Nifty Fifty's

Jerks of the Week – March 31, 2025

Jerk of the Week: Punching People at Nifty Fifty’s My favorite restaurant on the entire planet is Nifty Fifty’s. I’m sure hoity-toity people who wear scarves and spend $50 at an expensive coffee shop every day will scoff at that. They’ll claim that their favorite restaurant is something called Chez Pierre Mon Frere where you…
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Janitorial Journalist

Jerks of the Week – March 24, 2025

Jerk of the Week: The Janitorial Journalist I’ve published several Jerks of the Week columns on morons I’ve encountered on social media. From Ross Avila, to Jerry Jackson, to various randos on Twitter, I’ve chronicled the stupidity of many people over the course of more than a decade. This latest individual, whom I’ve dubbed the…
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Jerks of the Week – Feb. 24, 2025

Jerk of the Week: The Magically Appearing Parmesan Cheese My son just turned three, yet he knows what the word “spammer” means. This is because no one calls my phone except for spammers and my mom. Nearly every time I get a call, I’ll look to see that it’s a spammer, and I’ll immediately cancel…
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Jerks of the Week – Feb. 10, 2025

Jerk of the Week: Sammy Davis, Fake Lawyer Extraordinaire I already knew that there are many retarded people on Twitter, but the many posts about Lamar Jackson not winning MVP for the 2024 NFL regular season easily reinforced it. Twitter – I refuse to call it X – featured so many complaints from people who…
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