Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2016





Jerks of the Week: Dec. 19, 2016


JERK OF THE WEEK: Relaxation Saturday

The NFL season is great, but it's also very exhausting. I can't remember the last time I got eight hours of sleep. Hell, I can't remember the last time I was able to get more than six hours. In addition to working about 75 hours per week on the site, I've had to do extra stuff this fall. From looking at wedding venues, to attending weddings of friends, to attempting to fix malicious virus re-directs, I've been absolutely swamped, and there has hardly been time for any sort of relaxation. I'm completely worn out. I'd petition the NFL to let me have a bye week, but I don't have the time to write that e-mail!

I appeared to have a relaxing day scheduled one recent Saturday. I planned to go to the gym and then soak in the hot tub to do some thinking about my picks. Later that evening, my fiancee and I planned to get massages at Hand & Stone Massage and Facial Spa, which I first wrote about back in February. I've since gone back there again, and I have to say that I like it. I have the back of a 95-year-old (or Cher, for those of you who want a pop-culture reference), so anything that helps my back is very welcome.

Unfortunately, my hopes of having a relaxing Saturday were quickly thwarted. I was reminded that I'd have to attend my sister's gender-reveal party in the afternoon. Spending time with family is fine, but I knew that this would come at the expense of getting work done prior to the massages, and I'd just have to do work afterward. Thus, I once again would be sleeping for four hours or so.

And yes, I'm aware that these are first-world problems. However, first-world problems are the worst sort of problems. Believe me, there's some starving kid in either Somalia or Camden, N.J. right now who would absolutely not trade places with me under any circumstances.

"Well, at least I can spend time in the hot tub and then get a massage," I told myself as I groggily hopped into the car Saturday morning, failing to realize what a crazy day I was in store for.




Prior to relaxing in the hot tub, I had to swim a mile. I've been on a Dorito diet lately - I've had bags of Doritos sitting on my desk for the past several weeks, and I've eaten many Doritos every day - so I knew I would have to shed some pounds to avoid transitioning from fatness to obesity.



Look how enticing that is! Looks like Fred the Fish is trying to steal some Doritos... can't let him do that... NOM NOM NOM NOM!!!

Anyway, halfway through my mile, I noticed that there was a man in his 60s wearing what appeared to be blue tighty-whities standing by the pool. He then hopped into the lane next to mine and appeared to begin racing me! He was pretty fast for a guy his age, but I managed to beat him without going into any sort of sprint.

I didn't think much of this, figuring it was some sort of coincidence. When I came back down to his end, I noticed that he was resting at the wall. As soon as I pushed off the wall again, he was swimming side by side with me again! I beat him again, and the next time I saw him at the wall, he took off once more. If once is an accident, and twice is a trend, thrice is a weird man wearing blue tighty-whities trying to race you in the pool at every opportunity!

Even though he was sprinting and I was doing a full mile, I actually didn't have much of an issue with this, as it gave me motivation to go a bit faster than usual. However, I was not, under any circumstances, losing any race to an old man wearing blue tighty-whities.

This guy raced me at every opportunity until I finished my mile. He was actually startled that I stopped because it seemed like he was about to take off again. He then took this opportunity to address me with a thick Russian accent...

Blue Tighty-Whitie Man: You going so fast!

Me: Thanks.

Blue Tighty-Whitie Man: Sanks? No sanks! You go too fast!

Me: Too fast?

Blue Tighty-Whitie Man: I suppose to be fastest svimmer Saturday morning! Vhy you go faster zan me!?

Was this guy serious? He was actually pissed that I beat him in all of these "races?" Why was he supposed to be the fastest "svimmer" on Saturday morning?

Me: I'm just swimming, man. You're the one who raced me.

Blue Tighty-Whitie Man: Because I suppose to be fastest!

Me: Sorry, I didn't see the rules that said you were supposed to be fastest.

I got out of the pool, as Blue Tighty-Whitie Man gave me a dirty scowl. I wandered over to the hot tub, and before I discuss what I saw, I have to mention that the hot tub is blocked off by a column, so I couldn't tell who was occupying it from the pool.

My heart immediately sank. There were six individuals in the hot tub, including Skeletor.

I've discussed Skeletor many times recently. She's a sickly skinny 80-year-old woman who has been hitting on me. She's touched my arm, played footsies with me and even invited me over to her house for some Cobb salad.

I considered avoiding the hot tub, but I needed to go in there to do some thinking about my picks. Plus, there was a chance she wouldn't talk to me because she was surrounded by guys, some of whom were my age.

I turned out to be right. Skeletor didn't even address me. I don't think she even saw me enter because she was so distracted by the other guys. Unfortunately, I couldn't do any thinking because people were talking the entire time. Some guys were having a heated political discussion, and then she interrupted everyone by asking people where they were from. Then, she looked around at everyone and asked, "Anyone here from Copenhagen, Denmark?"

And no, she didn't do so jokingly. She was serious about this, as she looked disappointed when no one said yes. I don't know why she expected anyone to be from Copenhagen in the hot tub of an LA Fitness in the Philly suburbs. She appeared to be upset, however, as she probably wanted to invite anyone from Copenhagen to her house for some horrifying Cobb salad.






I ended up getting home late because there was a funeral procession. I've discussed my disdain for these before. I'm fine with close family following the hearse to the cemetery, but why does every a**hole invited to the funeral have to drive slowly with their blinkers on? This is not 1950. People have GPSes, and they can find the f***ing cemetery. Can we stop it with these damn funeral processions already!?

Anyway, I arrived home, and my fiancee told me to hurry because we were running late. After a quick shower, I asked her what I should wear.

"I don't care," she said.

OK, then. I grabbed a hoodie with jeans, and she shook her head.

"Don't wear a hoodie," she said.

All right, fine. I picked out a button-down shirt.

"Don't wear that; it's too fancy," she said.

Hmm... what about a t-shirt and a light jacket?

Fiancee: Pick something else.

Me: I give up. Can you just tell me what to wear?

Fiancee: I don't care what you wear.

Me: Uhh... you clearly do!

My fiancee let out a frustrated grunt and scanned my closet quickly. "Wear this," she said, handing me a sweatshirt that didn't have a hood.

We drove over to my parents' house pretty hastily, but our concerns about being late were quickly quelled because we saw others who were arriving at 1:30 instead of 1 p.m. After greeting some people, I immediately rushed toward the food and piled as many sandwiches onto my plate as possible.

I walked over to my cousins. One of them had a question for me.

Cousin: Do you think it's going to be a boy or a girl?

Me: My guess is that it's going to either be a boy or a girl.

This made some people laugh, or perhaps pretend laugh. I couldn't tell. Either way, I was informed that some woman was walking around with a whiteboard, asking all the guests to write "boy" in blue marker or "girl" in pink marker just to see who would be right.

This woman eventually approached me. It was time to work my impeccable humor again. I reached for both markers, and she grabbed my arm.

Woman: What are you doing?

Me: I think it's going to be a boy or a girl!

Woman: No! Pick only one!

Me: But... but... boy... or... girl...

Woman: Pick one, or you're not allowed to vote!

Having my manhood stripped away, I picked up the blue pen and wrote my name. I actually thought it was going to be a girl, so I hedged my bets.

About a half hour later, the gender was revealed. It was announced as a girl!

Everyone congratulated each other, with all of the guests being in high spirits. That is, of course, when my dad's friend, a guy in his early 60s, asked, "Hey, I guessed it right, what do I get as a prize?"

I used this opportunity to make another great joke.

"A braaand neeeww caaaaaar!" I announced.

The old guy looked at me, completely confused.

Older Guy: What?

Me: A braaand neeeww caaaarr!

Older Guy: New car? What are you talking about?

Me: Like, from the game shows...?

Older Guy: Walter, you can't go around telling people that they've won cars. It's misleading, and it's not nice.

I sulked away and went outside, refusing to talk to most people until the end of the party. I just sat in the sun, which drained even more energy out of me.

Anyway, I didn't have much time to do work prior to the massage, but I did what I could. Having to pick up my dog from doggy day care ate away more time, and before I knew it, we had to go to Hand & Stone for our appointment.

The massage itself was great. At least, I think it was. I dozed off for a while, which is something my fiancee noticed.

"You were snoring so loudly!" she remarked after we were finished.

"Uhh..." I said in response, very groggily.

As we were about to pay, the woman at the front desk talked to us about getting a monthly membership. I tried to say no, but she kept talking and wouldn't stop citing all of the money we would save. Eventually, I just had enough.

"Fine, fine, here's my credit card, I'll do it," I said.

She beamed and printed out some papers for me to sign. I have no idea what was on them. I could've signed my soul over to Hand & Stone for all I know. Either way, I just wanted to go home and sleep - except I couldn't, because I had tons of work to do.

It was a struggle, but I finally got everything done by 4:30 a.m. It was very difficult, as I found myself dozing off at my computer a few times, but I finally got there. By the time I got to bed, it was 5:30. I set my alarm for 10:45, frustrated that I once again wouldn't get much sleep. I then thought about those starving kids in Somalia and Camden, and was instantly jealous about how lucky they were.

LOADING COMMENTS...



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Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




NFL Picks - Sept. 20


2018 NFL Mock Draft - Sept. 14


Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 6


2018 NBA Mock Draft - Aug. 23


2019 NFL Mock Draft - June 1


NFL Power Rankings - May 5









 





 

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