Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2016





Jerks of the Week: Aug. 15, 2016


JERK OF THE WEEK: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2016

For a while, it seemed as though I wouldn't be able to make my annual trip to the Jersey Shore this summer. Between various events I've had to attend, and my engagement to my girlfriend, this summer has been an extremely busy one. We finally had an open date on a recent Saturday, but we had to cancel because it was 75 and drizzly that particular afternoon. Somehow, sun tanning in that weather didn't seem particularly appealing.

"Ugh, looks like we aren't going down the shore this summer," my fiancee said. This greatly devastated me. Writing about all of the idiots I see at the Jersey Shore is one of my favorite pastimes. Also, the prospect of not being able to go down the water slides at the water park in Ocean City was absolutely crushing. Sure, it's meant for kids and teenagers, but I want my water slides, damn it!

Fortunately, my fiancee was able to move some appointments around and free up the following day, which turned out to be much nicer - sunny, 84 degrees - so we hopped into the car Sunday morning and drove off to the Jersey Shore. Oh, and by "hopped in," I mean "crawled in unwillingly," since we did this at 7:45 a.m., and it's nearly impossible for me, being a lazy, fat a**hole, to wake up before 10 in the morning.


Parking Issues:

The drive to the Jersey Shore was uneventful, which would've been a surprise in advance. The past couple of times we've gone, Google Maps has taken us through Camden, which is basically a third-world country. I braced myself to deal with the nauseating stench of homeless people who haven't showered in years, and the hilarity of seeing Family Dollar stores every single block, but that never happened. Google Maps led us across the Walt Whitman Bridge, which meant that we basically stayed on one road most of the way there. I don't know why Google Maps didn't recommend this route on the previous occasions. I've come to believe that it was f***ing with us the entire time, wishing for us to endure the horrors that Camden has to offer.

We actually arrived at Ocean City in record time, and we quickly found parking next to my favorite breakfast place, the Bloomin' Tulip. We usually park in the Flanders Hotel - stupid Flanders - and we attempted to do so again. Unfortunately, some guy with crazy, wavy white hair walked toward our vehicle, staring at us and muttering, "No no no no no no no no no no no no no..."

He literally said "no" like 25 times in a row under his breath. It was clear he didn't want us to park there, but I don't know why he was acting like he had just escaped a mental facility. I was hoping my girlfriend would mess around with him and reply, "Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes."

"You can't park here," he said when he finally was standing next to us. "We have an event here until 11:30."

Bummer. We had to pay more money for other parking, though I'm still convinced that we could've pretended to use the Force so that we could park in that lot. The guy didn't seem completely mentally healthy, so he might have believed us. Fortunately, we were able to see something weird in the parking lot. Some fat guy, sitting in his car, was scrubbing out the top of his roof with an ice scraper. My girlfriend actually saw it first.

"What the hell is he doing?" she asked.

I had but one five-word answer:

"Welcome to the Jersey Shore."





The Bloomin' Tulip:

Breakfast at the Bloomin' Tulip was delicious as always. I had my usual bacon and tomato cheese omelet with a side of home fries and ham. Mmm, mmm good. The food was so great that it didn't make me feel terrible when I accidentally spilled a glass of water on myself at the end of the meal.

A couple of things stood out early on. First of all, this family of about eight was eating outside, taking up all of the tables they had in the exterior. I immediately hated them, and I despised them more when an attractive waitress was cleaning off their table and then was invited to eat a meal with them. I'm serious. One second, she was cleaning up the table, and the next, she was sitting next to the patriarch of this large family.

Where the hell was this several years ago? I've dined at the Bloomin' Tulip on my own on numerous occasions in the past, and at no point did any hot chick ever sit down next to me. Now, perhaps that's because I'm a disgusting slob, but I'm getting the feeling that I simply missed out on this experience because I wasn't cunning enough to ask for this service.

And if I'm missing something here - perhaps she knew this family - then this damn well should be a service. Imagine, you're either a lonely dude with no friends, or you're visiting a city and have no one else to eat with. You walk into some restaurant and have to eat by yourself. You should be able to pay the establishment for some hot woman to eat with you. And hey, if you're charming enough, perhaps there will be some sexual favors in store for you once the meal is over, even if you have to pay for that. I think it's a great idea!

At any rate, the patriarch at this family stood up at one point and stomped toward some truck parked on the side of the road. A seagull sat on top of it, and he didn't take too kindly to that.

"Move, scum!" he shouted, waving his baseball cap at the feathered rodent. The seagull quickly flew away.

Now, I know what you're thinking: Walt, that was probably his car, and he just didn't want the seagull pooping on it. Sure, that makes sense. But oh, I forgot to tell you: About 10 minutes later, some random person got into the car and drove away!

If these two things happened to be the strangest events to occur during this visit to the Bloomin' Tulip, I would have been content. However, as we were finishing up our meal, I overheard someone weirdo at the table next to ours. A normal-looking old guy (late 60s, early 70s?) was having issues with his order...

"Excuse me sir," he asked the waiter, "Where in this menu is the directory for the meats?"

The "directory for the meats?" What planet are you from?

Things got weirder from there...

Old Man: Are your sausages here patties or links?

Waiter: Patties.

Old Man: Grand. I will take one or two sausage patties.

Waiter: One... or two...?

Who asks a waiter for "one or two" of something? It's like, "hey, surprise me," except the old man legitimately seemed to want either "one or two."

The old man mulled over his options for another minute and then finally announced what he wanted for his meal:

"I would like French toast and ham. French toast, well done."

I tried to conceal my laughter. My fiancee saw this and addressed this as we walked out of the restaurant...

Fiancee: French toast well done? Is that really a thing?

Me: No idea! How can it be, though? Does anyone ask for French Toast, rare? "Make it bloody!"

Fiancee: And what was with that sausage request? One or two?

Me: Yeah, I don't know, but he ended up getting none in the end because he only asked for ham with his well-done French toast.

I suppose that means he was able to successfully locate the meat directory.







The Beach:

A few interesting things happened at the beach. One involved an unhappily married couple; another a hot chick; and the third, a guy who looked like he was homeless.

Beginning with the former, a fat man and an even more obese woman walked in our direction. Their interaction was quite depressing...

Obese Woman: Where should we set up our umbrella?

Fat Man: Right here is fine.

Obese Woman: "Right here is fine?" Right here is not fine. We're too far away from the chair vendor. And we're too far from the boardwalk for when I want to get snacks.

Fat Man: Oh, sorry.

Obese Woman: "Sorry." Ha! More like stupid.

Fat Man: ...

Obese Woman: Such stupid ideas. I don't even know why I asked you. All you have are stupid answers.

Holy hell. How is this guy still married to this wretch? Is he afraid that she'll eat him if he asks for a divorce? That's the only explanation I could come up with.

Later on, I decided to take a dip in the ocean, which was disgusting because there was seaweed floating around everywhere. Even worse, the lifeguards, who made everyone move out of the way so they could take their boat out, dumped apple cores into the water once they were done eating them.

A couple of people around me pointed this out and were equally disgusted by it. One person who probably wasn't was this grizzled guy who resembled a hobo. He was more displeased with their actual boat.

"Rahhh, they're ruining the waves, rahhhh!"

I don't know who he was talking to since he appeared to be by himself. And that got me thinking: Why don't bums in Camden migrate to the Jersey Shore? It's not that far of a walk, and people leave food lying around everywhere. They'd never be hungry, and they could always plop into the ocean if they're hot. For all you homeless people out there reading this, can you shoot me an e-mail on your smartphones and explain to me why none of you reside at the beach?

Anyway, as I was drying off from the ocean, there was some sort of a commotion behind us. An attractive tan girl in a black bikini was shrieking at the top of her lungs. A colony (not a flock, apparently!) of about 20 seagulls attacked her because she was carrying a slice of pizza. Scared out of her mind, she dropped the pizza and ran toward her umbrella.

"Why would you bring food to the beach?" my fiancee asked. "You're basically asking the seagulls to take your stuff."

I agreed, though I later learned that it didn't matter. We were eating a slice of pizza on the boardwalk when numerous seagulls dived toward us and tried to snatch our food. Unlike the hot chick, I covered up my pizza and made sure those scumbags didn't take it. Being a fat man, I could not allow this to happen!

Still though, I can't remember seagulls ever being this aggressive. I can recall one stealing a sandwich out of my sister's hands when we were young, but she was effectively a baby, and that was a one-time thing. These seagulls have now become vicious, attacking grown people with reckless abandon.

Actually, you know what? Never mind, homeless people. You don't have to e-mail me. I fully understand why none of you beg at the beach - you'd have to compete with these merciless seagulls. And that's a battle you can't possibly win.

LOADING COMMENTS...



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Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




NFL Picks - Sept. 20


2018 NFL Mock Draft - Sept. 14


Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 6


2018 NBA Mock Draft - Aug. 23


2019 NFL Mock Draft - June 1


NFL Power Rankings - May 5









 





 

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