WalterFootball.com - Detailed NFL Mock Drafts, Player Prospect Rankings, and One of the Largest Mock Draft Databases on the Web

Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012




Jerks of the Week for March 5, 2012


JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: The Wednesday from Hell

This was not going to be an ordinary Wednesday in February. I could sense it.

Well, to be more accurate, Weather.com could sense it. The Web site told me that it was going to be 58 degrees and sunny. That only meant one thing - that I'd be able to go outside.

If you've been reading Jerks of the Week, you know that I abide by many rules. One of these rules is not to go outside when it's colder than 55 degrees, barring some sort of emergency. You know, like finding out that a friend is in the hospital, or running out of Oreos and/or Cheetos. Fortunately, I have a garage, and Bottom Dollar Food is right around the corner from my house, so I don't have to be outside in freezing weather for very long. Thank God.

With that in mind, you can imagine my excitement. A 58-degree, sunny day meant that I could finally come out of hibernation and leave my house. I'd be able to do all sorts of exciting things like take a stroll to the mailbox, walk to Bottom Dollar Food to buy Oreos and/or Cheetos, and... umm... other things.

Unfortunately, this day turned into hell rather quickly. It just kept getting worse and worse, so I thought it might be fun to keep a live blog, chronicling everything that happened to me. I did this for my college roommate's wedding a couple of years ago, and I think it worked out pretty well. So, why not try it again?

12:09: My day was already off to a bad start. I went to bed a little bit earlier than usual the night before so I could wake up extra early, like 11:30, or maybe even 11:15. I wanted to enjoy as much sunlight as possible because my skin was turning a sickly green from being in my house for 3-4 consecutive months.

My plan failed, however. I looked at the clock, and it read 12:09. I couldn't get out of bed right away. I was tired, so I just remained there until 12:25. I finally got up, brushed my teeth and went to my computer. As it was starting up, I ran around my house and opened up all the windows. Ahhh... fresh air - I forgot what you smelled like.

12:59: My plan was to do my usual morning work and then go outside. That wouldn't work out so well. My Internet went down at 12:59 - I know this because I have a G-chat conversation timestamped.

This didn't completely catch me unawares, since Comcast tends to crap out at the most inconvenient times. Usually doing something stupid can bring the Internet back. For instance, I disconnected and then reconnected to my network. Didn't work. I re-started the modem. Didn't work. I unplugged and re-plugged the router. Didn't work. I restarted my computer. Didn't work. I prayed to the Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean deity Emperor Zarlox. Didn't work. I called Comcast. Didn't work.

The Comcast call is worth noting because the operator told me that there was a service interruption, so I was basically screwed. This, of course, was after I had to wait a couple of minutes and convince the machine that I didn't have to press 9 for Espanol. At least that's what I think the voice told me. Here's what it said:

"Por taco taco burrito nacho taco bell taco por favor taco nueve."

I'd assume that "neuve" means nine, but who cares? Seriously, why is it necessary for there to be a Spanish option for everything? If there's a Spanish option, why aren't there other language options? Why don't they allow you to press 8 for Russian? There are TONS of Russians living in the Philadelphia area, so why are they expected to know English, while Mexican people can press neuve for tacos, burritos and nachos?

I think it should be all or nothing. Just English, or every language. Russian people should be able to call Comcast in their native tongue if Mexican people can. What about all the people from Britain who can only speak British? Shouldn't they be able to communicate with someone who has a British accent? And how about all the Asians? Why doesn't Comcast provide a customer service rep who is fluent in the Asian language?

If you're an artsy-fartsy, new-age hippie, you may remark, "Spanish is the only other option because it's the second language, you insensitive jerk." First of all, are you saying that there are only two races that matter? Way to be racist. And second, I read in a book that there are like 500 billion people living in the city of China - more than anywhere else in the entire world. That obviously means that the Asian language is the second language on this planet. Why can't the 500 billion people in China press 7 for Asian?






1:13: I figured I'd wait out the service interruption and have some breakfast. I went downstairs and made myself a bowl of Cocoa Pebbles with some orange juice on the side.

I'm not expert in the kitchen by any means - I just opened my oven for the first time last Saturday - but I make an awesome bowl of Cocoa Pebbles. I don't mean to brag, but no one does it quite like me. The orange juice on the side is a nice touch. If you're wondering, I wouldn't recommend putting the orange juice in the cereal bowl; pour it into a separate glass. That's just a nice culinary tip I'd like to offer.

1:16: NOM NOM NOM NOM!!!

1:18: Still no Internet.

1:20: NOM NOM NOM NOM!!!

1:25: Still no Internet.

1:26: NOM NOM NOM NOM!!! (I have now moved on to eating cookies.)

1:30: Still no Internet.

1:35: This was getting ridiculous. Comcast was not going to ruin my day. I got dressed and walked to my mailbox. I had nothing but junk mail in there, but I was still happy to be outside. I then went back to my house, grabbed my swimming gear for the gym and put my business credit card in my pocket.

I had enough of this nonsense. There's a Staples on the way to my gym, so I thought it'd be smart to stop in, buy some Internet and have a connection option if Comcast still wasn't working when I came back home. Big mistake.

2:02: I looked at the clock when I got out of my car in the Staples parking lot, so I remember the exact time.

I walked into Staples and wandered around aimlessly. I didn't see any workers in the store, so I didn't know which aisle had Internet.

2:08: I finally found the Internet. There were two gizmos on the shelves that looked like they might be able to give me Internet in my house without a working Internet service provider. Unfortunately, I didn't have anyone to ask.

2:13: I stood there for five minutes until some tall, skinny, blond worker walked by. He asked me if I needed help, so I shoved the two contraptions in his face.

Me: Can I use any of these things to log onto the Internet if my Comcast is down?

Blond Dude: Hmm... nah... I don't think so...

Me: So, what am I supposed to do? How can I get Internet if Comcast isn't working?

Blond Dude: You'll have to call another Internet service provider, I guess.

Ugh. I was just about to give up when I tried one last question...

Me: But... but... what about all of those times when people go into coffee shops and they can use Internet?

Blond Dude: Oh... hmm... a hot spot could work...

I always knew you could buy Internet, but never a hot spot. I'd always heard the term before, but never knew what it was. Now, I was about to own a hot spot. Muhahahaha!!!

Blond Dude: You can get this Samsung Verizon hot spot, but there's a 2-year contract.

Me: How much is it per month?

Blond Dude: It's $50 per month.

Me: That's fine. I'll take it.

Blond Dude: OK, let me get Morgan, our wireless expert.

Morgan, eh? Sounds sexy. I'd have to ask this Morgan wireless expert chick to show me a hot spot or two, giggity, giggity.

2:25: Morgan wasn't showing me any sort of hot spot. Morgan wasn't even there. Blond Dude asked for Morgan to come to the wireless section on the loud speaker, but she never showed. Another worker informed Blond Dude that Morgan was on lunch break. Great. Morgan's fat. Now, I don't want to see any of her hot spots.

2:30: Still no Morgan. What was she eating, an entire cow carcass?

2:35: Morgan finally came back from lunch. To my utter disappointment, Morgan was a guy. A chubby guy. And he was going to show me his hot spots. NOOOOO(not that there's anything wrong with that)OOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

2:45: Morgan explained all the hot spot stuff to me and took my information. This was easy. I'd be at the gym in no time!




3:00: Still at Staples. Still working with Morgan. I paid and everything, but Morgan couldn't get my hot spot to work.

3:05: Speaking of getting my hot spot to work, this chick who was working the register would constantly walk over and put print cartridges on the shelves. I couldn't tell if she was hot or not. She was dark-skinned, but not black, so she must have been Mexican. She looked great waist down, average in the face, but terrible in the middle because she was flat. Nevertheless, I wanted to have a sexy time with her.

This ties into my Only Bangable Chick Theory. It states that all heterosexual males will want to bang a chick if she's the only one in the vicinity. It doesn't matter if she weighs 300 pounds, happens to be older than 60 or has boils on her face. Only Bangable Chick Theory applies.

3:20: Still at Staples. Morgan was now giving me goofy looks. Maybe he was keeping me on purpose. If he's heterosexually challenged, I wonder if he abides by the Only Bangable Dude Theory. Not that it would apply in this case - Blond Dude is still lurking around.

3:25: It's official - Morgan had no idea what he's doing.

Morgan: This program won't let me enter in the ID number.

Me: Oh.

Morgan: I'm going to have to call the area manager. I'm sorry, I never sold one of these before.

Ugh. And here I thought this was a wireless expert.

3:35: The area manager told Morgan that he had to input a new phone number for the hot spot. "Almost done," Morgan assured me. Yeah, right.

3:40: Morgan once again had a dumbfounded grin on his face.

Morgan: It keeps saying undefined error when I type in the number.

Me: That's not good.

Morgan: I'm sorry, I'm going to have to call the regional manager again.

Me: UGH!!! WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST STAY ON THE LINE WITH HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE!?!?!? ARGH!!!!

That's something I would have said if I wasn't so exhausted. But I had been standing there with Morgan for more than an hour at this point. I just wanted to go home, and eat Oreos and Cheetos. Is that too much to ask?

3:50: Morgan finally got in touch with the area manager again. This time, the area manager couldn't figure out what the problem was. He transferred Morgan to someone else, who then tried to transfer Morgan back to the area manager. "I was just talking to him!" a frustrated Morgan exclaimed.

Meanwhile, I noticed a pair of scissors on the desk. I could just reach over, grab them and end my misery...

3:55: Morgan was still on the phone. I tried looking for Mexican Ink Cartridge Chick, but she was nowhere to be seen. There were no other women to look at either. Crap, I was going to have to bang Morgan. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

4:00: Morgan was still on the phone. I was so bored at this point that I began counting the different ink cartridge colors on the shelf. There were 14 magentas, 11 blues, 10 blacks and seven yellows. I wondered why there were so few yellows compared to magentas. Staples clearly has an agenda against yellow ink, but why?

4:05: Morgan was still on the phone. It was at this point that I decided I wasn't going to the gym. I had to run straight home, spend a little bit of time outside, and then write this Jerks of the Week entry.

4:10: Morgan was still on the phone. He was transferred over so many times that I was convinced that he was speaking to the CEO of Verizon at this point.

Meanwhile, some dork came into Staples with his mom. His hair was combed over, and he was wearing Harry Potter-style clothes. Good luck trying to bang Mexican Ink Cartridge Chick with that outfit, pal.

4:15: PROBLEM SOLVED! Morgan was attempting to input a canceled number. That's why it wouldn't let it go through.

4:20: Morgan gave me some papers to sign. I was willing to put my name to anything at this point - even if it was my death certificate. I was in Staples for two hours. TWO fracking hours!

4:23: I finally left Staples. I drove straight home like I said I would.

4:28: I was driving down the street, about to pull into my driveway. I noticed that a little Asian girl was walking her dog on the sidewalk, but they were a good 20 yards away from the driveway. I figured I'd be able to pull into the driveway in time without having to wait 15 seconds for her to walk by.

4:29: The car belonging to my gypsy neighbors was blocking my view. I tried pulling in, but I noticed that the Asian girl and her dog were running past my driveway at the very last second. I don't know why the hell she decided to start running at the very moment, but I nearly ran her over. I would have killed her and her dog, and I would have been forced to spend two years in prison like Philadelphia's quarterback. Fortunately, there would be an NFL team willing to pay me hundreds of millions of dollars afterward, so it would all turn out OK.

4:30: I thought that getting some stamps from Bottom Dollar would be a good idea. I needed stamps, and walking over would allow me to spend some time outside in the nice weather. Perhaps Somewhat Cute Cashier would even be there.

4:33: Somewhat Cute Cashier wasn't there. There was an old lady working the register, and this girl of about 16 was watching her, presumably learning the ropes on her first day. I'd comment on how the girl looked, but I don't want there to be any sort of Jerry Sandusky situation. I doubt the Eagles will offer Sandusky a big contract once he's released from prison. He'll probably get a small deal from them. I'm not going to settle for a seven-figure deal. I want nine figures at the very least.

4:37: I walked back to my house. What a horribly exhausting day. I couldn't wait to eat some Or...

My thoughts were interrupted at that point. The aforementioned Asian girl was sprinting down the street and crying. She yelled something I couldn't understand, but apparently her dog was running away.

I would have tried to help, but I couldn't communicate to her because I didn't speak the Asian language. And there was no option to press 7.




More Jerks of the Week:
Jerks of the Week - Home
Jerks of the Week - Oct, 20, 2014: My Quest for a Lasagna Pan
Jerks of the Week - Oct, 13, 2014: Telling the Truth
Jerks of the Week - Oct, 6, 2014: Birthday Shopping at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 29, 2014: Dinners to Go
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 22, 2014: Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 15, 2014: All Waiters Hate Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 8, 2014: Befriending Those Who Want to Kill Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 1, 2014: Little League World Series, Morning Radio Shows
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 25, 2014: Why True Blood Sucks
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 18, 2014: Selfies and Spammers
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 11, 2014: Shopping for Bras, Dominatrix Items and Stolen Goods
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 4, 2014: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2014
Jerks of the Week - July 28, 2014: The Tampa Trilogy, 2014: Part 3 - Jerks of the Hotel and Ybor
Jerks of the Week - July 21, 2014: The Tampa Trilogy, 2014: Part 2 - Jerks of Disney World
Jerks of the Week - July 14, 2014: The Tampa Trilogy, 2014: Part 1 - Philadelphia International Airport
Jerks of the Week - July 7, 2014: Dumb Kids, an Old Pervert and a Lunatic
Jerks of the Week - June 30, 2014: Girl Meets World, Sushi and Soccer
Jerks of the Week - June 23, 2014: Therapy Pool Abominations
Jerks of the Week - June 16, 2014: Sprint Framily Commercials
Jerks of the Week - June 9, 2014: Jerks of the DMV
Jerks of the Week - June 2, 2014: Five-Year Anniversary: 50 Apologies
Jerks of the Week - May 26, 2014: Night of the Six Stink Eyes
Jerks of the Week - May 19, 2014: Internet Idiots III
Jerks of the Week - May 12, 2014: Hate Mail, Part 2
Jerks of the Week - May 5, 2014: Hate Mail, Part 1
Jerks of the Week - April 28, 2014: People Plotting My Death
Jerks of the Week - April 21, 2014: How I Met My Cell Phone
Jerks of the Week - April 14, 2014: Bad Omens Monday
Jerks of the Week - April 7, 2014: Clothes Shopping
Jerk of the Year - April 1, 2014: How I Met Your Mother Finale
Jerks of the Week - March 31, 2014: April Fools and April Truths II
Jerks of the Week - March 24, 2014: Downtown Business Meeting
Jerks of the Week - March 17, 2014: Jerks of the Old Gym
Jerks of the Week - March 10, 2014: Winter Olympics
Jerks of the Week - March 3, 2014: Valentine's Day Commercials 2014
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 24, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 3: The Great Flood
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 17, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 2: Power Outage
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 10, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 1: Stomach Virus
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 3, 2014: Cooking with Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 27, 2014: Just Wright
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 20, 2014: People Who Steal From Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 13, 2014: Snowed In and Going Insane
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 6, 2014: Christmas Shopping 2013
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 30, 2013: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 23, 2013: Toyotathon Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 16, 2013: My Elliptical - Struggles of a Fat Man
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 9, 2013: Weird Food, Terrible Music and Rude Service
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 2, 2013: AT&T It's Not Complicated Commercials Part 2
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 25, 2013: Pizza Gluttony
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 18, 2013: The Seven Deadly Jerks at Bravo!
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 11, 2013: Redskins Team Name Controversy
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 4, 2013: Jerk-of-Treaters
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 28, 2013: WalterFootball and the Case of the Kidnapped Granddaughter
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 21, 2013: Jerks of the Mall: Hot Chicks vs. Ugly A**holes
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 14, 2013: Cereal Trilogy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 7, 2013: Urban Education: Getting Pregnant at 13
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 30, 2013: The Philadelphia Writers' Conference
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 23, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 3: Return of Soulless-Eye Lady
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 16, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 2: Confrontation Friday
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 9, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 1: Windows 8 and the Geek Squad
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 2, 2013: Jerks of the WalterFootball.com Forum Party
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 26, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 3: Lots of Hot Chicks
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 19, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 2: Eternal Life
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 12, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 1: The Drowning Fat Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 5, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 4 - The Strange Woman Who Wanted to Give Me Head
Jerks of the Week - July 29, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 3 - The Serial Killer and the Dance-Bang Girl
Jerks of the Week - July 22, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 2 - First Beach Day and Two Nights Out
Jerks of the Week - July 15, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 1 - Jerks at the Airport
Jerks of the Week - July 8, 2013: Master Zumba Invitation & Female Stalkers
Jerks of the Week - July 1, 2013: Jerks of Election Day - Damsel in Distress
Jerks of the Week - June 24, 2013: Attack of the White Trash Brigade
Jerks of the Week - June 17, 2013: Emmitt Smith Reviews Game of Thrones and Other Shows
Jerks of the Week - June 10, 2013: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - June 3, 2013: The People We Saw at Kenny's
Jerks of the Week - May 27, 2013: Jerks of the May 18 Wedding
Jerks of the Week - May 20, 2013: Internet Idiots II
Jerks of the Week - May 13, 2013: Sunday Shopping
Jerks of the Week - May 6, 2013: Jerks of the Housewarming Party
Jerks of the Week - April 29, 2013: Hot Tub Adventures
Jerks of the Week - April 22, 2013: Jerks of Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - April 15, 2013: Jerks of New Computer Day
Jerks of the Week - April 8, 2013: Jerks of Walnut Grove
Jerks of the Week - April 1, 2013: April Fools and April Truths
Jerks of the Week - March 25, 2013: It's Not Complicated AT&T Commercials
Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2013: My Second Stalker, Jerks of the Old Gym Pool & Locker Room
Jerks of the Week - March 11, 2013: Blizzard of 2013
Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2013: Jerks of Tulane
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2013: Jerks of New Orleans
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2013: Jerks of Philadelphia International Airport
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2013: Jerks of Bowling Night
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2013: Jerks of Tango: Where They'll Be in 2020
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2013: One Final Night at Tango
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




NFL Picks - Oct. 26


2015 NFL Mock Draft - Oct. 22


Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 5


2016 NFL Mock Draft - July 24


2015 NBA Mock Draft - July 1


NFL Free Agents





© 1999-2014 Walter Cherepinsky : all rights reserved
Privacy Policy
2 5 9
Google
















WalterFootball.com Now on Twitter:

WalterFootball.com Twitter

Subscribe to the WalterFootball.com RSS Feed:

Walterfootball.com RSS Feed






















































Support Walt's Other Site:

Sales Tips and Sales Advice - Tons of sales tips, sales techniques and sales advice, including a Sales Mock Draft: The 32 Worst Things You Can Do in Sales.