Jerks of the Week - March 27, 2017





Jerks of the Week: March 27, 2017


JERK OF THE WEEK: Get Out and the Death of Macy's

I've complained about how horrible Hollywood has been as far as its movie-making creativity is concerned over the lifespan of Jerks of the Week. Movies have blown for the most part over the past decade, with everything seemingly being a rehash or a sequel of something else. It's like the people in Hollywood don't have a single creative cell in their brains anymore.

Well, I don't know what has happened, but the movies this year look promising. There are a number of films my fiancee and I have wanted to see. We already checked out Split, which was cool, and we planned on seeing Get Out this past Saturday. I actually wanted to see the Belko Experiment, but I was overruled.

Unfortunately, seemingly everyone in the tri-state area had similar ideas about going to the movies because the Neshaminy Mall theater was absolutely packed. At first, I assumed it was because of the weather. This March has set record-lows for temperature in Philadelphia, with it being 35 degrees or colder every single day after March 4. We had a freaking blizzard in the middle of this month, and as of this writing (March 19), there is still six inches of snow on the ground outside!

Look, I don't want to get political, but this global cooling thing is a major problem. It absolutely needs to be stopped before we enter into another ice age. So please, all of you, burn fossil fuels and spray aerosol cans into the atmosphere so that we can end this global cooling madness. Let's make March warm again.

Aside from the weather, there were two other reasons why there was such a long line to enter the movies. First, Beauty and the Beast released that particular weekend. Speaking of rehashes. Why do people want to see this atrocity of a film? Beauty and the Beast was perfectly fine as a cartoon. We don't need to see it in live action. And what the hell is Hermoine doing in the movie? I don't want to see Hermoine anywhere unless she has a magic wand and is arrogantly correcting her two doofus friends on how to correctly pronounce spells. Couldn't this movie at least have cast someone new and refreshing instead of some washed-up actress?

Quick hot take: I actually don't think that any Hollywood star should ever be able to act in a major role twice. Furthermore, these actors should actually have to become these characters. How cool would it be if Peter Dinklage was an alcoholic aristocrat who f***ed lots of prostitutes and shot his dad with a crossbow? Or what if the Hermoine girl - I don't care to know what her real name is - was really a chick who was able to cast magic spells? Such a world would be awesome, and I'm sure we'd be free of global cooling in this reality.

The second reason why the line was so long was because there were only two people working the registers. There are five or six registers at AMC Neshaminy, but only two were being used for some reason. I had no idea why at the time, but I found out later. Unfortunately, this was a recurring theme, as there were only two people working the concession stand, when, again, there were registers for six employees. My fiancee sat down without any cheesy pretzels or soda - our movie tradition - but just as Get Out started, she said, "F*** this, I want snacks!" I tried to tell her it was OK, but she bolted out of the room. It took her 15 minutes to return. That's how long the damn line was.

So, what was the reason for having to wait so long? Well, some people thought it would be a good idea to purchase movie tickets on their phones. Sounds like a great move, right? You'd think so, but the AMC Neshaminy employees had great difficulty scanning the bar codes on the phones. At one point, my fiancee used the restroom and then made a phone call. This took 10 minutes or so. The employees used those 10 minutes to scan a single person's bar code! I'm not exaggerating. This creepy guy with a mustache stood there, looking dumber than he probably does in other instances, as five AMC Neshaminy employees huddled around the scanner, trying to figure out how to scan his stupid bar code.

I'd be more pissed about this than I already am, but I got my cheesy pretzels. I love cheesy pretzels.




Anyway, I'd like to review both Beauty and the Beast and Get Out. I didn't actually see Beauty and the Beast, but I don't need to. The Hermoine thing aside, there was one thing that instantly told me that this movie would be an abomination: It was available in 3D.

I actually went on a rant about this while standing in line with my fiancee...

Me: Beauty and the Beast is going to blow. Movies in 3D are terrible.

Fiancee: Why?

Me: Because they spend resources on trying to perfect the 3D gimmick when they could be using more energy to strengthen the plot and directing. You can only have so many resources into making a movie, so if energy is spent trying to make the 3D experience cool, then that takes away from other things. It's like when Starbucks started making lots of sandwiches. Their stock tanked because energy was taken away from what they do best, which is making caffeinated drinks. As soon as they stopped making lots of types of sandwiches, their stock rose again.

Fiancee: I think you're overthinking things...

I actually stand by it. Three-dimensional movies are dumb, plus they give me headaches. Apparently, I made a good case because some older lady standing in front of us got this disgusted look on her face as I finished making my point. She then got out of line. So, I either talked her out of seeing this three-dimensional abomination, or my breath stunk so bad that she couldn't take it anymore.

As for Get Out, I thought it was great. I really enjoyed it, and I'd highly recommend it. For those thinking that this is yet another movie that depicts white people as being inherently evil - the commercials make it seem like that's the case - it's really not. The movie feels like it's going in that direction for a while, but there's a pretty cool plot twist that pretty much debunks that mindset. I won't spoil anything, but the twist is great. The movie is suspenseful and genuinely funny in some moments.

In summary, I'm giving Get Out 14.75 stars out of 17 on the WalterFootball.com Movie Rating Scale. Downgrade this to a 13.667 out of 18 if you are in a stupid theater like AMC Neshaminy and are not able to obtain cheesy pretzels.






We decided to eat at the food court following the movie, but my fiancee wanted to check out Macy's first. Macy's apparently was going out of business, so they were having a massive sale. On the way to that store, we passed by a pajama pants store. Yes, a pajama pants store!

Some background: I love wearing pajama pants, and I've argued in the past that pajama pants should replace both jeans and suit pants. If you're asking why, then you are utterly clueless. Pajama pants are very comfortable, that's why. Why on Earth would anyone want to wear anything that's not comfortable? It's stupid. Jeans are an abomination that should be made illegal, and suit pants are not far behind. Pajama pants may not look professional, but that's only because society says it isn't. All it takes is for a few celebrities to show up to important meetings wearing pajama pants, and then everyone would be doing it. Come on, Hermoine, wave your magic wand and make it happen!

Unfortunately, I have some bad news. The pajama pants store is closing. That in itself is confusing because I had never even noticed this pajama pants store before. My fiancee backed this up, citing that it had been open for a couple of months at the most.

What the hell, people? First of all, shame on the store for not giving humanity more of a chance of catching on and enjoying all of your pajama pants. Second, shame on everyone who knew this fine establishment was open, yet didn't purchase any pajama pants. If I had known about this store, I would've bought at least 20 pairs of pajama pants.

Meanwhile, Macy's was an even sadder state of affairs. They were selling everything in the store - literally, everything. That includes the display cases and the mannequins. Here's proof if you don't believe me:



I find it funny that they originally listed mannequins for $25, but once they realized that no one would purchase them, they sliced the prices to a cool $5. Personally, I wouldn't have purchased these for five cents. Do I want one of the mannequins coming to life and killing me in my sleep, a la Silent Hill? No thanks.

Macy's barely had anything of substance remaining. It was sad. Amazon has completely destroyed department stores like it, JC Penney and Sears. And rightfully so. Who wants to wear jeans and go out in public, when purchasing something off Amazon in pajama pants is so much easier?

My fiancee did actually find something she wanted to purchase. She bought three of these fancy plates. They used to be $96, but they were selling at 95 percent off, which came out to be close to $5. We took them to the register, and the cashier rung us up and charged us $60.

"No thanks!" my fiancee snapped.

"Umm... I think you calculated that wrong," I added. "It should be around $15 for all three."

The guy standing next to the cashier whispered something into her ear, and she nodded her head. She pressed some buttons, and the grand total for the plates changed from $60 to less than $15.

There's no way this was an honest mistake. The two of them looked so suspicious. I'm willing to bet their manager told them to rip people off because most don't know how to calculate percentages. Well, me and my 720 math SAT score says, "F*** you, Macy's!" (Humble brag.)

"There's no way I would've paid $20 each for those plates," my fiancee said upon leaving. "Hell, I wouldn't have even paid $6 each!"

And yet, their original price was $96. Ninety-six freaking dollars for a plate. No wonder Macy's is going out of business.

At any rate, the final notable thing at the mall occurred at the food court. I was standing in line for a cheesesteak when a guy giving out free samples, a dude in his 20s who was sporting a porno stache, approached one of the guys preparing my cheesesteak. He looked at him and appeared as though he was about to ask the most profound question of all time.

"Do you look more like your mom or your dad?"

The guy making the cheesesteak looked at this guy like he had three heads, and he appeared to be thinking, "Why the f*** are you asking me the most random question of all time, weirdo?"

Cheesesteak Griller: Uhh... I dunno...

Mustachioed Food Sampler: Tell me! Do you look more like your mom or dad!?

Cheesesteak Griller: Uhh... dad, I think...

Mustachioed Food Sampler: I knew it!!!!!!

The mustachioed man turned around and began whistling happily, as if he was super proud of guessing the answer to this totally irrelevant question. The cheesesteak griller shook his head, gave this guy an odd look, and then went back to grilling.

You know, I'm surprised Neshaminy Mall as a whole isn't going out of business. Between the idiots at the movie theater who couldn't figure out the bar codes; the a**holes at Macy's trying to rip people off; and the weirdo at the food court, there are numerous shady people working at this mall.

Final verdict? I'm giving Neshaminy Mall 9.875 stars out of 26.4 on the official WalterFootball.com Mall Ratings.

LOADING COMMENTS...



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Jerks of the Week - April 1, 2013: April Fools and April Truths
Jerks of the Week - March 25, 2013: It's Not Complicated AT&T Commercials
Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2013: My Second Stalker, Jerks of the Old Gym Pool & Locker Room
Jerks of the Week - March 11, 2013: Blizzard of 2013
Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2013: Jerks of Tulane
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2013: Jerks of New Orleans
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2013: Jerks of Philadelphia International Airport
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2013: Jerks of Bowling Night
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2013: Jerks of Tango: Where They'll Be in 2020
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2013: One Final Night at Tango
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




NFL Picks - Nov. 19


2018 NFL Mock Draft - Nov. 16


2019 NFL Mock Draft - Oct. 20


Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 6


2018 NBA Mock Draft - Aug. 23


NFL Power Rankings - May 5









 





 

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