Jerks of the Week – June 30, 2014



Jerks of the Week: June 30, 2014


JERK OF THE WEEK: Girl Meets World, Sushi and Soccer

I had been looking forward to June 27 for quite some time. For those of you who don’t know why June 27 was extremely important, shame on you. In fact, I don’t even want you reading this Jerks of the Week column. Just close this window now. Do it. Get out of here. You don’t deserve to read this.

For the rest of you, as you well know, June 27 was the series premiere of Girl Meets World, which of course is the sequel to Boy Meets World. I grew up with Boy Meets World; in fact, it was my favorite show as a teenager. I actually would stay home on Friday nights rather than go out with my friends, just so I could watch Boy Meets World in the pre-DVR days. If you think this is lame, I’m going to ask you again to please leave this Web site. Be gone. I don’t want you here.

Is anyone still left? OK good, because you undoubtedly could relate to Boy Meets World like I was able to. Sure, I didn’t have a super-hot girlfriend in high school – I did for a couple of weeks as a senior, but she turned out to be a skank – but I was a normal kid from Philly and happened to be Cory Matthews’ age. I also had a best friend who always got him into trouble. I didn’t have a goofy older brother who misspelled his own name on the SAT practice test and thus wasn’t awarded the standard 200-point bonus, but I did enjoy Eric Matthews’ antics. He was the star of the show in some episodes because of his sheer stupidity.

When Boy Meets World went off the air, I was extremely upset. I cried for days. OK, that’s a lie; I cried for months. How could they take Cory, Topanga, Shawn, Eric, Jack, and most of all, Mr. Feeny, away from me? I felt like I was part of the gang, and when the show concluded, they left me behind to go on and do bigger and better things.

As you can imagine, when they announced that Girl Meets World would be premiering on Disney Channel on Friday, June 27 at 9:45 p.m., I was ecstatic. I’m not kidding when I say that I set the DVR two weeks in advance. There was no way in hell I was missing the premiere. However, my plans to watch the show live were derailed when my cousin invited me to her birthday dinner at Ninja, a Japanese sushi place that recently opened up a block away from my house…


Ninja:

I was pessimistic while walking with my girlfriend to Ninja. I told her I probably wouldn’t like anything there. “I’m sure we’ll find something,” she assured me. That made me feel a bit better, but I warned her that we might have to stop and get a meatball and cheese sandwich from Wawa on the way back home.

Why the pessimism? I don’t trust Asian food, Japanese in particular. I tried sushi once, and I spit it out instantly. Asian cuisine tends to have these strange mystery sauces, which is not my style. I hate sauces, save for barbeque sauce, cheese sauce, cocktail sauce and ketchup. I order all of my cheeseburgers and sandwiches plain. No mustard, no mayonnaise, and certainly no shady Asian sauce.

Asian food also tends to have crap with stuff inside it. I refuse to eat anything I can’t see. I need to see things to trust them. After all, what if all the Asians decide to one day attack Americans by poisoning all of their food? It sounds a little far-fetched, maybe, but why else would they hide what’s actually in their food?

Anyway, I perused the menu right after we sat down. There were three pages of sushi, so I instantly crossed them off. There was another page of crap I didn’t understand, so I ignored that as well. I finally got to the hibachi page, which contained food that I deemed acceptable. I ordered chicken and shrimp hibachi, which sounded edible. However, I knew better; there was bound to be something afoot, so I kept my guard up – and I was absolutely right.

First of all, they brought out a salad with strange yellow dressing on it. Some people said it was ginger. One girl called it mustard. Either way, I wasn’t having it. I instantly regretted not sneaking in my emergency bottle of Ranch dressing into the restaurant. How could I be so stupid and forget it at home?

They also gave us Miso soup. The broth itself smelled good, so I had a few sips. However, I was careful to avoid the stuff in the actual soup. There were white cubes I thought were chicken, but I was quickly informed that they were tofu. There were also greenish-black things floating around. I asked what they were, and someone said they were leaches. How disgusting! Why the hell would anyone put leaches and tofu into soup? Why don’t the Japanese just add diarrhea and vomit while they’re at it?

The main course was also disappointing. The rice, chicken and shrimp weren’t bad, but there just wasn’t enough. In fact, they gave me vegetables as well, which I thought was complete and utter bulls*** because I could have just ordered vegetable hibachi. No. I wanted chicken and shrimp hibachi. I didn’t want vegetables, and I certainly didn’t want the vegetables they gave me. If they put pickles and ketchup on my plate, I would’ve been fine with it because those are acceptable vegetables. Instead, they gave me zucchini, broccoli and some other bulls*** I didn’t recognize. My girlfriend, who ordered spider sushi(**), picked the vegetables off my plate while I sat there completely miserable.

(**) I checked for spider eggs in her spider sushi, and luckily, there weren’t any.

I was miserable because the vegetables took up half the plate. They gave me tiny specks of chicken and six shrimp. That’s it – six shrimp! If you order Walt’s Favorite Fried Shrimp at Red Lobster, it comes with 18 fried shrimp. That’s THREE times the amount Ninja gave me, and they weren’t even fried! Furthermore, they didn’t even include mashed potatoes and cheddar biscuits! I complained about this later, and people said, “It’s a Japanese restaurant; they don’t have mashed potatoes.”

Well, that’s their problem; not mine. The Japanese need to stop spending time flying planes into buildings and start growing potatoes in their country so they can serve them in their shady restaurants. Having some farms dedicated to cheddar biscuits would also improve Japan tremendously.

At any rate, I was still starving after I finished my meal. I announced that I would be heading to Wawa on the way back to my house – until my girlfriend saved the day by ordering chocolate fried ice cream. Combine that with the giant slice of Oreo cake my cousin had for her birthday, and I no longer required extra food after I walked out of Ninja.





Soccer:

While at Ninja, I was asked by one of the girls there if I cover soccer on my site.

Me: No, why would I do that?

Girl: You’re WalterSports!

Me: No, I’m WalterFootball.

Girl: But soccer is football in other countries!

I hate this argument. Did you know the word “kiss” means “pee” in Swedish? So, just because the Swedes use it differently, does it mean that if you say, “I want to kiss you,” someone should insinuate that you want to urinate in their mouth?

Here’s the thing about the football/soccer debate: This is America, and in America, we steal things from other countries and make them better. For example, we nabbed land from Native Americans, and we improved it by constructing buildings. The hamburger, meanwhile, was invented in Germany, but we took it from them and created fast-food burger joints that sold different types of burgers, ranging from the bacon double cheeseburger to the pizza burger. Why is it our fault that the Germans failed to capitalize on their own fantastic invention?

The same thing can be said of football-soccer. The rest of the world had this boring sport where a bunch of sissies kicked a ball back and forth and did nothing else, so we needed a national pastime of our own that did not involve fat slobs scratching their nuts while someone else hit a ball with a stick. Thus, we stole some of the ideas from rugby football and dropped the “rugby” word from the sport name. Thus, the great sport of football was reborn and improved in our own image.

The reason why I don’t cover soccer is precisely what I said in the previous paragraph. It’s boring. And everyone knows it’s boring. Yes, you know it’s boring. I’m talking to you. You may not think so, but you’re sadly mistaken. The only reason you don’t believe you think it’s boring is something called the Diffusion of Innovations Theory.

I’ll spare you the boring details – you can Google to fully read up on it – but how it works is that a few people (the innovators) pick up something and popularize it. Most normal people are afraid of missing out on the latest fad, so they hop on the bandwagon the innovators created until everyone grows tired of it and jumps all over the new innovation.

The innovation in this case is soccer fandom in America. Sure, the foreigners always liked it because they grew up with it and don’t know any better, but those in the U.S. started to watch it after some artsy-fartsy douche bags made it “cool” because they wanted to be “cultured” like the rest of the world. Artsy-fartsy douche bags tend to be the trend-setters in most cases, unfortunately, so they’re the ones responsible for creating the abomination known as soccer fandom in this country. They’ve made it “cool,” and now everyone wants to be part of the cool crowd. Thus, they’re watching a horrific sport with absolutely no scoring and girly-men flopping at the slightest graze.

Some claim to watch soccer because they’re rooting for their country. I think that’s stupid. I love America, save for its ridiculous tax code, and I’m proud to be an American, but let me ask you this: What does the U.S. winning the World Cup do for America? How does it improve our country? What do you and I as Americans gain from a victory? Pride? Well, we already know we’re better than everyone else, so it’s not like we need approval.

I would actually argue that a World Cup championship would be damaging to America. Think about it: Every single country in the world hates us, except for Israel, Australia and Canada (we took Justin Bieber off the latter’s hands, after all). If we were nuked tomorrow by a terrorist organization, every other nation in the world would rejoice. They’d gleefully burn American flags like they did on Sept. 11.

If we were to become the best at soccer – a sport in which the rest of the world knows we truly despise – they would hate us even more. What if soccer-fanatic terrorist dedicates his life to blowing up America because we triumphed in the World Cup? Is it truly worth getting nuked to win at a boring sport in which sissies kick the ball back and forth?





Girl Meets World:

I endured a night of discussing a boring sport and eating crappy Japanese food (I honestly almost wrote “Crappanese”), but I didn’t care because Girl Meets World was making its debut. I could hardly contain myself as my girlfriend and I plopped down on the couch to watch the premiere.

Five minutes into the show, I was crying on the inside. I’m not kidding. It was the worst, corniest, piece of crap I had ever seen. It’s difficult to come up with the appropriate words for it. Disney added its cheesiness and completely ruined it.

Here are some bullet points about why it sucked, outside of the corny jokes:

  • The child actors are terrible. The main character, a 12-year-old chick named Riley, has an annoying lisp. Her younger brother, a 5-year-old douche named Auggie, thinks he’s Riley’s twin. In his one and only scene in the premiere, which had absolutely nothing to do with the overall plot, Auggie cried “mommy” when Riley told him that they weren’t twins. That’s some major character development. Granted, Morgan didn’t have anything important to say in Boy Meets World, but she had some funny one-liners.

  • Riley and her best friend Maya tried sneaking out of their New York apartment in the opening scene. Cory stopped them, but told his daughter that “the world is yours,” or some crap – clearly something Alan Matthews would have disapproved of in the Philly suburbs. Cory, instead, allowed his daughter to ride the New York subway. I’m 31, and I’d be terrified to be on the New York subway because it’s bound to be crawling with gangsters and cannibalistic bums. How can a father let his 12-year-old girl go on it without any adult supervision?

  • Speaking of New York, Cory is living in the slums. All that hard work that Alan and Amy Matthews put in, so Cory can live in some row home? That made me sad.

  • Cory is a teacher now, and he’s the worst teacher of all time. Trying to teach his students about the Civil War, he assigned a three-page paper about anything they believed in strongly. Doing her best Shawn Hunter impression, Maya refused to do the homework. Instead, she gathered all of the homework papers during class and attempted to light them with a sparkler she stole from Farkle Minkus’ diorama (yes, Minkus’ son, who happens to be a giant creeper when he hits on both Riley and Maya repeatedly throughout the episode). The sparkler set off the fire alarm and sprinkler system, and the entire classroom was flooded as a consequence.

    Now, you might be thinking that this Maya chick got into trouble. But no – Cory scolded her lightly, which prompted her to begin crying because she has no one to help her do homework at home. Cory then allowed Riley to remain friends with Maya after Riley told him that Maya is the thing she feels strongly enough to fight for. That’s great and all, but where’s the three-page paper about being friends with an arsonist? How did she get out of composing an essay?

  • Riley is obsessed with this kid named Lucas, whom she initially spotted on the subway. She tried to talk to Lucas, but a fat black woman interrupted her because she wanted to sit next to Lucas herself despite being 40 years his senior. Disney was clearly being sexist here. If a fat black man sat next to a 12-year-old chick and flirted with her, he’d be deemed a pedophile. So, it’s funny if some fat black woman did it to a 12-year-old boy?

    Lucas then made his way to Cory’s class as a new student, given that he just moved from Texas. Even though he looks like he’s 16, he’s apparently just as old as Maya – and yet he was allowed to ride the subway by himself even though he almost certainly had no idea where he was going because he had just moved there.

  • For some strange reason, Lucas and Farkle joined Cory, Topanga, Riley and Maya in the closing scene. It seemed like it was supposed to be a family outing of some sort, so I have no idea why Lucas and Farkle were invited. Meanwhile, Maya, despite being 12, somehow knew every bum and hippie in the subway. She and Riley then proceeded to do a weird dance number before boarding the train. The only thing that saved this scene was actually the best part of the episode – Mr. Feeny appeared as perhaps a ghost and told Cory that he was doing well as a parent. They didn’t address whether Mr. Feeny was dead or not; Cory just smiled, and the credits rolled.

    You don’t know how depressed I am that this show turned out to be a steaming pile of s***. It could have been so much better. If I were running things at Disney, I would have made it a show about Cory’s struggles in parenthood and marriage life, as well as his issues trying to be his daughter’s teacher while also being her dad. I’d have Mr. Feeny appear as a ghost once or twice per episode to give Cory guidance and also deliver a funny one-liner or two. Also, why not bring back Mr. Turner to be Cory’s boss? Principal Turner has a nice ring to it.

    I feel like my show would be a billion times better than the actual product. Having Riley as the main character is a huge mistake because she can’t act. She’s not interesting at all either. I don’t care whether she tricks Lucas into committing statutory rape. I don’t give a damn about her friendship with the arsonist. And I certainly am not looking forward to these plot lines, per Wikipedia:

  • Riley tries to impress the new boy Lucas.

  • Riley sees Lucas with another girl named Missy at school. Riley wants Lucas for herself. So Farkle flirts with Missy. Meanwhile, Auggie wants to grow up while impressing a girl.

    Ugh. Who gives a flying f*** about Riley, Lucas, Missy and Auggie? I want more Cory, Topanga, Shawn, Eric, Jack and Mr. Feeny. They’re the ones who made Boy Meets World great in the first place. Riley, Maya, Lucas and Auggie are not going to do that with Girl Meets World.

    I’m going to keep watching this show. Pilots are often bad, so perhaps it’ll improve, plus I just loved the original too much. And maybe my spirits will be better going into the next episode because I won’t be coming home from a Crappanese dinner.




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    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2020: FilipinoCupid.com
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2020: The Great Antifa War of Labor Day
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2020: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2020
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2020: Death Wishers
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2020: Mask Karens at Starbucks
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2020: Annoying Kids in My Neighborhood
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2020: Giant Bean Stock Lady
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2020: Voice Actors
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2020: Walt Goes to Vegas 2020, Part 5: The Positives of Pandemic Vegas
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2020: Walt Goes to Vegas 2020, Part 4: Masks, Burgers and Twigs
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 17, 2020: Walt Goes to Vegas 2020, Part 3: The Evil Mosquito Man
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2020: Walt Goes to Vegas 2020, Part 2: Meeting a Porn Star
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2020: Walt Goes to Vegas 2020, Part 1: Airport Amid a Pandemic
    Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2020: Happy Uncle's Day
    Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2020: Jerks of the Gym While Not at the Gym
    Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2020: Back to Restaurants
    Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2020: Lockdown Lunatics
    Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2020: YouTube Workout Videos
    Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2020: CHAZ Losers
    Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2020: Quarantine Stories III: My Dog's Lover
    Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2020: Quarantine Stories II
    Jerks of the Week - June 1, 2020: Quarantine Stories
    Jerks of the Week - May 25, 2020: Welcome to Miami, Part 7: Mr. Critique, the Galloping Horse and the Case of the Disappearing Kids
    Jerks of the Week - May 18, 2020: Welcome to Miami, Part 6: Peruvian Problems and Taco Island
    Jerks of the Week - May 11, 2020: Welcome to Miami, Part 5: Hot Women with Hair Problems
    Jerks of the Week - May 4, 2020: Welcome to Miami, Part 4: The Best Burger Place in the World
    Jerks of the Week - April 27, 2020: ESPN's 2020 NFL Draft Coverage
    Jerks of the Week - April 20, 2020: Welcome to Miami, Part 3: Strippers and Salsa
    Jerks of the Week - April 13, 2020: Welcome to Miami, Part 2: The Adventures of Leonys Maroney III
    Jerks of the Week - April 6, 2020: Welcome to Miami, Part 1: The Adventures of Maximillian Cucumber, the VIII
    Jerks of the Week - March 30, 2020: April Fools and April Truths VIII: Coronavirus Edition
    Jerks of the Week - March 23, 2020: Dumb People in the Wuhan Coronavirus Pandemic
    Jerks of the Week - March 16, 2020: Wuhan Coronavirus
    Jerks of the Week - March 9, 2020: Car Inspections
    Jerks of the Week - March 2, 2020: Star Trek Picard
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 24, 2020: Nephtali Diaz
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 17, 2020: 2020 Oscars Golden Academy Awards and the Dana Schwartz South Park Tweet
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 10, 2020: The Golden Global Awards and the British Royals
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 3, 2020: Tiny Lifeguard, Cookie Monster Lady, Handsome Men in the Locker Room
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 27, 2020: Worst Best Dinner Ever: My Nifty Fifty's Saga
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 20, 2020: Millennials and Man Buns
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 13, 2020: Happy New Year, 2020
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 6, 2020: My New Dog, Raven
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 30, 2019: The Return of Facebook Beggar
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 23, 2019: Daughter for Sale
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 16, 2019: Mall Joker
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 9, 2019: Downton Abbey: The Movie
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 2, 2019: Our Healthcare System
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 25, 2019: The Most Popular Musicians
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 18, 2019: It's Raining Men
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 11, 2019: Trick-or-Treaters, 2019
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 4, 2019: The Mark Zuckerberg Testimony
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 28, 2019: The Worst Beer Purchase
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 21, 2019: The Worst Song Ever
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 14, 2019: Bank Robbers (Including Me)
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 7, 2019: Dumb Parents, Irrelevant Pregnancy and MeUndies
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 30, 2019: Horny Hot Tub Guys
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 23, 2019: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2019, Part 5: The Many Random Jerks of Las Vegas
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 16, 2019: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2019, Part 4: The Suicide Squad and the Blowup Doll
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 9, 2019: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2019, Part 3: Mojito Bro's Concubines and Casino Narc
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 2, 2019: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2019, Part 2: Mojito Bro and the Cabana Crew
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 26, 2019: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2019, Part 1: The Philadelphia International Airport
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 19, 2019: The Word "Stupid" and Birthday with the Nephews
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 12, 2019: The Sensory Deprivation Chamber
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 5, 2019: Jerks of the Baltimore Wedding: Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - July 29, 2019: Jerks of the Baltimore Wedding: Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - July 22, 2019: Welfare Shouting Match and FAAAAARKS!!!!!
    Jerks of the Week - July 15, 2019: Walt Goes to OBX, Part 5 - Attack of the Black Flies
    Jerks of the Week - July 8, 2019: Walt Goes to OBX, Part 4 - Sewage Water and No Hot Dogs
    Jerks of the Week - July 1, 2019: Walt Goes to OBX, Part 3 - More Poop Encounters
    Jerks of the Week - June 24, 2019: Walt Goes to OBX, Part 2 - Sherlock's First Day at the Beach
    Jerks of the Week - June 17, 2019: Walt Goes to OBX, Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - June 10, 2019: The 10-Year Jerks of the Week Anniversary
    Jerks of the Week - June 3, 2019: Bingo Night
    Jerks of the Week - May 27, 2019: The One-Year Anniversary
    Jerks of the Week - May 20, 2019: The Abomination That Was Game of Thrones: Season 8, Episode 5
    Jerks of the Week - May 13, 2019: Return to the Poop Gym
    Jerks of the Week - May 6, 2019: Saladworks Weirdos
    Jerks of the Week - April 29, 2019: Taco Hell, 2019
    Jerks of the Week - April 22, 2019: Wedding Ablaze
    Jerks of the Week - April 15, 2019: The Worst Waitress of All Time
    Jerks of the Week - April 8, 2019: AsianDating.com
    Jerks of the Week - April 1, 2019: April Fools and April Truths VII
    Jerks of the Week - March 25, 2019: Hibachi Restaurant Hates Me
    Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2019: Walt Goes to Super Bowl LIII, Part 4
    Jerks of the Week - March 11, 2019: Walt Goes to Super Bowl LIII, Part 3
    Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2019: Walt Goes to Super Bowl LIII, Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2019: Walt Goes to Super Bowl LIII, Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2019: Scott Sports
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2019: Flies in My Salad
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2019: Rat Feces in My Pizza
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2019: Someone Hit on Me at the Gym
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2019: Adventures at the Chinese Buffet
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2019: A Million Little Things
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2019: 2018 Christmas Commercials
    Jerks of the Year - Dec. 31, 2018: The Facebook Beggar
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2018: Dairy Queen and Cold Stone Creamery
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2018: Cat Lady, Thanksgiving Woman and the Shower Hags
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2018: Thomas Middleditch Verizon Commercials (Again)
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2018: Slow and Sucky Subway
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2018: Battle of the Sexes
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 19, 2018: Stories of Bill Cosby, Gym Vacations and Cheesesteaks
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2018: Jerks at the Zombie Circus
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2018: Halloween
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2018: Jerks of the Gym: Where's the Peef?
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2018: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2018, Part 4: My Near-Fight at Cowabunga Bay
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2018: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2018, Part 3: A Serial Killer Bird and Twin Peaks, the Restaurant
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2018: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2018, Part 2: The Mandarin Oriental Pool
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2018: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2018, Part 1: The Philadelphia International Airport
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2018: YouTube Personalities
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2018: Friends from College
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2018: Aladdin on Broadway
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2018: The Beach Weekend Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2018: Jerks of My Honeymoon - Part 6
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2018: Jerks of My Honeymoon - Part 5
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 13, 2018: Jerks of My Honeymoon - Part 4
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2018: Jerks of My Honeymoon - Part 3
    Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2018: Jerks of My Honeymoon - Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2018: Jerks of My Honeymoon - Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2018: Jerks of the First Mall Trip as a Married Couple
    Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2018: Jerks of My Wedding - Part 4
    Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2018: Jerks of My Wedding - Part 3
    Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2018: Jerks of My Wedding - Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2018: Jerks of My Wedding - Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2018: Jerks of My Bachelor Party - Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - June 4, 2018: Jerks of My Bachelor Party - Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2018: The Unhappy Meals
    Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2018: The Countdown, the Pervert and the Woman from Hell
    Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2018: Jerks of Chik-fil-A
    Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2018: Ballad of the Three Wawa Trips
    Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2018: Jerks of Boston Market
    Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2018: A Very S***ty Day
    Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2018: Jerks of the Niece's Birthday Party
    Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2018: The Nearly Forgotten Jerks of My Mom's Birthday
    Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2018: April Fools and April Truths VI
    Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2018: Katy Perry
    Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2018: Tipping Starbucks Cashiers
    Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2018: Mega Jerks at the Gym
    Jerks of the Year - March 5, 2018: Nazi Hot Tub Man
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 26, 2018: Walt Goes to Super Bowl LII, Part 4
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 19, 2018: Walt Goes to Super Bowl LII, Part 3
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 12, 2018: Walt Goes to Super Bowl LII, Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 5, 2018: Walt Goes to Super Bowl LII, Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 29, 2018: Smart Barista, Dumb Comcast Worker and Best Friends
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 22, 2018: Johnny Manziel's Cousin and the Lifesaver Mint Conspiracy
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 15, 2018: Crappy Italian Restaurant
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 8, 2018: Pre-Christmas Jerks
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 1, 2018: The 12 Things I Hate About Christmas
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 25, 2017: The Walnut Grove Township Meeting
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 18, 2017: Hallmark Movies
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 11, 2017: Verizon Guy
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 4, 2017: My Friend Drew, and the Craziest Facebook Conversation Ever
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 27, 2017: Angry, Old Men, and Sara the Starbucks Scumbag
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 20, 2017: More Jerks at the Card Show
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 13, 2017: Goodbye, AIM
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 6, 2017: I Have a Beautiful Figure Again
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 30, 2017: Haunted Attractions
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 23, 2017: Streaming Hipsters and CBS All-Access
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 16, 2017: The Gym Cesspool
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 9, 2017: Hayley Geftman-Gold, Redskins Marching Band Play, Memes Chip Guy
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 2, 2017: Shirtless Hooligans at the Mall
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 25, 2017: On the Road to Margate
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 18, 2017: Jerks of Ocean City, Maryland, 2017. Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 11, 2017: Jerks of Ocean City, Maryland, 2017. Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 4, 2017: Pathetic Jokester, Conspiracy Theorist and Hot Tub A**hole
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 28, 2017: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2017, Part 5: Not Hurricane Harvey, But Apparently Close
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 21, 2017: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2017, Part 4: Expensive and Mysterious Food
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 14, 2017: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2017, Part 3: Stupid Kids and Murderers in Vegas
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 7, 2017: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2017, Part 2: Razor Bombs and the High-Five Heist
    Jerks of the Week - July 31, 2017: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2017, Part 1: Spawns of Satan on the Airplane
    Jerks of the Week - July 24, 2017: The Return to My LA Fitness
    Jerks of the Week - July 17, 2017: The British Invade LA Fitness!
    Jerks of the Week - July 10, 2017: July 4, Bureaucrats and Narcs
    Jerks of the Week - July 3, 2017: Jerks at Sahara Sam's
    Jerks of the Week - June 26, 2017: Unicorns, Cheapskates and Stalkers at Starbucks
    Jerks of the Week - June 19, 2017: Jerks at the June Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - June 12, 2017: The Eighth Day at Best Buy
    Jerks of the Week - June 5, 2017: A Crappy Saturday
    Jerks of the Week - May 29, 2017: Plagiarism Accusations
    Jerks of the Week - May 22, 2017: The Best Buy Trilogy: 2017 Edition
    Jerks of the Week - May 15, 2017: Trouble at Water Aerobics Class
    Jerks of the Week - May 8, 2017: Jerks at the Card Show
    Jerks of the Week - May 1, 2017: Wendy's
    Jerks of the Week - April 24, 2017: Jerk of the Year: Hackers
    Jerks of the Week - April 17, 2017: Pepsi Commercial, McDonald's Commercial, Twitter Blockers
    Jerks of the Week - April 10, 2017: New Marriage, Angry Marriage
    Jerks of the Week - April 3, 2017: April Fools and April Truths V
    Jerks of the Week - March 27, 2017: Get Out and the Death of Macy's
    Jerks of the Week - March 20, 2017: Talking Buses and the Quarter Thief
    Jerks of the Week - March 13, 2017: Baja Fresh and Food Douches
    Jerks of the Week - March 6, 2017: Walt Goes to the Super Bowl, Part 4
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2017: Walt Goes to the Super Bowl, Part 3
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2017: Walt Goes to the Super Bowl, Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2017: Walt Goes to the Super Bowl, Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2017: The Warning, the Weasel and the Weirdo on a Whacky Wednesday
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2017: Tales from the Hot Tub
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2017: Skeletor's Hot Takes
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2017: Walter Goes to Harrisburg, Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2017: Walter Goes to Harrisburg, Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2017: Self-Entitled Douche Bag Kids
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2016: Christmas Shopping
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2016: Relaxation Saturday
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2016: My Best Friend's Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2016: Brain-Dead Saturday, Part 2: The Rocky Horror Picture Show
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2016: Brain-Dead Saturday, Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2016: Cobb Salads and Gym Desk Workers Who Hate Me
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2016: Halloween and the Election
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2016: Grub Burger Bar
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2016: Old Lady Hate, Old Lady Love
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2016: Timeless
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2016: The Vuse Odyssey
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2016: Seven Years
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2016: Tales of the Ailing Foot
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2016: Twelve Girls, Five Boys, $55 Million, and the Future
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2016: Dead Man in My Pool
    Jerk of the Year - Sept. 5, 2016: Colin Kaepernick
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2016: Jerks of Ocean City, Maryland. Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2016: Jerks of Ocean City, Maryland. Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2016: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2016
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 8, 2016: Walt Goes to Vegas 2016, Part 4: Prostitutes and Macaroni and Cheese
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 1, 2016: Walt Goes to Vegas 2016, Part 3: Cowabunga Bay
    Jerks of the Week - July 25, 2016: Walt Goes to Vegas 2016, Part 2: The Blue Man Group and the Spanking
    Jerks of the Week - July 18, 2016: Walt Goes to Vegas 2016, Part 1: Philadelphia International Airport
    Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2016: Jerks of the Birthday Party: Knee to the Balls
    Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2016: Shirtless Fish Tank Man and Facebook Douche
    Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2016: Twitter Social Justice Warriors
    Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2016: Getting Lost and Poisoned
    Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2016: Sad Mushrooms, Lonely Potatoes and Angry Men
    Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2016: Water Aerobics
    Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2016: Bar Conversations
    Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2016: Tales of Five Errands
    Jerks of the Week - May 9, 2016: Adventures at Acme
    Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2016: The Italian Cafe
    Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2016: Toxic Hell, Revisited
    Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2016: Starbucks Sucks
    Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2016: Jerks of Bizarro Rite-Aid
    Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2016: April Fools and April Truths IV
    Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2016: Battle of the Gyms: Old Gym vs. LA Fitness
    Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2016: Random Pictures on My Phone
    Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2016: Meshack and Marco Manilla
    Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2016: Lucifer
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 29, 2016: An Afternoon at McDonald's
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2016: Night at the Spa: My First Massage Ever
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2016: Surprise in a Box, Crazy Woman at the Bank, Dumb Girl at the Spa
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2016: Macaroni's
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2016: McPick 2
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2016: Seeing Star Wars
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2016: Powerball
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2016: December Heat Wave
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2016: The Top Five Jerks of 2015
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2015: Christmas Shopping Without a Baby
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2015: Christmas Shopping with a Baby
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2015: Mad Mex
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 7, 2015: Famous Dave's
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2015: Another Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2015: The Trip to Pennhurst Asylum
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2015: Halloween 2015
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2015: Jerks at My Sister's Wedding - Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2015: Jerks at My Sister's Wedding - Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2015: The Shirtless A**hole Brigade
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2015: Weight Gain and VANDALISM
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2015: Jerks of the Gym Pool
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2015: Papal Visit 2015
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2015: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2015: Second Trip, Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2015: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2015: Second Trip, Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2015: Tubing Down the Delaware: A Near-Death Experience
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2015: Jerks of My Birthday - A Surprise in My Bed!
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2015: Walt Goes to Vegas - Part 5: Slot Machines and Random Vegas Stuff
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2015: Walt Goes to Vegas - Part 4: Sportsbooks, Whore Houses and Michael Jackson
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 17, 2015: Walt Goes to Vegas - Part 3: Vegas Dining Experiences
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2015: Walt Goes to Vegas - Part 2: Mandalay Bay Hotel
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2015: Walt Goes to Vegas - Part 1: The Philadelphia International Airport
    Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2015: Cookies, Chips and Bombs
    Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2015: Stupid People in My Neighborhood
    Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2015: Sherlock Walt, and the Cases of the Scrambled Eggs and Missing Pepsi Bag
    Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2015: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2015: Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2015: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2015: Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2015: The Philadelphia Writers' Conference - 2015 Edition
    Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2015: Tales from the Baby Pool
    Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2015: Uzbekistan
    Jerks of the Week - June 1, 2015: Memorial Day Grocery Shopping at Giant
    Jerks of the Week - May 25, 2015: A Tale of Four Neighborhoods: Con Artists, Dog Poop and a Stolen Watch
    Jerks of the Week - May 20, 2015: Roger Goodell
    Jerks of the Week - May 18, 2015: Catching Up on Gym Jerks: Two Abominations, Two Creeps and a Monster
    Jerks of the Week - May 11, 2015: A Racist, a Woman-Beater and a Horse - the Greatest Sports Day Ever
    Jerks of the Week - May 4, 2015: Puppy-Training Classes
    Jerks of the Week - April 27, 2015: Gym Jerks - with Pictures!
    Jerks of the Week - April 20, 2015: It Follows
    Jerks of the Week - April 13, 2015: Bottom Dollar Closes - Part II
    Jerks of the Week - April 6, 2015: Bottom Dollar Closes - Part I
    Jerks of the Week - March 30, 2015: April Fools and April Truths III
    Jerks of the Week - March 23, 2015: The Old Man, the Heroic Man, and the Desperate Man
    Jerks of the Week - March 16, 2015: The News: Predators, Mushrooms, the Weather and the Undead
    Jerks of the Week - March 9, 2015: Valentine's Day Gifts
    Jerks of the Week - March 2, 2015: Disappearing Jerks: the Loser, the Douche, the Hobo and My Food
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 23, 2015: Gym Patrons and Their Mistakes
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 16, 2015: Return to Kyoto - The Japanese Nightmare
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 9, 2015: Jerry Jackson
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 2, 2015: Paranoia, Incest and Near-Death - All at the Gym!
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 26, 2015: Going to the Flyers Game
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 19, 2015: Return to Parx Casino
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 12, 2015: Chris Christie, Clorox, Gay Jokes
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 5, 2015: More Christmas Shopping
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 29, 2014: 2014, Year in Review
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 22, 2014: Jerks of Christmas Shopping, 2014
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 15, 2014: Idiots at the Gym
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 8, 2014: Septa Train Zombies
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 1, 2014: Lifeguard Training Day
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 24, 2014: Too Many Cooks
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 17, 2014: Halloween and Orange Juice
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 10, 2014: Dunkin Donuts
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 3, 2014: Kyoto and Japanese Food
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 27, 2014: Mario Lopez and Lily Adams
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 20, 2014: My Quest for a Lasagna Pan
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 13, 2014: Telling the Truth
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 6, 2014: Birthday Shopping at the Mall
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 29, 2014: Dinners to Go
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 22, 2014: Philadelphia
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 15, 2014: All Waiters Hate Me
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 8, 2014: Befriending Those Who Want to Kill Me
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 1, 2014: Little League World Series, Morning Radio Shows
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 25, 2014: Why True Blood Sucks
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 18, 2014: Selfies and Spammers
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 11, 2014: Shopping for Bras, Dominatrix Items and Stolen Goods
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 4, 2014: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2014
    Jerks of the Week - July 28, 2014: The Tampa Trilogy, 2014: Part 3 - Jerks of the Hotel and Ybor
    Jerks of the Week - July 21, 2014: The Tampa Trilogy, 2014: Part 2 - Jerks of Disney World
    Jerks of the Week - July 14, 2014: The Tampa Trilogy, 2014: Part 1 - Philadelphia International Airport
    Jerks of the Week - July 7, 2014: Dumb Kids, an Old Pervert and a Lunatic
    Jerks of the Week - June 30, 2014: Girl Meets World, Sushi and Soccer
    Jerks of the Week - June 23, 2014: Therapy Pool Abominations
    Jerks of the Week - June 16, 2014: Sprint Framily Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - June 9, 2014: Jerks of the DMV
    Jerks of the Week - June 2, 2014: Five-Year Anniversary: 50 Apologies
    Jerks of the Week - May 26, 2014: Night of the Six Stink Eyes
    Jerks of the Week - May 19, 2014: Internet Idiots III
    Jerks of the Week - May 12, 2014: Hate Mail, Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - May 5, 2014: Hate Mail, Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - April 28, 2014: People Plotting My Death
    Jerks of the Week - April 21, 2014: How I Met My Cell Phone
    Jerks of the Week - April 14, 2014: Bad Omens Monday
    Jerks of the Week - April 7, 2014: Clothes Shopping
    Jerk of the Year - April 1, 2014: How I Met Your Mother Finale
    Jerks of the Week - March 31, 2014: April Fools and April Truths II
    Jerks of the Week - March 24, 2014: Downtown Business Meeting
    Jerks of the Week - March 17, 2014: Jerks of the Old Gym
    Jerks of the Week - March 10, 2014: Winter Olympics
    Jerks of the Week - March 3, 2014: Valentine's Day Commercials 2014
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 24, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 3: The Great Flood
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 17, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 2: Power Outage
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 10, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 1: Stomach Virus
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 3, 2014: Cooking with Me
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 27, 2014: Just Wright
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 20, 2014: People Who Steal From Me
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 13, 2014: Snowed In and Going Insane
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 6, 2014: Christmas Shopping 2013
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 30, 2013: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 23, 2013: Toyotathon Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 16, 2013: My Elliptical - Struggles of a Fat Man
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 9, 2013: Weird Food, Terrible Music and Rude Service
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 2, 2013: AT&T It's Not Complicated Commercials Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 25, 2013: Pizza Gluttony
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 18, 2013: The Seven Deadly Jerks at Bravo!
    Jerk of the Year - Nov. 11, 2013: Redskins Team Name Controversy
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 4, 2013: Jerk-of-Treaters
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 28, 2013: WalterFootball and the Case of the Kidnapped Granddaughter
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 21, 2013: Jerks of the Mall: Hot Chicks vs. Ugly A**holes
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 14, 2013: Cereal Trilogy
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 7, 2013: Urban Education: Getting Pregnant at 13
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 30, 2013: The Philadelphia Writers' Conference
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 23, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 3: Return of Soulless-Eye Lady
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 16, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 2: Confrontation Friday
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 9, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 1: Windows 8 and the Geek Squad
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 2, 2013: Jerks of the WalterFootball.com Forum Party
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 26, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 3: Lots of Hot Chicks
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 19, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 2: Eternal Life
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 12, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 1: The Drowning Fat Man
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 5, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 4 - The Strange Woman Who Wanted to Give Me Head
    Jerks of the Week - July 29, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 3 - The Serial Killer and the Dance-Bang Girl
    Jerks of the Week - July 22, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 2 - First Beach Day and Two Nights Out
    Jerks of the Week - July 15, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 1 - Jerks at the Airport
    Jerks of the Week - July 8, 2013: Master Zumba Invitation & Female Stalkers
    Jerks of the Week - July 1, 2013: Jerks of Election Day - Damsel in Distress
    Jerks of the Week - June 24, 2013: Attack of the White Trash Brigade
    Jerks of the Week - June 17, 2013: Emmitt Smith Reviews Game of Thrones and Other Shows
    Jerks of the Week - June 10, 2013: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
    Jerks of the Week - June 3, 2013: The People We Saw at Kenny's
    Jerks of the Week - May 27, 2013: Jerks of the May 18 Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - May 20, 2013: Internet Idiots II
    Jerks of the Week - May 13, 2013: Sunday Shopping
    Jerks of the Week - May 6, 2013: Jerks of the Housewarming Party
    Jerks of the Week - April 29, 2013: Hot Tub Adventures
    Jerks of the Week - April 22, 2013: Jerks of Saladworks
    Jerks of the Week - April 15, 2013: Jerks of New Computer Day
    Jerks of the Week - April 8, 2013: Jerks of Walnut Grove
    Jerks of the Week - April 1, 2013: April Fools and April Truths
    Jerks of the Week - March 25, 2013: It's Not Complicated AT&T Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2013: My Second Stalker, Jerks of the Old Gym Pool & Locker Room
    Jerks of the Week - March 11, 2013: Blizzard of 2013
    Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2013: Jerks of Tulane
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2013: Jerks of New Orleans
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2013: Jerks of Philadelphia International Airport
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2013: Jerks of Bowling Night
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2013: Jerks of Tango: Where They'll Be in 2020
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2013: One Final Night at Tango
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
    Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
    Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
    Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
    Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
    Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
    Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
    Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
    Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
    Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
    Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
    Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
    Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
    Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
    Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
    Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
    Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
    Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
    Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
    Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
    Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
    Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
    Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
    Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
    Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
    Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
    Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
    Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
    Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
    Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
    Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
    Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
    Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
    Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
    Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
    Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
    Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
    Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
    Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
    Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
    Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
    Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
    Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
    Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Twitter Idiots
    Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
    Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
    Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
    Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
    Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
    Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
    Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
    Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
    Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
    Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
    Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
    Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
    Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
    Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
    Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
    Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
    Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
    Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
    Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
    Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
    Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype
    Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
    Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
    Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
    Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
    Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
    Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
    Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
    Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
    Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
    Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
    Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
    Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
    Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
    Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
    Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
    Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
    Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
    Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




    NFL Power Rankings - Feb. 22


    2024 NFL Mock Draft - Feb. 21


    Fantasy Football Rankings - Feb. 19


    NFL Picks - Feb. 12