Jerks of the Week - April 27, 2015





Jerks of the Week: April 27, 2015


JERK OF THE WEEK: Gym Jerks - with Pictures!

It has occurred to me that you may not believe everything I write - particularly when it comes to making fun of the people at my gym. If I'm right, I don't blame you. How can there be a crazy homeless woman who constantly paces around the pool, a guy in his 20s with no friends who zips up little boys' pants, and an old man willing to both insult my profession and pimp out his granddaughter to me, all at one location? That definitely sounds like a work of fiction.

I'd like to ask you all to believe me that these and other crazy individuals frequent my gym, but there's a better way to earn your trust. I've been inspired by the episode of Boy Meets World in which Eric asks Jack if he has pictures of his trip to China he's planning on writing about and then responding to the negative answer, "Then you got nothin'!" So, with that in mind, I've decided to put pictures of my gym into this jerks entry.

Now, as you can imagine, snapping pictures of strange people can be quite difficult. You can't just walk up to someone, flip out your phone, press the camera button and take a picture of them. This is especially difficult at the gym, when I don't have my phone on me most of the time because I'm either swimming or taking a dip in the hot tub (**). It'd be great if my phone happened to be waterproof, but unfortunately, that's not the case.

(**) By hot tub, I mean kiddie pool. You see, there's a very shallow pool next to the lap pool which is normally heated to 104 degrees. Old men and little kids share it, which sounds like a scene from To Catch a Predator. But that's exactly who goes into it - assuming it's even open. This "hot tub" is frequently broken; in fact, they recently closed it for two weeks because the water was an odd shade of yellow. It's almost like a bunch of people peed in it. I assume the old men had more to do with that than the kids.

It's also difficult to take a picture of people who are self-aware. Take Grandpa Pimp, for instance. He might be crazy, but he would at least notice if I tried to snap a picture of him in the locker room. He'd either report me to management to get my membership revoked, or try to get me to marry his ugliest granddaughter instead of his prettiest one. I'm not sure which would be worse.

Before I show you my pictures, I have to mention that I did have another encounter with Grandpa Pimp recently. Wearing a strange necklace with the Pi symbol on it, he walked up to me and initiated a conversation.

Grandpa Pimp: Let me talk to you for a second, young man.

Me: Sure.

Grandpa Pimp: You are a journalist, am I right?

Me: Sort of, yeah.

Grandpa Pimp: My youngest granddaughter - she's very stupid.

Me: Oh... really?

Grandpa Pimp: Yes. She wants to study journalism in London. I tell her she is stupid. She don't need journalism! Who needs journalism?

Me: Well, there are definitely ways to make a good living...

Grandpa Pimp: She don't need journalism! She needs a nice, young man to marry.

Me: Well, if she doesn't want to have a career, then I guess.

Grandpa Pimp: What does she need a career for? She needs a nice, young man. You are a nice, young man...

Me: Uhh... thanks?

Grandpa Pimp: Let me show you a picture of my youngest granddaughter. She's very stupid, but very beautiful.

He revealed the same picture as last time, and sure enough, he was right. Well, at least the part about her looks. I don't know how stupid she can be if she has aspirations to study her desired profession in London, but whatever...

Me: Yeah, she's pretty.

Grandpa Pimp: You are a nice, young man, and you are a journalist! You are also very successful! She can marry you, and you can hire her to be a journalist!

Me: Wait... what?

Grandpa Pimp: You would be a great husband for her! You are very successful, and you can hire her!

I'm not sure when Granda Pimp hatched this plan, but it seemed flawless in his mind. Sure, this random guy he met at the gym can marry his stupid granddaughter and also sleep with her so she rises to the top of his company. That makes a ton of sense!

Grandpa Pimp: My eldest granddaughter, she's even more beautiful, yes?

Me: Sure.

Grandpa Pimp: You cannot marry her. Because she's smart. Do you know what she does for a living?

Me: No clue.

Grandpa Pimp: Nothing! She does nothing! She found a nice, young man, and she married him. She's very smart!

So, according to this geezer, a woman's intelligence is measured by her willingness to settle down and marry at an early age. She can be a shark lawyer, a renowned doctor, or a scientist attempting to make world-changing discoveries - but all of that doesn't matter if she doesn't find a "nice, young man" to wed as soon as possible.




Unfortunately, I have no pictures of Grandpa Pimp, and I'm not sure I could even post them for legality purposes. I can show other members, however, if I'm discrete about it.

Take Homeless Clown Woman, for instance. This lady, who walks around the pool a dozen times in a row and believes she's being spied on by the government, apparently thinks she works at my gym. I'm not making this up. She's crazy enough to believe that she's a gym employee. I recently saw her reordering newspapers near the front desk. They were all the same, so I have no idea what she thought she was doing. I tried to flip out my phone, but by the time I accessed my camera, it was too late - she had already started down the hallway toward her next meaningless task.

Of course, Homeless Clown Woman is referred to by other monikers. I'm sure she was given a real name by her parents upon birth. Perhaps the real gym employees call her Milton Waddams...



I know of someone who refers to her as the Grudge as well. The reason? When Homeless Clown Woman "works out," all she does is lean forward on the exercise bike and stare down at the floor. Her long, nappy hair covers up her entire face, just like the monster chick from the Grudge. Don't believe me? Here's proof:



Is that scary, or what? I'm almost terrified that Homeless Clown Woman is going to crawl out of the shadows, grab me and force me to walk around the pool with her a dozen times.

It makes me sad that I didn't capture a picture of Homeless Grudge Woman's face. I don't think I would've been liable for any sort of lawsuit because she's crazy and probably has no clue what's going on around her. At the same time, however, I believe I have spared you all from looking at her hideous, makeup-ridden face. Showing her ugly mug on here would've certainly caused some of you readers to suffer a heart attack, or at least a mild stroke. So, for those of you who are overweight and have health issues, you're welcome.

As you can probably tell, Homeless Grudge Woman wasn't exactly having an intense workout. She was, however, exercising much harder than someone else at the weight room on this particular day. Don't believe me? Here's proof:



Wow. This guy sure puts the "work" in workout. A 30-minute nap is exactly what he needs to trim that belly fat and develop that six-pack he's been yearning for throughout his entire, long life.

And I'm not joking about the 30-minute bit. He was actually asleep for half an hour. I bench pressed, did my triceps, worked out my biceps and even took pictures with my phone, and he was snoozing the entire time.

Seriously, how do you fall asleep at the gym? You go there to work out; if you're tired, why not just take a nap on the couch? Well, at least this guy was on a stupid leg machine that no one cares about. It would've totally sucked if he had dozed off on the gym's one-and-only bicep curl seat.

And yes, there's only one bicep curl seat for some reason. I'm confident that I didn't have to take a picture of that for proof. I figured this would make sense to you upon seeing what two of my fellow gym patrons look like.






I'm actually beginning to think there's something special about my gym. And by "special," I'm not just referring to the sort of special that parents call their glue-eating child. Oh, no. My gym is on the brink of medical breakthroughs, despite the fact that there's only one bicep curl seat and half the members are either ghastly monsters or asleep elderly men. My gym is actually one of the world leaders in curing a disease. Don't believe me? Here's proof:



This is a bottle I found just sitting on a shelf near the desk in my weight room. The desk was unattended - there's never anyone working there - so I just picked up this bottle, which caught my eye.

It disinfects... AIDS? Huh? And it's just sitting on a forgotten shelf of my gym's weight room? How is this even possible?

Why hasn't anyone working at the gym realized that there's a cure for AIDS just laying around? Shouldn't they be calling Scientific American so they can sell it and buy, I don't know, a second bicep curl seat? Or how about something to keep the kiddie hot tub pool from turning yellow all the time? Does this spray not work on the yellow water? Why would it disinfect AIDS and not old-man urine?

Oh, and by the way, this spray disinfects herpes and Polio too! Getting rid of herpes is cool, but not Polio, because as Duke University recently discovered, Polio is the cure for cancer. So, owners of my gym, if you are reading this, it would be great if you developed a Miracle Spray 2.0 to get rid of everything on there except Polio. And while you're at it, can you make sure it disinfects Ebola and old-man urine, too? Thanks!

I was actually befuddled why my gym has a strong spray like this until I recalled how disgusting the place can be. Just last week, I walked by the bathroom on the pool deck, and I had to cover my nose because the stench emanating from there was so foul. I figured Homeless Grudge Woman or some other member was taking a nasty crap in there, so I just went into the kiddie hot tub pool, as I usually do after my workout.

About 20 minutes later, I walked by the bathroom, and the smell was even worse. It dawned on me that an old gym member may have died in there, and that the stench was from a rotting corpse. I knocked on the door, and when I didn't hear a response, I opened it against my better judgment. What I saw was even worse than a rotting corpse. Don't believe me? Here's proof:



Yeah... there was literally s*** running down the wall from the ceiling on both sides. The bathroom right above this one must have been leaking, which would explain how fecal matter from there was getting into this one. The s*** even reached the paper-towel dispenser, so all of the towels in there were covered in brown crap. It was so disgusting that I nearly vomited everywhere.

I told the lifeguard about it, and she contacted maintenance. Some guy who looked like he was stoned came down 10 minutes later. I couldn't believe the lone sentence he said to her:

"I'll grab a bucket so it doesn't drip onto the floor."

Wow, way to come up with a great solution! That'll definitely stop poop from reaching this bathroom! Unfortunately, he must have forgotten, because he never brought down a bucket to "fix" this problem.

My guess is that he told Homeless Clown Woman to do it, but she never got the job done because she thought the government was spying on her again. That would explain why she paced around the pool a dozen times that afternoon. Unfortunately, I was not able to produce a picture of that.

LOADING COMMENTS...



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Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2013: Jerks of Philadelphia International Airport
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2013: Jerks of Bowling Night
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2013: Jerks of Tango: Where They'll Be in 2020
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2013: One Final Night at Tango
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




NFL Picks - Sept. 20


2018 NFL Mock Draft - Sept. 14


Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 6


2018 NBA Mock Draft - Aug. 23


2019 NFL Mock Draft - June 1


NFL Power Rankings - May 5









 





 

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