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Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2013




Jerks of the Week for Jan. 28, 2013


JERK OF THE WEEK: One Final Night at Tango

It saddens me to tell you this, but Tango, my favorite bar, has closed. I've been going to Tango for nearly a decade, and I've written about many a jerk from there over the years, but the bar down the block from my house closed its doors for the final time last Saturday night.

I interviewed a 34-year-old bartender who had been working there since his early 20s. He told me there were five reasons why Tango lost a ton of business over the years. The first is unfortunate, as the owner's 40-year-old daughter passed away suddenly. The other four angered me:

1. Parx Casino: I've always hated Parx Casino. That place ruined my New Year's Eve three years ago, and I had a terrible time there last December when a Jersey Shore waiter constantly harassed me into doing shots. Oh, and then there was the highly offensive sign outside of the club in the casino:



No colors, eh? I guess Club 360 is the home of the Aryan brotherhood or something, but no matter - I'm sure the ghost of Martin Luther King Jr. will come into the owner's home one night and strangle him.

The Parx patrons also bother me. They're just zombies who sit at slot machines and mindlessly pull levers back and forth. I'm not against gambling because I feel like people should have the freedom to whatever they want, but it's just depressing to see these half-animated corpses rotting away in front of the machines.

Parx ruined two of my nights over the past three years, so it wasn't a big deal until now - because Parx is one of the reasons why Tango is finished. Parx is about a 5-minute drive from Tango if there's no traffic, so people just decided to go there instead. And why not? Drinks are cheap or free if you're near the gambling areas, plus the place never closes. And for those who like the bar scene, there are actual bars in Parx.

Oh, and there are also so many more people there, so there's a better chance of scoring with a hot individual of the opposite sex, rather than a biker who looks like Santa Claus (not that there's anything wrong with that).

2. Bands: I hate bands. They're loud and obnoxious. They play crappy music that only sounds good to drunken people. And they're apparently expensive.

Tango's bartender told me that his bar couldn't lure in any quality bands because they all cost too much. They apparently used to be cheaper, but Parx has been paying the good bands tons of money to play there.

No more bands meant no more girls because girls apparently follow bands wherever they go. No more girls meant no more guys because guys follow girls wherever they go. No more guys meant no more money for the bar.

I'll never understand why girls follow bands anyway. Like I said, they play terrible music. Plus, they're way too loud. I want to actually talk at a bar; not have my ears bleed upon hearing a crappy cover of a crappy Maroon 5 song.

3. DUI Laws: Tango, which used to be known as Whiskey Tango and then was known as Philly Four and then JC Washington's House, was a huge bar when I turned 21. Everyone went there; it was the place to be in Northeast Philly. My friends and I used to drive 10 minutes just to go there almost every weekend. Now, apparently no one wants to drive there.

The bartender told me that dropping the Pennsylvania DUI limit to .08 was a big factor in the bar's decline, as younger people opted to stay more local. I don't know what it driving limit used to be, but unless you're an a**hole member of MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving), I think you'll agree that the .08 limit is too low.

According to a blood-alcohol calculator I found online, I'd be at .081 if I had six beers over three hours. That's nothing. I've consumed way more than that amount in that span, and I've been completely coherent. This may anger the idiots associated with MADD (who won't admit that there are five times more drunk walking accidents than drunk driving ones, per Freakonomics), but I say that the limit should be raised back to what it was. I don't know what it was, but 0.8 sounds more reasonable than 0.08. I feel like I could drive perfectly well at 0.8***.

***Side note: I feel like I should say that the stupid BAC calculator I found doesn't calculate anything over 0.5 for some reason. The best I could do is 24 beers in three hours, which is 0.47. However, when I input 22 beers in one hour, I get 0.46. So, I can drink 22 beers in one hour, and then two more beers over the next two hours and be even drunker than I was before? That makes no sense. I feel like the MADD a**holes are manipulating the BAC calculator.

At any rate, these previous three factors are why most bars in this area are losing money. "If you gave me a million dollars, I would not open a bar in Northeast Philly," the bartender said. Of course, there's yet another reason why Tango failed...

4. Weird People: The bartender conceded that normal people who went to Tango were weirded out by some of the regulars. He wouldn't name any names, but I've definitely written about some strange Tango patrons over the years, including...

  • Kissy Man and the Jealous Mexican - A weirdo who creeped out a songstress by blowing kisses at her, and a Mexican who was jealous of this.

  • Cornrow Cigarette Man - A black guy who harassed everyone for cigarettes.

  • John Lennon - A guy who looked like John Lennon.

  • Drunken Santa Claus - An old biker sporting a Santa Claus beard who happens to test jets for a living.
  • The Mongolians - Mongolians who invaded Tango.

  • Smelly Cougar - A stinky woman in her 40s desperate to bang anyone.

  • The Blondtender (the fact that she was fired) - A blonde bartender who raped me with a cucumber.

  • Melvis and Slav... and Frederico - Two Russian creepers who touched girls' boobs and their fat friend.

  • Tango Stalker - A creepy guy who stalked girls and made Alan Rickman impressions for me in the bathroom.

  • Christmas Tree Man - A guy who complimented my friend Adrienne by saying that she looked like a Christmas tree.

  • Racist KKK Bikers - Douche bags who nearly jumped my friend Josh because they thought he was Jewish when he wouldn't give them money.

  • Drunkest Woman Ever - An incredibly intoxicated woman who charged $1.75 for blowjobs in the parking lot.

    With weirdos like that hanging around the bar, it's no wonder that normal people went elsewhere. I may eventually do a future "where are they now?" entry about these strange people, but I want to concentrate on Tango's final night this week.

    Unfortunately, aside from Santa Claus, none of those aforementioned weirdos were at Tango on its final night. This greatly disappointed me. I figured there would be some sort of big farewell, with all of the former characters coming back like in a series finale of a long-running TV show, but that just didn't happen. I did, however, find some new jerks.


    1. Bongo Bongo

    I walked into the bar for one final time Saturday night. After saying hi to everyone, I asked my friend Glimmer if there were any jerks worth writing about.

    Glimmer: Well, there are those idiot guys at the punching bag game.

    Me: What'd they do?

    Glimmer: They hit on me outside when my boyfriend was with me.

    Me: Oh, hmm... anyone else?

    Glimmer: Santa Claus is here!

    Me: Well, I've written about him before, and unless he has some of the people here sit on his lap, I don't know what I could possibly write about him.

    Glimmer: Uhh... well, the guy in the band is playing the bongos with his drumsticks.

    Glimmer wasn't the only one who noticed this. Several other friends pointed this out to me...

    Body Burner: Walt, did you get my lovely text message?

    Me: No, but let me see... "Pssst, I'm peeing." Haha, awesome.

    Drunken Body Burner: I can't believe the guy in that band is playing the bongos with drumsticks.

    Me: Haha yeah, what an idiot.

    I think about half-a-dozen people commented about this to me - but I didn't quite understand what the big deal was. I know absolutely nothing about bands, but is there some significance to playing bongos with drumsticks? What are you supposed to play bongos with anyway? And I'm not even quite sure what a bongo is. Is it some sort of tiny flask?

    More importantly, why is there even a band out there with a bongo? Were they out of xylophones and triangles? It's sad to see Tango come to this. They used to have big-name bands that played awful music, but the bar closed out with an unknown band that played awful music with bongos.





    2. Age Guesser

    I guess the Bongo Bongo band didn't cost very much because Tango also brought in some sort of fortune teller. Actually, I'm not even sure if the bar paid for this guy, but he bedazzled my friends with his divination skills.

    I was playing pool when my friends called both me and Body Burner over. They were standing with some guy with long hair.

    Jamie: This guy can guess your exact age! He's guessed everyone's age correctly so far!

    Body Burner: What? No way. How old am I?

    Age Guesser: Hmm... hmm... hmm...

    Age Guesser's eyes quivered wildly. He looked like he was going to have a seizure, but he suddenly stopped shaking and had an answer.

    Age Guesser: You're 24.

    Body Burner: Holy s***, how did you know that?

    Age Guesser: That's what I do.

    Age Guesser just shrugged his shoulders and smiled. He turned toward me.

    Jamie: Try Walt!

    Age Guesser: Hmm... hmm... hmm...

    Once again, Age Guesser's eyes convulsed. It was still very strange, but I was less concerned this time. Not that I would have called an ambulance anyway. Age Guesser once again stopped shaking and presented his response.

    Age Guesser: You're 22.

    All of my friends who knew my exact age suddenly looked dejected. I was happy that he thought I was much younger than I was. I laughed gleefully.

    Me: Ha!

    Age Guesser: Like I said, it's what I do.

    Me: But I'm not 22.

    Age Guesser: Oh, so did you just turn 23? Or are you 21 and about to turn 22?

    Me: No, not even close.

    Age Guesser: What? That can't be. You're 22.

    Me: No way, dude. I wish I were 22.

    Age Guesser: How old are you?

    Me: I'm 30!

    Age Guesser: What? No way. That can't be possible. Show me your driver's license.

    I took my driver's license out of my pocket and handed it to him. He stood there in complete shock with his mouth agape. He stared at it for a good 30 seconds before giving it back to me.

    Age Guesser: I can't... I can't... I can't believe it...

    Me: Yeah, people say that I look young. One of my neighbors thought I was 18.

    Age Guesser: I don't... I don't know... I don't know...

    Age Guesser looked completely defeated. He walked away, slumped down at the bar and ordered a drink. Meanwhile, I was thrilled because the previous night at my cousin's wedding, I told my friend Man-Eaters that my neighbor said I looked 18, but Man-Eaters countered that I look like I'm in the 27-age range. I then argued that I could play a role in a high-school drama.

    Man-Eaters: I'm sorry, but you just can't pass for a high-schooler.

    Me: Yes I can! My neighbor thought I was in high school. If they had a third Beverly Hills 90210 show, I could star as one of the main characters.

    Man-Eaters: No you couldn't.

    Me: Why not? Luke Perry did, and he was a 30-year-old playing a high-school sophomore in the original.

    Man-Eaters: You're not Luke Perry!

    Me: But Luke Perry isn't WalterFootball either!

    I'd say Age Guesser would agree with me. Now, if only he were casting for a new cheesy high-school drama TV show...


    3. The Women

    Remember when I wrote that no bands means no girls? Well that applied Saturday night. Outside of my group, there were hardly any females at Tango. In fact, the last one I saw was when my Asian friend Not Asian Guy spotted this attractive chick sitting by herself at the bar. Not Asian Guy went over to her, but came back looking dejected a couple of minutes later.

    Me: What happened?

    Not Asian Guy: She just wants to sit by herself.

    Me: Really?

    Not Asian Guy: Yeah, she actually said, "I want to be alone and sad."

    The cheerful women at Tango aren't any better. I was playing another game of pool when this individual walked by. It was fat and had short hair. I was instantly confused.

    Me: Hey, is that a guy or a girl?

    Pat: I honestly have no idea.

    Glimmer: It's a girl. Trust me, I know these things.

    Me: Are you sure it's not a eunuch?

    Glimmer: Could be a eunuch, but I'm almost positive it's a girl. Eunuchs would be more muscular.

    Me: But Varys from Game of Thrones isn't muscular!

    Glimmer: Good point.

    Pat: Well, it's walking toward the bathrooms, so we'll know what sex it is based on which door it goes in.

    Sure enough, the eunuch look-alike entered the women's bathroom. Glimmer was right, and I was disappointed that I didn't get to see a eunuch that night. Still, the point is that the recent females we've seen outside of our group have been depressed chicks and strange women who look like they are men without balls. This is what happens when there are no bands.





    4. Age Guesser, Again

    "Bar's closed!" the bartender shouted at 2. My friends started gathering stuff to steal from the bar since it was closing for good. They gathered up a bunch of coasters, but I didn't have anything to take. A friend (I can't remember who because I was too drunk at the time) suggested that I should steal the pool table's eight ball. I thought about it, but then realized that I already have an eight ball for my pool table.

    My friends who hadn't left already were standing outside. Age Guesser was there with them for some reason. He looked unbelievably drunk. When he saw me approach, he gave me a hateful scowl.

    Glimmer: Walt, did you drive here?

    Me: Yeah.

    Glimmer: Damn it, we need someone to drive another car.

    Age Guesser: I'lllll drrriivvee annnutthhhurr carrrr hic!

    Pat: But didn't you drive your car here?

    Age Guesser: Yeeeaahh I ddoroorve mmyy carrr heeere hic!

    Pat: Umm... how are you going to drive two cars?

    Age Guesser: I dunnnooo mannnn I'mmm juuussst goonnn dooo it.

    I love how people get the inspiration to do crazy things when they're drunk, but I don't think I've ever heard of someone attempting to drive two cars at the same time. If he somehow managed to do that and got pulled over, would the cop give him two DUIs? I'd like to know how that would work.

    I guess I'm to blame. I destroyed the man's confidence. I exposed him as a charlatan, which sent him into a drunken stupor. Now, he's going to get an ultra-rare double DUI, all because of me. Well, me and the stupid .08 law that helped destroy Tango.




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    Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
    Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
    Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
    Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
    Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
    Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
    Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
    Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
    Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
    Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
    Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
    Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
    Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
    Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
    Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
    Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
    Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
    Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
    Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
    Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
    Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
    Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
    Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
    Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
    Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
    Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
    Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
    Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
    Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
    Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
    Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
    Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
    Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
    Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
    Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
    Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
    Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
    Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
    Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
    Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
    Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
    Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
    Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
    Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
    Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
    Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
    Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




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    2016 NFL Mock Draft - July 24


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