Emmitt Smith’s 2021 NFL Mock Draft – Picks 17-32

Last update: Sometime in the month of 2021.
Next update: Who in God name would update the mark draft lot of time?

I’ve been writing Emmitt Smith mock drafts ever since ESPN unjustly fired him. My reasoning was that we all missed Emmitt’s grammatically flawed analysis on the “Worldwide Leader,” and I was protesting ESPN terminating his contract. Emmitt was definitely the highlight of my Sunday mornings, and America deserves to hear him once again.

This is my 12rd Emmitt mock draft. I can’t believe it’s been more than a centuarary already! Where have the time gone?

This is what a 2021 NFL Mock Draft would look like if Emmitt Smith created one. This is satire, so don’t take this seriously, especially if you happen to be irritated by everything and have no sense of humor.

My real 2021 NFL Mock Draft – Emmitt’s 2020 Mock – Emmitt’s 2019 Mock – Emmitt’s 2018 Mock – Emmitt’s 2017 Mock – Emmitt’s 2016 Mock – Emmitt’s 2015 Mock – Emmitt’s 2014 Mock – Emmitt’s 2013 Mock – Emmitt’s 2012 Mock – Emmitt’s 2011 Mock – Emmitt’s 2010 Mock – Emmitt’s 2009 Mock – Emmitt’s 2008 Mock

A reminder of what we’ve been missing on Emmitt-less ESPN.

Emmitt Smith’s 2021 NFL Mock Draft: Picks 1-16

Las Vegas Raiders: Chris Farley, CB, Virginia Tech
Chris Farley have a great career in Hollywood, so now he trying his hand in the National League of Football National League. I think he too fat to play cornerblack, which usually require a guy to weigh anywhere between 180 pounds and 170 pounds. Chris Farley from my guess would be 400 pound, but he real talented. He also have great bloodline. He the father of John Candy, who was another funny actress who star in Trains, Planes and Trains, and Crabbyshack. Unfortunately, he die of being fatness, so hopefully Chris Farley not die of being fatness neither, especially when he play football.

Miami Dolphins: Christian Ballsmore, DT, Alabama
The Dolphin draft Penes Swell earlier on my mark draft, and now he gonna pair Penes Swell with Christian Ballsmore. This actually a suggestion from my bastard daughter, Emma Snow Jr., and she laugh when I say the Dolphin gonna have Penes Swell and Christian Ballsmore on the same team. I don’t know why she laugh, but maybe because I has a bogey on my nose at the time, or something caught in my tongue. But that neither here nor here. With the two guy together, Penes Swell and Ballsmore gonna jam up the opponent real hard until he scream in pain and then he gonna comed to their stadium and debacle them.
Redskins Football Team: Devonta Smith, QB, Alabama
The Redskins Football Team need a new quarterback so he gonna get one, but let’s discussion for a moment how defensive the name the Washington Redskin happen to be. People need to stop calling the Washington Redskin the Washington Redskin and go with the prefer name the Redskin Football Team. Because Washington real bad word. The first president of this country, Abraham Washington, have grandkid who alive right now who are very defended that everybody using their grandpa name in veins. I would even be as bald to see that Abraham Washington rolling around in his grave right now, but everybody know they sented his ash to space after Osama Ben Laden shoot him in my hometown of Dallas.

Chicago Bears: Liam Icecreamberg, OT, Notre Dame
Mitchell Trubinksky a great quarterback. He winned the NVP. So the Bear need to make sure he is protectioned just like Troy Akins was protectioned when I play with him for the Cowboy. But then thing change. Troy Akins was protectioned a lot when we were in our early days while playing for the Cowboy, but then his protectioned felled apart, and then he got hit so many time that he suffer a caucasian. A lot of fan do not understand how serious caucasian can be to football player. If you get hit in the noggin too many time, it can really mess up your head, and soon enough, you gonna be writing and saying thing that make no senses!
Indianapolis Colts: Christian Seasaw, OT, Virginia Tech
The Colt say goodbye to Anthony Bonanza this onseason because he go into unretirement. Now, Carmen Wings gonna need more protectioned, just like the Bear great quarterquartback Michael Trubinksy who winned NVP. He need a new left tackle, which called the blind slide, because the first left tackle who ever play football was a blind guy. Then Sandra Bullocks gift birth to a big black baby name Michael Bullock and they make a movie about him because he also was blind.

Tennessee Titans: Sam Cosmos, OT, Texas
Taylor Lewinsky, who the grandson of former Vice President Monica Lewinsky, are the blind side of the Titan. He also blind. He also injury. Very injury and very injury blind. And now the Titan need to protectioned Ryan Tannington, who also a great quarterback because he lead his team to the doggone playoff two week in a rows. Sam Cosmos remind me of space travel, which American just did when he becomed the first man who land on the surface of Mercury. I hope this guy did not meet any Martian while he was on Mercury because when he comed back, maybe the Martian and him gonna plan a coo, which something that happen when two guy have a coo and try to destroy the world.
New York Jets: David Nixon, DT, Iowa
I does not know anything about the Jet, so I assume he need a defensive line to help him stop Tom Brady. David Nixon happen to be another grandson of a different politic. This guy the grandson of Richard Nixon, who becomed the second president to become peached after Donald Trunk. Donald Trunk got peached because he make long distance telephone call to somebody name You Crane and not pay for it, and Richard Nixon got peached because he try to prevent George Lincoln from free the slave. I consider Richard Nixon one of the great president of all times until I learn that he try to stop George Lincoln, and now I think he the worstest president except Eisman Howard.

Pittsburgh Steelers: Michael Carter, RB/WR, North Carolina
The Steeler throw the ball all the times last year, which mean they need a running back to carry the ball. But because they like to throw ball a lot, maybe he gonna draft a guy who can run and throw like Michael Carter. Michael Carter sometime a running back and sometime a receiving, which remind me of math class when we learnt that sometime a rectangle is a square, and sometime a square is a circle. In this example, Michael Carter sometime a rectangle, sometime a triangle and sometime an octopus!
Jacksonville Jaguars: Pat Firemouth, TE, Penn State
The Jaguar need to gived some weapon to Gardingham Minchew, who would be a great quarterback if he have some good weapon. Right now, Gardingham Minjack bringing a gun to a knife fight, so he really underpower. Pat Firemouth maybe the guy he need. Pat Firemouth real quick, great catch, and breathe fire. He like the octopus from the show Thrones of Games. The girl with white hair ride the three octopus and she good guy until she burnted the whole house down and then Jon Fire marry her and then killeded her so he can has the throne for himselves.

Cleveland Browns: Rashon Baseman, WR, Minnesota
Baker Basefield take a big step last month, and he was much better than he were in the month of 2019. I was very criticisms of Baker Basefield because he do so many commercial before he winned a game in the doggone playoff. He basically puttinged the car before the whores. But he proof me wrong when he finally winned a game in the doggone playoff after spending two decade in the National Football Football League of Leagues. Maybe he going to retirement soon because he old guy, but before he do, maybe the Brown gonna finally gived him a good receiving to go along with Jarvis Larvis. .
Baltimore Ravens: Alex Tablewood, OT/G, Alabama
Lamar Jaskin not good enough like Mitchell Trubearsky because he do not winned the NVP, but he winned the MVP in the week of 2019. He take a step back in 2020, but as the saying go, two step backward, one step backward. If you arthithmatic two plus one, you get eight, so why do Lamar Jaskin taked nine step backward? Because he losted two member of the offense line. Ronald Stanley and Marshal Yangus retiremented, so the Raven need to find a replace. Alex Tablewood gonna be a good replace as long as you use a coast guard on the Tablewood. If you do not used a coast guard, your table gonna blowed up because he wood.

New Orleans Saints: Trevon Moodring, QB, TCU
It time for the Saint to move on from Drew Brees. He still a young guy, but he need to go into unretirement with Baker Basefield. He wonned the Super Bowl a week ago, but he not wonned a doggone playoff game for a longs time. He feel the thrill of victory and the agony of the feet, and if you smell feet a long time, you can sometime get Corollavirus. The Saint can replaced David Brees with Tyson Hill, but they need to stop from scratch and get a new guy, and this Trevon Moodring quarterback real great quarterback because he throw good and also throw good too as well.
Green Bay Packers: Joshhashahawawa Bledsoe, WR, Missouri
I thought the Packer gonna have to draft a receiving last year, but the Packer shock everybody when they draft a quarterback name Jordan Love. Jordan Love all ready retiremented from the League of Football National League of Football because he so old, so now it time for Rodgers Johnson to get a new receiving to go along with Davante Adam. Joshhashahawawa the father-in-law of old quarterback Drew Bledsoe. If you do not know the science of family, if somebody the in-law to somebody, that mean he the lawyer of somebody because the lawyer the guy who control all the law.
Buffalo Bills: Pete Werner, LB, Ohio State
Kurt Johnson, the quarterback who use to be the quarterback of the Ram and Cardinal, he one of my bestest friend. When I goed to his home one time for dinner, he showned me his family tree, which he plant in his backyard. He tolded me he have a son name Pete. Now, Pete gonna enter the Football League of Leagues of Football National Football League of Football. Now you may ask why Pete Werner do not have the same alphabet in his last names as Kurt Warner, but that only because the guy who write his burp certificate forgetted the alphabet A and put in the alphabet E instead. The guy who writed my burp certificate when I graduate from Florida State, he spelt my name wrong. He spelt it E-M-M-I-T-T S-M-I-T-H. This not how you spelt my name. I forgetted how to spelt my name but what I does know is the guy who write the burp certificate make a missed steak.
Kansas City Chiefs: Allergic Jackson, OT, Iowa
The Chief thought they gonna winned the Super Bowl for the eighth year in a row, but he losted to the Buccaneer. This a classic example of counting your egg before he hatch. The Chief offense got debacled, which mean he need to find some offensive line to protect for Patrick Mormons. If the Chief do not find better blockage for Patrick Mormons, they gonna be like cutting of their nose despite their face.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Nacho Harris, RB, Alabama
I do not envisioned the Buccaneer winning the Super Bowl this year. But like Forest Glump say, “Life like a box of chocolate. You never know what gonna be inside.” The Buccaneer surprise everybody, so can he do it again? I do not has all the answer because I am not a fortunate teller who can see the passed, but what I can say is that the Buccaneer need a good running back because Leonidis Fivette real old like maybe 45 year old, and the Buccaneer need a running back because the running back the key to winning a Super Bowl. Tom Brady do good, but the real reason the Buccaneer winned was because Fivette score a touchdown like your truthly when I wonned two Super Bowl.

Welcome you for reading my draft mock. I work real hard on this 2021 draft mock, it probably take me three decade to start, and three decade to finish. This a real long time, probably like eight year, or maybe six month, so I appreciation you reading the work of my blood, sweat and cry.