heavy snow just so he can go out on a date. Yeah, that one. If you haven't seen it, you're in for a real treat:



I can't believe the audacity this self-entitled pr**k kid has to make his father drive in the snow just so he can see a movie with his girlfriend. I mean, we're not just talking about flurries, here. The dad says, "It sure is coming down," and the snow is already up to the damn windows of this house:



The boy comes into the living room and tells his dad he's ready. The dad laughs, obviously taken aback that his son doesn't care about the conditions. He asks, "Have you looked outside?" and there even seems to be some fear in his voice. And yet, all this douche kid can do is shrug his shoulders like some self-entitled POS.

One of two underrated parts of this commercials comes next, when this man's "loving" wife says, "Take him," as she's comfortably reading a book on the couch. Why don't you take him, you a**hole? You're the one who thinks it's OK to drive in a freaking blizzard! I'm willing to bet that this skank of a woman wants this man to die so she can collect his life insurance, all while continuing to bang the mailman.

The second underrated part of this commercial is the line of text at the bottom of the screen at the 22-second mark: "Professional driver on closed course."

Yeah. It's that bad outside. And yet, this self-entitled douche kid is making his dad drive him on a date, when he could probably just see this girl at school once it re-opens. Or, I don't know, he could just f***ing call or Skype her!

"Sure is coming down."

"She'll be there."

Oh, OK. If I were his dad...

"Glad she'll be there? Glad she'll be there!? What about our safety, you self-entitled piece of s**t!?"

Anyway, I love how "Cineplex" is so empty that the dad can just park right in front of it. Why is this place even open? And how did the workers of Cineplex even get there? Did their suicidal fathers drive them there in Mercedes vehicles as well?

The look on this kid's face at the 56-mark is priceless. He thinks his skank of a girlfriend didn't show up, and now he's all upset. In fact, he's so distraught that he doesn't even want to wait to see if she arrives late. I don't know why he gives up so quickly. Better yet, if she didn't make it, why not just see a movie with your dad? You're both there anyway. If I were this kid's father, I'd be pretty pissed that my ungrateful son would rather just go home than see a movie with me.

Well, the girl finally shows up, just as he's about to leave, and the two go into the theater together. Aww, that's cute. Except... what the hell happened to the dad? Does he have to drive home, and then back, and then home again? He's surely going to crash his car on one of those three trips, right? Or, is he waiting around? If so, why isn't he going into the theater to watch another movie? Is he climbing into one of the cars with this girl's mom to bang her? I mean, that's perfectly OK, since his wife is already cheating on him and praying for his demise. Why not get a little side action for risking your life just to appease your self-entitled spoiled brat of a son?

Ugh, I don't know anymore. How did we come to this as a society? I feel like we need to stop giving kids participation trophies that tell them it's OK to be pedestrian, and instead, teach them proper manners. Hey, a**hole kids, how about you not refer to your grandparent's house as the "gates of hell," and how about you not force your poor dad to risk his life just you can watch some stupid movie with Sally Snowflake?

How about some decency for a change? "Hey, grandma's house doesn't have wi-fi, but that's OK because I never get to see my grandparents, and it still should be fun." Or, "Hey, dad, we shouldn't go to Cineplex because it's really coming down outside, and I don't want to risk your life going on some stupid date, and I'm too young to even get my wang sucked through the tub of popcorn." Or, "Hey, fat man, you can use the lane you were planning to jump into, and it doesn't matter if there are two of us and only one of you."

Unfortunately, that's not the world we live in right now. We do, however, have nukes, and I hope Donald Trump uses them appropriately.

LOADING COMMENTS...



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Jerks of the Week - July 29, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 3 - The Serial Killer and the Dance-Bang Girl
Jerks of the Week - July 22, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 2 - First Beach Day and Two Nights Out
Jerks of the Week - July 15, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 1 - Jerks at the Airport
Jerks of the Week - July 8, 2013: Master Zumba Invitation & Female Stalkers
Jerks of the Week - July 1, 2013: Jerks of Election Day - Damsel in Distress
Jerks of the Week - June 24, 2013: Attack of the White Trash Brigade
Jerks of the Week - June 17, 2013: Emmitt Smith Reviews Game of Thrones and Other Shows
Jerks of the Week - June 10, 2013: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - June 3, 2013: The People We Saw at Kenny's
Jerks of the Week - May 27, 2013: Jerks of the May 18 Wedding
Jerks of the Week - May 20, 2013: Internet Idiots II
Jerks of the Week - May 13, 2013: Sunday Shopping
Jerks of the Week - May 6, 2013: Jerks of the Housewarming Party
Jerks of the Week - April 29, 2013: Hot Tub Adventures
Jerks of the Week - April 22, 2013: Jerks of Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - April 15, 2013: Jerks of New Computer Day
Jerks of the Week - April 8, 2013: Jerks of Walnut Grove
Jerks of the Week - April 1, 2013: April Fools and April Truths
Jerks of the Week - March 25, 2013: It's Not Complicated AT&T Commercials
Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2013: My Second Stalker, Jerks of the Old Gym Pool & Locker Room
Jerks of the Week - March 11, 2013: Blizzard of 2013
Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2013: Jerks of Tulane
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2013: Jerks of New Orleans
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2013: Jerks of Philadelphia International Airport
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2013: Jerks of Bowling Night
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2013: Jerks of Tango: Where They'll Be in 2020
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2013: One Final Night at Tango
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




NFL Picks - Nov. 19


2018 NFL Mock Draft - Nov. 16


2019 NFL Mock Draft - Oct. 20


Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 6


2018 NBA Mock Draft - Aug. 23


NFL Power Rankings - May 5









 





 

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