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Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010




Jerks of the Week for Aug. 30, 2010


JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: My Bad Dude

This Jerks of the Week entry has to do with fantasy football. Even if you don't know a single thing about fantasy football, keep reading. I'll try to explain it in simple terms because the douchebaggery that occurred here is pretty remarkable.

I took part in a fantasy football draft two weeks ago that I hosted at my new house. I had the sixth pick in this 12-man league. The night prior to our draft, I received an instant message from a friend who happened to have the 12th pick. Let's refer to this friend as My Bad Dude (you'll see why later).

My Bad Dude: Who should I draft with my 12th and 13th picks?

Me: I dunno, best players on your cheatsheet.

*** I'm already in a bad mood. What kind of a question is this? Why would I tell him whom to pick when I want certain players to drop down to me in the second round? ***

My Bad Dude: Who should I get?

Me: I told you man, best guys available.

My Bad Dude: Come on, tell me.

Me: Maybe the top running back and receiver available. Who are you looking at?

My Bad Dude: I'm not sure. Maybe Shonn Greene. Maybe Jamaal Charles. Uhh... maybe Calvin Johnson. Maybe Randy Moss. Maybe Steven Jackson.

Me: There you go, take the guys you want the most out of those five.

My Bad Dude: Who should I get out of those five?

Me: Ugh. I have no idea, man.

What am I, a consultant? Well, I guess I am because I own this Web site. Whoops. Whatever, though. This is not what pissed me off.

A few hours later in the night, I just watched the Chargers-Bears game. Ryan Mathews, the Chargers' rookie running back, really impressed me. I loved that they were using him in the passing game, which made him a more lucrative player in our fantasy football league. For whatever reason, I felt the urge to tell someone, and My Bad Dude was the only person who was online.

Me: I just watched a guy I'm going to be targeting in the second round tomorrow. He'll be higher in my rankings in the next update.

My Bad Dude: Who?

Me: I'm not telling you because you might take him, haha.

My Bad Dude: Come on man, tell me.

Me: Ugh.

My Bad Dude: Is it Jamaal Charles?

Me: No. I didn't write about this running back yet on the stock updates on the site.

10 minutes later...

My Bad Dude: Is it Ryan Mathews?

*** $#I+!!! ***

Me: I dunno.

My Bad Dude: You can tell me. We're friends, you can't lie to me.

Me: Fine. Yeah, it's Mathews.

My Bad Dude: Really, he's that good?

I went on to explain to him why I loved Mathews and told him that I was pretty confident I could get him in the second round. The following day, My Bad Dude was the last person to show up. He pulled me aside...

My Bad Dude: I might take Ryan Mathews at No. 13.

Me: That's funny. Wait, you're kidding right?

My Bad Dude: Ryan Mathews might be really good.

Me: I just told you that last night!

My Bad Dude: Uhh... I know...

Me: You never even considered him! If I never mentioned him, you wouldn't even be thinking about him right now.

My Bad Dude: Yeah, haha, that's true.

With the sixth pick, I selected Andre Johnson - a points per reception monster. I was eager to land Mathews with my second-round choice.

A few minutes later, my aforementioned friend was on the clock. With the 12th pick, he opted for Shonn Greene. Suddenly, there was a long pause. The room fell silent. His next selection took what seemed like 10 minutes. Finally, he made his choice.

My Bad Dude: Uhh... Ryan Mathews?

Wow. Really?

Me: You've gotta be kidding me.

My Bad Dude: Uhh... my bad dude...

My blood pressure soared to 400/200. What does that mean, "my bad dude?" How can saying "my bad dude" justify something like this? And can "my bad dude" be used as an excuse for anything?

President George W. Bush: Osama bin Laden, you're a douche for killing thousands of people on 9/11!

Osama bin Laden: Uhh... my bad dude...

President George W. Bush: Oh. Well, I was going to retaliate my blowing your Muslim a** into outer space, but because you said it's "your bad," we're all good now!

There it is. With a stolen fantasy player, my friend, My Bad Dude, has discovered how to get out of any crime or bad situation. Cheat on your girlfriend? Things will be fine with a "my bad dude." Get caught stealing a car? Just say, "my bad dude" to get out of it. Pull a Jay Mariotti by getting arrested for domestic violence? Just tell the authorities "my bad, dude" and everything will be great!

Just don't expect your friend to give you anymore fantasy football insight after you make a bad.




JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 2: Crappy Fantasy Traders

*** Note: Once again, if you don't play fantasy football, some of this might seem boring to you. Skip ahead to the Real-Life Equivalents in this Jerks of the Week entry to fully understand how crappy some of these trades are. ***

I love playing fantasy football, but the one part I absolutely dislike is trading.

Now, under normal circumstances, I wouldn't have a problem with it. Trading players could be fun. What ruins it, however, are the handful of greedy people in each league who continuously try to rip you off.

Last year, I witnessed three completely awful trades (two from My Bad Dude). I wrote them down so I could save them for the 2010 fantasy football draft season.

Crappy Trade No. 1: Walt trades Chris Johnson and Greg Jennings to My Bad Dude for Frank Gore and Donald Driver.

Chris Johnson was only the No. 1 fantasy player last year. Greg Jennings, meanwhile, was Green Bay's No. 1 receiver. I was offered a deal to trade Johnson for an inferior, injury-prone running back and Green Bay's No. 2 receiver. Yeah, that makes a ton of sense.

Real-Life Equivalent: You're dating Megan Fox (Chris Johnson) and also seeing Alison Brie (Greg Jennings) on the side. Someone comes up to you and says, "I'll take Megan and Alison off your hands. In exchange, you can date my babes, the lovely Rosie O'Donnell and Sally Struthers."

Thanks, but no thanks. I don't want to be eaten on my third date.

Crappy Trade No. 2: Man Eaters trades Roddy White and Thomas Jones to My Bad Dude for Terrell Owens, Cadillac Williams and Donald Driver.

OK, this trade had nothing to do with me. My friend Kate (Man-Eaters in my PPR Fantasy Football League) told me that My Bad Dude offered this horrific deal to her.

Roddy White and Thomas Jones were both top 10 fantasy players at their respective positions last year. Terrell Owens at this point was really struggling in Buffalo. Cadillac Williams was worthless. And My Bad Dude was trying desperately to unload Donald Driver, so he must have been bad too.

Real-Life Equivalent: This trade happened in the early 1990s when the Philadelphia 76ers traded future Hall of Famer Charles Barkley for three pieces of poop named Jeff Hornacek, Tim Perry and Andrew Lang.

For a non-sports equivalent, just imagine being offered three quarters for two $20 bills. That has to be a good trade because you're getting more of something, right!?

Crappy Trade No. 3: Walt trades Santonio Holmes, Anthony Gonzalez and Laurence Maroney to Joe for Jeremy Shockey, Chris Chambers and Buccaneers Defense.

This is THE WORST OFFERED TRADE IN FANTASY FOOTBALL HISTORY.

Santonio Holmes was a borderline top 10 receiver. Laurence Maroney sucked, but was scoring touchdowns like there was no tomorrow. Anthony Gonzalez at the time was rumored to be coming back to the lineup soon.

My friend Joe wanted to be swap those three quality fantasy players for Jeremy Shockey, an injured tight end; Chris Chambers, a crappy receiver; and the Buccaneers defense, one of the worst defenses in the NFL (and defenses are generally worthless in fantasy football).

I was really appalled by this. In fact, part of my soul died when I received this offer in the e-mail.

Real-Life Equivalent: With part of my soul dead, coming up with a real-life equivalent for this disaster of a potential deal was tough. Luckily, I managed...

Best Buy Employee: Hi, welcome to Best Buy. How may I help you?

Crappy Fantasy Trader: I'm looking for an LED HDTV.

Best Buy Employee: Excellent, sir. Here they are. What size are you looking for?

Crappy Fantasy Trader: I'd say 46 inches.

Best Buy Employee: Great. They're on sale right now for $1,299.99.

Crappy Fantasy Trader: Uhh... $1,299.99? That doesn't sound acceptable to me.

Best Buy Employee: Well, we don't haggle over prices at Best Buy. You can try Sears if you'd like, but we have better prices than them.

Crappy Fantasy Trader: No. I'm going to make you an offer you can't refuse.

Best Buy Employee: What sort of offer?

Crappy Fantasy Trader: Hold on. Let me see what I have. Hmm... OK. I have this $5 bill. I also have five pebbles I found outside your store. I also have three cigarettes, but they're wet so you have to wait until they dry so you can smoke them.

Best Buy Employee: Umm... sir, that's not even close to the amount we're looking for.

Crappy Fantasy Trader: Fine, fine. I have three dry cigarettes. I also have two dimes in my wallet. Does that help? Oh, and here's some gum.

Best Buy Employee: Get out of the store, you cheap f***ing a**hole.

If some people in my fantasy leagues are hurt by reading this entry, too bad. I want all crappy fantasy trading to end. I want the missing part of my soul back.




JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 3: Larry Johnson

If you don't know who Larry Johnson is, he's an a**hole. That's all there is to it. He's just an a**hole.

Larry Johnson is actually a running back in the NFL. He used to play for the Chiefs, but was run out of Kansas City after making homophobic remarks to the media. He then went on a Twitter rampage. Last November, I posted his Twitter posts on my site and commented on each of them. Here they are if you didn't see it:

1. "My father played for the coach from 'rememeber the titans.' Our coach played golf. My father played for redskins briefley. Our coach. Nuthn."

Larry Johnson's dad played for Denzel Washington? Wowowowowowowowowow!!!

By the way, Johnson sounds like a little kid saying, "My dad can beat up yours!"

2. "think bout a clever diss then that wit ur [expletive] pic. Christopher street boy. Is what us east coast cats call u."

Johnson's an "east coast cat?" Really? He went to high school in the Penn State area, which is not on the East Coast. He now plays in Kansas City, which is not on the East Coast. When was Johnson indoctrinated as an "east coast cat?" I'd like to know this because I'm beginning to think that Johnson is a bit of a fraud.

3. "Make me regret it. Lmao. U don't stop my checks. Lmao. So 'tweet' away."

Here, Johnson was bragging that he makes more money than some guy who commented on his Twitter page.

Well, Johnson's right. He does make more money than that guy. But Johnson just happens to be lucky; not all of us are cunning enough to steal millions of dollars from a clueless NFL organization.

***

At any rate, after a short stint with the Bengals, Johnson found a new home in Washington. Yes, after waiting his entire life, Johnson is finally a member of this East Coast Cat organization. Never mind the fact that the Redskins will soon cut him for sucking. That's not important.

The point of this Jerks of the Week entry is to discuss what happened in July. Johnson was ordered to 40 hours of community service after shoving and spitting alcohol on women in Kansas City nightclubs, which happened to be the fourth time he was accused of violence against women.

Judge Joseph Locascio assigned Johnson to the local Police Athletic League, where he was supposed to spend 40 hours playing sports with kids. Wow, such a horrific penalty will surely deter other men from shoving and spitting at women!

Instead of playing sports with kids, however, Johnson opted to start up an art program. The kids naturally weren't interested, and their lack of participation forced the Police Athletic League to shut the program down early, meaning that Johnson was able to escape his 40 hours of community service. Like I said, he's really cunning.

Who does something like this? Not only did Johnson assault multiple women; he also blew off dozens of kids who were excited to look up to him as a role model. Wait, maybe it's a good thing the East Coast Cat started an art program.

There are only a few things I can think of that Johnson can do to make himself look worse than he already does. Here's my list:

1. Blowing up a hospital: "us east coast cats blowz up hopitals cuz we kewl. Lmao."

2. Taking a crap on an orphan: Johnson himself is a turd, so can a turd actually take a turd? I think this is an intriguing question.

Something does tell me though that Johnson would gladly take a poop on an orphan rather than spending 40 hours being a role model for eager kids. God forbid you spend some time with kids who look up to you.

3. Starting that stupid diamond thing : Oh wait, he already did this. Ugh.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, Johnson makes a stupid diamond figure with his hands whenever he scores a touchdown. Thankfully, he hasn't scored since 2008, and it appears as though he'll never score again.

Thank God. I don't think I could take seeing that stupid diamond thing ever again. It's lame, Larry. Almost as lame as your claim that your dad played for Denzel Washington in a Disney movie.

4. Killing a fireman who is putting out a big fire: "He diss me wit da hoze so I kil a firemain. Aint nuthn for a east coast cat liek me."

5. Running around and stabbing people with a syringe containing HIV: This could be Johnson's next profession. Once the Redskins cut him, who's going to hire someone who assaults women, insults gays, blows off kids, claims he's something called an "east coast cat" and does that stupid diamond thing?

I suspect an evil organization will pay Johnson to stab people with AIDS. Fortunately for all of us, Johnson will probably do something stupid and get thrown into prison before he can infect too many of us.



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Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2013: Jerks of Bowling Night
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Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
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Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
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Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
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Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
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Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




NFL Picks - Oct. 2


2015 NFL Mock Draft - Sept. 20


Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 5


2016 NFL Mock Draft - July 24


2015 NBA Mock Draft - July 1


NFL Free Agents





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