Humor

Jerk of the Week: King of the Playground Did you ever have a nemesis when you were a child? I sure did. His name was Jason, and I hated his guts. Scratch that. I still hate his guts. If I saw him today, I’d tell him to go f**k himself, even though I can’t even…

Jerk of the Week: Prayer and Despair at Burger King I’ve spent lots of time and energy lately complaining about McDonald’s. And I’m not referring to their price gouging, which is an issue on its own. In case you haven’t heard, it’s become apparent that McDonald’s price increases over the years have far exceeded inflation….

Jerk of the Week: The Fat Nerd and His Static Electricity I have two kids. My son Conrad is nearly three-and-a-half. My daughter, Lilly, will be turning two in August. Their favorite pastime while on the playground is making salad. Yes, you heard that right. My two kids love making salad on the playground. Eat…

Jerk of the Week: A Trail of Poop and Blood Charlie Campbell said something very astute on one of our YouTube shows during NFL Draft week. I don’t have the exact quote, but it went something like, “We’re not going to be sleeping very much during draft week.” He wasn’t lying. With two kids and…

Jerk of the Week: The Grifter’s Dozen I was not a normal kid. I always knew this, but it was reinforced when I spoke to my aunt during my daughter’s 1-year-old birthday party. “Your son is so much different than you,” she said of my 3-year-old, Conrad. “He runs around like crazy, while you were…

Jerk of the Week: Monkey Pictures, the Croc Sale, and a Flat Tire I’m sure all of you have seen the viral video of the woman complaining about her husband. In case you’ve been living under a rock or Rosie O’Donnell’s shadow, an attractive woman in her 30s talks about how she nearly divorced her…

Jerk of the Week: Sweatshirts, Mac-and-Cheese, and the Lady in the Yellow Dress There are many things I took for granted prior to having children. For example, I’ve written about going to restaurants in a recent entry. Restaurants have become such an unknown phenomenon to me that I confused a regular patron with a hostess,…

Jerk of the Week: The Wiley Ballard Cat Ladies If you’ve been paying attention, you’re well aware that we’re enduring a population crisis in America. And no, I’m not referring to overpopulation. Blue-haired weirdos living in $4,000-per-month, roach-infested cramped apartments may think otherwise, but we don’t have too many people. Some of these strange individuals…

Jerk of the Week: Easter Egg Hunt 2025: Potential for Domination My wife asked me a silly question a few days ago: “Are you going to the Easter egg hunt this year?” Was I going!? I wouldn’t have missed it for the world! After all, it was two years in the making, as my son…

Jerk of the Week: The Big Shot and the Free Kite I had a disturbing dream recently. I dreamt that some sort of witch doctor kidnapped my 19-month-old daughter and turned her into a wooden doll. I tried everything to reanimate her, but I failed at every attempt. I even had to enlist the assistance…