Emmitt on the Brink – Season 12: Week 7

Emmitt on the Brink.

The premise: Coming off a Super Bowl victory, the Patriots open the 2013 season with a blowout win. Unfortunately, they get into trouble for Spygate II. As punishment, Roger Goodell orders the Patriots to fire Bill Belichick and replace him with Emmitt Smith. Three years later, the Patriots beat the Bears in the Super Bowl, 2-0. After the game, Emmitt announced his retirement.

This is a weekly feature that will take a newspaper reporter’s perspective and follow Emmitt through his post-retirement days.

Of course, you can always look at all of Emmitt’s quotes in the Emmitt Smith Anthology.

Emmitt Smith 2015 New England Patriots head coach.

Emmitt Smith announce his unretirement!

PATRIOTS DEFEAT STEELERS, BUT PITTSBURGH GETS SOME GOOD NEWS

By Alex Rodriguez, Special to the NFL Bible Network
Monday, Dec. 28, 2020

The Patriots inched closer toward the playoffs, winning their eighth-consecutive game to improve to 8-6-1. They defeated the Steelers, who were previously unbeaten at 14-0.

Of course, some may say that there will be an asterisk attached to this victory because Antonio Brown was missing from the Steelers’ lineup. General manager Emmitt said he would take it, however.

“Somebody ask him if I care that there are an ask tricks attach to this winned, and I say that are hog washed,” Emmitt said. “I do not ask anybody for trick, and nobody on the Patriot do either, so I do not know where this rumored comed from.”

The Steelers, quite simply, could not keep pace with New England’s explosive offense, led by now non-colorblind quarterback DeShone Kizer. Being able to differentiate between teammates and the opposition, Kizer shredded Pittsburgh’s improved defense, going 27-of-30 for 442 yards and six touchdowns.

Pittsburgh’s scoring unit, meanwhile, was hampered by Brown’s absence. Brown, of course, caused some controversy during the week, accusing Ben Roethlisberger of cheating at board games at a recent sleepover. Things got so heated that Brown purposely sabotaged this game by not showing up to it. The Steelers, as a result, struggled to score, as Roethlisberger threw three interceptions compared to just two touchdowns in the 48-17 defeat.

Things seemed grim for the Steelers, but that changed after the game. Brown, who drove to Heinz Field himself, walked to the podium during Roethlisberger’s post-game press conference. The media was expecting there to be fireworks. They were shocked, however, by the exchange.

“Ben, I’m very sorry for how I acted,” Brown said. “It was very immature of me. I said you cheated at Girl Talk and Chutes and Ladders, but I’ve come to terms with it. You’re just a better board game player than me, and you’re better at getting girls to do what you want than I am.”

“Antonio, you have no need to apologize,” Roethlisberger said softly. “The only reason I’m great at board games is because I have the best board-game competitor in the world. You bring out the best in me because you provide the fiercest competition. If it wasn’t for you, I’d be terrible at board games and also bad at trapping girls in bathrooms.”

“That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me,” Brown said with a tear in his eye. “Ben, can we be fwiends again?”

“Yes, Antonio,” Roethlisberger beamed. ‘You’re my buddy and you’re my fwiend.”

“And you’re my fwiend, and you’re my guy,” Brown replied.

“And you’re my guy, and you’re my buddy,” Roethlisberger responded.

This went on for approximately 20 minutes. By the end, it was clear that the Steelers, despite the loss on this day, will be a major factor in the playoffs now that Roethlisberger and Brown have resolved their differences.