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Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011




Jerks of the Week for July 11, 2011


JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Casey Anthony

My friend Michelle posted the following on my Facebook wall on Wednesday night: "I've got a hunch who your main jerk of the week will be this week, and I'm excited to see it."

I wasn't sure whom she was talking about. Did she spot some fat lady trying to eat me at the pool? If so, I didn't notice - and that would be terrible news because that would mean that the fat ladies are getting sneakier and much more cunning.

Fortunately, that was not the case. Michelle was referring to Casey Anthony, a woman accused of killing her toddler. Anthony was recently found not guilty to the chagrin of everyone on Twitter and Facebook. Seriously, every other tweet I saw on my timeline (@walterfootball) Tuesday afternoon looked like, "OMG OMG OMGZ I CANT BELIEVE #CASEYANTHONY WASNT GUILTY OMG OMG OMG OMG OGM."

I honestly hadn't even heard about Casey Anthony until about a week ago. I forget whom I was talking to, but I had the following exchange with a friend when I saw her on TV:

Me: Wow, she's pretty hot.

Friend: Dude, you know she killed her toddler, right?

Me: Meh... she's still hot.

My friend Ryan was even more apathetic. When my friend Ces posted "You're one lucky POS, Casey Anthony" on Facebook, Ryan responded:

Who cares? Hopefully this stupid case won't be on TV all the time anymore. This has been four years of useless. I mean that the prosecution's case had pretty poor physical evidence, so they had to rely on a good story. And if it wasn't for Nancy Grace and the other media coverage, none of us would know or care about this. Basically the defense just had to attack with a story the prosecution could not refute.

I know absolutely nothing about this case, and since she was found not guilty, there's nothing we can do about it. There was even more outrage when O.J. Simpson was declared innocent despite the fact that he obviously murdered his wife. I mean, he even tried writing a book about it (Ten Easy Steps to Kill Your Wife - a great read according to Jeffrey Dahmer and Ted Bundy) but he ultimately got his just desserts when he was arrested for a billion other things recently. If this Anthony chick is truly guilty of killing her toddler, then she'll eventually get what's coming to her. It's only a matter of time.

I'm not as angry as everyone else though. In fact, quite the opposite. I might feel differently about this if I wasn't so ignorant, but since I know nothing about the Anthony case, I'm pretty relieved that she's not going to prison. I mean, isn't sending a hot chick to jail a horrible crime in itself?

Look, I live in Philadelphia, which is renowned as the "fattest city in America," according to some study. And it's true. Fat women try to eat me at the pool every day. It's a miracle I've survived this long. And even worse, there are no attractive chicks at the gym whatsoever. They've either all moved out of the city or have been completely devoured.

I hope Casey Anthony moves to Philly because we need more hot chicks here. Hell, I'll even date her. We can have a sexy time, and maybe she'll give me a bastard son or daughter. And if she kills that child? Meh... she's still hot.




JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 2: Saturday at the Pool

Speaking of my gym pool, I've started going on Saturdays recently. I've always played basketball on Saturday, but that's not possible anymore because I've injured my right knee. I can't even plant my foot when going in for a layup. How in the world am I going to run from those fat women, you ask? I don't know. I figure I'm a goner.

I still can swim, however, and because of my knee injury, I've discovered that there are plenty of new jerks at my gym pool on Saturdays. Here are three:


1. Lane Line Humper:

Something that really pisses me off is when I'm swimming and people decide to cross my lane right in front of me. Waiting five seconds for me to pass by is too much to ask, apparently.

I was in the middle of my mile when this fat Russian walrus of a woman did this, and I had to hit the brakes quickly to avoid being sucked into her gravity well. I was pretty mad.

Me: WHAT THE HELL!?!?!

Fat Walrus: I sorry, I sorry. Excuse. Excuse.

You know, I could have accepted that apology if she had just moved on. Instead, she remained in my lane and plopped on top of the lane line. The fact that the lane line didn't snap in half defied the laws of physics.

This woman just remained on the lane line for a few minutes. Eventually I noticed that she was moving her body up and down, and it seemed like she was actually humping the lane line.

Was this extremely weird, even for my gym? Absolutely. But you can't blame Lane Line Humper. I mean, the lane line is the only thing willing to have sex with her, so it's not like she has any other options.

Of course, if the lane line could talk, it would probably scream, "Get off me you fat piece of s***!" And if that were to happen, I wonder if Lane Line Humper would respond, "I sorry, I sorry. Excuse. Excuse."


2. Shamed Asian:

There was an Asian family at the gym pool two Saturdays ago. There were two parents and what seemed to be their three children. The two older kids, one male and one female, were anywhere between 17 and 24. The dude was pretty fat, while the girl had a nice body but a hideous face. Meh... she's still hot.

The third kid was a boy of about 8. When I finished my mile and showered off - in my swim trunks, of course - I walked into the locker area and saw the little Asian kid running around. He walked up to every single person and counted them. For instance, he sprinted up to an old man and yelled "one!" then ran over to a dude in his 20s and shouted "two!" and then went to me and screamed "three!" and so on. It was rather annoying and seemingly pointless.

Unfortunately for this little Asian kid, his dad stepped out of the shower area and saw what he was doing. He grabbed his son and began shouting something in some oriental language. He seriously yelled for a good five minutes. I'm not sure what he said, but this is my best guess:

"I ask youuuuuu to count to a mirrion, but you count srowry and do not even get to a twerve! Youuuuuu bring a shame to famiry!"

Poor kid. His future grandchildren will be made fun of in school because of the disgrace he brought to his family two Saturdays ago.


3. Russian JoePa:

Joe Paterno is one of the greatest people ever to live. He's going to be 85 this December, yet he's still coaching Penn State football. In fact, I was told that he still does crunches in the locker room to get his team motivated. That's awesome.

I found JoePa's doppelganger. This old Russian man at my gym looks EXACTLY like him. They have the same facial features and expressions, the same semi-dyed black hair, the same thick glasses. It's really uncanny. The only difference is that Russian JoePa is fat, but as a I pointed out before, Philadelphia is the fattest city in the world, so it's not Russian JoePa's fault that he's about 180 pounds overweight.

The real JoePa is cool because he doesn't take s*** from anyone. A few years ago, he was in a car accident. I forget some of the details, but he was scolding the woman in the other vehicle for driving poorly. Her husband shouted, "Hey, that's my wife you're talking to!" and JoePa responded, "Well that's your problem!"

Russian JoePa doesn't take s*** from anyone either. I was at the quarter-mile mark this past Saturday when Russian JoePa decided to join me in my lane. Instead of swimming, however, Russian JoePa just floated in the middle of my lane. He didn't move anywhere; he just remained in one spot, so I had to swim around him. I would have asked him to move, but Russian JoePa would have kicked my a**.

I saw him in the locker room afterward, and we had the following exchange:

Russian JoePa: You svim good!

Me: Thank you, JoeP... I mean sir.

Russian JoePa: You svim very good!

Me: Thanks!

Russian JoePa: But you vill never be as fast as Michael Velps!

Me: Umm... what?

Russian JoePa: Michael Velps svim in Olympic.

Me: Yeah, I know who Michael Phelps is.

Russian JoePa: You svim good but you vill never be like Michael Velps! Never!

Me: Ooookkkkaayyy??

I have no desire to swim as fast as Michael "Velps" because I don't want to put in the work. It's not worth it. What do you get out of it? Some gold medal that you can unwrap and eat? No thanks. I can buy some chocolate at CVS.

If I did aspire to be like "Velps," however, I would have really appreciated the motivation, and I wouldn't have expected anything less from Russian JoePa. I do wonder if Russian JoePa does this more often. Does he go to North Philly and say "You vill never be like Michael Jordans!" to young black kids?

You may wonder, "Walt, are you on crack? They'd kill him if he went down there and did that." No way. If they tried anything, Russian JoePa would kick their a** - just like the real JoePa.




JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 3: The Spelling Bee

I got sucked into watching the Spelling Bee on ESPN a few weeks ago. I just returned from my dad's birthday dinner, so I was in a food coma on the couch. The remote control was too far away from me, so I had no choice but to watch this abomination.

I've never discussed the Spelling Bee before. I think it's a joke. It's so pointless. Who cares if you know how to spell something? As long as you know the difference between "here" and "hear," and "it's" and "its," and "there" and "they're" and "their" and "thurrr," you're good. See? "You're" good.

The words these kids had to spell weren't even real. I jotted three of them down: samiel, caciocavallo and zortisco. All three of these words have squiggly red lines under them in my Microsoft Word doc. You try it if you don't believe me. If Microsoft doesn't recognize these things as words, then they aren't real.

And that brings me to my next point. Microsoft Word has a built-in spell checker. If you can't afford Word, then you can just copy everything into a Gmail e-mail and spell check that way. Knowing how to spell complex words is pretty useless in our day and age.

I think these kids should have to memorize something more useful. I'd recommend women's bra sizes, but that might make me sexist. Instead, these kids should be forced to memorize women's phone numbers instead. Think about it - they'd be the perfect wingmen. If you're at a bar trying to get a chick's number and your phone dies, all you have to do is ask one of these nerds to remember her digits.

At any rate, there were five kids remaining when I tuned in. Three were girls. One was this tall Indian chick who looked like a serial killer. Whenever she spelled something, she'd write it out on her hand. Well, she was either spelling the words out or calculating how to kill the judges without anyone noticing.

Girl No. 2 was a 14-year-old Asian chick who couldn't keep her legs closed. I'm not saying she's a slut; she literally refused to close her legs while sitting down despite wearing a dress. Everyone in America would have seen her no-no special place if, you know, anyone were watching this garbage.

The third girl was the most likeable of all the remaining contestants. I think she was half-Asian, half-white. She kept bobbing her head slightly as if she were listening to music. What made her cool was that she candidly corrected the lead judge whenever he pronounced the word incorrectly. Unfortunately, she was beaten out in the finals by the Indian serial killer. I'm ashamed to admit that her half-white part was clearly the catalyst of her demise.

The two males, as you can imagine, were dweebs. One was Indian. He was so scrawny that he looked like he would shatter into a million pieces if someone accidentally bumped into him. The other boy was white, so he naturally was the first to be eliminated. He was the most peculiar out of all of them, however. When he was given a word, he would constantly repeat it. For example, when he was asked to spell samiel, he said, "Samiel... samiel... samiel... samiel... samiel... samiel... samiel... samiel... samiel... samiel..." He literally said it 10 times. Although I was in a food coma, I was able to count up to 10.

While these kids were very strange, what they were able to accomplish was impressive. I think they went 20 or so words without misspelling anything, despite vague hints from the judge. Seriously, when they asked for a word in a sentence, it was the most ambiguous sentence ever.

For example, one of the kids asked for caciocavallo to be used in a sentence. The judge said, "The grandfather enjoys the caciocavallo."

Wow, how helpful! Why not just say "The grandfather thinks about the caciocavallo when he's taking a s***," or "The grandfather whacks off with the caciocavallo every night?"

The definitions were even worse. For example, zortsico was defined as a "basque song." I remember thinking, "What the f*** is a basque?"

At that point, I realize why I hate these people. Despite the fact that I graduated from Penn State with a journalism degree and currently write for a living, I scored a 460 on the English portion of the SAT. Why? Because I didn't know what the f*** dumb words like zortsico and caciocavallo and basque meant in the analogy section. A**holes like the people in charge of the Spelling Bee fabricate these words and then penalize fat slobs like me for getting them wrong on the SAT.

F*** you, Spelling Bee. F*** you and your dumb, made-up gay words. And no, I'm not being a damn homophobe by calling them gay words. The Spelling Bee was actually held at some place called the Gaylord Center. So they were actually gay words. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

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VincetHot 01-04-2014 12:52 am xxx.xxx.xxx5.97 (total posts: 1)
1     1

Patti I agree completely. Likability alone is not enguoh. I know I've been disappointed when I chose to work with someone I liked, but later figured out didn't have the right skills/tools/availability for the project or situation. Likability is, though, a key buying criterion. A talented person who is difficult to work with, lacks integrity, or has different views on what I consider common sense can derail a project or team just as quickly as a likable, but unskilled person.
Servando 01-02-2014 06:28 am xxx.xxx.xxx.211 (total posts: 1)
1     1

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Kamal 01-02-2014 03:01 am xxx.xxx.xxx.218 (total posts: 1)
1     1

I honestly don't get into picitols at all (against my beliefs), but no one can blame the White House or anyone else for that matter on what we feed our children and ourselves. An old adage, you can only lead a horse to water ..comes to mind. It is up to us, as parents, to make sure that our children eat healthy, even if it means that bring their own lunch to school. HilLesha recently posted..
Scott 08-12-2011 09:01 am xxx.xxx.xxx.150 (total posts: 1)
16     22

Who names there kid roy anyways?
James 08-08-2011 04:49 pm xxx.xxx.xxx2.34 (total posts: 1)
18     24

Hey Walt, you are a stupid! So that ugly demon casey kills her daughter and you are ok but you act like a scorned b**ch about Vick and the dogs?? You sir are a loser. You and the other losers who are rewarding her with money for killing her child should all be thrown off a bridge. just sick!
Lucas 07-16-2011 08:23 pm xxx.xxx.xxx4.68 (total posts: 1)
17     24

I agree about Anthony. If she really did it, then that's something she'll have to deal with personally for the rest of her life. As far as the law is concerned, she's innocent. If they really thought she did it, the prosecution would have presented a better case. So now it's just one fine lady that's out tomorrow I believe. Keep up the good work, Walt.
Roy 07-16-2011 09:55 am xxx.xxx.xxx5.90 (total posts: 1)
32     148

Hey Walt, have you ever considered making yourself the "Jerk of the Week"? You know, for not getting your driver's license until you were 20 (virgin much?), for swimming instead of doing male exercise and otherwise being an uber-conservative, close-minded POS? I know you see yourself as some sort of Dennis-Leary-meets- Daniel-Tosh, but you're like every other snarky, pampered, miserable a-hole born in the last thirty years. So, yeah, you for "Jerk of the Week"--give it some thought.
follower 07-13-2011 11:49 pm xxx.xxx.xxx6.78 (total posts: 1)
17     23

how could walter get a 460 on the english?? He writes well and doesn't write with grammatical errors.
Bronson 07-13-2011 01:39 pm xxx.xxx.xxx.204 (total posts: 1)
17     24

Casey Anthony-type stuff happens every day and is only an hot button because of it's overexposure by the media. Check out the dailyrottennews if you're really interested in every day atrocities rather than pretending to be outraged by this one.

I really wanted the cute half-asian, Candadian girl to win the spelling bee but would have been fine with any other contestant winning, just because the tall Indian girl was so creepy.
Dan 07-13-2011 10:45 am xxx.xxx.xxx5.34 (total posts: 1)
17     27

The Casey Anthony section was not funny, not because i think she was guilty or innocent(i don't care and didn't pay attention). It wasn't funny because you weren't funny.

You sort of redeemed yourself with the last two paragraphs of the spelling bee jerk of the week. You should have started with it and replaced the Anthony jokes.
the man 07-12-2011 09:57 pm xxx.xxx.xxx.108 (total posts: 2)
17     22

no satire like a "im lonely and i want to bang anything im desperate satire"
Adam C 07-12-2011 05:35 pm xxx.xxx.xxx12.4 (total posts: 1)
18     22

Nothin' like a li'l satire to bring out all the angry morons.
Nate 07-12-2011 01:32 pm xxx.xxx.xxx0.32 (total posts: 1)
18     22

Lol @ Harold Ballsagna

I'm sure if Casey Anthony was accused of killing some mutts instead of a little girl Walt would have been all over this case.
Harold Ballsagna 07-12-2011 10:47 am xxx.xxx.xxx36.2 (total posts: 1)
22     21

LOL.... Walt, this just proves that if Michael Vick had a set of tits and would down your hogan he'd be the best player evah!
Riley 07-11-2011 09:17 pm xxx.xxx.xxx.159 (total posts: 1)
17     22

best jerks of the week ever



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Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
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Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




Fantasy Football Rankings - July 23


2015 NBA Mock Draft - July 1


2015 NFL Mock Draft - June 10


NFL Free Agents


NFL Picks - Feb. 2





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