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Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010




Jerks of the Week for July 12, 2010


JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: LeBron James

Like most of you, I watched the LeBron James train wreck (or Lebaclation, as I like to call it) on Thursday night. I was actually looking forward to it because unlike all of the reality shows on television, this was actually real. Would LeBron spit in the face of his fans and pick Miami, or would he stay loyal and choose Cleveland? It almost had an NFL Draft-type feel to it.

When LeBron said "South Beach," I had an uneasy feeling in my stomach. Maybe it was from all the burritos I had eaten. More likely though, it was caused by watching this self-proclaimed "King" make himself look like a complete douche bag by selling out his hometown.

At that point, I decided that LeBron would probably be one of my upcoming Jerks of the Week. And then I saw Josh W. post the following on my Facebook wall:

Walt, I will be enraged of Leb***h isn't a Jerk of the Week this week, it will jeopardize my readership if he isn't one.

Well, that settles it! I don't want to lose a reader, so here are 10 points I want to make about "LeB***h's" Lebaclation:


1. LeBron is a Narcissistic Douche: When Michael Jordan returned from baseball to rejoin the Bulls, did he hold an hour-long press conference on ESPN? Nope. He just said, "I'm back." And as Jason Whitlock pointed out on Twitter, Jordan never called himself "Air Jordan." LeBron, meanwhile, created a Twitter account called "KingJames." Umm... don't you have to win something before you call yourself "King?" And even then, you're still being a narcissistic a-hole.

Anyone who defends LeBron and bashes Brett Favre for his prima donna attitude is a hypocrite. What LeBron did was far worse than anything Favre has done over the years. Sure, ESPN covers Favre ad nauseum, but Favre never called for an hour-long special announcing his decision. LeBron is a loathsome egomaniac for doing so.


2. Why Jim Gray? As if LeBron's reality TV show wasn't enough, he had to conduct an interview with Jim Gray, the a**hole of all a**holes.

Seriously, if you're going to draw all of this attention to yourself, paint yourself a narcissistic jerk and spit in your former fans' faces on national TV, can you at least get someone likeable to interview you?

And why stop at Jim Gray? Why not just go one step up the scumbag scale and get Osama bin Laden, Bernie Madoff or Satan to conduct the interview? Or since you think you're so awesome, why not just ask yourself the questions, LeBron? Maybe it's because...


3. LeBron is the Next Emmitt: I REALLY REALLY REALLY hope that LeBron goes into television once his career is over because he might be worse than Emmitt Smith. In about 30 minutes of interview time, LeBron gave us gems like...

"This whole free agent experience. I'm looking forward to it."

Looking forward to it? This show is the conclusion of it! Am I missing something here?

"It's been heavy a lot."

The opposite of this would be "it's seldom been light." Yeah, that doesn't make much sense either.

"The things that the Miami Heat franchise have done."

Ahh, the classic have/has confusion that Emmitt always struggled with. I miss Emmitt.

"In the seven years I've gave to that franchise..."

Not sure, but based on all the green lines, I think my Microsoft Word wants to kill me for typing up that sentence.

"Miami is a great organ-I-zation."

David Kay stole my thunder here when he wrote, "Is LeBron from Canada and nobody told me? Why did he keep saying organ-I-zation?" I guess LeBron has to build a hoos down in Miami, eh?

"You win championships as a team, from top to bottom, from the players, to the owners and the people in the concession stands."

Pat Riley better make sure he has sharp people running those concession stands!

"I know how loyal I am."

Really, LeBron? You said this as a joke, right?


4. LeBron Doesn't Know the Meaning of Loyalty: What bothers me the most is that LeBron did this whole dog and pony show to announce that he's abandoning his hometown. If he really wanted to move on to Miami, why would he make a big fuss about it? Why put his former fans through this?

The only way I would have been OK with this ridiculous hour-long special is if LeBron said something like, "I really considered going to Miami because the appeal of playing with Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh was very tempting, but in the end, I can't leave my hometown and my fans." Now that's loyalty.

Again, I'm not chastising LeBron for picking Miami. It's HOW he picked Miami.

And because I love to compare things to Karate Kid (as I did with the Taylor Mays situation during the 2010 NFL Draft), imagine if Daniel LaRusso held a press conference two months after his first karate tournament and announced that he was joining the Cobra Kai dojo. Sadly, I think the same people would defend LaRusso by saying, "He just wants to win and he's taking less money! He's not arrogant!"


5. Cleveland is Finished: I'm not talking about the Cavaliers here. I'm referring to the actual city of Cleveland.

Cleveland is bankrupt. I can bore you with the details, and discuss what its corrupt mayors have done and how I would fix things, but that would just anger some naive people. What's important now is that Cleveland businesses will reportedly lose a collective $45 MILLION this year in the wake of LeBron's departure.

As a result, these businesses will have to do one of three things: close down for good, leave the city or fire workers. Either way, unemployment will grow and Cleveland's corrupt mayors will have to raise taxes even further, driving the city further into bankruptcy. All because Loyal LeBron left.

On a lighter note, I love that the Cleveland Tourism video has already changed. Here's the old version of the Cleveland Tourism video, and here's the new version.


6. Cleveland Fans are Awesome: When LeBron announced that he was taking his "talents" to South Beach, I wrote the following on the forum: "Every Cavs fan should torch their LeBron jersey right now."

An hour later, ESPN cameras caught Cavalier fans burning their LeBron jerseys. Thanks for reading the site, guys!


7. Dan Gilbert is My New Favorite Owner: If you haven't seen it yet, Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert lost his mind hours after LeBron announced that he's moving to South Beach. Here's Gilbert's response.

Forget the crazy giant blue font and the capitalized letters for a second because this was awesome. Did Gilbert go a little overboard with the name-calling? Probably. But I love his passion. He's agonizing over this just like every Cavaliers fan is right now.

If I'm from Cleveland, I'm at least happy that my basketball team's owner cares this much because many owners just don't give a damn. For example, if the Philadelphia 76ers lost a player like LeBron in this fashion, Chairman Ed Snider would probably ask, "Huh? What just happened? We had someone named LeBron on our team? Well, I'm glad he's gone because I hate French people!"

Thanks to Gilbert's response, I'm adopting the Cavaliers as my second-favorite NBA team. Sure, they're going to win 10-12 games next year, but I'll be rooting for them - especially when they play LeBron.


8. LeChoke Artist: To continue with Gilbert's tirade, he brought up a great point:

"He quit [in the Celtics playoff series] ... Not just in Game 5, but in Games 2, 4 and 6. Watch the tape. The Boston series was unlike anything in the history of sports for a superstar."

He's absolutely right. In fact, I referred to James as "Zombie LeBron" in my NBA Picks page this May after he quit on his team in the second round.

LeBron's only 25, so he still has time to mature. But as of right now, I see him as a quitter and a loser. I don't want someone like that on my team, no matter how talented he is. I'll gladly take Kobe Bryant, Kevin Durant and...


9. Dwyane Wade: Great tweet from Boombox77:

LeBron needs Wade. Because unlike LeBron, Wade has the heart of a champion.

LeBron may be a gutless prima donna, but the Heat will always be a championship contender because Wade will be there to bail LeBron out.

And because LeBron is now paired with Wade, the Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant comparisons are now nullified; when his career is over, LeBron can only be compared to the greatest second bananas in NBA history, like Scottie Pippen or Kevin McHale - unless LeBron actually grows a pair. For now, Miami is Wade's team; not LeBron's.


10. "But LeBron Took Less Money to Sign with Miami!" I puked just writing that sentence. Anyone who uses that statement as a defense for LeBron needs to realize a few things:

First of all, let's not forget that LeBron saves $10 million by signing with Miami because Florida has no state income tax. I love how most people are ignoring this. So, whatever LeBron signs for with the Heat, just add $10 million to that total.

Second, according to ESPN's Chris Broussard, LeBron didn't sign with the Bulls because they didn't provide enough "perks" for him, his family and his friends. LeBron reportedly asked for some stuff, but according to Broussard, the Bulls said "we didn't do that for Michael Jordan, so we're not doing it for you."

And third, LeBron will be in a much larger market in Miami than he was in Cleveland. He'll have more advertising and sponsorship opportunities with the Heat. So while LeBron will make less on his contract, he'll get tons of revenue from other places.


So that's why LeBron James is a Jerk of the Week. If you agree with me, awesome. If you disagree with me, I'm sorry that you just don't get it. But either way, I'm willing to bet that you're glad I didn't use giant blue Comic Sans font to get my points across.




JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 2: OfficeMax

Two weeks ago, I stepped into OfficeMax for the first time. I was looking for a new computer desk for my house, and I heard that unlike Staples, OfficeMax had some good office furniture.

I found this black desk I really liked that came along with a filing cabinet and complementary shelves. So, I decided to buy it. The guy at the front informed me that if I want someone from OfficeMax to come put the three items together, I'd have to pay extra.

That makes sense, right? I figured I'd have to pay $50, $75 or $100 at the most. That seems fair. However, once I looked at the price list later on, I realized that it would cost me $285 ($95 per item). To quote that annoying little brat on Full House, "What a rip-off!" (Hey, I was in the hospital to get some x-rays recently, and they had Full House on the TV in the waiting room. I swear that's where this reference came from.)

So, whatever. I'd get someone to help me put the desk together. Unfortunately, that was the least of my concerns regarding OfficeMax.

My furniture arrived last Wednesday. The delivery guy unloaded two boxes out of his truck. He wheeled the first one into my house and asked, "Where do you want this box, 'round hmyaw?" I told him I wanted it placed upstairs. He shook his head and replied, "Come on mang, I wasn't even supposed to bring this box inside right? They told me to leave it on the front step, round 'hmyaw."

Are you kidding me, OfficeMax? You told the delivery guy to leave my furniture outside my front door? What kind of service is that?

So, this delivery guy wheeled the second box in and then drove away. I normally tip, but this guy was a lazy douche and didn't deserve any extra money. Besides, I only had about a dozen $1 bills on me, so I didn't want to look lame by giving him a pile of ones like he was some stripper.

At any rate, my kitchen table arrived the next day. I noticed that the OfficeMax boxes were blocking the path to the kitchen (thanks, lazy douche). I tried to move them, and I suddenly realized why the lazy delivery guy didn't want to wheel them upstairs. They were super heavy - think Rosie O'Donnell and Sally Struthers combined.

Later that day, I went swimming. After finishing up my mile, I got out of the pool quickly to talk to this new hot Asian lifeguard when I threw out my back.

How pathetic is that? I debacled my back trying to get out of a pool. What am I, 65 years old? I later realized that it was a repercussion from moving those two boxes and then swimming, but still - I can't game hot Asian lifeguards when I'm seemingly hurting my back so easily.

The next day, I went back to the house. Looking at the two boxes, I realized that the complementary shelves I ordered weren't pictured anywhere. Upon delivery I assumed they were in one of the two boxes, but I didn't see it written anywhere. I called up OfficeMax, and they told me that the shelves were on back order and will be delivered Tuesday.

Well, thanks for letting me know ahead of time! Seriously, what sort of company does this? If something's on back order, tell me, or have the delivery guy inform me. Don't make me call your stupid number, press 1 for English and have me wait for 15 minutes to speak to someone.

So anyway, the July 4 holiday weekend passes by, and I get a call from some Spanish guy Tuesday morning. "I'll be there 1 o'clock, maybe 2 o'clock at the latest mang," he says. That's good timing, I figure, because I have a doctor's appointment at 3 for my back.

I get to the house at 12:45. I wait for a while, passing the time by typing up my critique of the ESPN Fantasy Football Mock Draft. Suddenly I realize it's 2 p.m. and he's not there yet. I wait a half hour longer and finally call him back.

Me: Hey, do you know when you'll be here because I have a doctor's appointment at 3?

Delivery Guy: Ah yes, I will be there at five, maybe six at the latest mang."

Wow. I can understand running a half hour late, but three hours? What happened to this guy that his schedule got so thrown off in a span of a few hours? Maybe the other lazy delivery guy informed him that "the mang living 'round hmyaw doesn't tip 'round hmyaw."

I went by my house around 7:30, and sure enough, the box was sitting outside my front door. I tried to pick it up, but like the other boxes, it weighed a billion pounds. Fortunately, there weren't any hot Asian lifeguards at my pool that night, or I would have thrown out my back again.




JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 3: The Best Football Player Ever

I haven't fully moved into my new house yet, but I already spotted a neighbor who deserves to be featured on Jerks of the Week.

Two weeks ago, I was sitting outside my front door waiting for Sears to deliver my refrigerator, washer and dryer (yes, they finally figured out that my house wasn't in New Jersey or Buffalo). I was looking through ESPN's Fantasy Football Magazine looking for errors (as I do every year) when I overheard some kid about three houses down from me.

This kid must have been 13 or 14 years old. He was throwing the football around with someone else his age. What made him a jerk is some of the things he yelled to his friend:

"Catch it like this! LIKE THIS!"

The other kid couldn't catch at all. It was embarrassing. Still, Best Football Player Ever made it worse by showing him up. He constantly yelled "Catch it like this!" whenever the ball was sailing toward him. Not everyone can catch, douche - not even some NFL players (cough, Ted Ginn).

"Are you kidding me!?!?!?"

He yelled this every time his friend completely misfired. In all fairness, Best Football Player Ever's friend really sucked. Every pass wobbled, and two attempts hit a Verizon truck parked near their house. One incredibly overthrown pass almost hit my car, which was parked across the street. Basically, he had Derek Anderson-type accuracy.

"Why are you backing away from me!? Stop backing away from me!"

He said this often. The other kid probably kept backing away because he was crapping his pants, scared that Best Football Player Ever would criticize him some more.

"Why are you throwing it so high!?"

He yelled this once. Hilariously, Best Football Player Ever's next throw bounced into the ground.

"Maybe you should start paying attention to me!"

Once he said this, his friend gave up and went inside. Best Football Player Ever undoubtedly proceeded to drink his friend's tears.

The other guy sucked, but still - there's no point in acting like Terrell Owens in a simple game of catch with a friend. It's not like they were training for the local high school football team or anything, and if they were, I'm betting against them every chance I get. (Hey, I'm a degenerate gambler; what can I say?)

The only good thing to come out of this was the comfort in knowing that I have at least one person to make fun of in my new neighborhood. Congratulations, Best Football Player Ever - someone was paying attention to you; just not your crappy football-throwing friend.



More Jerks of the Week:
Jerks of the Week - Home
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 29, 2014: Dinners to Go
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 22, 2014: Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 15, 2014: All Waiters Hate Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 8, 2014: Befriending Those Who Want to Kill Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 1, 2014: Little League World Series, Morning Radio Shows
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 25, 2014: Why True Blood Sucks
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 18, 2014: Selfies and Spammers
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 11, 2014: Shopping for Bras, Dominatrix Items and Stolen Goods
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 4, 2014: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2014
Jerks of the Week - July 28, 2014: The Tampa Trilogy, 2014: Part 3 - Jerks of the Hotel and Ybor
Jerks of the Week - July 21, 2014: The Tampa Trilogy, 2014: Part 2 - Jerks of Disney World
Jerks of the Week - July 14, 2014: The Tampa Trilogy, 2014: Part 1 - Philadelphia International Airport
Jerks of the Week - July 7, 2014: Dumb Kids, an Old Pervert and a Lunatic
Jerks of the Week - June 30, 2014: Girl Meets World, Sushi and Soccer
Jerks of the Week - June 23, 2014: Therapy Pool Abominations
Jerks of the Week - June 16, 2014: Sprint Framily Commercials
Jerks of the Week - June 9, 2014: Jerks of the DMV
Jerks of the Week - June 2, 2014: Five-Year Anniversary: 50 Apologies
Jerks of the Week - May 26, 2014: Night of the Six Stink Eyes
Jerks of the Week - May 19, 2014: Internet Idiots III
Jerks of the Week - May 12, 2014: Hate Mail, Part 2
Jerks of the Week - May 5, 2014: Hate Mail, Part 1
Jerks of the Week - April 28, 2014: People Plotting My Death
Jerks of the Week - April 21, 2014: How I Met My Cell Phone
Jerks of the Week - April 14, 2014: Bad Omens Monday
Jerks of the Week - April 7, 2014: Clothes Shopping
Jerk of the Year - April 1, 2014: How I Met Your Mother Finale
Jerks of the Week - March 31, 2014: April Fools and April Truths II
Jerks of the Week - March 24, 2014: Downtown Business Meeting
Jerks of the Week - March 17, 2014: Jerks of the Old Gym
Jerks of the Week - March 10, 2014: Winter Olympics
Jerks of the Week - March 3, 2014: Valentine's Day Commercials 2014
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 24, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 3: The Great Flood
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 17, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 2: Power Outage
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 10, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 1: Stomach Virus
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 3, 2014: Cooking with Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 27, 2014: Just Wright
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 20, 2014: People Who Steal From Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 13, 2014: Snowed In and Going Insane
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 6, 2014: Christmas Shopping 2013
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 30, 2013: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 23, 2013: Toyotathon Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 16, 2013: My Elliptical - Struggles of a Fat Man
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 9, 2013: Weird Food, Terrible Music and Rude Service
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 2, 2013: AT&T It's Not Complicated Commercials Part 2
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 25, 2013: Pizza Gluttony
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 18, 2013: The Seven Deadly Jerks at Bravo!
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 11, 2013: Redskins Team Name Controversy
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 4, 2013: Jerk-of-Treaters
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 28, 2013: WalterFootball and the Case of the Kidnapped Granddaughter
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 21, 2013: Jerks of the Mall: Hot Chicks vs. Ugly A**holes
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 14, 2013: Cereal Trilogy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 7, 2013: Urban Education: Getting Pregnant at 13
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 30, 2013: The Philadelphia Writers' Conference
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 23, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 3: Return of Soulless-Eye Lady
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 16, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 2: Confrontation Friday
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 9, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 1: Windows 8 and the Geek Squad
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 2, 2013: Jerks of the WalterFootball.com Forum Party
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 26, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 3: Lots of Hot Chicks
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 19, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 2: Eternal Life
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 12, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 1: The Drowning Fat Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 5, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 4 - The Strange Woman Who Wanted to Give Me Head
Jerks of the Week - July 29, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 3 - The Serial Killer and the Dance-Bang Girl
Jerks of the Week - July 22, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 2 - First Beach Day and Two Nights Out
Jerks of the Week - July 15, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 1 - Jerks at the Airport
Jerks of the Week - July 8, 2013: Master Zumba Invitation & Female Stalkers
Jerks of the Week - July 1, 2013: Jerks of Election Day - Damsel in Distress
Jerks of the Week - June 24, 2013: Attack of the White Trash Brigade
Jerks of the Week - June 17, 2013: Emmitt Smith Reviews Game of Thrones and Other Shows
Jerks of the Week - June 10, 2013: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - June 3, 2013: The People We Saw at Kenny's
Jerks of the Week - May 27, 2013: Jerks of the May 18 Wedding
Jerks of the Week - May 20, 2013: Internet Idiots II
Jerks of the Week - May 13, 2013: Sunday Shopping
Jerks of the Week - May 6, 2013: Jerks of the Housewarming Party
Jerks of the Week - April 29, 2013: Hot Tub Adventures
Jerks of the Week - April 22, 2013: Jerks of Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - April 15, 2013: Jerks of New Computer Day
Jerks of the Week - April 8, 2013: Jerks of Walnut Grove
Jerks of the Week - April 1, 2013: April Fools and April Truths
Jerks of the Week - March 25, 2013: It's Not Complicated AT&T Commercials
Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2013: My Second Stalker, Jerks of the Old Gym Pool & Locker Room
Jerks of the Week - March 11, 2013: Blizzard of 2013
Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2013: Jerks of Tulane
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2013: Jerks of New Orleans
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2013: Jerks of Philadelphia International Airport
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2013: Jerks of Bowling Night
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2013: Jerks of Tango: Where They'll Be in 2020
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2013: One Final Night at Tango
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




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2016 NFL Mock Draft - July 24


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