Humor – WalterFootball

Humor

Jerks of the Week – April 28, 2025

Walt6 days ago2 days ago013 mins

Jerk of the Week: Sweatshirts, Mac-and-Cheese, and the Lady in the Yellow Dress There are many things I took for granted prior to having children. For example, I’ve written about going to restaurants in a recent entry. Restaurants have become such an unknown phenomenon to me that I confused a regular patron with a hostess,…

Humor

Jerks of the Week – April 21, 2025

Walt2 weeks ago1 week ago018 mins

Jerk of the Week: The Wiley Ballard Cat Ladies If you’ve been paying attention, you’re well aware that we’re enduring a population crisis in America. And no, I’m not referring to overpopulation. Blue-haired weirdos living in $4,000-per-month, roach-infested cramped apartments may think otherwise, but we don’t have too many people. Some of these strange individuals…

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Jerks of the Week – April 14, 2025

Walt2 weeks ago2 weeks ago016 mins

Jerk of the Week: Easter Egg Hunt 2025: Potential for Domination My wife asked me a silly question a few days ago: “Are you going to the Easter egg hunt this year?” Was I going!? I wouldn’t have missed it for the world! After all, it was two years in the making, as my son…

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Jerks of the Week – April 7, 2025

Walt4 weeks ago3 weeks ago012 mins

Jerk of the Week: The Big Shot and the Free Kite I had a disturbing dream recently. I dreamt that some sort of witch doctor kidnapped my 19-month-old daughter and turned her into a wooden doll. I tried everything to reanimate her, but I failed at every attempt. I even had to enlist the assistance…

Jerks of the Week – March 31, 2025

Walt1 month ago1 month ago017 mins

Jerk of the Week: Punching People at Nifty Fifty’s My favorite restaurant on the entire planet is Nifty Fifty’s. I’m sure hoity-toity people who wear scarves and spend $50 at an expensive coffee shop every day will scoff at that. They’ll claim that their favorite restaurant is something called Chez Pierre Mon Frere where you…

Jerks of the Week – March 24, 2025

Walt1 month ago1 month ago018 mins

Jerk of the Week: The Janitorial Journalist I’ve published several Jerks of the Week columns on morons I’ve encountered on social media. From Ross Avila, to Jerry Jackson, to various randos on Twitter, I’ve chronicled the stupidity of many people over the course of more than a decade. This latest individual, whom I’ve dubbed the…

Jerks of the Week – March 17, 2025

Walt2 months ago1 month ago014 mins

Jerk of the Week: Dinner at Dairy Queen It’s baffling to me that corporations worth billions of dollars will often do asinine things. You’d think such big companies would be run by the best and the brightest, but that is not the case at all. In fact, many are operated by the dumbest and the…

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Jerks of the Week – March 10, 2025

Walt2 months ago2 months ago014 mins

Jerk of the Week: An Ode to Around the Horn I used to have a friend named Andy. We swam on the same club team growing up. We were also both huge fans of the 5 p.m. block on ESPN. This was more than 20 years ago when Around the Horn initially began airing ahead…

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Jerks of the Week – March 3, 2025

Walt2 months ago2 months ago013 mins

Jerk of the Week: Lindsey the Cat Lady Long ago, I used to date this girl Emily, whom I used to refer to as Awesome Girl Who Loves Football on this Web site. I was not joking when I said she loved football. She could name the score of games from years ago and detail…

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Jerks of the Week – Feb. 24, 2025

Walt2 months ago2 months ago015 mins

Jerk of the Week: The Magically Appearing Parmesan Cheese My son just turned three, yet he knows what the word “spammer” means. This is because no one calls my phone except for spammers and my mom. Nearly every time I get a call, I’ll look to see that it’s a spammer, and I’ll immediately cancel…