Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2015





Jerks of the Week: Oct. 12, 2015


JERK OF THE WEEK: Jerks of the Gym Pool

I've written countless Jerks of the Week columns this year about people at my gym. I've written about Grandpa Pimp, who wants me to marry his one "stupid" granddaughter so that he can have a "normal" grandson-in-law, as opposed to the "China Man" his other granddaughter married. I've posted pictures of Homeless Grudge Woman, a scary-looking lady who walks around the pool aimlessly and actually believes that the government is spying on her. I've talked about Mr. Orange, an Indian man who constantly called me "Orange" because he thought that was my name after I told him it was Walter.

What all of these people have in common - besides the fact that they are weirdos I've encountered at the gym - is that they don't actually go into the lap pool at my gym. Grandpa Pimp frequents the locker room and sauna; Homeless Grudge Woman walks around the pool, but never goes into it; and Mr. Orange lounges in the baby pool/hot tub when he tries to get my attention by calling me "Orange."

I'd be remiss if I went any longer without talking about the actual jerks in the pool, and there definitely are some. It's been a while since I've done this; in fact, doing a quick search of my Jerks of the Week home page, the last time a title had "gym pool" in it was back in March 2013, where I discussed Strict Swim Coach and someone I dubbed Man in Weiner Bikiner.

A quick note on Strict Swim Coach: One of the lifeguards was complaining about him, but not because he was being a douche...

"I can't stand seeing that guy," the lifeguard said to me, after waking up from his nap. "Every time he walks onto the pool deck with his flip flops on, I can't help but look at his feet, and I almost gag because they are so disgusting."

I'm not someone who enjoys looking at feet - especially dudes' feet - but I made it a point to check them out the next time I saw them. The lifeguard was totally right, and I nearly barfed as well. I wish I could appropriately describe them, but here's my best shot: All of his long toenails are black and green from fungus growing inside of them. Some of his toes are strangely crooked as well. But the worst part is the skin on his feet. Wherever he doesn't have large veins bursting out, he has callouses and large, round, white warts covering his skin. It's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen - and that's saying something because all of the old men at the gym locker room walk around naked, so their saggy balls are flopping around everywhere.

As for the jerks of the pool, they're only occasionally disgusting. There are random fat women who try to eat me, and there are some old men who think wearing Speedos is still a thing, but I normally don't have an urge to vomit while doing laps. What I feel like doing sometimes, however, is yelling obscenities at people.

I nearly reached a breaking point on a Friday during the summer. I went to the pool earlier than I normally like to go because it closed for camp at 1:45. I arrived around noon, but couldn't get to the pool for some time because an old, obese black woman, leaning on a cane, was blocking the gym entrance. I had to wait for people to pass by to go around her, and as I did, it felt like her gravity was pulling me into her orbit. I barely escaped; one more second, and I would've become her sixth moon.

I didn't have as much luck when entering the pool deck; each lane was occupied by three or four people. This wouldn't be an issue if these individuals actually swam, but they were fossils incapable of moving around. Elderly men stood at the wall and talked to each other about things they'd forget about five seconds later. Meanwhile, old ladies bobbed up and down, which meant their saggy boobs were bouncing all over the place. I... uhh... remember when I wrote that I don't have an urge to puke when discussing people in the pool? Well, forget about that.




I hopped into a lane with three people already in it: One was a man in his mid-70s, and he had the sort of expression on his face where he was wondering, What am I doing here? What year is it? What's my name? The second individual was some 15-year-old kid wearing a snorkel. The third was a Russian guy who looked and swam like an a**hole. He was constantly on his back, using both arms to propel himself. That wouldn't have been a big deal had he not been doing this in the center of the lane. Both the geezer and the teenager had to squeeze by him each time they passed his slow a**.

The old guy, besides being slow, didn't give me much of a problem. The other two pissed me off, so much so that at one point, I just wanted to stop swimming and shout, "I'M SWIMMING WITH THE DUMBEST PEOPLE OF ALL TIME AGHHHHHHHHH!"

The kid was super annoying. He'd swim normally, but then he'd wait at the wall for me to come by. Once I reached the wall, he just took off ahead of me instead of waiting for me to pass him. If you don't get why this is so bad, it's proper swimming etiquette to let faster people go by. It just makes common sense. If you know you're slower than someone, why would you push off the wall ahead of them, especially after you waited for them to reach the wall? If he was just as fast as me, or if he did this once without understanding what he was doing wrong, I would've been OK with it. But he constantly did this, and I'd have to keep going around him. With two other people in the lane, this would be extremely difficult to do sometimes.

The other guy, whom I'd like to call Center Swimmer, continued to float around in the middle of the lane, oblivious to what was going on around him. I sometimes turned around and swam in the opposite direction, but that was also impossible on occasion because of the other two people in the lane. I tried squeezing by him a few times, but that proved to be difficult, especially later on when it seemed like he was intentionally splashing me.

I finally had enough. When I was about two-thirds through my mile, I was so fed up that I decided to plow through this a**hole (not that there's anything wrong with that). I swam as hard as I could on the right side of the lane. That meant I hit both his left leg and arm (remember, he was floating on his back) extremely hard. He stopped "swimming" and began yelling at me.

Center Swimmer: YOU SVIMMING IN WRONG SIDE OF LINE!!!

Me: Are you f***ing serious?

Center Swimmer: IF YOU SVIMMING ON RIGHT SIDE OF LINE YOU NO HIT ME!!! YOU ALMOST HIT ME LOT OF TIME!!!

Me: That's because you're swimming in the middle of the freaking lane!

Center Swimmer: I SVIM RIGHT! YOU NO SVIM RIGHT!!!

Me: YOU'RE AN IDIOT! YOU'RE SWIMMING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE F***ING LANE! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT! WHEN YOU DRIVE A CAR, DO YOU DRIVE ON THE YELLOW LINES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FREAKING ROAD!?

Center Swimmer: I NO DRIVE CAR NOW, I SVIMMING!

Me: I KNOW YOU'RE NOT DRIVING A F***ING CAR RIGHT NOW!

Good lord. This guy was a f***ing moron. Not only was he ruining everyone's workout by swimming down the middle of the lane, he thought that I was actually being serious about him driving a car at the current moment. I'd think he'd have a Russian blog where he ranted about some idiotic American who thought he was driving a car while swimming, but this dude was way too stupid to figure out how to set up a blog.






At any rate, the shouting match continued...

Center Swimmer: VHERE I SUPPOSE TO SVIM!? YOU SVIM, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT!

Me: NO I'M NOT! I'M ONLY GOING LEFT TO PASS PEOPLE, BUT I'M NOT SWIMMING IN THE MIDDLE LIKE YOU!

Center Swimmer: AHA, YOU SVIM LEFT! NO SUPPOSE TO SVIM LEFT! ONLY RIGHT!

Me: UGH. I KNOW THAT!

Center Swimmer: YOU KNOW NASING. GO SVIM! GO! SVIM!

He then splashed me lightly, implying that he wanted me to head toward that direction. As he did that, I wanted to grab this guy by the throat and choke him. Seriously. I was so infuriated by both his stupidity and arrogance that I wanted to ram him even harder next time (not that there's anything wrong with that), but after our conversation, he swam on the right side of the lane each time. I'm guessing he finally got that whole car analogy, so maybe he won't be featuring me on his blog.

Believe it or not, but Center Swimmer wasn't the only person who yelled at me in the pool that day. As I was done about 80 percent of my mile, one of the aforementioned fat ladies flagged me down. She looked pissed and began shouting at me in her thick, Russian accent.

Fat Lady: YOU SPLASH TOO MUCH! NO MORE SPLASH VHEN SVIM!

Me: Nah, I'm swimming normally.

Fat Lady: YOU NO SVIM NORMAL! YOU SVIM LIKE VILD ANIMAL! ZIS POOL NO FOR VILD ANIMAL!

Me: Really? Because I saw a "don't feed the wild animals" sign somewhere.

Fat Lady: STOP MAKING JOKE! IZ SERIOUS! ZIS IZ NOT SPORTS CLUB! ZIS PLACE FOR PEOPLE TO RELAX! NO VON CAN RELAX VIS SPLASH!

Me: What are you talking about? This is a sports club. It's a freaking gym.

Fat Lady: I PAY MONEY COME HERE AND RELAX, I GOING TO TELL GUARDLIFE YOU MAKING TOO MUCH SPLASH!

Me: Go right ahead. I don't f***ing care.

And just like that, I pushed off. I even made an effort to splash harder whenever I passed by her. I eventually saw her roll out of the pool and complain to various people about me, including the "guardlife," but no one said anything to me as I was leaving, so I guess they A) didn't care, or B) thought she was a moron because she wanted to come to a gym to "relax."

As I was walking out of the building, I passed by the elderly, obese black woman again. She was sitting down on some poor chair this time next to another old lady, so I didn't have the challenge of going around her without getting sucked in.
When I passed by her, I heard her say to the other old woman: "Mmm, mmm, that young man lookin' fine!"

Wow. Even though that lady resembled Jabba the Hutt, I was flattered. I was also shocked that finally, one of the other gym members didn't hate me.

LOADING COMMENTS...



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Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




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2018 NFL Mock Draft - Sept. 14


Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 6


2018 NBA Mock Draft - Aug. 23


2019 NFL Mock Draft - June 1


NFL Power Rankings - May 5









 





 

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