Humor

Jerk of the Week: Andale My wife has a wild theory about mattress stores. “There’s just fronts for mob operations,” she said. “Have you ever seen anyone in a mattress store? I bet if you just watched a mattress store each day, you wouldn’t see more than one or two people go into it.” “Well,…

Jerk of the Week: The San Francisco Poop Patrol “Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.” – George Carlin I don’t like to begin articles of any sort, including Jerks of the Week entries, with a quote. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it,…

Jerk of the Week: Barbara Goes Wild I swim about a mile whenever I go to the gym, and I’ve been a member of six gyms since I began Jerks of the Week back in May 2009. I’m cheating a bit because four of those six gyms are different LA Fitnesses, but the fact remains…

Jerk of the Week: The Three Crushes In my previous Jerks of the Week entry, I discussed why I skipped my high school reunion. I still can’t believe the idiots on the reunion committee scheduled the event the day of an Eagles home game on Black Friday, all while putting everyone’s lives in danger by…

Jerk of the Week: The Missed High School Reunion I was very much into high school during my teenage years. I didn’t like my school very much during my freshman year, but I warmed up to it as a sophomore. It shouldn’t surprise you that a girl was the catalyst for my brighter outlook. Actually,…

Jerk of the Week: Brian and His Bicycle If you are a weekly reader of Jerks of the Week, first of all, thank you. Thank you for reading my deranged thoughts. I can’t say that enough. I really appreciate those of you who like to delve into the rants of a disturbed individual such as…

Jerk of the Week: Wynter is Coming I don’t agree with the designated dates of the four seasons. If you’re somehow not familiar with it, winter ranges from December 21 to March 20. And I think that’s a load of crap. You can’t tell me that Dec. 18, or 19, or 20, when the temperature…

Jerk of the Week: Sunday Parties This may sound unusual to anyone who has a life, but I was looking forward to going to birthday parties with my son Conrad this year. Conrad turns four in just two days as of this Jerks of the Week entry being published, so kids’ birthday parties may not…

Jerk of the Week: Champoo You might be wondering why in the world I’m doing a Jerks of the Week entry on shampoo. Well, shampoo and I have a complicated history. When I was young, I swam for a club team. I had crazy hair – first, a mullet, and then a mushroom cut –…

Jerk of the Week: The Angry Lollipop Lady I’m not a fan of Chinese food. It’s not terrible like sushi, but I find most of the items gross. Then again, I’m an extremely picky eater, so maybe I’m not the best judge of character when it comes to this stuff. My biggest gripe with Chinese…