Emmitt on the Brink – Season 8: Week 2

Emmitt on the Brink.

The premise: Coming off a Super Bowl victory, the Patriots open the 2013 season with a blowout win. Unfortunately, they get into trouble for Spygate II. As punishment, Roger Goodell orders the Patriots to fire Bill Belichick and replace him with Emmitt Smith. Three years later, the Patriots beat the Bears in the Super Bowl, 2-0. After the game, Emmitt announced his retirement.

This is a weekly feature that will take a newspaper reporter’s perspective and follow Emmitt through his post-retirement days.

Of course, you can always look at all of Emmitt’s quotes in the Emmitt Smith Anthology.

Emmitt Smith 2015 New England Patriots head coach.

Emmitt tasked to find Kim Jong-Jongson

EMMITT REACHES WRONG DESTINATION

By Alex Rodriguez, Special to the NFL Bible Network
Wednesday, July 10, 2019

Emmitt was told that his flight from New York to North Korea would last an entire day, but it seemed much shorter than that. Nevertheless, the plane landed, and Emmitt prepared himself to begin his plan to stop Kim Jong-un from blowing up America in retaliation for Deflategate.

“Time to put a stop to the end that Kim Jongson is causing,” Emmitt said as soon as he walked out of the airport. He summoned a taxi and told the driver his desired destination.

“I want to go to Kim Jongson’s house,” Emmitt said.

“Kim Jongson?” the cabbie asked, completely befuddled. “I never heard of no Kim Jongson.”

“He the king of this country,” Emmitt explained. “He the one making all the laws, and he always say the number R instead of the number L when he talk, or write, or speak, so to speak.”

“Uhh… do you mean Kim Jong-un? Because that sounds exactly like him.”

“Yes, you right, I call him Kim Jongson, bu his real name Kim Jon… Jong… Jongsonson.”

“Bud, you’re in the wrong place,” the taxi driver said, trying his best to hold in his laughter. “Kim Jong-un is in North Korea. You’re in North Carolina.”

Emmitt slapped his forehead, incredulous that he once again made a traveling error; he previously flew to New Zealand instead of New England when he was first assigned to be the head coach of the Patriots about six years ago. Now, history was repeating itself.

“I… I am so stupids,” Emmitt said. “I got the wrong city wrong. Here I am in the city of North Carolina, but I should of flowned to the city of North Korean instead. Is North Korean far from North Carolina? Can I make the walk there, or do you suggest ridin’ the bus?”

“Bud…” the cabbie said slowly. “North Korea isn’t on the same continent. You could technically walk there, I suppose, but you’d be walking under the ocean, and that ain’t no good.”

“Yes,” Emmitt agreed. “Because bad things live under the ocean like shark, sting ray and pirate.”

Emmitt grabbed his luggage and stepped out of the taxi. He turned back toward the airport, but saw a familiar face exiting it. The man was fuming, and Emmitt immediately followed him, knowing that he would have to make a quick detour…