Emmitt on the Brink - Season 8: Week 15



Emmitt on the Brink.

The premise: Coming off a Super Bowl victory, the Patriots open the 2013 season with a blowout win. Unfortunately, they get into trouble for Spygate II. As punishment, Roger Goodell orders the Patriots to fire Bill Belichick and replace him with Emmitt Smith. Three years later, the Patriots beat the Bears in the Super Bowl, 2-0. After the game, Emmitt announced his retirement.

This is a weekly feature that will take a newspaper reporter's perspective and follow Emmitt through his post-retirement days.

Of course, you can always look at all of Emmitt's quotes in the Emmitt Smith Anthology.
Emmitt Smith 2015 New England Patriots head coach.

Emmitt tasked to find Kim Jong-Jongson




ONE CHALLENGE AWAITS PRIOR TO CONFRONTING KIM JONG-UN


By Alex Rodriguez, Special to the NFL Bible Network
Monday, July 22, 2019


The entire group - Emmitt, Ray Rice, Dianna Marie Russini, Eric Mangini, Shannon Sharpe, the ninja, and Barry Sanders - descended the hidden stairwell in Kim Jong-un's office quietly. Kim Jong-un was set to deploy his nuclear weapons against America as retaliation for how Tom Brady was treated in DeflateGate, so the element of surprise was crucial. That's what the ninja said, anyway, which confused Emmitt.

"I thought the four element were fire, water, thunder and wind, but I am very surprise to hear that surprise is the fifth element in the period table of element!"

"Shhhh!" all the others responded, hushing their leader.

When they reached the bottom of the stairwell, they found themselves standing in the very same room that Kim Jong-un recorded his threatening message. However, there was no obvious door or pathway to follow. It's almost as if Kim Jong-un vanished.

"It's like it was on TV!" Emmitt exclaimed. "I can't believe we inside a place that was on TV, and maybe that mean that people are watching us right now! Hi, Emmitt IV the Jr. Sr. the III! Daddy love you!"

Emmitt's party members hushed him again, with Rice shaking his head in disbelief that his friend could even say something like that.

"Emmitt, there's no camera," Rice whispered. "We can't be on TV if there's no camera."

"I know what a camera is," Emmitt replied. "But what do he have to do with TV? I thought camera was just for taking pictures."

"Guys, I found something," Russini interrupted them. She was lifting up a rug and pointing to a hidden trap door. "Kimberly always used to hide his My Little Pony playing cards under the rug in his office, so I thought he may have also stashed something important here."

Wasting no time, Sanders opened the hatch, and an unbearable heat engulfed them.

"Look like the element of fire is down there instead of the element of surprise," Emmitt snickered.

The group once again descended the stairwell, and the temperature seemed to rise exponentially with every step. They were sweating profusely by the time they reached the bottom. However, they were all speechless when they saw what they would be confronted with:

Another hologram of Bowser standing on a bridge. Only this one was throwing countless hammers into the air in addition to spewing fireballs.

"Guys, this is the real deal," the ninja said. "The Bowser you described before was obviously guarding the fake nuclear facility because he wasn't throwing hammers into the air. This one is legit."

"What do we do?" Mangini squealed.

Bowser heard the high-pitched squeak and began moving toward them. The entire group froze, save for the ninja, who charged forward.

"I'll run under him and hit the ax!" he cried. He ran at full speed, expecting Bowser to jump into the air nonsensically, but it never happened. The ninja ran right into Bowser and was flung into the lava beneath the bridge.

"Nooooooooooooo!" someone cried, but it was impossible to tell who it was. Bowser continued to approach the group quickly. They turned around, but noticed that the hatch door closed behind them. They were trapped.

"This is it!" Mangini whined. "OK guys, I admit it, Erin Andrews isn't really my girlfriend. She won't even answer my Skype calls even though I've been calling her 25 times per day. She called me a "creep," but I just wanted to tell her that I love her and want to marry her!"

Bowser's hammers were now inches away from the group, but they stopped. Bowser oddly looked cross-eyed, and then he toppled over into the lava. Standing behind him was a familiar face. Emmitt recognized him instantly, as he just saw him a week ago.

It was Jay Cutler.

Though the group didn't see it, Cutler was standing behind the real Bowser and fired a laser pass into Bowser's head. Cutler greeted his friend, smiling.

"I told you I'd pay you back for saving me from my evil wife, Emmitt," he beamed.

Emmitt and Cutler began to exchange pleasantries, but Russini quickly put an end to that.

"Guys, we can talk later," she said. "But we need to stop Kim Jong-un from bombing America."





THE STARTLING TRUTH ABOUT KIM JONG-UN


By Alex Rodriguez, Special to the NFL Bible Network
Monday, July 22, 2019


Emmitt and his friends, now joined by Jay Cutler, ran across the bridge and into the next room. Unlike the previous, fake North Korea Nuclear Facility, this one did not greet them with the message, "Our nucrear reactor in another castre!" Instead, a dark hallway awaited them.

They sprinted down the hall, and couldn't see anything for a while. They were seemingly running forever until they found themselves in a small, circular room. Kim Jong-un was sitting at an old computer, staring at the screen. On it, were the following words:

Do you want to brow up North America with nucrear bomb? Y/N

Kim Jong-un, sensing he had guests, turned around.

"Ah, wercome to my rair," he said. "But you too rate! Arr I have to do is press button, and my nucrear weapon gonna destroy America!"

The group rushed toward him, but true to his word, Kim Jong-un faced the computer once more and quickly tapped the "Y" button on the computer.

They stopped. It was too "rate," indeed. Sure enough, nuclear missiles were headed toward the United States at this very moment.

Except, something was off. There were no noises, or anything. In fact, nothing really seemed to happen. Emmitt glanced at the screen once more and saw that a white object in the shape of a turtle moved forward and drew a line in the process. What was happening here?

"Where are the nukes!?" Dianna Marie Russini cried. "Tell us, or I'll rip your precious My Little Pony playing card in half - and I know that this one is your favorite because you constantly sing to it when you think I'm not in the room!"

"No, not My Rittre P-," Kim Jong-un started, before he realized that everyone was watching. "I mean, I no pray My Rittle Pony! My sister pray My Rittle Pony!"

Kim Jong-un's head convulsed for a good five seconds. It stopped, and he began speaking differently.

"Oh, I so happy to have My Rittre Pony card!" he said, but in a woman's voice. "I rove pray My Rittle Pony!"

Kim Jong-un's head shook violently once more.

"I so happy to give you birthday present to my precious sister," he said, this time in a normal voice. "Can I pray My Rittre Pony with you prease!?"

Again, more convulsion.

"No, you a boy, onry I can pray My Rittre Pony!" he said once again in a female's voice. "If you no ret me pray by myserf, I gonna terr father on you!"

Again.

"My rittre boy, you disappoint me, greatry!" he said, this time in an older voice. "How can grown man pray with My Rittre Pony!? I armost ashame to carr you member of Jong-un famiry!"

Again.

"Prease, father, My Rittre Pony not just for girr, prease ret me pray!" he whined, once again in his own voice.

The process repeated, as Kim Jong-un continued to talk to himself, believing that he was arguing with his father and sister. His head rattled violently each time he became a new person. Emmitt glanced at his companions, and no one had any words. Not until Ray Rice spoke up.

"Guys, look!" he said, as Kim Jong-un was experiencing another convulsion. "His face is coming off!"

Indeed, inspecting it closer revealed that Kim Jong-un's neck was peeling off. They all seemed to realize it at once: Kim Jong-un was wearing a mask!

"Let's see who this really is!" Dianna Marie Russini yelped, tugging at Kim Jong-un's neck. She quickly ripped off the mask, revealing Kim Jong-un's true identity.

No one said a word. They couldn't believe their eyes. The truth was unfathomable.

They were staring at Roger Goodell.


Emmitt on the Brink Archive:

Emmitt on the Brink Home Page
Season 1, Week 1 - PATRIOTS WIN 84-0 ON SUNDAY; LOSE ON MONDAY - Sept. 12
Season 1, Week 2 - PATRIOTS WIN 11-4 AMID CONFUSION; VICK ARRESTED - Sept. 19
Season 1, Week 3 - PATRIOTS ESCAPE WITH 7-2 WIN; BENGALS FLEE STADIUM - Sept. 26
Season 1, Week 4 - PATRIOTS-LIONS GAME MOVED TO...? - Oct. 3
Season 1, Week 5 - EMMITT'S PLAN TO NEUTRALIZE CHIEFS, TEBOWS FAILS - Oct. 10
Season 1, Week 6 - EMMITT SUSPENDS TWO COACHES; DEVISES OWN GAMEPLAN - Oct. 17
Season 1, Week 7 - AL DAVIS FINDS PROOF OF SABOTAGE; FILES GRIEVANCE - Oct. 24
Season 1, Week 8 - PATRIOTS PREPARE FOR DECLINING DOLPHINS - Oct. 31
Season 1, Week 9 - STEROID SCANDAL HITS FOXBOROUGH - Nov. 7
Season 1, Week 10 - EMMITT TO APPEAR ON REALITY TV SHOW - Nov. 14
Season 1, Week 11 - MORELLI SUSPENSION PENDING; CBS' PORTER CRITICIZES GOODELL - Nov. 21
Season 1, Week 12 - MANGINI'S BIRTHDAY RUINED - Nov. 28
Season 1, Week 13 - CRENNEL EDGES REID IN CHARITY EVENT - Dec. 5
Season 1, Week 14 - MORE THAN 100 NFL PLAYERS TO BE SUSPENDED - Dec. 12
Season 1, Week 15 - COACH NEARLY MISSES INTERNATIONAL GAME - Dec. 19
Season 1, Week 16 - PATRIOTS FIGURE TO ROLL IN MIAMI - Dec. 26
Season 1, Week 17 - AFC PLAYOFF PREVIEW - Jan. 2
Season 1, Week 18 - PLAYOFF ROUND 1 RESULTS - Jan. 9
Season 1, Week 19 - PLAYOFF ROUND 2 RESULTS - Jan. 16
Season 1, Week 20 - PATRIOTS TO THE SUPER BOWL! - Jan. 23
Season 1, Week 21 - DID THE PATRIOTS WIN IT ALL WITH EMMITT? - Jan. 31

Season 2, Week 1 - PATRIOTS KICK OFF 2014 SEASON AGAINST THE JETS - Sept. 18
Season 2, Week 2 - JERRY JONES MAKES SURPRISING ANNOUNCEMENT AT HIS WEDDING - Sept. 25
Season 2, Week 3 - MICHAEL VICK SAVES THE DAY IN EAGLES LOSS - Oct. 2
Season 2, Week 4 - AL DAVIS UNLEASHES SECRET WEAPON AGAINST PATRIOTS - Oct. 9
Season 2, Week 5 - MAJOR CHANGES PREVALENT THROUGHOUT THE LEAGUE - Oct. 16
Season 2, Week 6 - PATRIOTS WIN ON A CULTURAL NIGHT IN MIAMI - Oct. 23
Season 2, Week 7 - DANIEL SNYDER HIRES NEW COACHES - Oct. 30
Season 2, Week 8 - SEVERAL PATRIOTS TO APPEAR ON GAME SHOWS - Nov. 6
Season 2, Week 9 - FAVRE RUINS PACKER PLANS AGAIN - Nov. 13
Season 2, Week 10 - PATRIOTS COULD BE IN TROUBLE AGAIN - Nov. 20
Season 2, Week 11 - PATRIOTS HIRE FORMER NO. 1 PICK, SPY - Nov. 27
Season 2, Week 12 - MANGINI'S BIRTHDAY PARTY RUINED AGAIN - Dec. 4
Season 2, Week 13 - THANKSGIVING GAME RECAPS - Dec. 11
Season 2, Week 14 - PATS, BILLS TRAVEL TO NORTH KOREA - Dec. 18
Season 2, Week 15 - PATRIOTS PRACTICE CANCELED; LAUGHING GAS RELEASED - Dec. 26
Season 2, Week 16 - PATRIOTS ONE WIN AWAY FROM PERFECTION - Jan. 2
Season 2, Week 17 - PERFECTION AGAIN - Jan. 9
Season 2, Week 18 - PLAYOFF ROUND 1 RESULTS - Jan. 16
Season 2, Week 19 - PLAYOFF ROUND 2 RESULTS - Jan. 23
Season 2, Week 20 - PATRIOTS ADVANCE TO SUPER BOWL; WILL FACE RAMS AGAIN - Jan. 30
Season 2, Week 21 - PATRIOTS CRUISE TO EASY SUPER BOWL VICTORY; BECOME FIRST TEAM TO GO 19-0 - Feb. 14

Season 3, Week 1 - PATRIOTS KICK OFF 2015 SEASON AGAINST THE DOLPHINS - Sept. 11
Season 3, Week 2 - PATRIOTS FACE AN EASY CHALLENGE AGAINST INJURED LIONS - Sept. 18
Season 3, Week 3 - PATRIOTS AWARDED WIN AS JETS STADIUM IS IN RUINS - Sept. 25
Season 3, Week 4 - PATRIOTS FACE COWBOYS' SECRET WEAPON - Oct. 2
Season 3, Week 5 - PATRIOTS LOSE VALUABLE MEMBER OF TEAM - Oct. 9
Season 3, Week 6 - PATRIOTS OFFENSIVE COORDINATOR IN HOT WATER AGAIN - Oct. 16
Season 3, Week 7 - GOODELL AIMS TO IMPROVE PLAYER SAFETY; LEAGUE ANGERED - Oct. 23
Season 3, Week 8 - EMMITT DISTRAUGHT AFTER WAR OF WORDS WITH DENVER COACH - Oct. 30
Season 3, Week 9 - MANGINI'S CELEBRATION RUINED; COACH TO MISS GAME - Nov. 6
Season 3, Week 10 - PATRIOTS QUARTERBACK TO MAKE CAMEO APPEARANCE ON ENCOURAGE - Nov. 13
Season 3, Week 11 - AL DAVIS' DARK MAGIC BACKFIRES; PATRIOTS NOW 10-0 - Nov. 20
Season 3, Week 12 - EMMITT RETURNS TO PATRIOTS AFTER INTERVIEW - Nov. 27
Season 3, Week 13 - FORMER QUARTERBACK HOLDS SYMPOSIUM - Dec. 4
Season 3, Week 14 - PATRIOTS DRAFT SON OF FORMER NFL QUARTERBACK - Dec. 11
Season 3, Week 15 - EAGLES RECEIVER LEADS ALL PLAYERS IN PRO BOWL VOTING - Dec. 18
Season 3, Week 16 - PATRIOTS-VIKINGS GAME TO BE MOVED - Dec. 25
Season 3, Week 17 - WEATHER RUINS PATRIOTS-JETS FINALE - Jan. 1
Season 3, Week 18 - PATRIOTS, RAIDERS AWAIT WINNERS OF WILD CARD ROUND - Jan. 8
Season 3, Week 19 - PATRIOTS-RAIDERS TO MEET IN AFC CHAMPIONSHIP THIRD STRAIGHT YEAR - Jan. 15
Season 3, Week 20 - OLD FOE RETURNS TO HELP PATRIOTS VANQUISH RAIDERS IN AFC CHAMPIONSHIP - Jan. 22
Season 3, Week 21 - PATRIOTS REPEAT AS CHAMPIONS - Feb. 8

Season 4, Week 1 - EMMITT LOOKING FOR WORK - Sept. 11
Season 4, Week 2 - CHRIS JOHNSON WANTS MORE MONEY - Sept. 18
Season 4, Week 3 - ARIAN FOSTER INJURED, ARRESTED AND SUSPENDED - Sept. 25
Season 4, Week 4 - DESEAN JACKSON BANNED FROM NFL - Oct. 2
Season 4, Week 5 - EMMITT REPLACES HANK WILLIAMS ON MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL - Oct. 8
Season 4, Week 6 - ANDY REID ON THE HOT SEAT AGAIN - Oct. 15
Season 4, Week 7 - HARBAUGH, SCHWARTZ PREPARE FOR BATTLE - Oct. 22
Season 4, Week 8 - NO TEAMS SHOW UP FOR TERRELL OWENS' WORKOUT AGAIN - Oct. 29
Season 4, Week 9 - JAMARCUS RUSSELL DISCUSSES COACHING STRATEGY - Nov. 5
Season 4, Week 10 - SANDUSKY BLOWS WHISTLE ON VICK - Nov. 12
Season 4, Week 11 - VICK DOG RAPE FALLOUT - Nov. 19
Season 4, Week 12 - SUH ASSIGNED TO ANGER MANAGEMENT - Nov. 26
Season 4, Week 13 - SKITTLE WARRIORS FAIL TO ISSUE VERDICT ON STEVE JOHNSON - Dec. 3
Season 4, Week 14 - EMMITT STOPS EVIL TIM TEBOW - Dec. 10
Season 4, Week 15 - SKITTLE WARRIORS ARREST SAM HURD - Dec. 17
Season 4, Week 16 - THE BEAST IS UNLEASHED; HELL IS UPON US - Dec. 24
Season 4, Week 17 - NEW NFL LOCKOUT HAS EVERYONE MIFFED - Dec. 31

Season 5, Week 1 - ALL SAINTS' GAMES SUSPENDED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE - Sept. 3
Season 5, Week 2 - BOUNTYGATE II SEXUAL ACTS CONTINUE - Sept. 10
Season 5, Week 3 - REPLACEMENT OFFICIAL TARGETED AS MAJOR SUSPECT IN BOUNTYGATE II - Sept. 17
Season 5, Week 4 - GREG SCHIANO GOES TOO FAR THIS TIME - Sept. 24
Season 5, Week 5 - POLICE STRIKE OVER; EMMITT HAS WARRANT IN HAND - Oct. 1
Season 5, Week 6 - ROGER GOODELL ARRESTED AND RELEASED - Oct. 8
Season 5, Week 7 - A LONG, BUT USEFUL DETOUR FOR EMMITT AND HIS CREW - Oct. 15
Season 5, Week 8 - EMMITT IS ARRESTED! - Oct. 22
Season 5, Week 9 - EMMITT FINDS A FRIEND IN JAIL - Oct. 29
Season 5, Week 10 - NOT ENOUGH EVIDENCE TO CONVICT JONATHAN VILMA - Nov. 7
Season 5, Week 11 - ERIC MANGINI AND ASIAN ERIN ANDREWS' WEDDING - Nov. 14
Season 5, Week 12 - BOUNTYGATE II GOES BEYOND THE NFL - Nov. 21
Season 5, Week 13 - JERRY JONES FINALLY FIRES HIMSELF - Nov. 28
Season 5, Week 14 - EMMITT FINALLY ON RIGHT TRACK TO FINDING BOUNTYGATE II MASTERMIND - Dec. 5
Season 5, Week 15 - EMMITT FINALLY MEETS MASTERMIND OF BOUNTYGATE II - Dec. 12
Season 5, Week 16 - EMMITT'S FRIENDS TO THE RESCUE! - Dec. 19
Season 5, Week 17 - EMMITT AND FRIENDS REWARDED FOR ENDING BOUNTYGATE II - Dec. 26

Season 6, Week 1 - CONTROVERSIAL DIVISIONAL REALIGNMENT IN THE NFL - Sept. 7
Season 6, Week 2 - MORE PUNISHMENT FOR RILEY COOPER - Sept. 14
Season 6, Week 3 - BROWNS SHOCK NFL WITH ANOTHER TRADE - Sept. 21
Season 6, Week 4 - EMMITT FOUND IN THE MOST UNUSUAL PLACE - Sept. 28
Season 6, Week 5 - EMMITT MEETS WITH FBI FOR LLOYD INVESTIGATION - Oct. 5
Season 6, Week 6 - EMMITT QUESTIONS BOB KRAFT - Oct. 12
Season 6, Week 7 - THE WALKING BUCS - Oct. 19
Season 6, Week 8 - NFL ADMITS TO TWO OFFICIATING BLUNDERS - Oct. 26
Season 6, Week 9 - CONTROVERSY OVER OTHER NFL TEAM NAMES - Nov. 2
Season 6, Week 10 - MARTIN AND INCOGNITO SQUARE OFF IN TOURNAMENT - Nov. 9
Season 6, Week 11 - NFL ANNOUNCES RELOCATION OF JAGUARS - Nov. 16
Season 6, Week 12 - JOSH FREEMAN'S SECRET IS EXPOSED - Nov. 23
Season 6, Week 13 - NFL SUSPENDS MERIWEATHER, HITNER INDEFINITELY - Nov. 30
Season 6, Week 14 - DISASTER STRIKES AT LOWE FAMILY TURKEY BOWL - Dec. 7
Season 6, Week 15 - A FATEFUL BARBEQUE AT BELICHICK'S HOUSE - Dec. 14
Season 6, Week 16 - WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO AARON HERNANDEZ - Dec. 21
Season 6, Week 17 - TROUBLING TIMES AHEAD - Dec. 28

Season 7, Week 1 - EMMITT AND FRIENDS ESCAPE DOWNTOWN ABBOTT - Sept. 5
Season 7, Week 2 - WHAT HAPPENED TO JOSH GORDON - Sept. 12
Season 7, Week 3 - EMMITT AND FRIENDS LOST AT SEA - Sept. 19
Season 7, Week 4 - EMMITT AND FRIENDS EXPLORE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND - Sept. 26
Season 7, Week 5 - MANZIEL REVEALS SECRET TO EMMITT - Oct. 3
Season 7, Week 6 - EMMITT AND FRIENDS FIND THEMSELVES IN MIDDLE OF GANG WAR - Oct. 10
Season 7, Week 7 - EMMITT CONFRONTS LEADER OF THE BLOODS - Oct. 17
Season 7, Week 8 - JIM IRSAY DESTROYS CRIPS' HEADQUARTERS - Oct. 24
Season 7, Week 9 - EMMITT TRAPPED INSIDE THE TOWN - Oct. 31
Season 7, Week 10 - NEW THREAT IN WALKING BUC APOCALYPSE - Nov. 7
Season 7, Week 11 - DESEAN JACKSON SAVES EMMITT FROM ANDY REID - Nov. 14
Season 7, Week 12 - UNDERSTANDING JUSTIN BIEBER�S POWERS - Nov. 21
Season 7, Week 13 - THIEF THROWS WRENCH INTO PLANS - Nov. 28
Season 7, Week 14 - OLD NEMESIS TRIES TO THWART PLANS - Dec. 5
Season 7, Week 15 - ADRIAN PETERSON'S STORY - Dec. 12
Season 7, Week 16 - GATHERING THE WALKING BUCS - Dec. 19
Season 7, Week 17 - ADRIAN PETERSON USES THE SWITCH OF DESTINY; CARL NICKS ATTACKS - Dec. 26

Season 8, Week 1 - OUTRAGE OVER DEFLATEGATE - Sept. 15
Season 8, Week 2 - EMMITT STOPS SEEMINGLY HORRIBLE CRIME - Sept. 22
Season 8, Week 3 - CHIP KELLY ACCUSED OF BEING RACIST AGAIN - Sept. 29
Season 8, Week 4 - EMMITT SAVES JAY CUTLER WITH SOME HELP - Oct. 7
Season 8, Week 5 - MORE EVIDENCE AGAINST TOM BRADY - Oct. 14
Season 8, Week 6 - INSIDE EMMITT'S MEETING WITH KIM JONG-UN - Oct. 21
Season 8, Week 7 - DIANNA MARIE RUSSINI�S PLAN TO STEAL NORTH KOREA�S NUCLEAR KEY - Oct. 28
Season 8, Week 8 - ENTERING THE NORTH KOREA NUCLEAR FACILITY - Nov. 4
Season 8, Week 9 - ESCAPING FROM JARED FOGLE'S DUNGEON - Nov. 11
Season 8, Week 10 - KIM JONG-UN MAKES STARTLING ANNOUNCEMENT - Nov. 18
Season 8, Week 11 - EMMITT AND HIS CREW MEET WITH MICHAEL SAM - Nov. 25
Season 8, Week 12 - OLD NEMESIS ABDUCTS EMMITT AND FRIENDS - Dec. 2
Season 8, Week 13 - EMMITT AND COMPANY INVADE JARED FOGLE'S MANOR - Dec. 9
Season 8, Week 14 - KIM JONG-UN MAKES ULTIMATE THREAT AGAINST AMERICA - Dec. 16
Season 8, Week 15 - THE STARTLING TRUTH ABOUT KIM JONG-UN - Dec. 23
Season 8, Week 16 - ROGER GOODELL AND KIM JONG-UN - Dec. 30

Season 9, Week 1 - EMMITT'S BUTTERFLIES - Sept. 13
Season 9, Week 2 - EMMITT SEEKS HELP FOR NEW DANGER - Sept. 20
Season 9, Week 3 - EMMITT IN HOT WATER AFTER INTERVIEW - Sept. 27
Season 9, Week 4 - EMMITT SAVES OLD FRIEND FROM TROUBLE - Oct. 3
Season 9, Week 5 - JOHNNY MANZIEL RECOUNTS EVENTS OF PAST FIVE MONTHS - Oct. 10
Season 9, Week 6 - EMMITT INCITES RIOT - Oct. 17
Season 9, Week 7 - COLLEGE STUDENTS AIM TO DEBACLE EMMITT AND FRIENDS - Oct. 24
Season 9, Week 8 - THE GRAND MASTER PLAN OF THE LEAGUE OF FAILED GENERAL MANAGERS - Oct. 31
Season 9, Week 9 - HOW A SHARK SAVED EMMITT'S LIFE - Nov. 7
Season 9, Week 10 - EMMITT MEETS WITH DONALD TRUMP - Nov. 14
Season 9, Week 11 - CAN EMMITT SURVIVE ATTACK FROM COLLEGE IDIOTS? - Nov. 21
Season 9, Week 12 - EMMITT EXPOSES HILLARY CLINTON - Nov. 28
Season 9, Week 13 - THE CONNECTION BETWEEN HILLARY CLINTON AND MATT MILLEN - Dec. 5
Season 9, Week 14 - EMMITT SEEKS TO SAVE THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE - Dec. 12
Season 9, Week 15 - INSIDE THE EVIL DIMENSION - Dec. 19
Season 9, Week 16 - GOOD EMMITT VERSUS EVIL EMMITT - Dec. 26

Season 10, Week 1 - A YEAR OF EVIL EMMITT - Sept. 12
Season 10, Week 2 - EVIL EMMITT MEETS WITH ROGER GOODELL - Sept. 19









NFL Picks - Sept. 25


2019 NFL Mock Draft - Sept. 23


2018 NFL Mock Draft - Sept. 21


Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 6


2018 NBA Mock Draft - Aug. 23


NFL Power Rankings - May 5




 





 

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