Emmitt Smith’s 2023 NFL Mock Draft – Picks 17-32

Last update: Sometime in the month of 2023.
Next update: Who in God name would update the mark draft lot of time?

I’ve been writing Emmitt Smith mock drafts ever since ESPN unjustly fired him. My reasoning was that we all missed Emmitt’s grammatically flawed analysis on the “Worldwide Leader,” and I was protesting ESPN terminating his contract. Emmitt was definitely the highlight of my Sunday mornings, and America deserves to hear him once again.

This is my 13st Emmitt mock draft. I can’t believe it’s been more than a centuarary already! Where have the time gone?

This is what a 2023 NFL Mock Draft would look like if Emmitt Smith created one. This is satire, so don’t take this seriously, especially if you happen to be irritated by everything and have no sense of humor.

My real 2023 NFL Mock Draft – Emmitt’s 2022 Mock – – Emmitt’s 2021 Mock – Emmitt’s 2020 Mock – Emmitt’s 2019 Mock – Emmitt’s 2018 Mock – Emmitt’s 2017 Mock – Emmitt’s 2016 Mock – Emmitt’s 2015 Mock – Emmitt’s 2014 Mock – Emmitt’s 2013 Mock – Emmitt’s 2012 Mock – Emmitt’s 2011 Mock – Emmitt’s 2010 Mock – Emmitt’s 2009 Mock – Emmitt’s 2008 Mock

A reminder of what we’ve been missing on Emmitt-less ESPN.

Emmitt Smith’s 2023 NFL Mock Draft: Picks 1-16

Pittsburgh Steelers: Joey Poster Jr., LB, Penn State
For those of you who do not knowed, Joey Poster Jr. the son of the former great Steeler, the, uhh, I can’tnot remember the guy name but it rhyme with Joey Poster Jr. but I can’tnot remember for life of me. But anyway, Joey Poster Jr. a chip off the old box like his father. They all most the same guy, the only difference are that Joey Poster Jr. have a Jr. in his name, which stand for janitorism.
Detroit Lions: Smith Smith-Smith, WR, Ohio State
Armor St. Brain a real good receiver, but he the only receiver the Lion have on his roster after B.J. Shark leave in free agents. This mean the Lion have to go after another receiver, and this guy Smith Smith-Smith real good, and not only because he have the same name as another guy I know. I can’tnot remember who this guy was for the light of me, but maybe the light blob gonna go off in my head by the time this mark draft gonna be over and I remember who the guy who also have the name of Smith.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Devon Witherspoon, RB, Illinois
Tim Brady announce that he is gonna go off riding into the sun rise. But there a chance the Buccaneer can get him back! If you have not hear, Brady having sexuals relation with the actress Reese’s Witherspoon, who the CEO of Reese’s. Her younger twin brother coming into the league this year, so if the Buccaneer can draft this guy to be their new running back, then maybe Reese’s Witherspoon will allow Tim Brady to play football and then gonna make Brady ex-wife Gerbil real jealousy.
Seattle Seahawks: Jetson Bennett, QB, Georgia
Ruskell Wilkins getting a little old in the tooth, as the saying go. The Seahawk barely maked the doggone playoff last year, but he did so in spit of Ruskell Wilkins, who not just struggle, he struggle a lot. It is time that he get put out to patches, so the Seahawk maybe can draft another short quarterback, Jetson Bennett, who real small. But big thing come in small packagements, and Jetson Bennett real small, so maybe he gonna make it real big in the NFL like he did when he won the Super Bowl two time while playing for the Georgia.

Los Angeles Chargers: Myles Murphy, DE/DT, Clemson
I learn a lot when I go to the University of Florida State College Central State. We have one class where we learnt how to count to 10 without using our hand. I all ways count using my 10 hand on my two finger because it is so easy, but this class teach us all semester how to do it. I then tooked the final and got a 5/10 because I only make it to five, but my professor bump it up to 8/10 because I play football. Another class was much harder. We learnted about word. And they has a special word for two word with the same first alphabet. They call it obliteration. Myles Murphy have a name with obliteration, so I like him as a prospect so I think he should go to the Charger.

Baltimore Ravens: Zay Floppers, WR, Boston College
The Raven caught between a rock and a rock place with Lamar Jaskins. He one of the best quarterback in the history of football in the state of Baltimore, but then again, he asking for way too much money. He need to fire his secret agent, his momma. Now, don’t get me wrongess. Everybody should listen to their momma. I do all the time. When Evelyn IV the Smith the Jr. XIII the DCCX Jr. Smith telled me something, I do it all the time. But then again, my momma were never my secret agent. It is never a good idea to mix business with getting pleasured, and this the grave missed steak that Lamar Jaskins make.
Minnesota Vikings: Brian Branch, S/CB, Alabama
The Vikings can’tnot defend anyone in the Giant lossed, so he need someone to stop the great Giant receiver. Especially with someone who have obliteration is him’s name like Brian Branch. Speaking of obliteration, this remind me of another class I taked at State Florida University of State Penitentiary Florida call the History of Us. Normal history class real boring because they talking about old people who die in all 12 world war, but this history about what we do in the passed. One question we have on the final were, “What did you has for breakfast this morning?” I answer Egg McGuffin, but it turnt out that cereal was the right answer so I fail with a 55. But then I get boostedment to 80 because I play football.

Jacksonville Jaguars: Sicky Icky, DT, Baylor
I must issue an apologize. I said last month when I do the 2022 mock that Tyler Lawrence the biggest draft bus the league have ever seened. But it turnt out that he struggle so much as a rookie because him’s coach Irvin Meyers, a real idiot. Momma all ways say if you does not has anything nice to say then say nice thing and lie, but what Irvin Meyers try to do to Tyler Lawrence career can be characterize as a miscarry of Justin.
New York Giants: Jordan Maddison, WR, USC
I mention earlier that the Giant receiver real great last year, especially against the Viking in the doggone playoff. But why not add to the strength? Like Cousin Ben say in Spiderman, with great strength come real strength. If the Giant make their great receiver even greaterness, then he can finally win the Super Bowl for the first time since Elvin Manning do so when he upset the Patriot 20 decade ago.

Dallas Cowboys: Emmitt Smith IV, the III, the V, Sr., the VIII, Jr. Sr. XII Smith
Every year I bet Jerry Jaskin to draft my son, Emmitt Smith IV, the III, the V, Sr., the VIII, Jr. Sr. XII Smith, the fruit of my loom. And every year, the Cowboy past on him. Why this happen! It no wonder that the Cowboy all ways struggle to win in the doggone playoff, but that would not be the cased if Emmitt Smith IV, the III, the V, Sr., the VIII, Jr. Sr. XII Smith were the running back. I am so proud of my son, he graduate with honors at my almond matter. I do not knowed how he do this, given how many hard class I has to take!
Buffalo Bills: Joe Gibbs, RB, Alabama
The same reason the Cowboy all ways lossed early in the doggone playoff can be apply to the Bill. He all ways lossed because he have no running game when it get coldness outside in the month of Christmas month, after Christmas month, and Valentime’s Day Month. We learnt month name in one of my college courses, but I already forgetted everything I learnted. Jeo Gibbs can become the next Tormund Thomas, just like Emmitt Smith IV, the III, the V, Sr., the VIII, Jr. Sr. XII Smith can become the guy who use to run there in the 90s, which just seem like the other day even though it happen three century ago.

Cincinnati Bengals: Michael Myers, TE, Notre Dame
Tide end need to be real tough. The tide end guy on the Cowboy when I play for the Cowboy was name Gay Novacek. This may not make it seem that he not tough, but I never met a tougher man in my lives. When I look at the list of tide end for the draft because the Bengal need it, the name Michael Myers stand out to me. Michael Myer kill a lot of people in the movie on one of the holidays, I think Thanksgiving, and yet he never get sent to prism. In fact, he about to play in the League of Football League! This type of killer are exactly what the Bengal need.
New Orleans Saints: Jonathan Bingo, WR, Ole Miss
Alvis Kamara probably going to prism, while Michael Thomas real old tooth in the mouth. The Saint need some play-maker in his offense, and so he probably going to consider somebody like Jonathan Bingo, who remind me of the song Old McDonald’s. But that song really confuse me because the song say McDonald’s are a farm, but McDonald’s a building where you can go up to the guy who live there and ask for cheeseburger and then he gived it to you. I then ask him if he have a dog who name Bingo, and he look at me like I have two head. But he the one who crazy because the song say he have a dog, but he forget!
Philadelphia Eagles: O’Sinus Torrence, G, Florida
I so angry at the Eagle because he all ways have two pick. Why he all ways have two pick! Howie Rosemont steal pick like he robbing a bank every year, but instead of take money, he take pick! This make me wonder if there are bank out there who have draft pick in the vault instead of money. If so, if I happen to be a general management in football, I going to take a knife and rob the bank guy at gunpoint until he gived me all the pick in the vault, and then I gonna have all the pick so I can finally draft Emmitt Smith IV, the III, the V, Sr., the VIII, Jr. Sr. XII Smith and also my bastard son, Emmitt Snow Jr., who really my nephew but please do not tell anyone.

Kansas City Chiefs: Harry Toe Toe, RB, Alabama
I can’tnot belief another mark draft now in the book. I work so hard on this mark draft, maybe like three year, and he finally come to a close. The last pick for Patrick Melhomes because he have no running back, so Henry Toe Toe sound like a good player even though I never heard of him. Henry Toe Toe also remind me of feet, which are a lot like finger. Every feet have five hand, much like finger. This all so something I learnt when I was in my college day. I sorry for reminisce a lot about my college day, but I having a bit of a Metlife crisis. Maybe I gonna buy a motorcycle or hampster to get over it, but never the least, I gonna be back next year for my next mark draft!