Jerks of the Week - Jan. 27, 2014





Jerks of the Week: Jan. 27, 2014


JERK OF THE WEEK: Just Wright

I don't really like movies. People look at me like I'm a lunatic when I say that, but I really don't. I enjoy some movies, but I'm just not a fan overall. I'm much more into TV because I can come back and watch my favorite characters progress each week and year. The time off in between gives me time to think about what's going on, and if I love a show enough, I'll even hatch crazy theories and write about them, as I did with Lost (I'm still disappointed that Aaron wasn't the Man in Black).

Anyway, the point is that I don't watch too many movies, but there happened to be nothing on TV one particular evening - even ESPN was airing stupid X-games - so I found myself flipping through some random channels. Unfortunately, my remote suddenly stopped working. The batteries died, so I was stuck on some network that was airing a movie starring Queen Latifah and Common.

I had no desire to watch this movie - I would eventually learn that it was called Just Wright - so most people would have gotten up and switched the batteries on the remote. I, however, am not most people. I'm too fat to deal with such laborious activities.

So, I just lied there, watching this movie that was getting crappier by the second. I eventually had the urge to just get up and go back to my office, but this movie was so bad that it suddenly dawned on me: It could be a Jerk of the Week! Besides, the last time I wrote a movie review in Jerks of the Week, it was about Twilight and the 10 reasons why it sucked. That was received well, so why not try again?

What I'm going to do for Just Wright is copy-paste the Wikipedia synopsis so you have an idea of what this movie is about. I'll highlight the stupid stuff along the way. As you're about to see, there was a TON of stupid stuff:

Leslie Wright (Queen Latifah)... Ohhhh... so that's why it's called Just Wright. Because her name is Leslie Wright! That's soooo clever!

I actually wanted to take this moment to point out that I don't like Queen Latifah very much. I don't hate her, but I always found her pretentious because her first name is Queen. Who is she to be "Queen?" I don't go around calling myself King Cherepinsky. No sane person has a royal first name (note that I said "sane," so the singer Prince is excluded). So, why is Queen Latifah allowed to get away with this? Why has no one else called her out for it?

And here's the thing about Queen Latifah: That's not even her real name! It's not even close. Her real name is Dana Elaine Owens. So, how did "Dana Elaine Owens" become "Queen Latifah?" Again, it's just so incredibly arrogant of her. But hey, I guess it's OK because she's a fat black woman. If I were a fat black woman, I could call myself Princess Football. I wish I were a fat black woman.

Leslie Wright (Queen Latifah) is a straight-shooting physical therapist and die-hard basketball fan who is tired of being a guy's best friend. She and her god-sister, Morgan (Paula Patton), are living together; Morgan dreams of becoming an NBA trophy wife.

Morgan's dream is to become an NBA trophy wife? It's great to know that she has such high aspirations. If she were less industrious, I imagine she'd settle for being an Arena League Football trophy wife, but an NBA trophy wife? God bless her life goals.

In all seriousness, what a slut. It's a shame that this "straight-shooting physical therapist" couldn't influence her god-sister to be a better person and strive for better goals. It's a shame Leslie Wright couldn't be a psychological therapist, or she could fix her idiotic god-sister.




After a New Jersey Nets basketball game, Leslie helps star player, Scott McKnight (Common), at a gas station.

During this movie, Leslie says stuff like "I'm a New Jersey Nets fan for life!" and "Red and blue runs through my veins!"

Remember the stuff I said about insane people giving themselves royalty names? Well, Queen Latifah is completely nuts if she read this script and actually believed there was such a thing as a "New Jersey Nets fan for life." No one cared about the Nets when they were in New Jersey. The freaking team moved to Brooklyn because no one went to the games. There apparently were no "New Jersey Nets fans for life" except for Leslie Wright. Well, Leslie, I guess your lifespan has expired because the New Jersey Nets no longer exist.

Oh, and how exactly do you help someone at a gas station? Here's how.

"I can't find the button to put gas in this thing, man." Wow. This is a grown man who doesn't know how to pump his own gas. He's even on the phone with someone to get assistance! Has he never driven a car before? If so, why was he driving by himself now? And how does a poor woman like Leslie know how a new, fancy-shmancy car operates? So many plot holes!

He offers to open her door for her, but the task proves difficult as the door to her old car is stiff and hard to open.

Does this guy know how to do anything? It's quite the relief that he's good at basketball, or he'd probably be injecting himself with heroin needles in some dark alley. That is, assuming, he'd know how to inject himself. Maybe he'd get some fat chick to help him with that at the local gas station.

He invites her to his birthday party, where she shows up with Morgan. He meets Morgan and suddenly takes an interest in her.

That's smart. If you're a fat chick completely infatuated with a basketball player, do you:

A. Go to the party yourself and try to win him over with your personality, sense of humor and charm?

B. Stay at home and eat doughnuts.

C. Bring your hot friend along, so that he'll want to bang her upon looking at her.

The answer is obviously A, or perhaps B if you don't think they'll have any good food there. You sure as hell don't do C. Scott McKnight, like any other man, will like the hotter chick with all things being equal. He may eventually like Leslie more, but he didn't get a chance to know her. He just simply looked at Leslie and Morgan and decided the latter appealed more to him. He's a guy, and that's just how the male brain operates, like it or not.

After a quick relationship with Morgan, Scott proposes to her.

Whoa. If you think that's quick, you're absolutely right. Let's look at the timeline. Morgan met Scott during the NBA season, so the earliest they could've began dating was mid-November. He proposed to her before the 2009 NBA All-Star Game (as you'll see below), which was on Feb. 15. So, in a span of three months, he felt as if he knew her well enough to propose to her!

Does anyone else think there's something wrong with this? Unless you're really old and fear you'll die soon, there's no reason to propose to someone just THREE MONTHS after meeting them! Scott is a freaking idiot, though I guess we shouldn't be surprised.

Great job by Morgan, by the way. Her goal in life was to be an NBA trophy wife, and she managed to get a star NBA player to propose to her in just three months. Is this some kind of record? If so, I think we can safely call her the Michael Jordan of NBA trophy wives.

Oh, and one last thing before I move on. Right before the scene where Scott proposes to Morgan, Leslie and Morgan are taking a stroll around Scott's mansion by themselves. Morgan points out a door and tells Leslie that she doesn't know what's behind that door. "That's his secret room," she says.

This is the first thing in the movie that piqued my interest. What was in that shady room? Did Scott have corpses in there because he's secretly some deranged killer? Is he really a vampire who stores his coffin in there? Was the Man in Black living in there? My mind was swirling with theories.

Want to know what was in that room? I don't know - because they never mentioned it ever again! Why would they mention some super-secret room in his mansion and never address it again? What was the point of that?






At the 2009 NBA All-Star Game, Scott suffers an injury that could possibly ruin his career.

The injury Scott sustained was a torn PCL. Recovery time for something like that is 6-12 months. His career was not in jeopardy in the slightest. Perhaps if this were the 1970s, sure, but players are now making successful recoveries with the help of advanced medical science. In fact, South Carolina running back Marcus Lattimore gruesomely tore his ACL, MCL and PCL a year ago, and he's on track to play for the San Francisco 49ers in 2014. So, I think the writing was a bit overdramatic here.

Morgan suggests that he enlist the help of Leslie, since she did not approve of his previous gorgeous physical therapist, so Leslie moves into their home.

Oh, that's nice. Morgan was essentially saying, "Hey this blonde chick working on my man is a threat to me, so please, fat friend, move into my house because my soon-to-be husband cannot possibly cheat on me with you!" Morgan is definitely a great friend.

I don't understand Morgan anyway. Given her personality and intentions, shouldn't she have been trying to catch Scott cheating on her rather than prevent it? That way, she could take half of his possessions through divorce. It's not like she loved Scott anyway; she was enamored with the lifestyle, which she could've enjoyed without her moronic husband.

Rumors circle that Scott's career would end quickly if he did not recover by the playoffs, which causes Morgan to leave Scott through a letter.

Wow. OK, there's a lot here.

First of all, I mentioned already that Scott's career was not in jeopardy because of a simple torn PCL. And why would it matter if he recovered by the playoffs? Was this the final season in NBA history? Could Scott not return to the league next year? Why would the future of his career depend on whether or not he returned by the playoffs? It makes zero sense.

Second, Morgan obviously didn't give a damn about Scott, so it doesn't fit her personality to spend time writing a letter to him. Some of my guy friends have had their skanky ex-girlfriends break up with them via text, so I imagine that's something Morgan would've done. Perhaps a text along the lines of, "Hai Sam I mean Scott ur cool but I need space so were not bf gf anymore k cool gtg ttyl." She didn't care enough about him to write a letter.

The thing is, Morgan's life goal is to be an NBA trophy wife. Scott's still rich, so why wouldn't she still get married to him? At the very least she could hang out with his NBA friends and seduce one of them. What else was she going to do, go back to the dilapidated home from where she came from in the first place?

Scott becomes extremely upset, discouraged to continue recovery. Leslie encourages him and helps him get back in the game, the two of them spending a lot of time together. Scott is able to return to the NBA for Game 7 of the Eastern Conference Finals, winning his first game back.

The summary doesn't explain how unbelievably stupid this part of the movie was. Scott was the Nets' star player, as described earlier, so how the hell did his team reach Game 7 of the Eastern Conference Finals without him? They apparently didn't miss him too much.

Also, the Eastern Conference Finals typically is at the end of May (Game 1 of the 2009 Eastern Finals in real life took place on May 20). That means that this injury that apparently threatened Scott's career took just THREE MONTHS to recover from. And I thought his career was in jeopardy!

Torn PCLs aren't a huge deal, but there is no way any human being can come back from one in just three months. I looked up the recovery time for torn PCLs on a medical Web site, which wrote the following: "If your injury requires surgery, it may be several weeks before you return to a desk job - perhaps months if your job requires a lot of activity. Full recovery typically requires 6 to 12 months."

It takes months just to return to a desk job, and yet Scott is somehow capable of leading his team - which apparently had been going along great without him - into the NBA Finals.

But that doesn't tell the whole story. Scott struggled in the first half of Game 7. He couldn't hit any shot, and he struggled to defend anyone. He basically looked like he was three months removed from PCL surgery.

However, he turned everything around right after halftime. How did he do this? With the power of Leslie! Despite her being in the crowd, she was somehow able to approach the Nets' bench and give Scott a pep talk. This energized him, and he suddenly became an unstoppable force, leading his team to a comeback victory.

Leslie is an amazing woman. Not only did she defy medical science; she also used stealth moves to elude security and then completely bolstered a man's psychological state with a 20-second conversation.

Leslie and Scott decide to spend a romantic evening together, but Leslie wakes up to Morgan at Scott's door hoping to reconcile. Leslie quickly moves out as Scott and Morgan reunite.

Umm... what? OK, we knew Scott wasn't the sharpest bulb in the toolbox, but how could he reconcile with Morgan? She freaking dumped him when she thought his career was over! Was the sex with her that amazing that he absolutely had to get back with her? How utterly stupid can this man possibly be?

Because Leslie helped Scott recover in such a short amount of time, many teams offered her the position as an athletic trainer. Most likely to make the Sixers her new team, Scott quickly stops her when he realizes that he is in love with her.

I could see Leslie getting a job with another team, but when she met with the Sixers, the team's best player, Elton Brand, personally met with her as she was being interviewed. I thought this was a bit odd.

Here's what was stranger: Leslie was being interviewed during the daytime. Scott, who was a guest on Stuart Scott's nightly sports talk show, was asked how he got the motivation to recover so quickly. Leslie popped into his head, and he excused himself, telling Stuart Scott that there was somewhere he needed to be.

Scott then showed up as the Sixers' facility to prevent Leslie from taking the job. I don't know why it suddenly transformed from night to day for him - the trip from East Rutherford, N.J. to Philadelphia doesn't take that long - but perhaps he had to spend the night killing people and stashing bodies into his secret room. It's a shame those scenes didn't make the final cut.

Scott tells Leslie that he's in love with her. She then flips open her phone and calls someone. This enrages him.

"Baby, I tell you I love you, and you gonna be callin' somebody on the phone!?" he shrieks.

Leslie ignores him, telling the person on the phone that she'll accept the position with the Nets. They then kiss and embrace. This phone thing was apparently supposed to keep us guessing about Leslie's thought process, but it was unnecessary and rude.

They are shown a year later, with Leslie working as one of the Nets team athletic trainers and she and Scott are now married.

You'd think this guy would have learned not to propose to someone that quickly, but that would require logical thought process on his part as well as the writers'.

Ugh, what a terrible movie. I didn't even get into all of the stupid stuff either. I failed to mention Leslie's father, a handyman who couldn't even fix his own windows, or Scott's agent, whose only client happens to be Scott (he gave a toast to his "one and only client.")

There were also several NBA players who made cameos, like Wade, Brand and Dwight Howard. I guess this was supposed to excite a male, sports-loving audience, but it didn't. Even if I did care about seeing sports stars in a dumb chick flick, I couldn't get over all of the idiotic plot holes. I'm sorry, but as dumb as some athletes are made out to be, I'm pretty confident that they all know how to pump their own gas.




More Jerks of the Week:
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Jerks of the Week - Dec. 22, 2014: Jerks of Christmas Shopping, 2014
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 15, 2014: Idiots at the Gym
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Jerks of the Week - June 23, 2014: Therapy Pool Abominations
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Jerks of the Week - April 28, 2014: People Plotting My Death
Jerks of the Week - April 21, 2014: How I Met My Cell Phone
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Jerks of the Week - April 7, 2014: Clothes Shopping
Jerk of the Year - April 1, 2014: How I Met Your Mother Finale
Jerks of the Week - March 31, 2014: April Fools and April Truths II
Jerks of the Week - March 24, 2014: Downtown Business Meeting
Jerks of the Week - March 17, 2014: Jerks of the Old Gym
Jerks of the Week - March 10, 2014: Winter Olympics
Jerks of the Week - March 3, 2014: Valentine's Day Commercials 2014
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 24, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 3: The Great Flood
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 17, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 2: Power Outage
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 10, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 1: Stomach Virus
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 3, 2014: Cooking with Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 27, 2014: Just Wright
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 20, 2014: People Who Steal From Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 13, 2014: Snowed In and Going Insane
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 6, 2014: Christmas Shopping 2013
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 30, 2013: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 23, 2013: Toyotathon Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 16, 2013: My Elliptical - Struggles of a Fat Man
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 9, 2013: Weird Food, Terrible Music and Rude Service
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 2, 2013: AT&T It's Not Complicated Commercials Part 2
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 25, 2013: Pizza Gluttony
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 18, 2013: The Seven Deadly Jerks at Bravo!
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 11, 2013: Redskins Team Name Controversy
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 4, 2013: Jerk-of-Treaters
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 28, 2013: WalterFootball and the Case of the Kidnapped Granddaughter
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 21, 2013: Jerks of the Mall: Hot Chicks vs. Ugly A**holes
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 14, 2013: Cereal Trilogy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 7, 2013: Urban Education: Getting Pregnant at 13
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 30, 2013: The Philadelphia Writers' Conference
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 23, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 3: Return of Soulless-Eye Lady
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 16, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 2: Confrontation Friday
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 9, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 1: Windows 8 and the Geek Squad
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 2, 2013: Jerks of the WalterFootball.com Forum Party
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 26, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 3: Lots of Hot Chicks
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 19, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 2: Eternal Life
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 12, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 1: The Drowning Fat Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 5, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 4 - The Strange Woman Who Wanted to Give Me Head
Jerks of the Week - July 29, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 3 - The Serial Killer and the Dance-Bang Girl
Jerks of the Week - July 22, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 2 - First Beach Day and Two Nights Out
Jerks of the Week - July 15, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 1 - Jerks at the Airport
Jerks of the Week - July 8, 2013: Master Zumba Invitation & Female Stalkers
Jerks of the Week - July 1, 2013: Jerks of Election Day - Damsel in Distress
Jerks of the Week - June 24, 2013: Attack of the White Trash Brigade
Jerks of the Week - June 17, 2013: Emmitt Smith Reviews Game of Thrones and Other Shows
Jerks of the Week - June 10, 2013: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - June 3, 2013: The People We Saw at Kenny's
Jerks of the Week - May 27, 2013: Jerks of the May 18 Wedding
Jerks of the Week - May 20, 2013: Internet Idiots II
Jerks of the Week - May 13, 2013: Sunday Shopping
Jerks of the Week - May 6, 2013: Jerks of the Housewarming Party
Jerks of the Week - April 29, 2013: Hot Tub Adventures
Jerks of the Week - April 22, 2013: Jerks of Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - April 15, 2013: Jerks of New Computer Day
Jerks of the Week - April 8, 2013: Jerks of Walnut Grove
Jerks of the Week - April 1, 2013: April Fools and April Truths
Jerks of the Week - March 25, 2013: It's Not Complicated AT&T Commercials
Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2013: My Second Stalker, Jerks of the Old Gym Pool & Locker Room
Jerks of the Week - March 11, 2013: Blizzard of 2013
Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2013: Jerks of Tulane
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2013: Jerks of New Orleans
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2013: Jerks of Philadelphia International Airport
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2013: Jerks of Bowling Night
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2013: Jerks of Tango: Where They'll Be in 2020
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2013: One Final Night at Tango
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




NFL Picks - Sept. 20


2018 NFL Mock Draft - Sept. 14


Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 6


2018 NBA Mock Draft - Aug. 23


2019 NFL Mock Draft - June 1


NFL Power Rankings - May 5



 





 

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