Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2016





Jerks of the Week: Nov. 21, 2016


JERK OF THE WEEK: Cobb Salads and Gym Desk Workers Who Hate Me

I don't think I've ever gotten along with anyone at the front desk of any of my gyms. For instance, the girl working the desk at my previous gym was this super-hot blonde named Sarah, but she used to get annoyed at me because I constantly called in and asked what the temperature of the pool was.

"I don't know, I'm too busy right now!" she yelled at me one time.

This, along with the fact that the new owners of the gym threw an advertising banner I paid for into the dumpster without telling me, is why I quit going to that gym several years ago.

In my defense, that gym's super-cheap tactics of shutting off the pool heater some days was just too much for me to handle. Call me crazy, but I don't want to go outside in the winter and swim at a gym pool that's absolutely frigid. As a fat man, I have lots of blubber on my body, but that doesn't even keep me warm when there are freaking icebergs floating around in the pool.

Before all of this, the guy at the front desk of my gym at Penn State was this fat black dude who did nothing but grunt at me. The only thing I had ever heard come out of his mouth was "uhh... uhh..." as he tried to reach for my ID card without moving his body. He reminded me of a giant bear who had just eaten a huge tub of honey and was ready to fall asleep for an entire week.

To be fair, this guy, whom I used to refer to as Lazy Fat Bear Man, didn't just grunt at me. I used to have a crush on the girl he worked with, a very attractive brunette, who may have been the dumbest person I've ever met. I once overheard them having the following conversation:

Dumb Girl: I don't like get this like Sudoku thing, like do you put like numbers in the boxes and like stuff?

Lazy Fat Bear Man: Uhh... uhh...

Dumb Girl: What number do I like put in like this one, is it like 3 because like I don't see like a 3 in this row, like, you know?

Lazy Fat Bear Man: Uhh... uhh...

You might be wondering two things right now: First, why did I like this girl? Well, as an awkward college student, so I didn't get much action, and she showed interest in me and happened to be attractive. That was good enough for me!

Nothing happened between us, but the good news is that I have some of our AIM conversations saved - yes, I'm dating myself - and they are absolutely hilarious. I want to publish a book with all of my Jerks of the Week entries from my days at Penn State, but finding a literary agent has proven to be difficult, and I don't know about self-publishing. I did meet one literary agent over the summer who did express interest, so that's at least a beacon of hope. Then again, I haven't heard from her in two months, so I'm assuming she doesn't want to work with me anymore.

The second thing you might be wondering is what sort of desk-worker drama I had at the gym I used to publish countless Jerks of the Week entries about. The answer to that is quite simple:

They had a girl at the front desk with a mustache. And because of that, she may have been the worst desk-worker of all.




I'm bringing up my past issues with people who work at the front desk because I hadn't encountered any at LA Fitness, which is where I now go to work out, since it's closer to the house, and it's not owned by people who are willing to throw my ad banner into the trash without telling me. You'd think a simple courtesy e-mail or phone call, at the very least, would be in order!

The girl at the front desk at LA Fitness is this average-looking chick with blond, curly hair. I don't think she has ever said a word to me; she just scans my ID and then goes about her business. Some of her business is coming into the pool area and talking to the fat lifeguard sometimes. Looking angry, she yells at the lifeguard for 10 minutes and then storms off. My guess is that she catches the fat lifeguard sneaking Doritos into the pool area, which shouldn't actually be a big deal. As a fat man, I am a huge proponent of being able to swim and eat Doritos at the same time.

I've seen a new desk-worker at LA Fitness recently. She's only there occasionally. She's somewhat more attractive than the curly-haired girl, and she has a better body, but I wouldn't call her pretty, or anything. She hasn't said anything to me either, until one day when she was talking to this old man. This guy must have been nearing 80, and he was talking excitedly about some wrestling moves he used to pull off. Either he used to be a professional or Olympic wrestler, or he used to toss other dudes around playfully. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Anyway, she seemed enthralled in the conversation - so much so that she didn't even notice me holding out my ID card for her to scan. I coughed to get her attention, and she finally looked my way. She was absolutely furious.

Desk Worker: I suppose you need your ID scanned.

Me: Yeah...

She grabbed the ID out of my hands and scanned it. She then shoved it back in my face and turned toward the geezer.

As I was walking away, I heard her talking s**t behind my back.

"Some people are so rude," she said to the old man. "I can't believe he interrupted you like that!"

What the hell? I was just trying to get my ID scanned so I could work out. Isn't it your job to scan IDs? Why should I have to wait for you to stop talking to someone who may or may not have touched other boys inappropriately?

I'm beginning to yearn for the days when Lazy Fat Bear Man used to grunt at me. He was just a lazy bum, but I'd definitely prefer him over women who yell at me or talk crap behind my back. Then again, at least those chicks didn't have mustaches. Because there is nothing worse than a woman with a mustache.






Actually, I'm not so sure about that. It's always been my stance that women with mustaches and armpit hair are the most repulsive people on the planet, but after my experience in the hot tub that day, I'm beginning to think differently.

Following an uneventful mile in the pool, I went into the hot tub to relax and think about my NFL Picks. No one was in there, which was pleasant at first. I closed my eyes for a minute, and when I opened them, I was looking at an abomination I was all too familiar with - it was the old lady from my Old Lady Hate, Old Lady Love entry!

If you're as lethargic as Lazy Fat Bear Man and don't feel like clicking the link, this woman, whom I nicknamed Skeletor, wouldn't stop talking to me in the hot tub. She actually forced me to go into the pool so I wouldn't have to hear about hot-tub strategies and the amount of rain we're expected to get. It was one of the most horrifying experiences of my life, and I was about to relive it if I didn't get out of there in time.

Skeletor: Hello, again, I...

Me: I gotta get going to work!

Skeletor: You work in the restaurant business, correct?

Me: No, I actually work online.

Skeletor: I wish you would work in the restaurant business because I want a Cobb salad.

Me: What would that have to do with...

Skeletor: You know, I'm going to go to the supermarket after this to get me a Cobb salad. I love Cobb salads, you should have a Cobb salad dinner tonight, too.

Me: I actually don't like the eggs in Cobb salads, but I have to...

Skeletor: Cobb salads are the best. I'm going to go to Weis right here in this shopping center and make me a Cobb salad for dinner. It'd be nice if a big, strong man were to make me a Cobb salad, but I'm all alone, so I have to buy me my own Cobb salad.

Me: I... wait, what?

Skeletor: I guess I'm gonna have to make dinner for one tonight. Get me a nice, Cobb salad from Weis. Wish I could share the Cobb salad with a nice, strong, you man. Wish I knew a nice, strong, young man who would eat a Cobb salad with me.

Holy s**t, was this 85-year-old woman hitting on me!? Did she want me to agree to have dinner tonight and to eat her Cobb salad? Oh man, the thought of eating her "Cobb salad" just makes me want to puke. Hold on a second, oh God...

...

OK, phew. I'm fine now. Anyway, I wasn't crazy in thinking that she was hitting on me because the fat lifeguard I referenced earlier was sitting nearby and overheard everything. She was laughing her a** off.

Ha-ha, yeah, I'm the poor SOB who gets hit on by 85-year-old women, while younger, more-attractive women throw ID cards into my face for interrupting their conversations.

Anyway, it got worse, believe it or not. Skeletor moved closer to me...

Skeletor: Did you say you're in the restaurant business?

Me: No, I said I work online.

Skeletor: Now, what is it that you do on this line?

Me: I write about football.

Skeletor: I know about football. But I'm from Denmark, and in Denmark, they refer to football as "football," but that's soccer in this country. I never got why they call football "football" here because they only kick it once per game.

Me: It actually got its name from rugby football, and...

Skeletor: Talking about Denmark reminds me of a funny story. When I was in summer camp long ago, all the girls used to swim in one pool, and the boys used to swim in another pool. One time, the counselor was going to unlock the door between the two pools and when she turned the key, she saw that there was a boy spying on all the girls, so she grabbed his arm and said, "Come on, you want to see? You can come see all the girls!" and the boy got scared and pulled away, and then he ran away.

Me: I would've gone in and looked at the girls!

Skeletor: He was scared, though. He was never going to come in, he just wanted to peek at us. But the counselor grabbed him by the arm pretty tightly. Like this!

Skeletor reached out and grabbed my arm, and I have to say that it was one of the most horrifying moments of my life. Her hand was cold and clammy, almost like you'd expect a corpse's hand to feel. The main issue, however, is that she didn't let go. She continued to hold my arm, and she was not letting go. She then looked at me with her sad, old eyes, perhaps half-expecting me to kiss her.

I had to get the f**k out of there. I tried to pull away, but her grip was surprisingly strong. I thought I was absolutely doomed, condemned to eat her "Cobb salad" right there in the hot tub.

"Pleasant day, isn't it!?" someone asked. We both turned around, and this woman in her 60s who sported a Fred Flintstone haircut and a matching mustache stepped into the hot tub. I took this as a sign from God that he was protecting me, and used this opportunity to escape.

"Gotta go to work, see ya!" I exclaimed, bolting out of the hot tub and into the locker room as quickly as possible.

All I can say is, thank the lord for that other woman. Eating 85-year-old Cobb salads in the hot tub is not what I signed up for when I joined LA Fitness, and I thought that was what my fate was going to be had she not intervened. I've even considered refraining from making fun of women with mustaches as a result of this occurrence...

Nah. Women with mustaches still suck.

LOADING COMMENTS...



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Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2013: Jerks of New Orleans
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2013: Jerks of Philadelphia International Airport
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2013: Jerks of Bowling Night
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2013: Jerks of Tango: Where They'll Be in 2020
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2013: One Final Night at Tango
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




NFL Picks - Sept. 20


2018 NFL Mock Draft - Sept. 14


Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 6


2018 NBA Mock Draft - Aug. 23


2019 NFL Mock Draft - June 1


NFL Power Rankings - May 5









 





 

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