Jerks of the Week - April 22, 2013





Jerks of the Week for April 22, 2013


JERK OF THE WEEK: Saladworks Patrons

As many of you know, I'm a very fat man. One of my goals recently has been to lose a tenth of a pound each week. It's a difficult task, I know, but I think you'll be pleasantly surprised to know that I'm actually on pace to reach my goal. For those who are also interested in slimming down, here are some of the tactics I've used to make it happen:

1. I've been eating smaller portions. For example, when I had dinner at Wawa recently, I purchased two 6-inch subs instead of a foot-long. Now, conventional wisdom says that I'd be eating the same amount because six inches plus six inches is a foot, if my math is correct. However, that's why conventional wisdom is often wrong. Eating two 6-inch subs is much healthier because it's all about smaller portions. Smaller portions are vital to health.

2. I've been going to my new gym quite frequently lately. It's definitely been a big help. I don't always work out when I go to my gym though. Sometimes the pool is too cold (like around 80-81 degrees), so I don't bother jumping in. Sometimes I get stuck conversing with the lifeguard and then I decide that it's too late to swim. Sometimes I purposely forget my swim trunks or goggles, so that I have an excuse. It's a great strategy. But all of this is OK because just making the drive to the gym is good enough. As the old saying goes, it's the effort that counts.

3. I've been dining at Saladworks quite often. I go about three times per week now. One of the owners knows me by name, one of the managers knows exactly what I want, and the employees who work there have memorized my orders.

All of my orders are healthy, by the way. Here are the three salads that I purchase:

A. Buffalo Blue - Lettuce, tomatoes, tortilla chips, blue cheese chunks and honey barbeque chicken with blue cheese dressing. I hold the peppers and get the honey barbeque chicken instead of the buffalo chicken because the former is healthier (it has the word honey in it, like Honey Nut Cheerios) and tastes better.

B. Bentley - Lettuce, tomatoes, turkey, ham, cheddar cheese, honey barbeque chicken with ranch dressing. I hold the eggs because that's breakfast food. I ask for cheddar cheese instead of the recommended Swiss cheese because the Swiss did not participate in World War II, from what I've heard.

C. Caesar Salad - Lettuce, chicken, parmesan cheese and croutons with Caesar dressing. One again, I ask for no eggs. I have no idea why eggs are included in salads. They're for breakfast. Now, if I were ordering a breakfast salad, I'd expect eggs in there. Wait a second, this gives me an idea...

D. Breakfast Salad - Eggs (with cheese), pancakes, ham, sausages, bacon, maple syrup, diced tomatoes, home fries and toast - all in one bowl. I'm seriously drooling all over my keyboard right nowandcrapmyspacebarnolongerworksgoddamnit.

Anyway, you now know the secrets of my weight loss. This three-step plan works. I guarantee it. Spread this information to your family and friends. Seriously, do it - because there are just way too many fat people in America.

I've written about fat women who want to eat and/or molest me in the past. Well, the number of fat people in this country are increasing by the second. It's because everything is way too convenient for people. For example, they built a Dunkin' Donuts right next to my development. Not only is this Dunkin' Donuts right across the street from another Dunkin' Donuts; it also has a drive-through window. So, the fat people don't even have to cross the street to purchase a dozen doughnuts, and as Awesome Girl Who Loves Football joked, the drive-through windows make it so much easier for fat people so they don't have to waste valuable eating energy getting out of their car.

There is also a Five Guys right next to Saladworks. For those who don't know what a Five Guys is, it's only the best cheeseburger joint in the world. I seriously have wet dreams about their burgers. Walking into Saladworks is quite difficult sometimes with a Five Guys sitting right there.

Apparently, it's a lot more difficult for most people. I always find it humorous that every single time I go into Saladworks, I notice that there are way more customers at Five Guys. I'm not surprised at all because Philadelphia is reportedly the fattest city in America. It's just highly amusing to see so many obese people giving themselves heart attacks rather than attempting to trim down like yours truly.

But just because the Saladworks' patrons are more nutritionally responsible than those who dine at Five Guys, that doesn't make them any less likely to escape Jerks of the Week. I've spotted quite a few jerks at Saladworks recently, so I'd like to discuss them.


1. Entree Man:

TheFreeDictionary.com defines the word "entree" as: "The main dish of a meal." But I didn't need to tell you that because you know what it means. Everyone does, right? Apparently not.

I was at Saladworks on a Friday night in January. I was actually going to pick up Awesome Girl Who Loves Football from the airport later that evening, so I didn't exactly have all the time in the world. I wanted to buy a salad and finish up my work before making the 40-minute trip to Philadelphia International Airport.

There was one guy in front of me in line, so I was optimistic about getting home quickly. The guy was a bald man in his late 50s sporting a gray mustache and wearing a blue hoodie. He also had a terrible odor. The Saladworks employee asked him what he wanted, yet all he did was scratch his head for about a minute before asking the dumbest question of all time:

"What's an entree?"

Umm... what? I immediately gave him a "what the f***" look, and the Saladworks employee did the same.

Saladworks Employee: Excuse me?

Entree Man: What's an entree?

Saladworks Employee: I'm not sure I understand your question.

Entree Man: I want to know what an entree is. It says here that I can get an entree but I don't know what that is.

Saladworks Employee: Well, you can get a whole salad. That's an entree. Or you can get half a soup and half a salad. That's an entree too.

Entree Man: Oh... now I understand...

I don't think he understood. Even though there's a sign in Saladworks that lists the options for an entree, Entree Man still stood there in bewilderment. It's almost as if he was frozen for centuries and was having his first dining experience since the 1400s.

After about two minutes of thinking it over, Entree Man finally announced that he wanted a whole salad for his entree. The Saladworks employee then asked him a very difficult question: "What type of salad do you want?" Entree Man's response?

"Oh boy..."

At that point, I knew I wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. Entree Man spent the next five minutes staring at the menu. Growing extremely impatient, I asked him if I could go ahead of him because I was in a hurry. He dismissed my request by saying, "Oh, I'll just be a second."

Five minutes later, Entree Man finally decided what he wanted. He wanted to create his own salad. His incredible creation was comprised of lettuce, carrots and croutons with Italian dressing.

I walked out with my own salad several minutes later. I passed by Entree Man on my way to the door. He was sitting by himself, enjoying his extremely complex entree. Completely pissed off, I had the urge to say, "Nice salad there, bub," but I was completely distracted by his terrible stench. I suddenly forgot what I wanted to say. In fact, I don't remember much until I arrived at the airport.





2. Greek Salad Lady:

Entree Man wasn't the only inconsiderate douche I encountered at Saladworks. One Tuesday evening, there was a short woman in front of me who was sporting a Justin Bieber lesbian haircut, only it was dyed red. When asked what this woman wanted, she said, "I'd like three salads, please."

Three salads? I suddenly felt like I was in a Snickers commercial. I wasn't going anywhere for a while because making three salads would take such a long time. This pissed me off because I was the only other person in line. If you're going to order three of something that takes a while, wouldn't you let someone go in front of you if they're just planning to purchase one of those things?

I was already angry, but my frustration grew because the employee and this woman couldn't seem to understand each other on a couple of occasions. They were each at fault once. The first instance involved some confusion about the salad choice.

Saladworks Employee: And what kind of salads would you like?

Greek Salad Lady: I want three Greek Salads.

Saladworks Employee: What is a Greek Salad?

Greek Salad Lady: ...

Saladworks Employee: I don't know what a Greek Salad is.

Greek Salad Lady: ...

Greek Salad Lady stood there with her arms crossed, tapping her foot impatiently. She didn't say anything. The employee looked around in confusion. About a minute later, she gasped, "Oh, I see the sign for me. How stupid of me! It was right in front of me the whole time!"

OK, I don't really know who's more at fault here. On one hand, the employee should have known how to make a Greek Salad, but she was new at the time, so I won't give her too much grief. On the other hand, Greek Salad Lady and her pretentious Justin Bieber lesbian haircut could have helped the employee by pointing to the sign instead of arrogantly standing there. It would have been one thing if she happened to be the only person in line, but I was waiting.

Ultimately, I've decided that Greek Salad Lady is to blame for this. If she had ordered a regular salad like a normal human being, there wouldn't have been any confusion. What the hell is a Greek Salad anyway? This ain't Greece, missy. Stop ordering Greek Salads.

The other misunderstanding occurred when the employee asked Greek Salad Lady if she wanted dressing mixed in or on the side. This sounds like a pretty simple question, but Greek Salad Lady didn't seem to comprehend what she was being asked.

Saladworks Employee: Do you want your salad dressing mixed in or on the side?

Greek Salad Lady: What?

Saladworks Employee: Uhh... do you want the salad dressing mixed into the salad or on the side?

Greek Salad Lady: Yes, I'll have salad dressing.

Saladworks Employee: But... do you want it mixed in or on the side?

Greek Salad Lady: I will take the Balsamic Vinaigrette.

Saladworks Employee: OK great, but do you want it mixed in or on the side?

Greek Salad Lady: I don't understand the question.

I'm no matchmaker, but I think Greek Salad Lady and Entree Man should go out with each other. They can be extremely happy with each other despite the fact that neither understands anything about food. But they'll at least have something in common.







3. Soup Register Woman:

Maybe Entree Man and Greek Salad Lady can have a menage a trois with someone I'd like to call Soup Register Woman.

I ordered a salad painlessly one time. I went to the register to pay, but there was a woman standing there. I hadn't seen her order anything, so I was confused as to why she was there. Apparently, she was befuddled as well.

Soup Register Woman: Hi, I'd like to order soup.

Co-Owner: Oh, you can order soup at the counter over there where we have all the soups.

Soup Register Woman: What kind of soups do you have?

Co-Owner: Today we have the tomato bisque, the...

Soup Register Woman: I'll take the tomato bisque.

Co-Owner: That's great, but you'll have to do so over there.

Soup Register Woman: I think a medium will be fine.

Co-Owner: OK, but...

Soup Register Woman: What else do you have here?

At this point, the co-owner looked at me and rolled his eyes. I don't understand why she wouldn't listen to what he was saying, but she continued...

Soup Register Woman: What else do you have here?

Co-Owner (growing impatient): Salads...

Soup Register Woman: I'll take a salad with the soup.

Co-Owner: You can order that over there.

Soup Register Woman: All right, I'll wait for it here then.

Co-Owner: But you have to order it over there. You have to tell them what type of salad and soup you want, as well as what size.

Soup Register Woman: Oh, I'll take a regular salad to go along with the tomato bisque soup.

Co-Owner: Ugh...

The co-owner looked at me and rolled his eyes again as if he were thinking, "Oh my God, this woman is a f***ing moron."

She definitely was a f***ing moron - but not a complete f***ing moron. After all, she had smart eating habits like me.




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Jerks of the Week - April 21, 2014: How I Met My Cell Phone
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Jerks of the Week - March 24, 2014: Downtown Business Meeting
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Jerks of the Week - July 22, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 2 - First Beach Day and Two Nights Out
Jerks of the Week - July 15, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 1 - Jerks at the Airport
Jerks of the Week - July 8, 2013: Master Zumba Invitation & Female Stalkers
Jerks of the Week - July 1, 2013: Jerks of Election Day - Damsel in Distress
Jerks of the Week - June 24, 2013: Attack of the White Trash Brigade
Jerks of the Week - June 17, 2013: Emmitt Smith Reviews Game of Thrones and Other Shows
Jerks of the Week - June 10, 2013: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - June 3, 2013: The People We Saw at Kenny's
Jerks of the Week - May 27, 2013: Jerks of the May 18 Wedding
Jerks of the Week - May 20, 2013: Internet Idiots II
Jerks of the Week - May 13, 2013: Sunday Shopping
Jerks of the Week - May 6, 2013: Jerks of the Housewarming Party
Jerks of the Week - April 29, 2013: Hot Tub Adventures
Jerks of the Week - April 22, 2013: Jerks of Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - April 15, 2013: Jerks of New Computer Day
Jerks of the Week - April 8, 2013: Jerks of Walnut Grove
Jerks of the Week - April 1, 2013: April Fools and April Truths
Jerks of the Week - March 25, 2013: It's Not Complicated AT&T Commercials
Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2013: My Second Stalker, Jerks of the Old Gym Pool & Locker Room
Jerks of the Week - March 11, 2013: Blizzard of 2013
Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2013: Jerks of Tulane
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2013: Jerks of New Orleans
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2013: Jerks of Philadelphia International Airport
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2013: Jerks of Bowling Night
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2013: Jerks of Tango: Where They'll Be in 2020
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2013: One Final Night at Tango
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




NFL Picks - Nov. 19


2018 NFL Mock Draft - Nov. 16


2019 NFL Mock Draft - Oct. 20


Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 6


2018 NBA Mock Draft - Aug. 23


NFL Power Rankings - May 5



 





 

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