Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2015





Jerks of the Week: July 27, 2015


JERK OF THE WEEK: Cookies, Chips and Bombs

There were various points in my life when I never thought I would say this, but I am in love. And it has nothing to do with looks. Don't get me wrong, though; the object of my affection is easy on the eyes, but it's what's in the interior that counts the most. The inside is irresistible, soft, and delicious.

Yes, delicious. I am in love with Chips Ahoy! Brownie-Filled Cookies.

If you've had Chips Ahoy! Brownie-Filled Cookies before, you're nodding your head in approval and fully understand why I'm so smitten with them. If you haven't had the pleasure of eating Chips Ahoy! Brownie-Filled Cookies yet, stop what you're doing right now. Seriously. If you're at work, tell your boss that you're sick and have to go home. If you're in class, duck out, and if your teacher/professor has an issue with this, tell him/her to go f*** him/herself. If you're in the middle of jerking off, put down the lotion, pause the porno and get fully dressed. It's imperative that you do this because Chips Ahoy! Brownie-Filled Cookies are amazing and will completely change your life. Screw that raise you've been pining for, the "A" you've been striving for, and the lesbian porno you waited 30 minutes to download via the slow Internet you're stealing from your neighbor. Chips Ahoy! Brownie-Filled Cookies are far more important than any of that.

And yes, stop reading this Jerks of the Week entry. It'll be fine. No hard feelings. Believe me, I'll understand. Quit reading and go to your local grocery store, buy Chips Ahoy! Brownie-Filled Cookies and waste no time opening them and stuffing one (or 10) into your mouth. It'll be worth it, trust me. I'll just wait until you've done this and consumed all of the cookies in the box...

...

...

...

Done? Was it as good as I made it out to be? What's that, it's even better? Of course it is. Brownie-filled cookies cannot possibly disappoint!

On a seemingly unrelated note but one that will progress this article, my girlfriend planned to go down to Maryland for the weekend with her friends. To make me feel better about being alone for three days, she bought me a box of Chips Ahoy! Brownie-Filled Cookies. I was overjoyed up until I opened the box as she was leaving.

Me: Wait a second... wait just one second! These are not Chips Ahoy! Brownie-Filled Cookies! They are Chips Ahoy! Fudge-Filled Cookies!

Girlfriend: Oh. Sorry, but they're probably the same.

Me: Probably the same? Probably the same!? How can it be probably the same if one has brownies inside, while the other has fudge inside!?

Girlfriend: Walt, you're a little crazy, and it's making me uncomfortable.

Let me be clear here: I'm not blaming my girlfriend at all for buying the wrong type of cookies. On the contrary, she's not at fault whatsoever. Chips Ahoy! would be responsible because both the brownie- and fudge-filled boxes look the same. Don't believe me? Here's the evidence:



Look at that! Can you believe the audacity Chips Ahoy! had when they were packaging these cookies? Aside from the words "brownie" and "fudge," the two boxes look identical. They're both the same color, and both cookies featured appear to be very similar. Thus, you can't fault anyone for mixing up the fudge-filled cookies with the brownie-filled ones. Hell, Chips Ahoy! could create a feces-filled cookie and put it in the same sort of box, and I bet people would buy those by accident.

Perhaps this is Chips Ahoy!'s plan all along. Maybe this is an experiment. They're well aware that the masses want their brownie-filled cookies, so they're planning to see how many fudge-filled cookies are purchased by accident. Once they collect the data, they'll unleash the Chips Ahoy! Feces-Filled Cookies on the market, and many of us, including myself, will mistakenly eat feces-filled cookies. It's going to be one of the darkest times of humanity when that day comes, and I am seriously scared for my life.




At any rate, with my girlfriend heading off to Maryland for the weekend, I had no choice but to stop by the local supermarket. Wasting no time, I sprinted to the cookie aisle. I am a fat man, so my version of sprinting would be a normal walk for most people, but nevertheless, I was out of breath by the time I reached my destination. I was about to grab a box, but quickly noticed that I was grasping the fudge-filled cookie box.

"Oh, Chips Ahoy!, you almost got me again!" I said aloud. A guy in his 30s with a goatee heard what I said and looked at me like I was insane. But I didn't care. Buying the correct type of cookies mattered more than anything else in the world.

I collected the Chips Ahoy! Brownie-Filled Cookies and walked toward the register. As I passed by the juice aisle, I heard one of the whiniest voices to ever come from a man. It sounded like he either had diarrhea spewing out of his butt hole, or he was trying to stick a plunger up his rear end. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I peered around the corner and saw the guy standing in the frozen foods aisle. He looked like a normal white dude - he had short, spiky hair, a tattoo on his arm, and a 5 o'clock shadow - and he was standing next to a little girl who was about 6 years old, presumably his daughter. The girl was crying and pointing to one of the refrigerators.

Little Girl: I waaaaaaaaaaaaaant!

Whiny Dad: But hoooneeeyy raaaaahhh, you don't liiiike haaawwtt doooggsss!

Little Girl: I waaaaannnt hot dooooggggg!

Whiny Dad: But you're not gonnnaaaa eeeeaat the hawwwwttt doooggsss raaaaahhhh!

Little Girl: WAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Whiny Dad: Whyyyyy don't we get the meeaattballllss raaaaahhhh!!!

Little Girl: IIIIIIIII WAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNTT HOOOOOTTT DOOOOOOOGGSSS WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Whiny Dad: OK raaaahhhh we'll get the haaawwtt doooggsss, hooooney!

If I didn't find this exchange so amusing, I would've been incredibly irritated. Between the guy whining to his daughter, and the girl crying because she wanted something she apparently didn't like, it was a very frustrating conversation. Oh, and I'd have to side with the girl here; what sort of human being doesn't like hot dogs? Hot dogs are delicious. In fact, if you know someone who doesn't like hot dogs, chances are they are an alien being masquerading as a human. It would be in your best interest to grab the nearest shotgun and blast them in the head immediately, just in case they have plans for world domination.

I stayed close to these people to gather more Jerks of the Week material, but I didn't get much. The whiny husband and his wife, who surprisingly sounded normal, conversed about how their alien daughter doesn't really like hot dogs, and that she wouldn't eat them. I wanted to tell them about my shotgun strategy, but I was interrupted by the mother asking the little girl for help because she dropped stuff on the floor. This prompted the girl to cry some more.

Forget the alien part. A shotgun blast to the head would be a great idea regardless of whether she's a foreign being or not.






The next day, I went to the mall. I had to buy something for my cousin's birthday, so I stopped by various stores. I was hoping to collect even more Jerks of the Week material at the mall, but I didn't have any success. I considered the day an utter failure as a consequence - until I stopped by Subway on the ride back home. I walked in and immediately heard shouting between the chubby Indian woman behind the counter and some black teenager holding a bag of chips.

Indian Woman: No, you can't do that!

Black Teenager: I'm jus tryin' to do a simple axechange!

Indian Woman: You can't exchange this here, thank you!

Black Teenager: Come on, help a brotha out!

Indian Woman: You are not my brother, now please leave the store, thank you!

Black Teenager: Come on, one bag for one bag, it's even axechange!

Indian Woman: Sir, you cannot come into this establishment with a bag of chips and trade for another bag of chips, now please leave, thank you!

Uhh... what? Did this dude actually think he could stroll into a Subway and trade a bag of chips for another? What made him think he could do that? Did he actually think that Subway has a chip-exchange (axechange?) program where they'll swap with anyone who walks into one of their stores with a bag of chips?

The black kid finally relented and walked out of Subway, looking completely dejected. The Indian woman, appearing to be annoyed, served the two guys in front of me, a couple of dudes in their early 20s who looked like they were wrecked from a long night of drinking and/or smoking. The first guy kept saying stuff like, "Man, I'm not even awake right now," even though it was 5 p.m.

The second dude, who was short and stocky, was pretty obnoxious. He began his order by saying...

"All right, you ready for this? You ready? I want a buffalo chicken foot-long, but instead of blue cheese, I want ranch dressing. You got that? Ranch dressing? You heard?"

The Indian woman simply nodded her head and began making his sandwich. As if he wasn't bad enough already, he constantly asked the lady if she put Ranch dressing on his sandwich. This was the actual exchange they had:

Stocky Dude: You put Ranch on my sandwich, right?

Indian Woman: Yes.

Stocky Dude: Ranch dressing, not blue cheese, right?

Indian Woman: Yes.

Stocky Dude: Just makin' sure because I like the Ranch better than the blue cheese!

Indian Woman: Ah, OK.

Stocky Dude: You da bomb.

Indian Woman: Thank you!

*** A minute later... ***

Stocky Dude: You put Ranch on my sandwich, right?

Indian Woman: Yes.

Stocky Dude: Ranch, not blue cheese?

Indian Woman: Yes!

Stocky Dude: You da bomb.

Indian Woman: Thank you.

*** A minute later... ***

Stocky Dude: Wait, you put Ranch on my sandwich, right?

Indian Woman: Ugh. Yes.

Stocky Dude: You da bomb. Wait, Ranch instead of blue cheese, right? Not both, right?

Indian Woman: ... Yes.

' Stocky Dude: You da bomb. Wait, you know the difference between Ranch and blue cheese, right?

Indian Woman: ... ... ... ... Yes.

Stocky Dude: You da bomb.

Indian Woman: Thank-

Stocky Dude: Wait, no, you not just da bomb. You da bomb - dot com!

The Indian woman looked confused, and I nearly burst out laughing at how stupid that joke was. I'm not even sure if it was a joke. It was just so dumb that I had to conceal my laughter.

By the time the Indian woman was done with that doofus, she was so frustrated that she looked at me and rudely asked, "What do you want?" I would've been angry that she was so malicious toward me, but I understood her frustration.

After all, when you expect brownie-filled cookies and get fudge-filled cookies instead, everything else seems pretty trivial.

LOADING COMMENTS...



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Jerks of the Week - April 15, 2013: Jerks of New Computer Day
Jerks of the Week - April 8, 2013: Jerks of Walnut Grove
Jerks of the Week - April 1, 2013: April Fools and April Truths
Jerks of the Week - March 25, 2013: It's Not Complicated AT&T Commercials
Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2013: My Second Stalker, Jerks of the Old Gym Pool & Locker Room
Jerks of the Week - March 11, 2013: Blizzard of 2013
Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2013: Jerks of Tulane
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2013: Jerks of New Orleans
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2013: Jerks of Philadelphia International Airport
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2013: Jerks of Bowling Night
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2013: Jerks of Tango: Where They'll Be in 2020
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2013: One Final Night at Tango
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




NFL Picks - Nov. 22


2018 NFL Mock Draft - Nov. 16


2019 NFL Mock Draft - Oct. 20


Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 6


2018 NBA Mock Draft - Aug. 23


NFL Power Rankings - May 5









 





 

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