Jerks of the Week – April 28, 2025

Jerk of the Week: Sweatshirts, Mac-and-Cheese, and the Lady in the Yellow Dress There are many things I took for granted prior to having children. For example, I’ve written about going to restaurants in a recent entry. Restaurants have become such an unknown phenomenon to me that I confused a regular patron with a hostess,…
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Jerks of the Week – April 21, 2025

Jerk of the Week: The Wiley Ballard Cat Ladies If you’ve been paying attention, you’re well aware that we’re enduring a population crisis in America. And no, I’m not referring to overpopulation. Blue-haired weirdos living in $4,000-per-month, roach-infested cramped apartments may think otherwise, but we don’t have too many people. Some of these strange individuals…
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Jerks of the Week – April 7, 2025

Jerk of the Week: The Big Shot and the Free Kite I had a disturbing dream recently. I dreamt that some sort of witch doctor kidnapped my 19-month-old daughter and turned her into a wooden doll. I tried everything to reanimate her, but I failed at every attempt. I even had to enlist the assistance…
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Nifty Fifty's

Jerks of the Week – March 31, 2025

Jerk of the Week: Punching People at Nifty Fifty’s My favorite restaurant on the entire planet is Nifty Fifty’s. I’m sure hoity-toity people who wear scarves and spend $50 at an expensive coffee shop every day will scoff at that. They’ll claim that their favorite restaurant is something called Chez Pierre Mon Frere where you…
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Janitorial Journalist

Jerks of the Week – March 24, 2025

Jerk of the Week: The Janitorial Journalist I’ve published several Jerks of the Week columns on morons I’ve encountered on social media. From Ross Avila, to Jerry Jackson, to various randos on Twitter, I’ve chronicled the stupidity of many people over the course of more than a decade. This latest individual, whom I’ve dubbed the…
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Jerks of the Week – Feb. 24, 2025

Jerk of the Week: The Magically Appearing Parmesan Cheese My son just turned three, yet he knows what the word “spammer” means. This is because no one calls my phone except for spammers and my mom. Nearly every time I get a call, I’ll look to see that it’s a spammer, and I’ll immediately cancel…
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