Jerks of the Week - Sept. 1, 2014





Jerks of the Week: Sept. 1, 2014


JERK OF THE WEEK: Little League World Series, Morning Radio Shows

MONET DAVIS MONET DAVIS MONET DAVIS MONET DAVIS OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG MONET DAVIS OMG OMG OM MOG GGGJG MONET OMG MONET DAVIS DAVIS DAVIS OMGO MG DMOADD EFF MOMG DAVIS OMG MOMENT MONET DAVIS MONE DAVIS MONRG FEIWF H OIHWHWHJ HR EO HRWO.

Sorry. My apologies. For a second there, I thought I was one of those idiots who was obsessed with Monet Davis and the Little League World Series. Thank God I'm not; otherwise, I would've contemplated jumping off my roof.

I hate Monet Davis. Or rather, I hate the idea of Monet Davis. I have nothing against her personally, but every single a**hole on TV couldn't stop ranting about her. I didn't get the hoopla whatsoever. Who cares if she pitched well? Why does a 13-year-old pitcher matter to anyone? Child athletes have come and gone, and most of the time they never develop into anything. Remember that 3-year-old douche who dunked a basketball on a small hoop? Where is he? And what about Michelle Wie? She never amounted to anything despite everyone constantly slobbering all over her. What's she doing now besides asking for change on street corners?

I don't get why people were watching the Little League World Series in the first place. Why was it even televised? I feel like it's dangerous to air that type of stuff on TV. Think about it - if you were to ask Jerry Sandusky to name his top 10 favorite television programs, don't you think the Little League World Series would be on that list? He and other sick perverts would undoubtedly love watching little boys do athletic things. So, if you ever tune into the Little League World Series again, just remember that you're watching something that Sandusky and his cronies are jacking off to.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that one of the major reasons why I hate Monet Davis is her name. It's actually "Mo'ne" Davis. If it was really "Monet" Davis, I wouldn't have a big problem with her, but "Mo'ne" is so stupid that I refuse to acknowledge it. It's so dumb. If her parents actually wanted to call her Monet because they enjoyed the real Monet's paintings, that would be awesome. If they went with Monet because they banged in front of a Monet painting the night she was conceived, that's probably even better.

But calling any child "Mo'ne" or any name of that nature is just idiotic. What insane asylum did her parents escape when they came up with that? What's the point of adding an apostrophe in the middle of her name? Were they trying to be creative? If so, epic fail.

Perhaps I should try to be creative with my name. I think I can do a better job. My real name is Walter, so if my parents bolted from a mental ward, my name might be Wal'ter. But that's dumb, so let's come up with something different. How about:

W@l'$er'.

How awesome is that? Not only do I have two apostrophes; my "a" is an @ symbol, and I added a $ sign in there for flavor. I just kicked Monet Davis' parents' a**.

Because I just proved to all of you that I'm infinitely more creative than Monet Davis' parents, that gives me permission to call her whatever I want for all eternity. So, she's Monet Davis to me now when she's annoying the hell out of me, and she'll be Monet Davis to me in the future when she's asking for change on street corners.





Morning Radio Shows:

Two weeks ago, I discussed why celebrity gossip people on the radio annoyed the hell out of me. I called them the "worst people on the radio."

I was wrong.

I've been driving my girlfriend to the train station in the morning. It's only a 2-minute commute, but that's all the time I've needed to recall something from my childhood. I went to a high school that was about 25 minutes away from my house. My friends Josh and Frank lived in my neighborhood, so our parents would take turns carpooling us.

As if these trips weren't long enough, we had to endure morning radio for the entire trek. I remember praying for music. Just give me three songs on this car ride, I thought. My wishes were dashed every single day, unfortunately. The people on the radio would talk for 10 minutes, and then three minutes were spent on a commercial. They'd play one song (usually four minutes), and then the a**holes would be chatting again for 10 minutes, followed by another 3-minute commercial segment. According to my nifty Windows calculator, that's 30 minutes. So, even if we were caught in traffic, I'd get to listen to one freaking song. Going into school was depressing enough to begin with; not hearing music in the morning just made it so much worse.

Now, this wouldn't be so bad if the radio "personalities" had something interesting to discuss. Instead, they'd talk about dumb crap like celebrity gossip (ugh) and completely random, irrelevant things like traffic, food, pets, etc. If any of these people were remotely interesting, maybe I wouldn't have minded it so much, but listening to them was nauseating. And the worst thing was that there was no escape. Every single radio station had a**holes who had diarrhea of the mouth.

I never understood why morning radio was like this. Why is it so dramatically different compared to afternoon and evening radio? Why can't they just play music? Why do they feel like they need to talk at an endless rate? There is something called talk radio, so wouldn't people who enjoy discussions just tune into that? Why do radio stations dick over people who just want to listen to music?

Anyway, I was reminded of how much it sucks to hear the radio every morning while on my way to school. I'm thankful the train station is so close to my house; otherwise, I think I'd go insane listening to those bozos every time I dropped my girlfriend off. Oh, and they're just as bad as they've ever been. One morning, Q102, a popular station in Philly, was discussing which celebrities have the best features. For instance, the obnoxious host of the show was saying, "IF I HAD TO CREATE THE PERFECT CELEBRITY I'D TAKE BRAD PITT'S CHEEK BONES, ANGELINA JOLIE'S LIPS, JENNIFER LOPEZ'S BUTT (etc.) WHAT DO ALL OF YOU CALLERS THINK!?!?!?!"

I'm not lying when I say that hearing this douche nearly prompted me to drive into oncoming traffic. It was so aggravating. Why does any of this matter to this idiot and his moronic listeners? Who cares about celebrity features? Why is discussing them any better than playing music?

I've heard enough of these a**holes on the radio in recent months that it dawned on me - if I can't beat em, join em. Yes, this means I'm going to make my own annoying morning talk show. I'm going to rant about dumb, irrelevant things, and I'll play one crappy song every half hour. It'll be glorious. In fact, here's a preview:






Me: IT'S THE W@L'$ER' IN THE MORNING RADIOOO SHOOOWWW!!! TODAY WE'RE GOING TO BE DISCUSSING LOTS OF IMPORTANT THINGS AND NOT PLAYING ANY MUSIC!!!

*** Annoying sound effect ***

Me: OK WE'LL PLAY A LITTLE BIT OF MUSIC FOR YOU MISERABLE PEOPLE GOING TO WORK OR SCHOOL BUT FIRST I WANT TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING THAT'S BEEN ON MY MIND ALL MORNING!!! HERE'S A QUESTION FOR ALL OF YOU: HOW MANY SLICES OF PEPPERONI DO YOU THINK YOU SHOULD GET ON A PIZZA WHEN YOU ORDER A SLICE OF PEPPERONI PIZZA!?!?!?

Token Black Woman: Are you getting sausage on your pizza too?

Me: NO MONET, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT GENUINE, PEPPERONI PIZZA. NO OTHER TOPPINGS. JUST PEPPERONI. HOW MANY SLICES DO YOU THINK YOU SHOULD GET!?!?!

Co-host with No Personality: I'm thinking four or five.

Me: SEE I NEED AT LEAST SIX PEPPERONIS ON MY PIZZA!!! THE MORE THE BETTER!!! I WANT MY ENTIRE SLICE COVERING IN PEPPERONI!!! I DIDN'T ORDER PEPPERONI AND NOT PEPPERONI PIZZA!!! I ORDERED PEPPERONI PIZZA!!! SO WHERE'S MY PEPPERONI PIZZA!?!? WHAT DO ALL OF YOU CALLERS THINK, LET'S GO TO CALLER NO. 1, HELLO DORAS WHAT DO YOU THINK!!?!

Doras: Ohh shoonny I have a diarrhheaassh if I eatssh pepperonisshh.

Me: SEE THIS IS EXACTLY WHY WE NEED MORE PEPPERONI ON OUR PIZZAS!!! THANKS DORAS! LET'S GO TO CALLER NO. 2, BILLY BOB! BILLY BOB DO YOU AGREE WITH ME THAT WE NEED MORE PEPPERONIS ON OUR PIZZAS!?!?!

Billy Bob: We need ta blame Presdent Oh-bama for not havin' nuff pepperonis on our dang gone pizzas!

Me: IT'S NOT PRESIDENT OBAMA WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS, BILLY BOB!!! IT'S CORPORATE AMERICA!!! THEY THINK IF THEY CAN PUT ONE FEWER SLICE OF PEPPERONI ON EVERY SLICE THEY CAN SAVE LOTS OF MONEY!!! I DEMAND THAT THERE BE SIX SLICES OF PEPPERONI ON EVERY SLICE EVER MADE!!!

Token Black Woman: I don't think that's possible, W@l'$er'. I think six pepperonis are too much anyway.

Me: I'M GLAD EVERYONE AGREES THAT WE NEED AT LEAST SIX PEPPERONIS ON EVERY SLICE. IT'S TIME FOR A COMMERCIAL, THEN WE'LL PLAY A NEW SONG THAT JAY-Z STOLE FROM SOMEONE, THEN I NEED TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING EVEN MORE IMPORTANT!!! THIS IS W@L'$ER' IN THE MORNING ON R503 RADIO!!!

*** Three-minute commercial break ***

Uhh... I'm Jay-Z, uhh...
Young hova, ya heard?
Uhh...
Young hova...
Uhh...

Mary had a little lamb
But maybe Mary had a ram
Lamb and ram, ram and lamb
Uhh... no thank you ma'am
Uhh...

Fleece white as snow
It came to school, oh no
Teacher made it grow
Ram and lamb turn to crow
Uhh...

Made the children laugh and play
Uhh...
Michael Sam, openly gay...
Uhh...
Young hova, ya heard?

Me: WE'RE BACK, THIS IS THE W@L'$ER' IN THE MORNING RADIOOO SHOOOWWW!!!

*** Annoying sound effect ***

Me: I SAID WE WERE GOING TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT!!! NOW IT'S TIME TO DO THAT!!! JUSTIN BIEBER!!! WHICH VERSION OF HIS LESBIAN HAIRCUT DO YOU LIKE BEST!?!?!

Co-host with No Personality: I liked the third one.

Me: THE THIRD ONE!?!? HOW COULD ANYONE LIKE THE THIRD ONE!?!? IF I WERE TO RANK JUSTIN BIEBER'S LESBIAN HAIRCUTS, I'D GO WITH THE PRESENT ONE, THEN THE ONE BEFORE THAT, THEN THE FIRST ONE BECAUSE IT WAS AN ORIGINAL, THEN THE ONE TOM BRADY COPIED. WHAT DO YOU CALLERS THINK!?!?! JOE, YOU'RE ON THE AIR WITH W@L'$ER' IN THE MORNING!!!

Joe: I like to touch mythelf when I look at Juthtin Bieber...

Me: SO YOU'RE SAYING YOU LIKE THE PRESENT ONE BETTER TOO!!! I THOUGHT SO!!! WHY IS EVERYONE SAYING HIS SECOND LESBIAN HAIRCUT IS THE BEST!?!?! IT'S DEFINTIELY THE WORST ONE!!! SAMANTHA, YOU'RE ON THE AIR WITH W@L'$ER' IN THE MORNING!!!

Samantha: How dare you call it a lesbian haircut!? Not all of us lesbians have haircuts like that! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go spike my hair!

Me: SEE, HERE'S ANOTHER PERSON WHO AGREES WITH ME THAT JUSTIN BIEBER'S CURRENT LESBIAN HAIRCUT IS THE BEST!!!

Token Black Woman: I don't think she's agreeing with you. She's mad at you for calling Justin Bieber's hairdo a lesbian haircut.

Me: MONET, I HAVE NO IDEA WHY YOU THINK JUSTIN BIEBER'S SECOND LESBIAN HAIRCUT IS THE BEST ONE!!! WE'VE TALKED TO 20 CALLERS ALREADY WHO AGREE WITH ME!!!

Token Black Woman: Twenty callers? We've had two on in this segment...

Me: BILLY BOB, YOU'RE ON THE AIR WITH W@L'$ER' IN THE MORNING!!!

Billy Bob: We need ta blame Presdent Oh-bama for Justin Bieber's queer haircuts!

Me: I DON'T BLAME PRESIDENT OBAMA FOR THIS!!! I BLAME THE PEOPLE WHO THINK JUSTIN BIEBER'S SECOND LESBIAN HAIRCUT IS THE BEST ONE!!! IT'S TIME FOR A QUICK COMMERCIAL BREAK, AND THEN WE'LL PLAY ADAM LEVINE SINGING LIKE HE HAS DIARRHEA AND THEN WE'LL TALK ABOUT FOOT FUNGUS AND WHAT IT TASTES LIKE!!! THIS IS W@L'$ER' IN THE MORNING ON R503 RADIO!!!

If you just drove into oncoming traffic, my apologies.

LOADING COMMENTS...



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Jerks of the Week - Aug. 12, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 1: The Drowning Fat Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 5, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 4 - The Strange Woman Who Wanted to Give Me Head
Jerks of the Week - July 29, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 3 - The Serial Killer and the Dance-Bang Girl
Jerks of the Week - July 22, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 2 - First Beach Day and Two Nights Out
Jerks of the Week - July 15, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 1 - Jerks at the Airport
Jerks of the Week - July 8, 2013: Master Zumba Invitation & Female Stalkers
Jerks of the Week - July 1, 2013: Jerks of Election Day - Damsel in Distress
Jerks of the Week - June 24, 2013: Attack of the White Trash Brigade
Jerks of the Week - June 17, 2013: Emmitt Smith Reviews Game of Thrones and Other Shows
Jerks of the Week - June 10, 2013: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - June 3, 2013: The People We Saw at Kenny's
Jerks of the Week - May 27, 2013: Jerks of the May 18 Wedding
Jerks of the Week - May 20, 2013: Internet Idiots II
Jerks of the Week - May 13, 2013: Sunday Shopping
Jerks of the Week - May 6, 2013: Jerks of the Housewarming Party
Jerks of the Week - April 29, 2013: Hot Tub Adventures
Jerks of the Week - April 22, 2013: Jerks of Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - April 15, 2013: Jerks of New Computer Day
Jerks of the Week - April 8, 2013: Jerks of Walnut Grove
Jerks of the Week - April 1, 2013: April Fools and April Truths
Jerks of the Week - March 25, 2013: It's Not Complicated AT&T Commercials
Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2013: My Second Stalker, Jerks of the Old Gym Pool & Locker Room
Jerks of the Week - March 11, 2013: Blizzard of 2013
Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2013: Jerks of Tulane
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2013: Jerks of New Orleans
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2013: Jerks of Philadelphia International Airport
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2013: Jerks of Bowling Night
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2013: Jerks of Tango: Where They'll Be in 2020
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2013: One Final Night at Tango
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




NFL Picks - Sept. 17


2018 NFL Mock Draft - Sept. 14


Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 6


2018 NBA Mock Draft - Aug. 23


2019 NFL Mock Draft - June 1


NFL Power Rankings - May 5









 





 

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