Jerks of the Week - Nov. 3, 2014





Jerks of the Week: Nov. 3, 2014


JERK OF THE WEEK: Kyoto and Japanese Food

The development I live in is fairly new. It was being constructed when I first moved into my current house, back in June 2010. It used to be a golf course, so naturally, my dog would always dig up golf balls in my backyard. That is, of course, until I built a deck, and now he can't dig up anything! That'll show him!

The two shopping centers near my house are new too. I'll discuss one of them another time, but I want to focus on the one that has the Bottom Dollar in it. When they had originally completed the Bottom Dollar, they had space for three stores. All of this is within walking distance from my home, so I was eager to see what they would put in there.

The possibilities were endless. Perhaps they'd have a pizza place. Or maybe a cheesesteak joint. Or how about somewhere to get ice cream? What about a Gamestop or a comic book store? Or, how about a Blockbuster? I could rent movies, and stuff, and it would be so cool.

My heart sank when they initially posted signs for two of the three tenants. One would be a nail salon. I can now walk over and get their mani-pedi special for just $24.99. Then again, I can just whip out my trusty nail clippers and cut my nails. For free. What a terrible scam. Nail salons are up there with the prince who e-mails you from Somalia, telling you that his royal parents have been assassinated, and that he needs YOU to smuggle $50 million U.S. into your country. Come to think of it, the owners of nail salons are probably the ones sending out these e-mails - as if stealing money for cutting nails wasn't enough of a con job.

The other tenant was even worse - a restaurant named Kyoto bought the place. Kyoto, if you couldn't tell, is "Tokyo" with the letters rearranged. I figured this out myself. And thank God that I did - otherwise, I would've gone in, thinking it was some normal restaurant, and then I would've died of disappointment once I saw what type of food they were serving me.

I hate Asian food, and Japanese food - mainly sushi - is like the Rosie O'Donnell of fat chicks. It's even disgusting than all the others. I don't get why anyone would want to eat raw fish. It sounds like another con job to me. I can only imagine the conversation the Japanese had prior to bringing sushi over to America�

Japanese President: Attention arr! Attention arr! I hate America for bombing us after we attack Pearr Harbor! We need a revenge!

Japanese Advisor: How about we get some a raw fish, terr Americans this is a dericious Japanese cuisine, and then we raugh when American eat disgusting a raw fish!?

Japanese President: What a stupid idea! No individuar in their right mind would eat a disgusting raw fish!

Japanese Advisor: Trust me, Mr. President, American riberar wourd try anything! They want to try everything so they think they worrdry and curturred!

Japanese President: So it a settred. We make American eat disgusting raw fish and then we make a foor out of them and raugh at them so hard.

As you can see, if you eat sushi, you've been foored - I mean fooled - by the evil Japanese president. While we're here, eating disgusting Japanese food, the Japanese people are living the life, eating McDonald's, KFC and Taco Bell each night in their home country. And instead of watching normal TV shows like we do, they have footage captured by hidden cameras of Americans eating disgusting raw fish. They raugh all night until it's time for bed.

The Japanese president's plan worked brilliantly, as Americans are ceaselessly devouring disgusting raw fish. I know this because Kyoto has been very successful; they had to expand, so they took the third, empty building right near Bottom Dollar, so they were able to double the size of their establishment.

I was highly disappointed by this until they built the second shopping center, but that's a story for another time. I want to focus on Kyoto in this entry because my sister decided that she wanted to have her birthday dinner there. Here was my reaction to it�

Mom: We have to go out for your sister's birthday on Thursday.

Me: OK, I guess I'll DVR the Thursday night game. Where are we going?

Mom: That Japanese place right by your house. I think it's called Kyoto.

Me: KYOTO!?!?!?!? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!! I'LL DO ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT KYOTO!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

I then proceeded to vomit all of the floor.




Unfortunately, my sister's birthday arrived before I knew it. I made sure to DVR the game, and then my girlfriend and I walked over to Kyoto. "I'm not going to like anything there, so can we go to Wawa afterward?" I asked.

I was not in a happy mood when we entered the restaurant. We found my parents, my sister and her boyfriend Rich sitting by the hibachi bar, or whatever you call it. Rich instantly offered me some red wine.

Me: Nah, no thanks, I hate wine.

Mom: We have some white wine. Don't you like that better?

Me: I hate all wine, but I guess white is less offensive.

Rich laughed when I said white wine was less offensive because I was being a dick, but like I said, I was in a grumpy mood. And yes, wine does suck. It just doesn't taste good. It's all warm, and it feels like you're drinking urine. And trust me, I know what urine tastes like. It's almost exactly like wine. I'd rather have a cold, refreshing drink; not a urine facsimile. I'd get into how the evil French conned us into drinking wine, but that's for another entry.

Perhaps I'd have more luck with the food? I flipped open the menu and scanned the first two pages.

Me: This is bulls***, where are the cheeseburgers!?

Girlfriend: They don't serve them here.

Me: Why not!? The Japanese are smart; they should've invented cheeseburgers by now.

Girlfriend: Oh, don't look at those two pages. Or those two. Or those two. You won't like anything on them.

She was right. These pages contained nothing but sushi options. They had four freaking pages of sushi. That just seemed crazy to me. How many ways can you serve raw fish? The Japanese president really did a number on the American people. I checked the ceiling for hidden cameras, but couldn't locate them.

My girlfriend told me to keep flipping through pages in this menu, which was long enough to be the sixth book in the Game of Thrones series. I think I saw a character die in one of the pages.

As for the actual food items, nothing made sense to me. It was all gibberish. I could've sworn I saw "sacrificed cat" on the menu, but there was no way in hell I was going to try that.

It seemed like hours, but we finally reached the back of the menu. "You'll like these," my girlfriend said, pointing to the hibachi. I saw options for steak and shrimp, chicken and shrimp, chicken and vegetables, etc. I normally would've been relieved, but the whole hibachi thing is a scam too. The last time I had hibachi, they gave me vegetables with my chicken and shrimp hibachi, which was disastrous.

Fortunately, my girlfriend offered to eat the vegetables I didn't want off my plate and give some of her chicken to me, so I told the waiter I wanted the chicken and shrimp hibachi. He took the menu from me, looking rather displeased that I didn't order any of the sushi. I would've told him to tell the Japanese president to go f*** himself, but then they'd know that I had discovered their dirty secret about sushi.






Our meals came with soup and salad. I enjoy soup and salad prior to dinner, but most definitely not Japanese soup and salad. Well, the former wasn't too bad. The broth itself was decent, but there were these weird white cubes floating around in it. I avoided them at all cost, knowing full well that it could be one of three things:

1. Poison - It is a Japanese restaurant, after all, and they want revenge for Hiroshima.

2. Sacrificed Cat Hairballs - Mashed into cubes, of course, so no one would suspect that they're eating sacrificed cat hair.

3. Sushi Bits - I bet their live studio audience would get a big raugh if I swallowed them!

The salad, on the other hand, was something I didn't touch. I just handed it to my girlfriend. That's because it came with some weird salad dressing that was apparently ginger. I asked if they had Ranch or Caesar dressing, but people looked at me like I was an idiot. What? Any restaurant that doesn't carry Ranch or Caesar should lose its license to sell food.

It was eventually time for the hibachi guy to start doing his thing. He twirled his knives, forks and meat cleavers in the air like some magician. Everyone was amazed, but I was more focused on what he had in his tray. He had two red and two yellow squeeze bottles. That meant one thing - he had ketchup and mustard available as condiments!

Now, I actually hate mustard, so I was more excited about the prospect of having ketchup with my dinner. I love ketchup, and I'll eat it with anything. When I was a little kid, I had ketchup sandwiches. I just took two pieces of bread, smeared ketchup onto both of them and stuffed the sandwich into my mouth. It was delicious.

Ketchup would totally work with both shrimp and chicken. Granted, I'd prefer cocktail sauce for the former, but ketchup would suffice. I was happy for the first time all night, so you can imagine my disappointment when he squeezed the red and yellow bottles, and clear liquid came out.

I wanted to scream again. How could they do this to me? You can't have red and yellow bottles and not fill them with ketchup and mustard, respectively. That's sacrilegious. Why not put the clear liquid into a clear bottle? Why torture me like this? Why!?

The hibachi guy finished cooking the food in front of us soon enough. I was one of two people to order shrimp, so he put a sizeable portion of it onto my plate and then another one onto the other person's plate. And then he did something I'll never forget - he gave the remaining shrimp to everyone else.

OK� this just meant everyone would get small portions of everything, right? That's what I thought when he divvied up the chicken and vegetables similarly. It had me wondering what the point of ordering "chicken and shrimp hibachi" was - until I saw what he did with the steak. My dad was the only one who ordered steak with his hibachi, but instead of offering the steak to everyone, the hibachi guy dumped every single piece of steak onto my dad's plate.

What the f***!? How is that remotely fair? If everyone gets some of my shrimp, then I should get some of everyone's steak. It's f***ing bulls***!

I ate my dinner is misery. It helped that my girlfriend and I exchanged the vegetables and meat, as we agreed to earlier, but I still didn't feel as though I had enough shrimp. I eyed my dad's steak enviously.

The hibachi douche returned later and offered to squirt some Sake into everyone's mouth. I declined because I had to work after dinner, and I didn't trust him anyway. I suspected that this was just sacrificed cat urine, and I became more confident in my prediction once he started peer pressuring me into having some Sake. He asked me like five times and even called me a sissy for not having anyway. I wanted to tell him to go f*** himself, but he would've likely stripped off his cooking outfit and revealed his ninja gear and beat me up. So, I just kept saying that I had to go to work later.

Before we left, the staff gave my sister some ice cream because it was her birthday. It was basically just vanilla ice cream with whipped cream and sprinkles. I was so angry that I didn't get any - I even thought about shouting out that it was my birthday too - until my sister announced that she didn't want it because her stomach wasn't feeling right. I grabbed it before she could offer it to anyone else, and I stuffed the ice cream into my mouth.

NOM NOM NOM, ICE CREAM, NOM NOM NOM.

By the time I was more than halfway done, I realized that I was no longer hungry. The ice cream did the trick, so I didn't have to go to Wawa anymore. And to top it off, I would escape Kyoto without eating any sacrificed cat parts or, more importantly, raw fish.

As I stuffed a spoonful of delicious ice cream into my mouth, I looked up at the ceiling and at the hidden cameras. I smiled because I knew that I had the rast raugh.

LOADING COMMENTS...



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Jerks of the Week - April 15, 2013: Jerks of New Computer Day
Jerks of the Week - April 8, 2013: Jerks of Walnut Grove
Jerks of the Week - April 1, 2013: April Fools and April Truths
Jerks of the Week - March 25, 2013: It's Not Complicated AT&T Commercials
Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2013: My Second Stalker, Jerks of the Old Gym Pool & Locker Room
Jerks of the Week - March 11, 2013: Blizzard of 2013
Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2013: Jerks of Tulane
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2013: Jerks of New Orleans
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2013: Jerks of Philadelphia International Airport
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2013: Jerks of Bowling Night
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2013: Jerks of Tango: Where They'll Be in 2020
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2013: One Final Night at Tango
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




NFL Picks - Sept. 20


2018 NFL Mock Draft - Sept. 14


Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 6


2018 NBA Mock Draft - Aug. 23


2019 NFL Mock Draft - June 1


NFL Power Rankings - May 5









 





 

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