Humor

Jerk of the Week: Walt Goes to Vegas 2026, Part 1: Philadelphia International Airport Improvements I’ve brought up this story in the past, but may not have mentioned it during last year’s 12-part Las Vegas chronicles, so I’ll revisit it again right now. I had a friend in grade school and high school. I haven’t…

Jerk of the Week: The Long Table I haven’t eaten at many non-fast-food restaurants over the past six years. First of all, there was COVID, and second, I now have two kids, the first of whom was born at the end of 2021. My wife and I, as a result, have not eaten at many…

Jerk of the Week: The Arby’s Coke Fiend Every time I tell people that I love going to Arby’s, they have the same reaction: “Eww, gross!” And every time I hear this, I tell them that they have no idea what they’re missing out on. Arby’s is one of the best fast-food restaurants in the…

Jerk of the Week: The Prostitute at the Park A long time ago in Jerks of the Week, I used to talk about the Bum on My Street, a crazy person who hung out at the corner near my parents’ house and yelled at squirrels. Now, nearly 20 years later, we have the Prostitute at…

Jerk of the Week: The Karate Belt My 4-year-old son Conrad just began karate lessons. Let me tell you, it’s very intense. During my Conrad’s first lesson, he began talking to a female student about his age. It was just innocent chit-chat, nothing more than that, but another student – a boy with blond hair…

Jerk of the Week: The DMV Black Lodge I did something extremely stupid the other day. I think most people would be embarrassed to share it, but I don’t understand why any adult would ever feel that way. I don’t think I’ve been embarrassed in nearly 20 years because I really don’t care about what…

Jerk of the Week: 80 Cent You may have heard of 50 Cent. The rap artist is from New York. Here in the suburbs of Philadelphia, we have our own version of 50 Cent. His name is 80 Cent. My encounter with 80 Cent occurred at the grocery store. And yes, this is another Jerks…

Jerk of the Week: The Free Grocery Trip I hate to brag, but I’ve become an extremely skilled grocery shopper. I never would have guessed that this would happen more than a decade ago. I specifically remember hanging out with a group of friends. We did something and then went to eat at Saladworks. There…

Jerk of the Week: Ire of the New Swim Ladies I wrote in last week’s Jerks of the Week entry that I signed my kids up for sports this summer. My 4-year-old son Conrad ventured into the realm of gymnastics, where he cried so much the first day that I had to perform some gymnastics…

Jerk of the Week: Walter Gymnast It feels like my kids were born yesterday, but it’s been much longer than that. My son Conrad just turned four-and-a-half, while my daughter Lilly will be three in August. They’re growing up before my very eyes, which means I have to engage them in more things. This year’s…