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Jerks of the Week - May 9, 2011




Jerks of the Week for May 9, 2011


JERK OF THE YEAR: Rashard Mendenhall

When our awesome troops eliminated Osama bin Laden last Sunday night, the nation rejoiced. If you didn't watch CNN, FOX News, etc., tens of thousands of drunk and happy people celebrated in the streets of Washington and New York.

One individual who was not celebrating, however, was Pittsburgh Steelers running back Rashard Mendenhall. Instead, he took to Twitter and fired off a series of controversial anti-American tweets:

  • We'll never know what really happened. I just have a hard time believing a plane could take a skyscraper down demolition style.

  • What kind of person celebrates death? It's amazing how people can HATE a man they have never even heard speak. We've only heard one side...

  • There is not an ignorant bone in my body. I just encourage you to #think

  • For those of you who said you want to see Bin Laden burn in hell and piss on his ashes, I ask how would God feel about your heart?

  • Those who judge others, will also be judged themselves.

  • Going down on your man IS optional. It's either gonna be you, OR some other chick. #choosewisely

    I'm not sure how that last one got in there, but as you can see, Mendenhall is an idiot. And I don't want to hear any of this "free speech" crap. Sure, as an American (who supports terrorism) Mendenhall has the right to say anything he wants, but what he tweeted was the equivalent of someone saying, "The colors on a traffic light are blue, orange and purple." It's just completely wrong. You can go around telling people that the colors on a traffic light are blue, orange and purple, and you won't be arrested for it, but people will think you're an imbecile.

    And Mendenhall's an imbecile. By the way, I can say that because of "free speech." That's right - anyone who defends Mendenhall must also acknowledge that because of free speech, anyone else can also call Mendenhall a moron. It works both ways.

    With that in mind, let's review Mendenhall's tweets to prove just how clueless he is:

    Going down on your man IS optional. It's either gonna be you, OR some other chick. #choosewisely

    Women are stupid for saying chivalry is dead. Here we have a famous football player telling chicks that they don't have to suck on his wang. It's an option, after all. Females couldn't vote a hundred years ago. Now, they have the option of going down on football players. See how far women have come since 1911? And feminists think that their gender is being treated unfairly. Pssh.

    Those who judge others, will also be judged themselves.

    This goes back to the free speech thing. Mendenhall is judging us for celebrating bin Laden's death, so we get to judge him for supporting terrorism. As Emmitt Smith would say, "You can't eat your cake and eat it too."

    For those of you who said you want to see Bin Laden burn in hell and piss on his ashes, I ask how would God feel about your heart?

    Two things. First, since Mendenhall is referencing God, let's look at two passages out of the Bible that contradicts this fail of a tweet:

    Romans 12:19 - Vengeance is mine sayeth the lord, I will repay

    Ezekiel 25:17 - God laid down his vengeance on him.

    So, God would probably feel pretty good about your heart.

    And second, people weren't celebrating bin Laden's death because they were happy that a human being died. People were happy because bin Laden's demise represented a huge blow to present-day terrorism and anti-peace. People are thrilled that without the head of Al Quesadilla calling the shots, that terrorist organization is less likely to have a successful attack on American soil and kill more innocent people.

    Al Quesadilla? Yeah, I forget what those douche bags are called. And meh, who cares? They're finished anyway. At any rate, it just amazes me that a chivalrous man like Mendenhall doesn't understand this. I thought football players were supposed to be smart.

    There is not an ignorant bone in my body. I just encourage you to #think

    Another Twitter member, @MarkVernallis, replied with a hilarious tweet:

    "@R_Mendenhall How about you #think about not fumbling the #football in the #goddamn #superbowl"

    By the way, I hate this stupid hash mark obsession on Twitter. In every other tweet from an athlete or stupid celebrity, I see them hash something dumb like "#think." I'm glad @MarkVernallis made fun of this. It might have just inspired me to use irrelevant hash marks from now. Here's an example:

    Check out my 2012 NFL Mock Draft - http://bit.ly/gn4mWP #marshmallowistasty

    Marshmallow is tasty? Sounds good to me #NOM #NOM #NOM #NOM.




    What kind of person celebrates death? It's amazing how people can HATE a man they have never even heard speak. We've only heard one side...

    Oh yeah, there's definitely no way that bin Laden was remotely responsible for 9/11. I mean, let's just ignore the fact that he admitted to it years ago, which was he declared war on America back in 1997 in a broadcasted interview with a CNN journalist.

    But we haven't heard bin Laden's side of the story yet. By admitting responsibility to 9/11 in a video, bin Laden actually meant to say, "Even though I trained my soldiers to attack America and lied to them about the 69 virgins they'll receive after death, I had nothing to do with the 9/11 attacks. What was I doing that day? Well, nothing special at first. I went to McDonald's for breakfast, then I sat by the pool for a few hours. After that, I took a nap and went clubbing at night. My friend Ahmed and I met these two crazy chicks, and oh man... I don't even want to get into what they did back at my crib."

    Poor bin Laden. All he wanted to do in his Pakistani mansion was eat Egg McMuffins, lay out in the sun and bang kinky babes. Why did we have to kill such a cool guy? Why oh why!?!?!

    We'll never know what really happened. I just have a hard time believing a plane could take a skyscraper down demolition style.

    Duh. Mendenhall is right. There is absolutely no way a 75,000-pound plane traveling at 500 mph can knock down a skyscraper "demolition style." Impossible.

    There is no way the plane destroyed those towers, so let's take a look at some possible suspects. I know who the real culprit is, but here are three other suspects that my Facebook friends considered:

    1. From Bret O: The planes that flew into the towers were holographs and everything we saw was all CGI on 9/11.

    That would totally explain why Michael Bay was seen near Ground Zero that day.

    2. From Peter O: The United States shot two missiles at the trade center and had cardboard cut outs of planes taped to them to throw everyone off.

    I can actually hear Michael Moore snacking on some Cheetos and yelling, "NOM NOM NOM NOM THAT'S WHAT I SAY IN MY VIDEO NOM NOM NOM NOM!!!"

    3. From Ryan E: I call it the young, rich, and black theory. Mendenhall doesn't think 9/11 actually happened; his side of the story is that he was in the parking garage below the World Trade Center and his music was playing too loud in his car. Being young, rich, and black, the police came and ruined his good time and then assaulted him. To cover the whole thing up, the New York City police blew up the towers to destroy the evidence of the assault. Case closed.

    I'd love to believe Ryan E's awesome conspiracy theory, but as I mentioned, I know the real culprit. After doing some thinking and extensive research, I've uncovered the true mastermind behind the attacks on 9/11:



    Wile E. Coyote is hungry. And oh, there's the roadrunner! Can he finally catch that bastard?



    How can this foolproof plan possibly fail?



    Aim for the roadrunner, Wile E. Coyote, not the World Trade Center!



    And boom goes the dynamite. From what I'm hearing, the remaining members of Al Quesadilla are attempting to recruit Wile E. Coyote to be their new leader. But what if he doesn't like Egg McMuffins, Al Quesadilla? What then?

    Everyone reading this now knows that Osama bin Laden was not behind 9/11. It was just a hungry coyote and his ACME rocket. So, if I can debunk 9/11 so easily, let's see what other dumb statements and/or silly conspiracy theories we can come up with. I asked my Facebook friends to see if they could think of anything, and here are some of the results:




    Jake A: The no bullet theory. JFK wasn't killed by anyone. His head just did that.

    Had Mendenhall been alive in the 1960s, I sadly believe he would have tweeted, "We'll never know what really happened. I just have a hard time believing a bullet could kill a president demolition style."

    Oh, wait. Twitter wasn't around back then. Damn it. #marshmallowwasstilltastyin1960.

    Ryan K: I heard Mendenhall doesn't think an NFL quarterback can date rape a 19-year-old either.

    Date? Who said anything about date?

    Mendenhall's response: "We'll never know what really happened. I just have a hard time believing a quarterback could rape a 19-year-old girl demolition style."

    Matt S: Bill Belichick is actually an alien from Mars who collects draft picks to survive in Earth's atmosphere.

    Anyone who follows the NFL Draft knows this is absolutely, 100-percent true.

    J.P. P: Contrary to earlier reports, Jenn Sterger sent a picture of HER penis to Brett Favre first. Favre, in his usual Percocet stupor, thought s/he was playing a game with him, so he deleted the photo and responded in kind. All of this was orchestrated by Roger Goodell and Hillary Clinton.

    If this is true, Sterger is really lucky, and I'm sure Mendenhall would agree. Not only does she have the option of going down on guys; she also has the option of going down on herself. I'm sure that every single woman on this planet is jealous of her.

    Those were all great dumb statements and/or ridiculous conspiracy theories. Now, it's my turn:

    1. The fat ladies at my gym pool don't really want to eat me.

    This got me thinking. It's amazing how I can THINK FAT WOMEN WILL EAT ME when I have never even heard them speak. We've only heard one side...

    Me: Hey, Fat Woman at the Pool, I'm sorry I assumed that you would eat me. I'm willing to hear you speak so I can hear both sides.

    Fat Woman at the Pool: HOLD ON ONE SECOND, ME GO GET KETCHUP SO ME CAN EAT YOU NOM NOM NOM NOM!

    So much for hearing from both sides.

    2. By telling me to "stay off the streets," Angry Black Man implied that he wants me to go to his girlfriend's bedroom so I can give her the Mendenhall option.

    Yes. This must be it. By saying that we're going to discuss my "life span," he meant that he would teach me how to "last" longer so I could satisfy his girlfriend.

    Phew. I'm relieved I can go out on the streets again.

    3. Rosie O'Donnell is skinny. Very skinny. I just have a hard time believing a woman can eat so many cheeseburgers and tip the scale at 2,500 lbs.

    See, I'm safe with this theory. If I'm wrong and Fat Rosie gets hungry, I can just distract her with a #TastyMarshmallow.

    Leave a comment

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    Freakishly Skinny Guys 05-09-2011 12:22 pm xxx.xxx.xxx4.23 (total posts: 1)
    16     21

    Rosie O'Donnell really could stand to gain a few pounds. I'm just glad someone finally agreed with us.
    Paul 05-09-2011 12:20 pm xxx.xxx.xxx9.36 (total posts: 2)
    20     20

    Jayme:

    There is a HUGE difference between book smarts and common sense. Just because a person has a PHD in any subject does not automatically mean they are an authority on everything. Your friend with the PHD is proving that by ignoring the cold hard facts.
    Adam b 05-09-2011 11:48 am xxx.xxx.xxx7.39 (total posts: 1)
    16     19

    The only real problem I have with it is twisting the bible verses to fit ur argument. God is saying that vengeance is his.. Not mans the Romans verse starts out "do not take revenge, but leave room for gods wrath." ezekiel states "I will carry vengeance" in both instances god was referring to his wrath and vengeance being more important than humans. So i dont think mendenhall was of base when when he said God wouldnt feel great about a persons heart who celebrates a hukmans eternity in hell. Dot twist his words orthe bibles to found ur point. there is enough wrong with his tweets that you don't have to do that.
    David 05-09-2011 09:04 am xxx.xxx.xxx0.33 (total posts: 2)
    17     18

    For a guy who is as close to God as Mendenhall claims to be, maybe he should realize that God frowns on premaritial sex. That being said, he should probably #think about deleting his tweet on blow jobs.
    Matt 05-09-2011 09:00 am xxx.xxx.xxx0.33 (total posts: 2)
    11     13

    Cartman: Kyle, why are you so afraid of the truth?!
    Kyle: Because anybody who thinks 9/11 was a conspiracy is a retard!
    Cartman: Oh really? Well did you know that over one-fourth of people in America think that 9/11 was a conspiracy? Are you saying that one-fourth of Americans are retards?
    Kyle: Yes. I'm saying one-fourth of Americans are retards.
    Stan: Yeah, at least one-fourth.

    I guess we can count Jayme in that one-fourth
    Mike 05-09-2011 08:49 am xxx.xxx.xxx5.33 (total posts: 1)
    11     13

    One of the best Jerks of the Week/Year of all time. Awesome.
    Rashard 05-09-2011 08:06 am xxx.xxx.xxx.167 (total posts: 1)
    11     11

    EPIC FAIL!
    Adam 05-09-2011 07:59 am xxx.xxx.xxx.179 (total posts: 6)
    11     14

    He's not calling Mendenhall a terrorism supporter because he doesn't agree with him, he's calling him a terrorism supporter because Mendenhall is defending a terrorist. Where are all the tweets chastizing Al-Qaeda for all the troops they killed? Where are the tweets about the women being raped constantly in Africa? Mendenhall says we've never heard Bin Laden speak but we have. He's sent many videos where he speaks gleefully about the thousands of deaths of innocent men, women and children he's admitted to being responsible for. The very God Mendenhall speaks of ordered the genocide of entire cities in the Bible and never asked Joshua and his army not to celebrate after.As a matter of fact Passover is the celebration of when God killed all of the Egyptian first born sons while letting the Jews go unharmed. Mendenhall like so many of you go through life with blinders on choosing to see things only one way whether it be right or wrong but the world isn't like that. Anyone with any common sense can see that the death of a genocidal maniac in the likes of Hitler is a good thing. While Mendenhall's type of pacifism is fine in theory it's unrealistic and totally misinformed. As far as trying to get people to think I say this: Who the hell is Mendenhall to assume that others don't think?! This coming from a guy who dared Ray Lewis to go after him in an upcoming game. The result: Mendenhall with a broken collar bone, out for the season. Courtesy of Ray Lewis.
    AMullen 05-09-2011 06:44 am xxx.xxx.xxx.159 (total posts: 1)
    11     15

    Good to see some good old-fashioned rightwing American ignorance in action. Oh you don't agree with me, well you must support terrorism then. If you didn't see the idiocy in this before you posted it well I won't be able to help you.
    Adam 05-09-2011 06:38 am xxx.xxx.xxx.179 (total posts: 6)
    11     13

    As Daniel Patrick Moynihan once said "Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts"

    Jayme, ask yourself if the folks who made excuses for the KKK and Nazis were in support of Blacks and Jews. If not then they were either mentally retarded or Nazi/KKK supporters. The difference between a skeptic and a conspiracy theorist is that a skeptic uses facts to debunk myths while a conspiracy theorist uses myths to debunk facts. I know some guys with PhDs too but how does that make me the authority on people's intelligence? Making note of when someone does or says something totally moronic makes you an authority on intelligence. How is anybody who thinks Bin Laden was "just misunderstood" and the planes didn't knock down the towers not stupid? I'll tell you how: they're either the biggest jerks on the planet or their crazy as a suicide bomber. Welcome to Mendenhall's club Jayme
    Mike 05-09-2011 04:55 am xxx.xxx.xxx8.29 (total posts: 1)
    11     13

    Do u really belive al Qaeda was run by Bin Laden???... He was the fall guy, a political figure placed there by the real leaders of Al Qaeda. U know what his death will bring? Escalation. Even President Obama knows what Bin ladens death can bring if this isnt taken care of in a respectful way. Thats why they wont show the pictures of the guy with a frikin headshot. We have got to realize, we cannot keep being the hammer of justice in the world just because of our benefit. Have u ever asked yourself why did Bin Laden did what he did? How american interference in middle east since the 50's has altered every arab country? Bin Ladens death wasnt the beggining of the end of terrorism... it just ended another cycle of the continuous circle of violence in our world. God bless america, but we have to change the way we think or well hacve greater threats to control in the future. And yeah, Mendenhall is kinda crazy for believing that qaeda wasnt responsible.
    Jayme 05-09-2011 02:26 am xxx.xxx.xxx.117 (total posts: 1)
    11     14

    I actually think that Mendenhall was right.
    First of all, because he does not agree with you, he supports terrorists. Ok maybe you should realize how close you are from the dictatorial speeches all over the world.
    Second, you are a guy that took 6 years to graduate and called him stupid. With that in mind, I know some guys with PhD in Math, also Americans by the way, that think the same way that Mendenhaal does. Are they stupid too?
    Wesley C 05-09-2011 01:20 am xxx.xxx.xxx.162 (total posts: 1)
    12     13

    New Conspiracy:
    Bills GM Buddy Nix made a deal with Roger Goodell that in the 2015 season, the only legal positions in the NFL will be defensive backs and "pass catchin' running backs."
    Walter 05-09-2011 12:54 am xxx.xxx.xxx9.63 (total posts: 2)
    11     13

    First comment... we're going to have comment boards like this all over the site soon. We're still working out the kinks, so this is not the finished product.



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    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
    Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
    Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
    Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
    Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
    Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
    Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
    Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
    Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
    Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
    Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
    Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
    Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
    Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
    Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
    Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
    Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
    Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
    Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
    Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
    Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Women's Basketball, Celebrity Man, Facebook Morons
    Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
    Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
    Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
    Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
    Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
    Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
    Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
    Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
    Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
    Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
    Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
    Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
    Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
    Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
    Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
    Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
    Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
    Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
    Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
    Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
    Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype, Ben Roethlisberger and His Accuser
    Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
    Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
    Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
    Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
    Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
    Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
    Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
    Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
    Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
    Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
    Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
    Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
    Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
    Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
    Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
    Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
    Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
    Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




    2014 NFL Mock Draft - April 23


    2014 NBA Mock Draft - April 23


    NFL Free Agents - April 22


    2015 NFL Mock Draft - April 17


    Fantasy Football Rankings - March 28


    NFL Picks - Feb. 2





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