Emmitt Smith’s 2019 NFL Mock Draft – Picks 17-32

Last update: Sometime in the month of 2019.
Next update: Who in God name would update the mark draft lot of time?

I’ve been writing Emmitt Smith mock drafts ever since ESPN unjustly fired him. My reasoning was that we all missed Emmitt’s grammatically flawed analysis on the “Worldwide Leader,” and I was protesting ESPN terminating his contract. Emmitt was definitely the highlight of my Sunday mornings, and America deserves to hear him once again.

This is my 10th Emmitt mock draft. Last year, I had Matt Millen take half the picks, but I thought that Emmitt deserves his own mock draft, especially on his 10-year anniversary. I can’t believe it’s been a decade already! Where has the time gone?

This is what a 2019 NFL Mock Draft would look like if Emmitt Smith created one. This is satire, so don’t take this seriously, especially if you happen to be irritated by everything and have no sense of humor.

My real 2019 NFL Mock Draft – Emmitt’s 2018 Mock – Emmitt’s 2017 Mock – Emmitt’s 2016 Mock – Emmitt’s 2015 Mock – Emmitt’s 2014 Mock – Emmitt’s 2013 Mock – Emmitt’s 2012 Mock – Emmitt’s 2011 Mock – Emmitt’s 2010 Mock – Emmitt’s 2009 Mock – Emmitt’s 2008 Mock

A reminder of what we’ve been missing on Emmitt-less ESPN.

Emmitt Smith’s 2019 NFL Mock Draft: Picks 1-16

New York Giants: Ridley Riley, WR, Georgia
This the pick the Giant acquire in the trade with the Cincinnati Bengal for Odell Beckham Jr. It real good that the Giant do not decide to trade for Odell Beckham Sr. because it gonna be real embarrassment if he trade for the other Odell Beckham. This happen to be one time when I play Madden 99 on Nintendo. The other team trick me, then I break Nintendo and never play him again!

Why not the Giant go after Ridley Riley, who the illegitimate son of Calvin Ridley. It a shame that he not unillegitimate, which the opposite of the word illegitimate.
Minnesota Vikings: No Pick!
I gettin’ sick and tire. Every time somebody bring up Kurk Cousin, I always ask who he cousin of. And nobody answer me. This ridiculous. And making matter worser, they look at me like I have three head, even though three head better than one although I do not knowed relation of three head compare to two head. Maybe if I grow second head one day for Christmas, people gonna find out.

But I have enough. I going on strike and not going to give Viking pick. And when I say strike, I do not mean like the strike you have in basketball, five strike and you out. I mean strike like people go on hunger strike and eat as many food as possibles because they has hunger.
Tennessee Titans: Travis Lawrence, QB, Clemson
I like to give prayer and thought to Marcus Mariogi, who was not able to play in the season final last year because he die. This surprise me, but then my friend say that Mariogi do not have any guts. If you do not has any guts, you gonna die, so Mariogi obviously dead. This explain why the Titan trade for Ryan Cannonhill in the free agent time. Ryan Cannonhill was once a first pick round but he have been a big failure in the football league of football. It time for the Titan to get better quarterback.

Travis Lawrence are primary example of disappearences can be deceiving. He have long hair and look like a Disney princess like Winter White, Sleeping Booty, and Dorothy from the Lion, the Witch and the Watch. But he have real good talent, and I surprise I do not mark him earlier but he do not appear on my sheet for some reasons.

Pittsburgh Steelers: Marquise Brown, WR, Oklahoma
I find it real surprise that the Steeler losted Antonius Brown in the trade agency. This so surprise that I real surprise. Antonius Brown not just one of the best wide receiver in the league of football, but he also the best receiver in the AFC division.

As the famous saying go, it take one to knowed one. The Steeler knowed Antonius Brown, so they can get another Brown to join JoeJoe Schuster-Smith at receiving. I ask my friend who like the Steeler if this good pick, and he laugh and say why would Steeler pick relative to Antonius Brown? And I say nobody really knowed if they two in relation! Just because they have the same first name do not mean they relation and beliefing they is really offendedsive!
Seattle Seahawks: Justice Hill, RB, Oklahoma State
I read something smart somebody on the Interweb say after I sign on to American On The Line. When the modem stop buzzing, I open the Internet Exploration and a guy on BookFace say that Ruskell Wilkens MVP canadate, but the Seahawk miss Marchel Lynch a lot. I agree this, so this is the time the Seahawk need to finally draft a predecessor for Marchel.

Justice Hill first name Justice, which mean he probably name after the Justice of the Superstar Court. These nine people play basektball on basketball court, which have superstar. Maybe he name after Brick Cavenfall, the latest Justice of the Superstar Court. Brick Cavenfall have a lot of controversy earlier because he have sexual with doctor. This controversy because doctor are like priest and cannot have sexual with the opposite sexual. But they cannot proof this so he becomed Justice of the Superstar Court anyway.

Baltimore Ravens: Monte Sweat, DE/OLB, Mississippi State
Terrible Suggs have been playing for the Raven probably since 1985, which maybe 20 year ago. This a long time. But now, he gone. Terrible Suggs sign with the Arizona Cougars, which real surprise to me. He was a great player for the Raven even though his name Terrible. Maybe his parent really messed up when he got borned and should of name him Unterrible Suggs.

Monte Sweat run real fast at the combines. This probably gonna get him draft in the first round, though I do admit that I do not have a crystal rock and cannot see the past! But I can use one of my other eight sense and know that Monte Sweat probably smell because his first name are Sweat.
Houston Texans: Emmitt Smith IV, the III, the V, Sr., the VIII, Jr. Sr. XII Rev. Smith
When I watch the Houston Texas play in the doggone playoff, and not only play in the doggone playoff, but losted in the doggone playoff, I see that Deshaun Hopkins do not has any pass protect in the pocket. But this symptom of something else, which are the lack of running game. Lamar Johnson not real good, and Donut Foreman not real good as well either too also. This open the door for the Texas to draft a running back.

Ladies and gentlefolk, it is time to introduce my son, the fruit of my loom, to the mark draft. I try to get my son mark drafted every year now, but he never get draft. I beg the question, why this happen? He not only a great football player, but he great at football as well, so it is time for him to join a club in the National League of Football and become a hair to my legacy.

Oakland Raiders: Jachai Politeness, DE/OLB, Florida
I have soft spot for Jachai Politeness, and not just because he go to my almond matter. And it not because his last name Politeness, which mean someone real politeness. I have these soft spot because he treated nonfairly by draft reports.

Everybody down on Jachai Politeness because he run a slow cone time. Well, excused me if I do not think this big deal, or even medium deal, or even the other deal that not big or medium, but I forgetted word for not big and not medium. When I go to ice cream shop and get ice cream cone, it take me a long time to eat it also as well too. I like to enjoy ice cream cone because he real tasty, and also you not suppose to eat ice cream cone real fast or else you gonna get freeze brain, which is where your brain get real coldness, and if someone bump into it too hard, he gonna shatter into little pieces!
Philadelphia Eagles: Brett Rypien, QB, Boise State
When the Eagle trade Nick Folds to the Jaguar, I imagine it a really hard pillow to swallow. But this something the Eagle must do because Carson Wins also on the roster too. Carson Wins a younger, better quarterback than Nick Folds even though he not really as good and his body got a lot of injury, so he almost older than Nick Folds. But age gonna catch up. Carson Wins probably 24 year old right now and Nick Folds probably 29. This mean that in four year, Carson Wins gonna be older than Nick Folds, and there nothing Carson Wins can do anything about it.

OK, you canvince me – the Eagle need a quarterback. When I look at the list of quarterback, Brett Rypien stand out to me. I remember a name Rypien from my playing day, and I belief he use to quarterback the Redskin, if memory snort correctly. I do not know if this Rypien the same as that Rypien, but irregardless, the Eagle could take Rypien with these pick.

Indianapolis Colts: Chauncey Johnson-Johnson, S, Florida
Michael Irving once famously say that point win championship. But sometime you gotta stop the other team from getting point. That mean you have to add some great defense players to the death chart and then you can play good defense if you has good defense player.

Chauncey Johnson-Johnson from my old school, the Gator. He have two Johnson in his name, which make me think of another great saying, that two Johnson better than one Johnson. I hear this when I past by my son room and playing a video on his computer gizmo. Then, later, I past by again, and I hear girl moan. I wonder what the blot of this movie can possibly be, probably someone realize that it better two has two Johnson better than one Johnson.
Oakland Raiders: Cleveland Ferrell, DE, Clemson
Normally I would make the Raider forfeit pick because he have too many pick in first round. I seened team have one pick all the time, and sometime team even have two pick, but three pick a lot more pick than two pick, which already a lot of pick to has. But I hear the news that the Raiders win this pick in lottery, so I must wish my upmost congratulation on win the lottery. I play lottery every night, but I never winned anything. I always pick the same number: 22. The winning number always 1,000 and above but maybe 22 gonna come up one day.

Cleveland Ferrell remind me of the country of Cleveland as well as Will Ferrell, who make a lot of movie. If you do not seened his movie, he make movie call Elf, Step Cousin and Anchor Man. The first three movie are good, but the last one real disappoint. I pay money to see this film in the film theater. I buy soda, candy and cornpop and sit and wait and wait and wait, but nothing. This movie do not have a single anchor in it. I pay good money to see a movie about anchor, because I find anchor real interesting, but there were no anchor in sight! I am think about writing a piece of my minds to the movie theater company for falsed advertisements.
Los Angeles Chargers: East Stick, QB, North Dakota State
Philip River have been a great quarterback since 1995 for the Charger, but it almost time for him to meet his marker. He probably 55 year old by now, but I do not checked because I can’t not go to library because my library car expire. But the fact that he is getting old in the mouth, so the Charger have to find a new quarterback in the near and far future.

East Stick come from the same school as Carson Wins, so he probably a good quarterback. East Stick actually remind me of a time in my teenagehood when I as interest in a girl. I ask her out on a date, and she ask me if I drive stick. I telled her yes because after all who do not drive with a stick in his car in cased of emergency? But load and behold, she look real disappointment when I show up to her house in my car and there was a stick in the back seat of my automobile. She ask why there stick in car, and I telled her that I drive stick around, and she leave and go home. I still confuse by this situation to this day!
Kansas City Chiefs: Bennie Smell Jr., RB, Kentucky
Patrick Homes win the MVP award, which stand for Mostest Variable Player, because he great as a rookie last year. This real good, but everybody doing him a misservice by saying he sound like the green guy on the show Sesame Seed, Kermit the Snake. Patrick Homes a great quarterback so who care if he sound like Kermit the Snake? He not a guy who in love with Mr. Pig!

The Chief need a running game after what happened recent. Kareem Hunter got kick out of the football because he probably kill somebody, so the Chief need a new running back. Let us just hope that Bennie Smell Jr., the son of Bennie Smell III, do not stink too much. See the joke? It funny because “Smell” and “stink” are both word who begin with the alphabet “S.”
Green Bay Packers: Gardner Cashew, QB, Washington State
I gived the Packer a safety earlier in my mark draft to help Aaron Rodger winned a Super Bowel for the last time because he gettin’ real old mouth. Now, the time have comed to replace Rodger. The Packer need to find a new quarterback once this pick come around to fruition.

Gardner Cashew a real good quarterback from the University of Washington College. And I not saying this because he have the name cashew. I like cashew, which probably on my top five list of favorite food. I cannot remember the other top five list of favorite food but I try to eat cashew whenever possibles. I order pizza with cashew on it, and the guy from the pizza place real confuse at first, but now he put cashew on my pizza with no answers asked!
Los Angeles Rams: Magnum Pie, QB, BYU
Do you see what happen to Jared Golf in the Super Bowel? He choke real hard under pressure. In fact, you could say that Golf have a boogey, because that what happen when in golf when somebody have a boogey in their nose. They put the finger in their nose and pick the boogey out and then continue to golf again like nothing happen.

Magnum Pie probably a real good quarterback, not only because he have Pie in his name, but his name are Pie. Pie are one of my five favorite food, but I cannot for the lives of me remember the other four favorite food in top five. And then Pie have another meaning, which another name for a circle. When you have a circle, if you have a Pie, you have 314 circle, which a lot of circle if you ask myselves.

New England Patriots: Jace Hamburger, TE, Texas A&M
Hamburger another favorite food I has in my top five, but I can’t not remember the other favorite food in my top five. Only hamburger come to minds at the moments, and I only thinks of these because Jace Hamburger are on this pick. His parent name himselves Jace Hamburger because he love hamburger as much as I does.

It is time to bid a dude to Rob Gronk, who heading into unretirement this year. Gronk one of the greatest tide ends of all times, and he will be mist. Hopefully he follow the stepsfoot of Jason Wicken and head into the Monday Night Football boot to become an analysis for game. Gronk a smart guy, so I imagination that he have a lot of interesting thing to say. Meanwhile, Jace Wicken heading into nonunretirement, but I hear a rumor that he might be doing a mark draft himselves. I respect Jon Wicken, but he probably not going to have as great a mark draft as myselves!