Everything has to be taken into consideration when handicapping a football game. In regards to KC Vs SD, KC was playing their 2nd straight road game which covers at a high rate. If you think SD had no home field advantage, this should be an automatic fade. And in that case KC would be 2.5/3 points better not 5.5/6 points depending on what line you had last week. And KC definitely was that much better considering their momentum coming off beating a good Pittsburgh team, blowing out Detroit, and handing Denver an ass whooping. Sure Manning played bad, but KC executed, and they've shown to be on the rise, playing as a team, and focused. San Diego had reasons why they could cover as well, with players coming back from injury and rivers always seeming to do well with a limited supporting cast, and for those reasons i cant blame you for picking San Diego. But putting 8 units on them was absolutely absurd, given the circumstances. It's easy to fall in love with a pick right when you see the line, but it's always worth it to look at how the other team can cover.
The premise: Coming off a Super Bowl victory, the Patriots open the 2013 season with a blowout win. Unfortunately, they get into trouble for Spygate II. As punishment, Roger Goodell orders the Patriots to fire Bill Belichick and replace him with Emmitt Smith.
This is a weekly feature that will take a newspaper reporter's perspective and follow the 2013 New England Patriots as they traverse the 2013 NFL season under Emmitt's guidance. This page will be updated every Thursday during the real 2008 NFL season.
Emmitt Smith name head coach of the New England Patriots in 2013!
AFC WEST TEAMS MOVE ON
By Steve Sanders, Boston Beat Senior Writer Monday, Jan. 6, 2014
The two AFC West teams prevailed in the opening round of the playoffs, in what was an unusual weekend.
CHIEFS 31, STEELERS 17
After a win in the NFL, some people thank God. Some thank their teammates. Others, their families. Not Chiefs general manager Tom Cruise.
"Special thanks must be given to the Ice Elemental I spoke to on Friday," Cruise said. "He advised me of the keys to victory. Using my wife's telepathic powers, I told all of our Tim Tebows what to do at each moment of the game. I also brought a gift from the Dragon Queen herself, the Spear of Miracles, but thankfully, I did not have to use it on this day."
Someone who needed a miracle was Ben Roethlisberger. Near the end of the first half, three Tim Tebows collided with Big Ben simultaneously. Roethlisberger, who was already playing without a left arm, had all of his limbs, organs and other body parts spill all over the field.
Mike Tomlin quickly assembled a crack team to help put Roethlisberger together. They placed the blue shoes, the pink ears and the black top hat on Roethlisberger's torso, but at that exact moment, a seagull swooped in and stole the orange nose.
Roethlisberger was forced to sit out, allowing Cruise, Herm Edwards, Tim Tebow and the 52 Tim Tebow clones to build a large lead in the second half.
RAIDERS 70, JETS 21
The Jets met Glandor, and it wasn't a pretty sight, especially for Eric Mangini.
Glandor, Al Davis' new 14-foot, 10-inch, 1,750-pound creation, stampeded right over New York defenders. Thirteen players were sent to the hospital. Five more took x-rays in the locker room.
Mangini cried after the game.
"It's not fair," Mangini sobbed. "I finally got an invitation to a party from one of the cool guys, and Glandor took it out of my hands in the third quarter and ate it! Then, he gave me a wedgie, and now those guys are laughing at me! I'm not allowed to go to that party anymore!
Mangini cheered up when he recalled that he was able to attend Randy Moss' New Years Eve party.
"That was a fun time," Mangini said with a bright smile on his face. "They made me sleep in the closet, but that's only because Randy said that he didn't have enough room on the floor in his garage. He had his bicycle and Super Soaker in there, so I can understand."
Meanwhile, Al Davis was discussing how great of a player Glandor is in his post-game press conference, when a bald, one-eyed minion emerged from the shadows.
"My lord, I have good news," the minion said, placing a claw on the podium. "I timed Glandor on one of his runs, and he went 0.7 in the 40! That's an improvement!"
Al Davis simply beamed.
MORELLI, GIRLFRIEND TO FACE CHIEFS
By Steve Sanders, Boston Beat Senior Writer Thursday, Jan. 9, 2014
Stay calm, Patriots fans. Anthony Morelli's girlfriend will be attending the New England-Kansas City divisional playoff matchup this Saturday night.
Morelli's girlfriend, who initially helped Morelli with the playbook, and later was hired to signal in the plays in a way that Morelli could understand them, was scheduled to play in a charity basketball event against the Penn State women's team this weekend. Morelli's girlfriend, who deemed the event more important than a "silly football game, told her boyfriend that she would be playing hoops instead. She cited the importance of raising money for female homophobia,
Acting swiftly, Morelli approached the head coach of the basketball team and demanded to have his girlfriend cut from the team. According to several reports, Morelli continuously yelled, "I want girlfriend to come to game! Eh yo!" until the coach gave in.
The coach of the charity hoops team was none other than former Chicago police officer and sitcom star Carl Winslow. Winslow signed up for the gig once he learned that the winning coach was awarded 50 boxes of doughnuts.
"Doughnuts are good," Winslow said.
With Morelli and his girlfriend on board, Emmitt stated that he felt confident going into his first ever playoff game as a head coach.
"Unless we go lackadaisical during the game... games, we will not lose to the Kansas City Chief," Emmitt said. "We will have Anthony Morel... Morg... May... Mont... Solomon and his girlfriend will read the plays to him with her voice."
Kansas City general manager Tom Cruise, meanwhile, matched Emmitt's certainty.
"There is no doubt in the collective brain of this organization that we will prevail," Cruise said. "I recently spoke to the king of the anteaters, and he assured me that the mistress of the wind will play in our favor on the eve of the second Saturday in the Year of the Fire Salamander."
Say what you want about Cruise and his alien wife Katie Holmes, but everything he has predicted thus far has come to fruition. That's bad news for Emmitt, Morelli and his girlfriend.