Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2016





Jerks of the Week: Aug. 29, 2016


JERK OF THE WEEK: Jerks of Ocean City, Maryland. Part 2

This is the second part of my Ocean City, Maryland series. Go here for Jerks of Ocean City, Maryland: Part 1.

My fiancee and I spent two full days in Ocean City, Md., and I'd have to say that our second day was much more entertaining than the first, despite the aforementioned trip to the haunted house. I was hoping that this would actually be the same one that scared me as a child, but if it was, I surely didn't recognize it. I'd say it was still fun though; one of the better haunted houses I've been to. It was especially creepy when this woman with long brown hair covering her face (think the Grudge) followed us for literally five minutes. At first it was like, "Oh this is cool and scary, haha," but then it became downright frightening - which I guess was the point!

Anyway, I noticed the first Jerks of the Week candidate of Day 2 right away, and it was on the beach. This old guy was setting up that Corn Hole game - you know, the one with the two slightly inclined ramps with a hole in them, and you have to throw bean bags into the hole. I don't know if it's actually called Corn Hole, but it sounds right, and I'm too lazy to look it up right now. I'm not about exerting any sort of effort today after watching 48 hours of preseason football this past weekend.

Anyway, this guy was just tossing the bean bags on his own. I figured that he was just practicing. Maybe he had a Corn Hole championship he was preparing for, I don't know. That, or he was a lonely serial killer practicing what could equate to throwing the heads of his victims into garbage cans. Either possibility seems equally plausible to me.

As he was doing this, a couple approached them. The guy was a normal-looking dude, while the girl he was with was a hot tan brunette wearing a red top and blue bikini bottoms. I considered the guy lucky for like 30 seconds - and then that changed when I heard his girlfriend speak.

"OH MY GOD LIKE CAN WE PLAY THIS GAME WHAT IS THIS GAME I WANT TO LIKE PLAY AND STUFF," she shrieked with her shrill voice.

It was horrible. I had to cover my ears to keep them from bleeding.

"WHAT'S LIKE THE POINT OF THIS GAME!?!?! DO WE HAVE TO LIKE THROW THOSE BAGS INTO LIKE THE HOLE AND STUFF!!?!??!"

Good lord. I was really hoping that the Corn Hole guy was a serial killer, as detailed in Scenario B earlier. Anyone who could've shut her up would be declared an American hero in my book.

I couldn't take it anymore. I had to get out of there. I told my fiancee I was going into the ocean, and she joined me for like two minutes before she decided the water was too cold for her. Plus, the strong waves weren't making things any easier. It was kind of chilly, but considering that this may have been the final time I'd be in the ocean until next summer, I decided to stay in a while longer. Besides, that annoying girl was back there waiting for us, and I didn't want to get a headache from her stupid Corn Hole questions.

Minutes after my fiancee went back to our umbrella, I saw a fat Indian man get knocked over by a forceful wave. A younger woman - presumably his daughter or gold-digging wife - helped him up. And then another wave knocked him over again!

I almost died of laughter. Sorry, I just couldn't help it. Fat people falling down is one of the funniest things of all time. Unfortunately, the fat Indian man looked at me menacingly when he noticed that I was getting a kick out of it. I figured it would not be a good thing if he happened to be the serial killer at the beach rather than Corn Hole Man.

A few minutes later, these young girls swam by. They were probably 11 or so. One of them was saying very peculiar things...

Weird Girl: Let's pretend we're boats!

Normal Girl: What?

Weird Girl: Let's pretend we're boats!

Normal Girl: ... You're a boat.

Weird Girl: I know!

As I was pondering the meaning of this exchange...

WHACK!

A colossal wave knocked me over. I fell to the bottom of the ocean floor. I sprung back up as quickly as I could, which was difficult because I was a bit disoriented. I had hoped no one noticed, but I immediately heard some cackling. I looked over, and it was the fat Indian man, who nudged his daughter/wife and pointed at me.

I was embarrassed, but I couldn't blame the Indian man. I did laugh at him, and besides, like I said, seeing fat people fall down is the greatest thing ever.




The rest of my time at the beach wasn't much better. I was bitten by a crab again, and the entire time I was in the water the fat Indian man kept laughing at me. And when I finally had enough, I went back to my fiancee, and all I heard was...

"OH MY GAWD I'M GETTING LIKE SO MUCH BETTER AT THIS GAME LIKE OH MY GAWD I BEAT HIM ALREADY, I CAN PROBABLY BEAT LIKE EVERYONE HERE!!!"

I wanted to fire a rocket launcher to destroy her and her precious Corn Hole game, but I forgot that particular weapon at home. Sucks to be me!

Anyway, it was 5 p.m. soon enough, and the umbrella people I paid like $40 to set up the two chairs and the umbrella had come around to claim their wares. I don't know why they shut down at 5, but whatever. I had enough anyway.

My fiancee thought it would be a cool idea to see a movie, since the boardwalk was kind of lame. We wanted to see Lights Out, which was actually pretty damn good. I highly recommend it.

Dinner would have to come first, and after showering and changing, we drove toward the movie theater and hoped to find a restaurant on the way.

"The Green Turtle!" my fiancee exclaimed, as she spotted that restaurant to her left. "That looks fun, let's go there!"

I was fine with that, especially considering that my last name translated from Russian to English actually means Turtle Man. We went inside, and the man at the counter told us there'd be long wait. We had more than two hours until our movie started, so that was fine. He told us we could sit at the bar and order drinks and appetizers, so that's exactly what we did.

We ordered chicken tenders, and they arrived quickly. Two words:

Holy s**t.

This is a bold statement, but I firmly believe it: The chicken tenders at the Green Turtle are the best chicken tenders on the entire planet. I'm dead serious. If you're ever in Ocean City, Md., go there and order chicken tenders. You will not be disappointed. Trust me, I'm a fat man. I know about these things.

Thirty minutes later, we still weren't seated. My fiancee went back to the old man at the counter, while I listened in on the people to the right of me. One was a guy in his 50s, and he kept ordering tickets for this lottery-type game named Keno. Two attractive women were sitting to his right, and it sounded like he was trying to impress them.

Keno Man: Hey ladies... I'm playing Keno.

Attractive Woman: Uhh... OK?

Keno Man: I can show you how to play. I'm a Keno master.

Attractive Woman: Isn't that just random numbers?

Keno Man: Umm... uhh... yeah, but you have to know how to pick the numbers. That's how you become a Keno master.

Attractive Woman: Whatever you say!

An "A" effort. An "F" for execution. Oh well. You can't get laid at a bar if you don't try - even if you're a Keno master!






My fiancee returned minutes later...

Fiancee: They said the hostess went around looking for us, but she couldn't find us!

Me: But we were here the whole time, which is what we told the old man.

Fiancee: I know. I guess they didn't look too hard.

The hostess led us upstairs, where we were quickly seated. I ordered a buffalo chicken sandwich, hoping it would be great because the other chicken I ate there was awesome. And I was right - except it was totally massive! I even have a picture to prove it:



Look at how big that thing is! (That's what she said.) Not that I'd ever complain about lots of food, but it was difficult to fit into my mouth (That's what she said.) The sandwich was fantastic, but the chicken kept falling out, so I had to cut it up into little pieces (That's what she [serial killer woman] said.)

Meanwhile, there was a group of strange people to the left of us. It was comprised of four women, three of whom were ghastly. Oh, and there was a baby, too. I know you're thinking, Who the hell brings a baby into a bar?, but these women were white trash. The woman holding the baby for most of the time got so drunk that she toppled over into one of the pinball machines. Luckily, she wasn't holding her baby at that moment.

"Darlene, you gotta start watchin' where you're fallin'!" exclaimed one of the other women in her best trailer-park accent. "Start Watchin' where you're fallin'?" So, this is a common occurrence for this individual? And yet, no one is concerned that she's supposed to be caring for a child at this exact moment?

The oldest woman of the group - from what I gathered, she was the baby's grandmother - was absolutely disgusting. She had missing teeth, and the ones she still possessed were stained brown. An obvious meth head, no doubt.

Meth Head Grandma wasn't bothering me at all until my fiancee went to use the bathroom after we paid for our meal. I took a gulp of my beer, and noticed out of the corner of my eye that someone was staring at me. It was Meth Head Grandma. I turned away, and 30 seconds later, I looked back. Meth Head Grandma was still staring me down, probably undressing me with her eyes. A minute later, I glanced over again. Meth Head Grandma was still staring, and this time, she licked her lips.

And I thought the Grudge chick from the haunted house was scary! I had to get out of there before I was raped by white trash. I went downstairs and waited for my fiancee outside of the bathroom. She was surprised I was there until I explained what happened.

"Eww, that's disgusting!" she remarked. "Disgusting" may sound appropriate, but believe me, it's the understatement of the year.

As we walked out, we passed by the aforementioned old man at the counter. He didn't seem strange until I overheard him muttering under his breath, "I hate people. I hate people. I hate people." I then glanced on the sign-up sheet right next to him. He wrote the following phrase 10 or so times:

"PEOPLE SUCK!"

Ladies and gentlemen, I have found the serial killer of Ocean City, Md.!

LOADING COMMENTS...



More Jerks of the Week:
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Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




NFL Picks - Sept. 21


2018 NFL Mock Draft - Sept. 21


Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 6


2018 NBA Mock Draft - Aug. 23


2019 NFL Mock Draft - June 1


NFL Power Rankings - May 5









 





 

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