Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009
Jerks of the Week for Aug. 3, 2009
When I posted my Jerks of the Week two Mondays ago, forum member mpg1995 suggested that I "should make Jerks of the Week more football-related."
My Jerks of the Week section will always be a place where I rant about all kinds of jerks, from my evil neighbor's kids, to fat men who steal my breadsticks. However, there was just way too much going on in the NFL to ignore this week, and I guess because this is a football site, I should acknowledge some of the NFL's jerks.
So, here you go, mpg1995. Your wish is granted this week. But for the rest of you, don't worry - I'll have a huge rant about Jolly Ranchers and other dumb things next week.
JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: ESPN
If you've been a long-time reader of this site, you might be thinking, "Oh no, here he goes again - yet another rant about how much ESPN sucks... and I bet he's going to mention NFL Primetime not being on the air anymore too."
Well, you're right. This is another rant about how much ESPN sucks, but for a completely different reason (though I'm willing to bet I go off on a tangent and mention NFL Primetime... let's see how many paragraphs I can go without doing so.)
Tragedy struck Philadelphia on Tuesday afternoon when Jim Johnson, one of the best defensive coordinators in NFL history, passed away after a long battle with cancer. When I announced the news on the forum, many members went to ESPN to hear about the news. All of them were disappointed.
Forget even covering Johnson's death; ESPN didn't even mention it for a while because it spent hours talking about Brett Favre's decision to re-re-retire - something I'll get to later. But the fact remains that many forum members pointed out that they wouldn't have even known about Johnson's death if it didn't flash on the bottom line.
I went to find out for myself if this was true. I tuned into ESPN News after coming home from the gym (no old, Russian cock-blocking perverts this time.) They mentioned nothing about it in the lead-in, but as soon as anchor Jonathan Coachman said, "There were tons of emotions around the NFL..." I thought he'd get into Johnson's death and I'd have nothing to write about.
I was wrong. They jumped into the completely boring and overplayed Favre story that spanned seven minutes of the 30-minute show. After that was done, the next logical step was to go into the Johnson death. Instead, they showed Rays-Yankees and Braves-Marlins highlights. That's right - they showed f***ing Braves-Marlins highlights before even mentioning Johnson's death!
ESPN News then indicated that it was cutting to a commercial break, but before then, the illiterate Coachman teased us with, "more Brett Favre news coming up!" I nearly debacled my TV.
ESPN has always sucked before, but they've reach a whole new level of ineptitude. It was completely irresponsible not to bring this story up, and the company should be ashamed of itself. Instead of doing a good job, ESPN gives us endless Favre coverage no one cares about, brought to you by a Jonathan Coachman character who can barely read off the teleprompter. Oh, and let's not forget about the cancellation of the real NFL Primetime, as well as the hiring of analysts who are morons (Emmitt, Michael Irvin, Keyshawn, Eric Young), incredibly annoying (Merril Hoge) or just really uninformed (Mark Schlereth, Trent Dilfer).
(Side note: I lasted 4.5 paragraphs without mentioning how ESPN debacled NFL Primetime. I'm very impressed with myself.)
If you're tired of reading my anti-ESPN rant, I don't blame you. Forum member Joey Potter was even more enraged than I was about the situation. Take a look:
You know, my family in the last 60 years has had more than a few run-ins with cancer and not all have won the fight. I've lost both a grandfather to cancer, a step father to leukemia, my dad was a 20 plus year survivor of bladder cancer before he died 3 years ago, my cousin has cancer, and two weeks ago we found out my great aunt who I am closer to than anyone else on the planet had a cancerous paulup removed from her chest and is going through kimo 5 days a week for the next six weeks. Then I turn into this site and see that Jim Johnson has died of cancer and I am extremely saddened that this terrible disease has claimed another life.
Then I tune in to ESPN and see everyone fawning over the news that Brett ****ing Favre is going to be doing absolutely nothing this year. They are making a big deal because a ****ing self serving prima donna is staying where he already was and doing absolutely **** when a man that is the best defensive mind football has seen in 20 years has died of Cancer. What the **** is wrong with those bastards! They should be spending those thirty five minutes they spend on that piece of **** honoring Johnson's life and career not on Favre's a** when he is not doing ****. That isn't news. That is a few seconds on a bottom line confirming what we already know. That really just pisses me off to no end that they would spend thirty plus minutes on that when a man who showed loyalty, integrity, and courage both in the sport and in life is dead of some terrible disease and he only gets what a minute dedicated to him. That is bull ****, absolute BULL ****!
Of course, Joey Potter and I are just two voices. What do we matter? Well, we're not the only ones who are disgruntled with ESPN. Here were some other comments made on Tuesday:
TheDustyFootPhilosopher: Wow, RIP. SHUT UP ABOUT FAVRE ESPN!!! Other stuff has happened.
SilentJaguar: Just terrible. Saw it on ESPN's Bottom Line while they're running the Favre non-story into the ground.
Wraith36444: I think the front page of ESPN says it all. Main story, Brett Favre, last seen throwing away a game to Andre Goodman. 7th Story on the right is the passing away of Johnson. Despicable ESPN. ESPN better make jerk of the week honors for this.
Descendency: The Favre love is ridiculous. The man dies and he can't even be the front story.
Mpg1995: Wow this hit me hard. I have lost all respect for ESPN now.
Eagles4Life: It's really despicable what ESPN and NFLN are doing.
Jetsfan857: Come on, ESPN, Jerks of the Week? Here's a better idea - ESPN for Jerks of the Month or Jerks of the Year.
And this was just from my forum... imagine how many other people are pissed off about this. ESPN has sunk to a whole new level - which before this week I didn't think was possible.
JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 2: Brett Favre
ESPN hasn't gotten the message, so hopefully they're reading this:
No one cares about Favre anymore. No one! Well, actually, that's a lie. There are seven people who care about Favre: Favre himself, his wife, his daughter, Peter King, Jared Allen, John Madden and the one delusional Viking fan who thought he'd make a positive impact on the team this year.
Forum member Injured Reserve had a great take on the aforementioned Favre coverage:
I do not even get why anyone cares about Favre anymore. I am so tired of all this. Jim Johnson coached with grace and when his cancer crept up on him, he graciously backed out of the spotlight to continue his fight. I am sad to see him go, the Eagles will not be the same without him. He deserved more time than a washed-up child, who has been overrated his entire career.
This quote epitomizes how annoying Favre has been:
"I truly, truly believe it's over," Favre said. "But if someone calls Nov. 1, who knows?"
Way to contradict yourself in the same sentence, you jerk. If it's over, it doesn't matter what happens on Nov. 1... and if you're planning on annoying everyone on Nov. 1, then it's not over. Just make up your damn f***ing mind!
In case you're one of the seven people I mentioned above, and you still don't know why Favre qualified as a Jerk of the Week, I'm going to treat the rest of this entry as if I were Favre:
I'm going to move on to the next Jerk of the Week now. Well... should I move on to the next jerk, or should I keep talking about this one? Not so sure. I'd ask my wife and daughter, but I'm just going to ignore what they say. But all right, I truly believe I'm done talking about this jerk, but when I start the next sentence, who knows what could happen? OK, I'm taking out my phone, and I just texted Peter King and told him that I'm done with this entry. Oh, but I should mention that I also texted my agent Bus Cook and told him that I'm not done. Oh gosh, I just don't know whether to keep typing or to stop. If I keep typing, I may not be able to finish this paragraph, but if I stop typing, I may want to start typing again, but by the time I stop, it might just be too late. Maybe I can stop typing now and start typing on Nov. 1. Who knows?
I just came this close to shooting myself in the skull.
JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 3: NFL Network
Instead of bashing the NFL Network for their Brett Favre coverage, or mentioning how most people can't see the channel, I'm going to give the reins to e-mailer Arjun, who writes for All Things Sports.
How the hell has NFL Network not made your Jerks of the Week yet? First, they let Adam Schefter (the greatest thing to ever happen to the network) go to the evil empire. Now, I have to tune into ESPN if I ever want to get Schefter's insider news.
Every summer, NFL network does this series called NFL classics where every week they show a full replay of a classic game from the past. Well this year, they all got high with Ricky Williams and decided to show a bunch of boring, s***ty playoff games from the past couple of years that nobody would ever be particularly interested in seeing.
Third, and most importantly, why have they taken so long to hire Emmitt Smith and Michael Irvin? It's a win-win: NFL Network would debacle all the other networks in terms of ratings, and we as football fans will never cease to be entertained. Can you think of anything more entertaining than The Playmaker, Emmitt Smith, and Jamie Dukes giving "analysis" for a full hour on total access? I'd give Rich Eisen $9,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 if he could keep a straight face for the entire show. That thought alone has me just as excited as Al Davis would be if he could sign Usain Bolt (who could probably run a faster 40-yard dash than Glandor) to a contract. It is cruel and unusual punishment for NFL Network to deprive the public of this kind of entertainment!!! At the very least they are one of the Jerks of the Week.
I couldn't have said it any better myself.
JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 4: Roger Goodell
I nearly lost my mind when I heard that all four of the Around the Horn panelists were not only for the QB Dog Killer reinstatement; they were also against any sort of Roger Goodell suspension. Then again, I shouldn't have been so surprised to hear that sort of opinion from a group of old, myopic, stubborn sportswriters (and I'm saying this as a fan.)
Overlord Goodell made a huge mistake by reinstating QB Dog Killer, and has lost a ton of credibility in my mind. Now, if you're asking whether I feel the same way about Donte Stallworth, my answer is no - not that the lives of a couple hundred dogs are anywhere near as important as a human life, but consider what I wrote in the forum when QB Dog Killer was reinstated:
What Stallworth did was terrible, there's no denying that, but he didn't mean to kill a man. He didn't get behind his wheel and say, "I'm going to run over the first person I see Muhahaha!" Stallworth's crime was an accident. A horrible accident, but an accident nonetheless.
What QB Dog Killer did was intentional. He wanted to kill hundreds of dogs, and did it as brutally possible. He took pleasure in it; otherwise, he would have just shot them instead of drowning and electrocuting them.
QB Dog Killer's actions are those of a deranged psychopath. He did inhumane things intentionally, and that's the difference between he and Stallworth, and that's why QB Dog Killer should never be allowed to step inside an NFL locker room ever again.
There is no way QB Dog Killer was truly remorseful. You don't go from killing hundreds of dogs, to spending a year in jail, to being completely fine. Yes, QB Dog Killer served his sentence, but the fact remains that he's a deranged psychopath who should be in a psych ward receiving treatment. That's the only way QB Dog Killer can ever be truly remorseful - if he spends a year or two in a mental facility where trained professionals help him become a human being.
Instead, Overlord Goodell gave permission to NFL GMs to sign QB Dog Killer. That would be fine if all of the general managers were smart, but as we've seen over the years, that's hardly the case. About a third of this league is completely clueless. One of the teams is even run by the undead.
If some dumb team eventually signs QB Dog Killer, I'm willing to bet the former Falcons quarterback gets arrested or suspended a short time afterward.
Forum member BoblobLaw had a great a post regarding a potential problem with signing QB Dog Killer:
I really don't get this. People seem to be focusing too much on the dog fighting here to get why this decision is one of the dumbest things any league has ever done. The dog fighting makes [QB Dog Killer] a horrid person who will cause huge PR problems that make him not worth re-instating. But the guy ran an inter-state gambling organization and is now bankrupt. How in the hell do you let a guy in that position come back into a situation where he could potentially affect the outcome of games that get so much money bet on them? I don't see how his presence on the field doesn't count as a threat to the integrity of the game, or why he isn't viewed as a threat to throw games to get himself out of debt. I mean, what is Goodell going to do next, hire Tim Donaghy to ref the games because his illegal gambling was in another sport?
And if QB Dog Killer doesn't get in trouble for pulling a Pete Rose, consider this from InjuredReserve:
Being able to murder animals is a major early indicator of a psychopath. It is an enormous risk to allow a potentially dangerous person back into the national football league. For all we know his crimes could escalate over time. He has said again and again that he never thought what he did was wrong. That is an even scarier thought. That shows that taking a life does not register any sympathy from him. These facts point to a potential murderer in the future.
In case you haven't noticed, I haven't called QB Dog Killer by his real name. And rest assured, I never will ever again unless he spends some time in a psych ward. In my opinion, he lost his name when he committed inhumane actions countless times.
JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 5: New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
On the other side of the spectrum, New York District Attorney/New York Idiot Who Likes to Waste Time and Money Robert Morgentheau wants to send Plaxico Burress to prison for two years.
Really? Two years? Let's examine what Burress did wrong:
1. Owned an unlicensed gun (Oh noez!)
2. Shot himself in the thigh (Doh!)
3. Tried to hide the gun (Derrrr!)
Burress is a moron, but he doesn't deserve any jail time. He shot himself in the thigh, embarrassed himself and lost his job. I think that's punishment enough.
Sending Burress to jail for two years will cost approximately $60,000 of taxpayer money. If Moregentheau wants to pay the 60 grand himself, he can go ahead with the charges. But I'll be damned if some of the money hard-working Americans earn has to go to fund this ridiculous "crime."
Morgentheau is a clown who is just trying to make an example out of Burress, and has thus turned this trial into a kangaroo court. Burress' attorneys should be able to push for a mistrial and get off with nothing more than a slap on the wrist. Per the Constitution, everyone deserves a fair trial, right? Well, making someone an example doesn't sound too fair to me.
Instead of wasting taxpayer money, how about fining Burress and giving him probation? If I were running things, I'd make Burress wear a t-shirt that says, "Look at me, I'm the idiot who shot himself!" every day for the next two years. This would be much more effective than jail time - Burress would be humiliated, and would eventually smell really bad from wearing the same shirt every day.
Making a t-shirt like that would cost about $15, which is much cheaper than the $60,000 Morgentheau wants to charge taxpayers. If anyone should be going to prison, it's Morgentheau for being a moron.
More Jerks of the Week:
Jerks of the Week - Home
Jerks of the Week - May 13, 2013: Sunday Shopping
Jerks of the Week - May 6, 2013: Jerks of the Housewarming Party
Jerks of the Week - April 29, 2013: Hot Tub Adventures
Jerks of the Week - April 22, 2013: Jerks of Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - April 15, 2013: Jerks of New Computer Day
Jerks of the Week - April 8, 2013: Jerks of Walnut Grove
Jerks of the Week - April 1, 2013: April Fools and April Truths
Jerks of the Week - March 25, 2013: It's Not Complicated AT&T Commercials
Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2013: My Second Stalker, Jerks of the Old Gym Pool & Locker Room
Jerks of the Week - March 11, 2013: Blizzard of 2013
Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2013: Jerks of Tulane
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2013: Jerks of New Orleans
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2013: Jerks of Philadelphia International Airport
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2013: Jerks of Bowling Night
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2013: Jerks of Tango: Where They'll Be in 2020
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2013: One Final Night at Tango
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein
2013 Fantasy Football Rankings - May 19
Charlie's 2014 NFL Mock Draft - May 16
2014 NFL Mock Draft - May 15
2013 NBA Mock Draft - May 3
NFL Picks - Feb. 3
© 1999-2013 Walter Cherepinsky : all rights reserved
2 5 9