WalterFootball.com - Detailed NFL Mock Drafts, Player Prospect Rankings, and One of the Largest Mock Draft Databases on the Web

Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012




Jerks of the Week for Jan. 23, 2012


JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Tango

There's something weird going on at my local bar. And no, I'm not talking about how the Racist KKK Bikers shout racial slurs at minorities, or all the random STDs that Drunkest Woman Ever hands out in the parking lot.

The bar used to be called Whiskey Tango. They closed it down in September and reopened it as Philly 4, which was supposed to be more of a sports bar-type scene. That place lasted only three weeks. They closed the bar yet again, and after a 2-month hiatus, it came back as just "Tango."

Confused? Well, so was I, which is why my friends and I wanted to check out the new place to see if it got any better. And it did. We walked in without getting carded or having to pay a cover charge - a reason why Whiskey Tango and Philly 4 failed. They charged $8 and $5, respectively, which was ridiculous because it was trying to act like a hip downtown bar, when it's just a place in Northeast Philly right across the street from the suburbs.

A few thoughts on carding and covers:

1. Carding people is stupid. The drinking age in the U.S. is 18, which, quite frankly, is way too high, but I'm sure the bartenders can decide if someone looks 18 or not. Bartenders are some of the wisest people in the world, so they should have full discretion.

2. Charging covers is stupider. The idea of it is so distasteful to anyone, even the drunkest of people. It's like saying, "Our place is so awesome that we're going to have to ask you for money for the privilege of being in our establishment for a couple of hours." F*** you, douche bags.

3. You know what I would do if I were running a bar? I'd charge people $2 cover, but say that it's all going to hurricane victims, or hungry kids in Africa, South America, or Camden, N.J. People would be down for paying that so they could feel good about themselves. But then, I'd secretly not give the money to anyone and just pocket all the money myself! Muhahahahaha!

4. Whiskey Tango has been charging an $8 cover for years. How the hell did Drunkest Woman Ever afford that, you ask? Well, we need to discover how much she charges for blow jobs in the parking lot to know for sure. You gotta figure that she gets about $1.50 per customer, so did she really give head five-and-one-thirds times each night just to get into the bar? If so, that's some amazing dedication.

Anyway, we all agreed that Tango was better. In addition to not having to pay cover, it was quieter so people could talk. There were also more games available, like darts, video golf and a machine with a speed bag that measured how powerful your punches are. We first noticed the speed bag when a couple of college guys started hitting it.

"I think that machine is a bad idea," I told everyone. "I bet you that's going to lead to a fight."

Sure enough, the two college guys were wrestling on the ground about an hour later. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

As you may guess, these guys weren't the strangest people in the bar. Not even close. We didn't spot Drunkest Woman Ever (she was probably passed out in a ditch somewhere), but we did manage to see Santa Claus.

There was a guy there who looked exactly like Santa. He had the long white hair and beard going, and he was super fat. He was just drinking a beer while sitting by himself at the bar. I had the urge to sit on his lap and tell him what I wanted next Christmas, but this didn't seem like a good idea after the Jerry Sandusky scandal.

There were also weird people coming in and out of the band area. Tango charged $10 entry for this area for people who wanted to see the band. No one in our group was willing to pay $10, but I decided to check it out for Jerks of the Week purposes. After spending five minutes in there, I came back with a full report to my friend A-Team. Unfortunately, my ears were bleeding because it was ridiculously loud in that room.

A-Team: How was it in there?

Me: My ears... my ears... covered in blood... ahhh!!!

A-Team: Is it worth going in?

Me: What? Well, there are some positives and negatives.

A-Team: Like what?

Me: Positive - there's a hot bartender in there.

A-Team: OK?

Me: Negative - there's also a hot bartender in here, thus nullifying the hot bartender in there.

Note: The super-hot bartender in the sports bar area eerily looks like a chick I dated in college. This is yet another reason why Tango is my new favorite bar.

Me: Positive - there's a hot chick swaying back and forth in there.

A-Team: Nice.

Me: Negative - people are just standing around and not doing anything while listening to bad music.

A-Team: So it's not worth the $10?

Me: Not sure. The girl who was swaying back and forth was kinda hot.

Anyway, I did mention that there were weirdoes coming in and out of the band area. One guy shall be referred to as Christmas Tree Man. He was in his late 50s and had tattoos all over his neck. He easily was one of the most disgusting human beings I had ever seen, and it didn't help that he was drunk out of his mind. When he saw my friend Adrienne, he had to say something.

Christmas Tree Man: Yeewww lloookkk lliiikkee a Chrriiisssmuuss treeee hic!

Adrienne: What?

Christmas Tree Man: Yeerr shiiirtt izz alllll spparrrkkkllunnnnn hic!

Adrienne: Oh. Thanks, I guess.

Christmas Tree Man: Yeerr weelllccommmee chirrsssmmuusss trrreee gguuurllll hic!

Adrienne's shirt was a bit sparkly, but it was silver and white, if I remember correctly. There was no green involved, so I don't know why the hell Christmas Tree Man thought she looked like a Christmas tree.

Then again, I should be fair. Christmas Tree Man was probably so perturbed that Drunkest Woman Ever wasn't around to give him a random STD in the parking lot that he just was completely confused.




JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 2: Mia

There were four reasons why I was looking forward to going out to Tango that Friday night. In addition to checking out the new place, I wanted to drink heavily and hang out with my friends. The fourth reason was that my friend Jess was bringing a hot chick to the bar.

As you may recall, Jess promised that she would find a future wife for me because she wants to see Little Walters running around. She has been unsuccessful thus far, but when she mentioned that her friend Mia would be coming out with us on AIM a couple of days earlier, it piqued my interest.

Me: Who's this Mia? Why hasn't she been out before?

Jess: Scheduling conflicts, I think.

Me: Is she hot?

Jess: I'm not sure what you'll think. I'll give you her Facebook profile.

Me: Sounds like a big, fat "no" to me.

I was still curious, so I looked - and man, she was hot. And single too! I was anxious to meet this Mia, but as Friday night approached, I got the feeling that she was a fabrication. I mean, how could a hot girl be single? Men have been looking for hot, single women throughout history, and have always failed. It's like looking for mythical creatures like unicorns, the Loch Ness Monster and Eskimos. They only exist in fiction; not reality.

We arrived at the bar around 10:50. It would soon be 11:30, then midnight, then 12:30, then 1... and yet, no Mia. I continued to badger Jess about it, but she kept repeating that she didn't know where Mia was even though Mia left her a Facebook message saying that she was on her way.

I told Jess to call Mia. When she did, a telephone operator said, "Your call cannot be completed as dialed. Please try again." I knew it - Mia was fake.

We all played Truth or Dare near closing time. The boxing machine quickly got old, there were barely any hot chicks to look at, and my friend Body Burners kept thinking of ways to become a Jerk of the Week, asking if he would make the cut if he spilled his beer all over me. So, Truth or Dare was our best option. Besides, it can be kind of fun when drinking.

Angry that I was deceived into thinking a rare thing such as a hot, single female would be coming out to the bar, I would ask Jess to pick truth or dare whenever it was my turn. Here's how it went:

*** Turn 1 ***

Me: Truth or dare?

Jess: Truth.

Me: Is Mia real?

Jess: Yes!

Me: You lie! Drink!

*** Turn 2 ***

Me: Truth or dare?

Jess: Truth.

Me: Is Mia fake?

Jess: You already asked that question!

Me: No! I asked if Mia was real. Now I'm asking if she's fake.

Jess: No, she's not fake.

Me: You lied again! This is not False or Dare!

*** Turn 3 ***

Me: Truth or dare?

Jess: Ugh, pick someone else!

Me: Truth or dare!?!?

Jess: Truth.

Me: When did you create this Mia persona?

Jess: I didn't create Mia!

Me: You lied again! Drink!!!

*** Turn 4 ***

Me: Truth or dare?

Jess: Dare! Ha, now you can't ask me if Mia's real or fake.

Me: I dare you to tell me that Mia is fake!

Jess: Noooooooooooo!!!

Jess, if you're reading this, I hope you know I was kidding. Even though Mia's phone conveniently didn't work, I believe that she's real. Then again, I kind of believe that unicorns, the Loch Ness Monster and Eskimos are real too, so that's not really saying much.




JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 3: Hollywood

I've thought about how a hot chick like Mia can possibly be single, and I've come to a conclusion - it's the Window Theory.

For those who don't watch How I Met Your Mother, in one Season 5 episode, Ted, the protagonist, asks an old lady who lives next to a hot chick to tell him when the "window" is open - i.e. the brief period in which she's single.

As I always say, TV is more realistic than real life, so there is definitely some truth to this. While it might be impossible to find unicorns, the Loch Ness Monster and Eskimos, a hot, single girl can be unearthed - but only if you're lucky enough to be around when the window is open.

It's tough to find an open window. For example, this girl I was into dated this dweeb for a long time. They finally broke up about a year ago, which got me excited during a party of mine:

Me: Hey, where's Hot Chick's boyfriend?

Friend: Oh, they broke up.

Me: Yeeeeessssssssssss!!!!!!!!!! Wooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!! The day is mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friend: Jeez, calm down. You don't have a shot with her.

Me: What? Why not? Am I too fat? Did she see a booger on my face when I spoke to her?

Friend: No, it's because she has a new boyfriend.

Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friend: I'm sorry, Walt.

Me: Why didn't you tell me about the window? Why didn't you tellll meeeeee!?!?!? Aaahhhhhhh!!!!!

I still have nightmares about this horrifying chain of events, though I was so drunk at the time that I don't recall who that friend was. If you, "friend," is reading this conversation, please understand how mad I am at you. Not telling a buddy when the window is open is one of the worst acts of friendship treason you can commit, outside of stealing his Tootsie Pops.

Finding the window is difficult enough, but some women have to make it even more challenging. Jess told me about a month ago that she was hanging out with some friends one night, one of whom was hot. The following conversation ensued:

Me: Is this girl a wife candidate for me?

Jess: No. She's not for you.

Me: What? Why not? She's hot, so she's everything I'm looking for in a woman.

Jess: Because she's an alcoholic and a drug addict.

Me: So? I can drink with her. Drugs are only a minor issue.

Jess: I'm telling you, Walt. She's not for you.

Me: Well, why don't we find out? Invite her to my New Year's party.

Jess: No. She can't go; I already invited her.

Me: Why can't she go?

Jess: Because she doesn't have the gas money.

Me: No gas money?

Jess: Yeah. She's poor. She lives like an hour away, so she can't afford to come to your house.

This made me very angry. Why wasn't Drug Chick taking some initiative in life? Where was her drive? Where was her motivation? Why wasn't she trying her hardest to date and/or marry a rich guy?

I feel like this has become a huge problem in our society. Not enough women are gold-diggers anymore, and it's really hurting this country's morale. Years ago, men worked hard so we could make money and get laid. Now, it seems like women are content to get knocked up by low-level ghetto drug dealers.

Here's my theory about this: It's all about the media, namely Hollywood. Think about it - who's the main bad guy in 83 percent of movies? It's always some cutthroat, old, rich white guy who is willing to screw over lots of people so he can line his pockets with even more money. Everyone likes to watch movies, so when women see this, they think, "Wow, all white men who have money are secretly evil, so I'm going to marry a loser with no money or ambition when I grow up!"

This thought process is destroying our economy. With fewer women out hunting for rich guys, men don't have to work as hard anymore. Thus, production is down and companies are making less money, and thus, people get laid off from work - and consequently get laid in bed because they're now poor and unemployed.

People want to blame George W. Bush or Barack Obama for our terrible economy. Public opinion couldn't be more incorrect. It's Hollywood that is screwing us all - or rather just losers with no ambition, literally.

Drug Chick, if you're reading this, I want you to make a difference. Lead the charge for all women to go back to digging for gold. Stop doing drugs temporarily, get off your a**, put on some nice clothes and go meet a rich guy. Once you do, he can let you buy all the drugs and gas money that your heart desires.

Leave a comment

Name
Comment
Verification:
click on image to refresh it
 
Nevea 03-07-2014 08:14 am xxx.xxx.xxx.254 (total posts: 1)
0     1

A Public Advocate acts as a representative for the Quotes Chimp before the state insurance commissioner when insurance com�panies request the right to raise their rates. This is an important concept since most insurance commissioners view themselves as impartial decision makers regarding matters of insurance rather than as advocates for the consumer. Commissioners are barraged by insurance company lawyers and representatives in support of rate increases, but there are usually few advocates for the con�sumer. The office of Public Advocate changes that inequity.
Mira 01-03-2014 08:02 am xxx.xxx.xxx2.75 (total posts: 1)
1     1

This artcile went ahead and made my day.
Flux 01-30-2012 05:52 pm xxx.xxx.xxx9.41 (total posts: 1)
18     17

Jesus man, you just need to go to Russia. They gold-dig hard.

Hell, they gold-dig so hard most people think sexual harassment in the workplace is sexy time.

Oh, and I have totally been Jerk 1.3.
Shelly Tsirulik 01-29-2012 02:24 pm xxx.xxx.xxx.207 (total posts: 1)
18     21

"You know what I would do if I were running a bar? I'd charge people $2 cover, but say that it's all going to hurricane victims, or hungry kids in Africa, South America, or Camden, N.J. People would be down for paying that so they could feel good about themselves. But then, I'd secretly not give the money to anyone and just pocket all the money myself! Muhahahahaha!"

I understand that you are trying to make a joke, but that is just wrong. Having said that, I love your website.
Alec 01-24-2012 12:39 pm xxx.xxx.xxx.120 (total posts: 1)
21     17

Walt, love your website and JOTW, but the drinking age is 21.... which sucks. Should be 18 or lower.
MOUF 01-23-2012 04:51 pm xxx.xxx.xxx.125 (total posts: 1)
15     16

i dont know Walter, thinking back to the great times of economy, in the 90's, grundge was very big, which flies in the face of your theory.

Also, if you dont think females arent still gold diggers, Id suggest getting some deeper pockets, cuz I aint seen it
slim 01-23-2012 02:08 pm xxx.xxx.xxx7.60 (total posts: 1)
14     16

someone a few posts down is a little gullible, yet believes he is the only one that caught the "error". hahahah wake up alex. jackass.
Neil 01-23-2012 11:52 am xxx.xxx.xxx8.96 (total posts: 1)
17     17

Walt: I've always called your "window" theory the open parking space conundrum. Just like you see guys with hot women and wonder how they got them in the first place, it's like going to the mall during holiday shopping season and trying to get a good space in the lot. You just have to be in the right place at the right time.
Nick J 01-23-2012 11:14 am xxx.xxx.xxx9.68 (total posts: 1)
25     19

Spot on with your gold digging theory. So many women are content to just get knocked up by whatever comes along. Largely because the more kids they have, the more money the government gives them to support their kids.
Alex 01-23-2012 11:03 am xxx.xxx.xxx.118 (total posts: 1)
37     17

The drinking age in the US is 21. Nice try, Walt - were you drunk when you wrote that?
Dan B 01-23-2012 09:35 am xxx.xxx.xxx5.34 (total posts: 1)
30     17

Eskimos are the mythical beasts in Wrath of the Titans, right?
Blx 01-23-2012 08:41 am xxx.xxx.xxx.163 (total posts: 1)
21     14

I'm betting 25 people already tried to find Mia on Facebook. :P



More Jerks of the Week:
Jerks of the Week - Home
Jerks of the Week - July 28, 2014: The Tampa Trilogy, 2014: Part 3 - Jerks of the Hotel and Ybor
Jerks of the Week - July 21, 2014: The Tampa Trilogy, 2014: Part 2 - Jerks of Disney World
Jerks of the Week - July 14, 2014: The Tampa Trilogy, 2014: Part 1 - Philadelphia International Airport
Jerks of the Week - July 7, 2014: Dumb Kids, an Old Pervert and a Lunatic
Jerks of the Week - June 30, 2014: Girl Meets World, Sushi and Soccer
Jerks of the Week - June 23, 2014: Therapy Pool Abominations
Jerks of the Week - June 16, 2014: Sprint Framily Commercials
Jerks of the Week - June 9, 2014: Jerks of the DMV
Jerks of the Week - June 2, 2014: Five-Year Anniversary: 50 Apologies
Jerks of the Week - May 26, 2014: Night of the Six Stink Eyes
Jerks of the Week - May 19, 2014: Internet Idiots III
Jerks of the Week - May 12, 2014: Hate Mail, Part 2
Jerks of the Week - May 5, 2014: Hate Mail, Part 1
Jerks of the Week - April 28, 2014: People Plotting My Death
Jerks of the Week - April 21, 2014: How I Met My Cell Phone
Jerks of the Week - April 14, 2014: Bad Omens Monday
Jerks of the Week - April 7, 2014: Clothes Shopping
Jerk of the Year - April 1, 2014: How I Met Your Mother Finale
Jerks of the Week - March 31, 2014: April Fools and April Truths II
Jerks of the Week - March 24, 2014: Downtown Business Meeting
Jerks of the Week - March 17, 2014: Jerks of the Old Gym
Jerks of the Week - March 10, 2014: Winter Olympics
Jerks of the Week - March 3, 2014: Valentine's Day Commercials 2014
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 24, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 3: The Great Flood
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 17, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 2: Power Outage
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 10, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 1: Stomach Virus
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 3, 2014: Cooking with Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 27, 2014: Just Wright
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 20, 2014: People Who Steal From Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 13, 2014: Snowed In and Going Insane
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 6, 2014: Christmas Shopping 2013
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 30, 2013: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 23, 2013: Toyotathon Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 16, 2013: My Elliptical - Struggles of a Fat Man
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 9, 2013: Weird Food, Terrible Music and Rude Service
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 2, 2013: AT&T It's Not Complicated Commercials Part 2
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 25, 2013: Pizza Gluttony
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 18, 2013: The Seven Deadly Jerks at Bravo!
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 11, 2013: Redskins Team Name Controversy
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 4, 2013: Jerk-of-Treaters
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 28, 2013: WalterFootball and the Case of the Kidnapped Granddaughter
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 21, 2013: Jerks of the Mall: Hot Chicks vs. Ugly A**holes
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 14, 2013: Cereal Trilogy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 7, 2013: Urban Education: Getting Pregnant at 13
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 30, 2013: The Philadelphia Writers' Conference
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 23, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 3: Return of Soulless-Eye Lady
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 16, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 2: Confrontation Friday
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 9, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 1: Windows 8 and the Geek Squad
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 2, 2013: Jerks of the WalterFootball.com Forum Party
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 26, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 3: Lots of Hot Chicks
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 19, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 2: Eternal Life
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 12, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 1: The Drowning Fat Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 5, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 4 - The Strange Woman Who Wanted to Give Me Head
Jerks of the Week - July 29, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 3 - The Serial Killer and the Dance-Bang Girl
Jerks of the Week - July 22, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 2 - First Beach Day and Two Nights Out
Jerks of the Week - July 15, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 1 - Jerks at the Airport
Jerks of the Week - July 8, 2013: Master Zumba Invitation & Female Stalkers
Jerks of the Week - July 1, 2013: Jerks of Election Day - Damsel in Distress
Jerks of the Week - June 24, 2013: Attack of the White Trash Brigade
Jerks of the Week - June 17, 2013: Emmitt Smith Reviews Game of Thrones and Other Shows
Jerks of the Week - June 10, 2013: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - June 3, 2013: The People We Saw at Kenny's
Jerks of the Week - May 27, 2013: Jerks of the May 18 Wedding
Jerks of the Week - May 20, 2013: Internet Idiots II
Jerks of the Week - May 13, 2013: Sunday Shopping
Jerks of the Week - May 6, 2013: Jerks of the Housewarming Party
Jerks of the Week - April 29, 2013: Hot Tub Adventures
Jerks of the Week - April 22, 2013: Jerks of Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - April 15, 2013: Jerks of New Computer Day
Jerks of the Week - April 8, 2013: Jerks of Walnut Grove
Jerks of the Week - April 1, 2013: April Fools and April Truths
Jerks of the Week - March 25, 2013: It's Not Complicated AT&T Commercials
Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2013: My Second Stalker, Jerks of the Old Gym Pool & Locker Room
Jerks of the Week - March 11, 2013: Blizzard of 2013
Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2013: Jerks of Tulane
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2013: Jerks of New Orleans
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2013: Jerks of Philadelphia International Airport
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2013: Jerks of Bowling Night
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2013: Jerks of Tango: Where They'll Be in 2020
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2013: One Final Night at Tango
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




Fantasy Football Rankings - Aug. 1


2016 NFL Mock Draft - July 24


2015 NFL Mock Draft - July 23


2015 NBA Mock Draft - July 1


NFL Free Agents


NFL Picks - Feb. 2





© 1999-2014 Walter Cherepinsky : all rights reserved
Privacy Policy
2 5 9
Google

















WalterFootball.com Now on Twitter:

WalterFootball.com Twitter

Subscribe to the WalterFootball.com RSS Feed:

Walterfootball.com RSS Feed






















































Support Walt's Other Site:

Sales Tips and Sales Advice - Tons of sales tips, sales techniques and sales advice, including a Sales Mock Draft: The 32 Worst Things You Can Do in Sales.