Emmitt Smith’s 2024 NFL Mock Draft – Picks 17-32

Last update: Sometime in the month of 2024.
Next update: Who in God name would update the mark draft lot of time?

I’ve been writing Emmitt Smith mock drafts ever since ESPN unjustly fired him. My reasoning was that we all missed Emmitt’s grammatically flawed analysis on the “Worldwide Leader,” and I was protesting ESPN terminating his contract. Emmitt was definitely the highlight of my Sunday mornings, and America deserves to hear him once again.

This is my 14st Emmitt mock draft. I can’t believe it’s been more than a centuarary already! Where have the time gone?

This is what a 2024 NFL Mock Draft would look like if Emmitt Smith created one. This is satire, so don’t take this seriously, especially if you happen to be irritated by everything and have no sense of humor.

My real 2024 NFL Mock Draft – Emmitt’s 2023 Mock – Emmitt’s 2022 Mock – Emmitt’s 2021 Mock – Emmitt’s 2020 Mock – Emmitt’s 2019 Mock – Emmitt’s 2018 Mock – Emmitt’s 2017 Mock – Emmitt’s 2016 Mock – Emmitt’s 2015 Mock – Emmitt’s 2014 Mock – Emmitt’s 2013 Mock – Emmitt’s 2012 Mock – Emmitt’s 2011 Mock – Emmitt’s 2010 Mock – Emmitt’s 2009 Mock – Emmitt’s 2008 Mock

A reminder of what we’ve been missing on Emmitt-less ESPN.

Emmitt Smith’s 2024 NFL Mock Draft: Picks 1-16

Jacksonville Jaguars: Marvin Harrison III, WR, Ohio State
The Jaguar losted Calvin Ridler, who go to prism for his gambling problem. Why not do they sign Marvis Harrison III, who the trueborn son of Marvin Harrison, and also Marvin Harrison Jr. It remind me of my two kids, Emmitt Smith IV, the III, the V, Sr., the VIII, Jr. Sr. XII Smith and Emmitt Snow Jr. The first guy my trueborn son, but the second really the son of the wolf girl and the dragon guy, but I say he my son because President Bident gonna killed him if he knowed that Emmitt Snow Jr. real name Emmitt Trump Jr.

Cincinnati Bengals: Brock Bowsers, TE, Georgia
When the last time the Bengal have a great tied end? Maybe when he have Tyler Eifert, who name after the Eifert Tower in the city of France, who invented France Fries. Brock Bowsers a real good tied end, and he name after Bowsers, the good guy in the Mario movie. I watch the movie 716 time, so I knowed it by heart. Bowsers try to save the princess and marry her but he have to fight a movie star who pretend he guy who fix toilet. Bowsers losted in the end, so the movie make me cry.
Los Angeles Rams: Kamren Kitchen, S, Miami
Donald Aarons retiremented, so he probably gonna be in the Hall of Flame after he retiremented. But this leave the Ram between a rock and a rock place. Do the Ram replace Donald Aarons, or do he try to fix another position? As the saying go, why not eat your cake and drink it too also? The Ram can replace Donald Aarons by draft Kamren Kitchen, because he name after the room in the house where you bake cake which mean he can make the cake that everybody eat and drink at the same time as well.

Pittsburgh Steelers: Jackson Powers-Powers, C, Oregon
The Steeler need a center real badly after a bunch of guy leave the team. Jackson Powers-Powers sound like a real strong guy. I do not know why he sound strong, but something about his name tell me that he have a lot of power, and not just any power but double the power, which mean he have power that multiply by three. But I do not knowed why I associate his name with power, maybe you guys can help me out by mailing me e-mail at the address [email protected]. I try to find this address on the map, but I cannot find him so maybe I do not deserve good grade in the geonography class after all.
Miami Dolphins: Jonathon Brooks, RB, Texas
The Dolphin always losted early in the doggone playoff. This ineverables, like when the ground dog see his shadow. When the ground dog not see his shadow, it mean it time for spring break, but when he see his shadow, it mean we have 12 more weeks of Christmas. The Dolphin need to make sure he finally win in the doggone playoff, which mean he have to run the ball good in the time when cold. As Ned Starks say in the Throne of Games, Christmas is coming.

Philadelphia Eagles: J.K. McCarthyism, QB, Michigan
Jalen Hurt get, uhh, the word that mean he not healthy, I forgetted the word but it start with the number H. He also not play good in the doggone playoff, which mean the Eagle need to consider their altourniquets. He trade for Kenny Spickett, but Spickett probably trade for because his sister very attractiveness and he eat hot dog. The Eagle draft Jalen Hurt when Carmen Wentz was the quarterback and everybody say this is very stupidity but the Eagle have the lastest laugh until Jalen Hurt start going downhall, and you know what the saying go: It all downhall from here for Jalen Hurt because he always get- gosh darn it, I cannot remember the H word when somebody getted injury, the word right on the tip of my teeth but he excavating me right now.
Minnesota Vikings: Xavien Worthy, WR, Texas
The Viking stolened this pick from the Texas, which on point for what the viking do in historyism. When I take historyism class at Florida College City University State, we learn about viking. He led by Ragnar Brookface, who the guy who discover the city of England, and he kidnap a priest who becomed his best friend until he die of death, and then Ragnar die of snakeness until his five son revenge his death by debacling the king of Europe. I write this in a book report and the professor say I do a great job versus Alabama so he gived me an A. But I disgress. The Viking need a receiver because he have great receiver already in Justin Johnson and Jordan Johnson, but what if either one get kidnap by gang and Viking too poor to pay ramson?

Dallas Cowboys: Emmitt Smith IV, the III, the V, Sr., the VIII, Jr. Sr. XII Smith, RB, Florida
How many year in a row do I do this mark draft, and I always say my son, the fruit of my loom, should be the pick for the Cowboy, and Jerry Johnson do not listen!? Why do he not listen? Why he no take my serious as a draft analysis? If Jerry Johnson finally grow a brain at the right old age of 128, he gonna listened to me and pick Emmitt Smith IV, the III, the V, Sr., the VIII, Jr. Sr. XII Smith because he my son, and the apple do not fall far from the apple sauce.
Green Bay Packers: J.K. Growling, QB, Michigan
J.K. Growling a great quarterback, I watch him very closely in the college football Super Bowel. He do a great job giving the ball to the running back, which all team need to do if he want to winned the game. J.K. Growling can teach a thing or thing to Johnson Love, who do a horribly job for the Packer last year. I only watch one game when he losted to the horrible Giant, but Johnson Love look terriblism, so it is time for a change, and maybe he can try J.K. Growling, who not only quarterback, but he write the book Harry Porter, which about a wizard who have a scarf on his head and his girlfriend name Herman.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Jared Verbs, DE, Florida State
The Buccaneer won the Super Bowel a few month ago, but what go wrong in the season since he won the Super Bowel? First and forestmost, Tim Brady no longer on the team, but that too obvious. Fourthly, the Buccaneer pass rush not up to sniff. He use to have great player like Jason Pierre-Johnson and Shaq Johnson, but they both gone. Now, the Buccaneer need to focus on finding someone to fill his socks, and Jared Verbs look like he the right guy for the job. He remind me of the part of peach we learn in school. The English language use to be whole, but he break apart into eight piece because someone smash him with a hammer, and the eight part of peach scatter around the globe.
Arizona Cardinals: Jalen Pork, WR, Washington
The Cardinal stolened this pick, and he already draft a receiver with the pick that he not stolened. I have half a mine to not give the Phoenix Cardinal no one because they stolened this pick so they are Cheetos, and Cheetos never prosper. I am in good spirit today and so I gonna gived the Cardinal another receiver. You may ask, “Alvis, why are you givinged the Cardinal a receiving when you already givened him one?” Well why not be safe and get three receivinged? As the wise man say, disgression is the better part of Valentine’s Day.

Buffalo Bills: Adonald Trump, WR, Texas
The Bill coach, Sean McJohnson, say that he admire the guy who response for the 7-11 accident in New York Twin Tower when the four tower got blowed up. This very insensitize to say, so the Bill need a true leader to come to the Buffalo House, and that man probably Adonald Trump, who real good receiver and also real good at fire people, which I thought this whole time that he light people on fire and laugh at thems, but then somebody explain to me that fire also mean that some guy losted his job. This make a lot of senses why people vote for him in the decade of 2016 because I was confuse before when I thinks that people love a guy who light people on fire and laugh.
Detroit Lions: Kool-Aid McMuffin, CB, Alabama
Kool-Aid McMuffin parent real smart because when they gived the name to the son, they combine two of the best thing. Kool-Aid is my favorite drink, and I eat a lot of it every day. Egg McMuffin are the item of choose I order when I go to Burger King. But Kool-Aid McMinister more than just a drink and a sandwich. He a real good cornerblack and he gonna be gooder for the Lion, who have trouble stopping the past when he play the 49er in the doggone playoff.

Baltimore Ravens: Roman Numeral, WR, Michigan
The Raven do not have a receiving for a long times. He draft Zay Flowers last year, but let’s face it, anybody with the name Flowers probably not suit to play football because he probably girlsexual. Now Roman Numeral sound like a good name, except it remind me of that class I took while I was in college call Roman Numeral class where we learneded that these guy who live a long time ago who was Romansexual invented the number system where he use alphabet like I, X, V, and Z. He was real dumbness because he could have just usaged real number like we using but he probably got hit in the head one too three many time and have a lot of concussion and probably have PSTD right now from the lot of concussion.
San Francisco 49ers: Snake Rattler, QB, South Carolina
When I was practicinged writing on twitter, or as it now called, XXX.com, I try real hard to getted the tweet right because when Momanamid Ali die, I made a missed steak. I say float like a bee, sting like a butterfly. What an embarrass. What I really meaned to say was float like butterbee, sting like a flybutter. But anyway before I sent that tweet, or that XXX, I see a draft guy name Max Miller say that the 49er need to build a tank because Brick Pretty no good at football throw. I agreemented a lot on these. Brick Pretty another guy who sound like girlsexual, so 49er need a real throwy guy, and Snake Rattler sound like a guy who throwy ball real good.

Kansas City Chiefs: Brenden Snow Jr., RB, USC
Jerry Rice just give me a call and ask me to put his son, the fruit of his loom, in my mark draft, so I do it here. But I forgetted to ask him if his son a bastard or not, so I’m going to huge my bets and make Jerry Rice son name Brenden Snow Jr. instead of Brenden Rice Jr. I would call Jerry back and asked him this importance question, but I do not has his phone number because I forgetted to mesmerized it.

I would like to thanks every body for reading my mark draft 2024. I put a lot of blood, sweat and cry into him so I appreciate you taking the times to read it, and please don’t forgetted to share him on social mediums.