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Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011




Jerks of the Week for Feb. 28, 2011


JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Friday Night Out

I spend thousands of hours working on this Web site every week, so I don't get to go out often. It's fine. I love my job, and I'm fine with the sacrifice I have to make. And besides, after spending six years at Penn State, my liver would probably have a heart attack if I continued to drink as much as I did at college.

I was able to go out two weeks ago. My BFF Josh took the train up to Feasterville. Even though the train station is across the street from my development, he asked me to pick him up. Wuss. I wouldn't have cared, except that a bum blocked the exit of the train station for five minutes as he slumped over and scoured the sidewalk for half-filled beer bottles. Have I mentioned how much I hate bums?

After defeating Josh in a thrilling heads-up poker battle - yeah, we're cool like that - we decided to head out to my local bar, Whiskey Tango. You can click the link to read all about Whiskey Tango, but here's a quick recap:

  • Their patrons include gray-bearded bikers, KKK members and dudes who like to "wrastle."

  • The music is awfully loud and loudly awful.

  • Douche bags who think their brides are ugly get married there.

  • Pirates who molest skinny girls often search for Whiskey Tango, but can't locate the bar.

    Josh and I were forced to pay $8 each for Whiskey Tango's ridiculous cover charge. As soon as I handed over my mortgage payment, the guy at the door asked us if we were there to see the band on stage.

    Ugh. I hate bands. I have nothing against a group of guys playing some songs together - not that there's anything wrong with that - but bands at bars typically suck. They play obnoxiously loud crappy music and no one can hear each other talk.

    The band that was playing at Whiskey Tango that night absolutely sucked. I forget what they were called, but they were wearing weird black-white-and-red makeup. And I wouldn't say they were singing anything either. It was more yelling than anything. Here's a sample of what their music sounded like:

    "RAWWRRR BLARRBLARRBLARR BLAAHAHHHDHDHAHAHA BLEEEEERRRRRBLAAAARRRR BLOOORRRRRRR BLAAAHHHA BRRYYYAAAN BUULLAAAGGAAA GGRRRRAWWWWRRRR HRRRRRAAAAARRRRRAAAAHAHAHA!!!"

    I tried searching iTunes for that song, but nothing came up. Damn it.

    It wasn't just the band that was scary; I would say 90 percent of the people at Whiskey Tango that night were wearing similar makeup to support the band. Seriously, there were chicks walking around looking like zombies, evil clowns and Amy Winehouse. I tried to discuss this with Josh.

    Me: These people are scary-looking.

    Josh: Shut up, dude, you're going to get us beat up.

    *** Like I said, Josh is a wuss. ***

    Me: No one's going to get beat up. Ugh, why do these girls look like monsters?

    Josh: Shhhhhh!!! You're going to get stabbed!

    I didn't have the opportunity to get stabbed because we left for another bar. Two girls asked us to come out to Paddy Whacks (off the Boulevard in Northeast Philly). My only regret is not being able to hear the band's next hit single, "BRUBRUBRU RRAAAAKAKAKA DRRROOOOO ZZZZWWWAHAHAHA."

    Paddy Whacks was much better. There was no scary band. There was no coverage charge. Hell, there wasn't even anyone at the front door checking IDs. Josh and I just walked in.

    After about an hour of drinking and talking, I went to the bathroom. I went into a stall because it was the only thing open. Right after I shut the door, I overheard one of the most nonsensical conversations of all time:

    Manayunk Man: Yo man, Manayunk's the s*** man! You ever been to Manayunk man? It's the s*** man! Manayunk's the s***!

    Random Guy: Yeah I've been to Manayunk.

    Manayunk Man: I've been tryin' foreva to get my friends to go to Manayunk, man. They don't understand how Manayunk's the s*** man.

    Random Guy: Thaz crazy.

    Manayunk Man: I don't understand it, man. How come my friends don't understand that Manayunk's the s***? I don't get it.

    Random Guy: Me neither.

    Manayunk Man: You never believe this man. Last weekend I got stuck workin'. Cleanin' pipes and s***. And guess where my friends finally went to?

    Let me guess, Manayunk?

    Manayunk Man: The mountains!

    What!? Your story makes no sense. With a buildup like that, the answer is supposed to be Manayunk!

    Random Guy: Thaz crazy.

    Manayunk Man: Yeah man, do you believe that s***?

    I can't. How dare your friends go up to the mountains? I can only imagine this discussion...

    Manayunk Man: Yo mans, I gotta clean pipes and s*** this weekend.

    Friend A: That's too bad.

    Friend B: Yeah, we were going to go up to the mountains. It would be ironic if we went to Manayunk without you, but you are too small-minded to understand irony.

    Friend C: Agreed. And it's too bad that constantly drinking yourself into oblivion has prevented you from finding a better job than cleaning pipes.

    Manayunk Man: Yo mans, cleaning pipes is the s*** man. What's even more the s*** is Manayunk. You gotta go to Manayunk this weekend man. Manayunk's the s***. It's so much s*** you can't even understand how much s*** Manayunk is.

    Friend A: Meh. If you were sober once in a while we'd believe you.

    Friend B: And spoke proper grammar. Seriously, dude, "mans" is not a word. And can you please not say the S-word once in a while?

    Friend C: We're definitely going to the mountains. Sorry.

    Manayunk Man: I can't believe this s*** mans. I don't understand how you don't understand Manayunk is the s***!

    Hey, at least Manayunk Man isn't asking you to go to Whiskey Tango. After listening to that horrible music and almost getting stabbed, Manayunk actually does sound like the s*** in comparison.






    JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 2: Saturday at the Gym

    We had a mini-after party at my house after the bar closed. I didn't get to sleep until 8 a.m., and I woke up at 1. Despite the fact that I felt like a zombie, I mustered enough energy to go to the gym. Big mistake.

    I've mentioned before that my gym rents out the basketball courts to communist soccer players. Instead of the traditional Mongolian soccer losers, little snot-nosed kids are playing there now. They begin their games at 4, so I figured if I got to the gym at 3, I'd be able to play for an hour.

    Unfortunately, my plans were thwarted because both courts were full. One side featured guys a lot taller and athletic than me (i.e. not white people). The other side was comprised of several weirdos, including:

    Will Smith's Kid: I don't know if this was really Will Smith's son or not, but Josh saw him and immediately exclaimed, "Look, it's Will Smith's kid!" This guy looked exactly like that douche bag from that awful Karate Kid remake. I believe anyone associated with that remake should be stoned in public.

    Disproportional Man: One of the weirdest-looking people I've ever seen, Disproportional Man is a 5-foot-2 Mexican whose head is about 2-and-a-half feet in diameter. I wish I were making this up. He also wears high socks and jacks up threes at every opportunity. Not the most fun person to play basketball with.

    Lurch: A tall, chubby kid who always has a vacant expression on his face. His "friends" always criticize him. The problem is that he moves very slowly, so when he's not quick enough to react to a rebound, his "friends" yell, "Get the f***ing rebound dude, what the hell is wrong with you!?" But Lurch doesn't react; instead he just stares back, seemingly thinking, "Derrrrrr."

    Cherry Picker: I hate - HATE - playing basketball with this dude. He's short (about 5-3) and always wears designer shirts to the gym. During the games, he never - NEVER - gets back on defense, opting to stay at the other end instead. Once the opposing team scores or misses a shot, he raises his hand for a pass. Since no one thinks to guard him, he always gets the easy layup.

    I didn't want to play basketball with these a**holes, so I waited to see if a court would clear up. It didn't happen, and before I knew it, it was 4 o'clock. Stupid kids ran into the gym and began kicking soccer balls around (not that there's anything wrong with that).

    Meanwhile, their ridiculous parents wore matching clothes to support their children. For example, the parents on the orange team all donned orange t-shirts or orange hoodies. Again, this is some stupid soccer league for 8-year-old kids on a basketball court. Am I wrong, or is this just a little insane?

    And just when I thought the parents were bad, I overheard a conversation between two Mongolians who wearing colorful soccer jerseys and observing the kids.

    Mongolian Soccer Fan: Hello, Armeet. How are you?

    Armeet: Good, good. How are you, my friend?

    Mongolian Soccer Fan: Good.

    Armeet: Blue Team look strong this year.

    Mongolian Soccer Fan: Yes. Look very strong. Blue Team will beat Red Team today.

    Are you f***ing kidding me? Two grown men are analyzing an 8-year-old soccer league? Can someone please deport these douche bags now?

    Completely frustrated, I went upstairs to swim. I knew I had a half hour because the pool closes at 4:30 on Saturdays.

    Well, it used to. As I walked out of the locker room, I noticed that all the fat ladies were rolling out of the pool and into the locker room. I went to the lifeguard just to make sure...

    Me: Hey man, the pool closes at 4:30, right?

    Lifeguard: Nah, 4:00.

    Me: Are you serious? I thought it was 4:30.

    Lifeguard: It used to be, but they changed it.

    Ugh. Closing the pool a half hour early so you can avoid paying $8 to the lifeguard? That's awesome, gym. Way to go. What's the matter, are the communist soccer families and weirdo Mongolians not driving in enough revenue?




    JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 3: Sunday at the Gym

    The pool closes at 4 on Sunday as well, so I wanted to make sure I got to the gym around 3 so I could get my mile in. I watched the Ohio State-Purdue basketball game instead, however, so I didn't leave my house until 3:20.

    I walked into the gym at 3:35. The girl working the front desk was a Russian brunette who would look pretty cute if she didn't have a mustache. I've known her for a while, so I just waved hello to her and walked toward the door. This didn't fly with her.

    Russian Mustache Chick: You have to swipe your gym ID!

    Me: What? But you know who I am.

    Russian Mustache Chick: It doesn't matter. You still need to swipe your card.

    Me: But you know I'm a member here. The pool's closing in 25 minutes!

    My friend Dale, who also just walked into the building, overheard our conversation and intervened.

    Dale (sarcastically): Don't you know who that is? That's Walter Football. He has a sign downstairs.

    Russian Mustache Chick: I don't care.

    Dale: But he pays for like four memberships.

    Russian Mustache Chick: It doesn't matter. Everyone's the same.

    Dale (now growing frustrated): What do you mean it doesn't matter? He's helping to keep this place open.

    Russian Mustache Chick: He has to scan his ID! Everyone's the same.

    I had enough of this nonsense. She's known me for years. Hell, she saw me swipe my card last week. The pool was closing soon, thanks to the gym's ridiculous hours, and I wasn't going to spend five minutes fishing through my bag just to find my ID. So, I just walked in and ignored her pleas. Take that, you mustachioed communist!

    With only 20 minutes to swim, I managed about three quarters of a mile. Not bad. As I was getting dressed, the conversation I had with Russian Mustache Chick reminded me that my sign agreement expires in March. The guy who runs the gym is also in charge of the 18-and-over basketball leagues on Sunday, so I went downstairs to talk to him.

    I last played in these basketball leagues in 2005. I haven't done so since because the games are on Sunday, which conflicts with my football schedule. That, and I suck at shooting, passing and dribbling.

    As I strolled into the gym, I quickly realized how different the leagues were. Back when I played, most teams were comprised of 5-foot-10 Russian computer engineers and 6-foot-1 Indian doctors. Now, it's nothing but ex-cons.

    The first play I saw was an offensive foul. This obscenely large white man (6-4, 280) with tattoos running down both his arms rammed into a smaller black man. The ref, a white guy with a robotic leg, called White Ex-Con for a charge. White Ex-Con turned to the handicapped official and began yelling, "How the f*** is that a foul? How the f*** is that a foul, ref?"

    Umm... I don't know... maybe because you bodyslammed the other guy?

    White Ex-Con continued, following the referee around, "Call it both ways, ref. Call it both ways!!!"

    The referee looked like he s*** his pants. He was terrified. And I can't blame him. If a 6-foot-4, 280-pound monstrosity who spent countless years in prison was leering at me, I'd probably soil my pants too.

    I waited until the game was over to approach the guy running the gym.

    Me: Hey, I need to pay you to have the sign up for another year. How much is it going to be?

    Gym Coordinator: I don't know.

    Me: You don't know? Do you have any sort of idea?

    Gym Coordinator: I don't know.

    What? OK, I guess I just won't pay for it then? It's a good thing this guy doesn't work at Best Buy or anything...

    Me: Hey, I want to buy this 56-inch LED HDTV. How much is it?

    Gym Coordinator: I don't know.

    Me: What do you mean, you don't know?

    Gym Coordinator: I don't know.

    Me: Well, I really want to buy it. How can I buy it if I don't know the price?

    Gym Coordinator: I don't know.

    Me: Maybe I should steal it. Or maybe I'll hire some ex-cons from your league to steal it for me.

    Gym Coordinator: I don't know.

    To be fair, Gym Coordinator was pretty preoccupied. In fact, right after the second "I don't know," he got up and walked quickly to his office.

    I'm guessing he probably realized he forgot to put on his bulletproof vest. That, or Russian Mustache Chick just texted him and asked if he had seen her mustache comb anywhere.




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    Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
    Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
    Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
    Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
    Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
    Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
    Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
    Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
    Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
    Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
    Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
    Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
    Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
    Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
    Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
    Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
    Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
    Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
    Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
    Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
    Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
    Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
    Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
    Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
    Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
    Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
    Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
    Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
    Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
    Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
    Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
    Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
    Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
    Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
    Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
    Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
    Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
    Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
    Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
    Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
    Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
    Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
    Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
    Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
    Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
    Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




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    2016 NFL Mock Draft - July 24


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