Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2021





Jerks of the Week: Feb. 1, 2021


Jerks of the Week: Melvin Capital, Citadel and Other Hedge Funds

When I published an entry about Dumb Bears in the Stock Market in Jerks of the Week last Monday, I never thought I'd create another article about trading the following week. Little did I know that GameStop would skyrocket from $65 to $325 by the end of last week!

GameStop was listed atop my Top Stocks to Buy list for months, although I should note that I am not a registered financial advisor, nor am I issuing stock advice even though I published all my due diligence on the purchase. I've seen other people say stuff like this, so I imagine it's required to avoid some sort of punishment. I don't want to be sued up the butthole because I neglected to say that.

At any rate, I sold most of my GameStop shares for a massive gain. It was still too early though, as I missed the whole runup when Elon Musk tweeted about it. I couldn't sleep that night because I knew I missed out on so much money.

Of course, everyone knows about GameStop now. It's all anyone's talking about. All of the major news networks are covering it. Vice President Joe Biden's press secretary is dodging questions about it. Every other video on the YouTube home page is discussing it. Everywhere I turn, it's all about GameStop. I had dinner with my parents and sister recently for my mom's birthday, and we spent half of dinner talking about GameStop and the stock market in general.

It's a crazy phenomenon. I was buying GameStop back in May when it was $5, and then when it dipped into the $4 range. I even remember being in Las Vegas in July and seeing GameStop at $3.80 per share. I considered purchasing 1,000 more shares at that time, but I foolishly bought something else and then went down to the pool, where I was accosted by a horny, middle-aged woman who wanted to invite me up to her room because her husband was always away on business. Had I bought those 1,000 shares of GameStop, I would have profited an extra $100,000-plus when I sold. Whoops!

My initial thought process with GameStop was that it would double, maybe triple in price because PlayStation 5 and the new XBox would be released around the holiday season. My goal was to sell the stock for $15. Then, ex-Chewy CEO Ryan Cohen bought 10 percent of the company, prompting me to do a whole write-up about it on this site. I recommended it as a purchase on my Facebook wall even though I am not a registered financial advisor and was not giving financial advice, and some people laughed at me:



It was so frustrating to have the knowledge I possessed, yet those who did no research just dismissed what I was saying as nonsense. Luckily, some people listened, and I know at least one of them became a millionaire because of it.




The new consoles and Cohen's purchase of the company were all great, bullish indicators, but the cherry on top was the short interest in the stock. GameStop, at its peak, was 140-percent shorted! For those of you who don't know what this means, let me explain it to you in the same manner as I did with my parents during my mom's birthday dinner.

There was a can of blackberry Canada Dry in front of me, so I used it as an example with my parents. Say you wanted to make some immediate money, so you borrowed the blackberry Canada Dry from my parents and then sold it for $1. That's how shorting a stock works. You eventually have to buy back the stock, but not if it goes bankrupt. So, in the blackberry Canada Dry example, let's say that a medical report is released saying that blackberry Canada Dry causes people to have cancer, AIDS and bloody diarrhea all at the same time. No one will want it. You'll be able to get these cans of treacherous soda for free. So, when the price reaches zero, a successful short seller will "buy" back the blackberry Canada Dry for free and then give it back to my parents, profiting a whole dollar per can. Pretty sweet deal, huh?

Well, what if the opposite happens? What if it's announced that Canada Dry will stop making blackberry flavor, and then it's revealed that there are only a dozen or so blackberry Canada Dry cans in existence? It'll suddenly become a luxury item and a hot commodity. It'll sell on eBay for $1,000 or more. My parents, realizing this, will demand for the blackberry Canada Dry to be returned, and if you don't give it back, they'll seize your assets because they're that gangster. This is what's referred to as a margin call. If you can't return the blackberry Canada Dry, or prove that you have the funds to handle such a huge loss, you'll forfeit everything.

This is what happened to GameStop stock. Of all the shares available, 140 percent of them were shorted, so there were no shares available to be bought back when the price spiked. Imagine my parents demanding that you give back their blackberry Canada Dry, yet there are none available on eBay, causing the price to rise every single day. You'd be living in a cardboard box in no time.

Unfortunately, people who were shorting GameStop avoided the cardboard boxes because they were bailed out by other hedge funds. In this stock's case, Melvin Capital was the largest shorter of GameStop. The CEO of Melvin, Gabe Plotkin, bought a $44 million waterfront property and was even looking to expand it, thanks to all the money he obtained from shorting GameStop:



In a fair world, Plotkin would've had to pay the price. He would've lost his palace and then found a nice cardboard box to live in, much like the Duke brothers at the end of Trading Places.

Instead, another billion-dollar hedge fund, Citadel, run by some scumbag named Ken Griffin, loaned Plotkin $2 billion. Citadel is the market maker of the newbie brokerage Robinhood, which either restricted or eliminated the purchase of GameStop stock at the end of last week. On Thursday, when GameStop rose to $440 per share, Robinhood, taking its orders from Citadel, completely cut off the purchasing of GameStop in order to tank the price. It dropped to $195 by the end of the day! Robinhood then promised to reopen trading of GameStop on Friday, but tricked everyone by limiting purchases to five shares, and then one share by the end of the day.

This is the definition of market manipulation, and these people should go to prison. Unfortunately, that will never happen. They'll be slapped with a big fine, but that fine will be less than what these hedge funds would've lost had GameStop been allowed to rise to its natural price. I think GameStop would be $700 per share right now if it wasn't for any sort of market collusion.

The most frustrating thing is that nothing will be done about this. I mentioned Vice President Joe Biden's press secretary, Jen Psaki earlier. Her brother, Jeff, is a portfolio manager at Citadel, the very hedge fund that prevented Robinhood users from purchasing GameStop and other rising stocks at the end of the week. Meanwhile, senator Elizabeth Warren defended these billion-dollar hedge funds on Twitter. Warren and many others in congress on both sides of the aisle are likely invested in these billion-dollar hedge funds, so they'd lose lots of money if GameStop and other highly shorted stocks were able to rise. Thus, no one in the government will do anything about this blatant market manipulation. Ladies and gentlemen, the establishment. These oligarch scumbags are merciless.




If we had a fair system in place, shorting would be illegal. In what other facet of life can you borrow and then sell something you don't own? Musk tweeted it best:

"You can't sell houses you don't own. You can't sell cars you don't own. But you can sell stock you don't own!? This is BS - shorting is a scam. Legal only for vestigial reasons."

Musk is absolutely correct. Shorting serves no productive purpose, outside of completely selfish reasons. When you buy stock, you're helping the company. If enough people buy shares, the stock price will rise, and the company can expand with this new capital. It's a great thing, and it benefits everyone, from the company, to the shareholders. Even the people who work for the company make out well because they get to keep their jobs and perhaps get raises.

But what happens when a company is shorted? Nothing good, except for the short seller. The stock price drops because shares never owned are sold. If there's a large enough short attack, the company may never recover and is perhaps driven into bankruptcy. The people running the company lose lots of money, and the people who work for them lose their jobs. All because some greedy, scumbag billionaire hedge fund manager wanted to purchase a $44 million waterfront home.

The only argument I've heard for shorting is that it allows to root out fraudulent companies like Enron, but shorting creates more harm than good. GameStop is not a fraudulent company. Why did they have to be 140-percent shorted? Sure, they were struggling through Covid before Cohen bought into the company, but they didn't deserve to be driven into the brink of bankruptcy by short sellers. If these billion-dollar hedge funds didn't like GameStop, why couldn't they find another stock they liked and buy that instead? They could have avoided this entire mess.

Instead, hedge funds like Melvin refused to return their shares of GameStop. They got media companies to write hit pieces about GameStop in an attempt to incite fear, causing people to sell their shares. And if that wasn't enough market manipulation, Melvin had some mouthpieces appear on business channels. These guests would create more panic by telling the audience to sell. In some cases, the actual hosts of these networks were in on the game. If you have time, take a listen to a CBNC interview with Chamath Palihapitiya regarding GameStop's surge and listen carefully to the host's words:



I don't know that host's name, but he's an obvious hedge fund plant. He repeatedly said, "I'm so worried about the little guy getting hurt by holding the bag." What a virtue-signaling piece of s**t. He doesn't care about the common folk. If he did, where was the concern about people losing their jobs as a result of aggressive short-selling attacks? What the host was doing by talking about someone getting hurt was inciting fear. He didn't want people to buy and drive up the price because the billionaire hedge fund managers would continue to lose money.

In what world is it fair that billionaires get to sell stuff they never owned and then get people on TV to incite a panic so that they can make tons of money and drive companies out of business, creating mass unemployment in the process? It's ridiculous that this is allowed to happen. Where is the SEC in all of this? Do they not know this is happening? I'd say they're busy jerking off to animal porn or something, but they're obviously in bed with these hedge funds. All they're going to do is slap these hedge funds with a meaningless fine. It's bulls**t.

Short selling should be illegal. But if it remains legal, I say we should be able to borrow anything we don't own. If your neighbor has a cool car, borrow it and sell it without asking him! Have fun taking an Uber to work every day, Paul! Are you annoyed with the people across the street? Borrow their house and sell it so they go away! You won't be setting off fireworks at 2 a.m. during the next holiday, scumbag Russians!

As for me, I'm just going to borrow my parents' blackberry Canada Dry. Hopefully it doesn't give me bloody diarrhea.







LOADING COMMENTS...



More Jerks of the Week:
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Jerks of the Week - Aug. 1, 2016: Walt Goes to Vegas 2016, Part 3: Cowabunga Bay
Jerks of the Week - July 25, 2016: Walt Goes to Vegas 2016, Part 2: The Blue Man Group and the Spanking
Jerks of the Week - July 18, 2016: Walt Goes to Vegas 2016, Part 1: Philadelphia International Airport
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2016: Jerks of the Birthday Party: Knee to the Balls
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2016: Shirtless Fish Tank Man and Facebook Douche
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2016: Twitter Social Justice Warriors
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2016: Getting Lost and Poisoned
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2016: Sad Mushrooms, Lonely Potatoes and Angry Men
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2016: Water Aerobics
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2016: Bar Conversations
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2016: Tales of Five Errands
Jerks of the Week - May 9, 2016: Adventures at Acme
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2016: The Italian Cafe
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2016: Toxic Hell, Revisited
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2016: Starbucks Sucks
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2016: Jerks of Bizarro Rite-Aid
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2016: April Fools and April Truths IV
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2016: Battle of the Gyms: Old Gym vs. LA Fitness
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2016: Random Pictures on My Phone
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2016: Meshack and Marco Manilla
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2016: Lucifer
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 29, 2016: An Afternoon at McDonald's
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2016: Night at the Spa: My First Massage Ever
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2016: Surprise in a Box, Crazy Woman at the Bank, Dumb Girl at the Spa
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2016: Macaroni's
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2016: McPick 2
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2016: Seeing Star Wars
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2016: Powerball
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2016: December Heat Wave
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2016: The Top Five Jerks of 2015
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2015: Christmas Shopping Without a Baby
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2015: Christmas Shopping with a Baby
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2015: Mad Mex
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 7, 2015: Famous Dave's
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2015: Another Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2015: The Trip to Pennhurst Asylum
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2015: Halloween 2015
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2015: Jerks at My Sister's Wedding - Part 2
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2015: Jerks at My Sister's Wedding - Part 1
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2015: The Shirtless A**hole Brigade
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2015: Weight Gain and VANDALISM
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2015: Jerks of the Gym Pool
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2015: Papal Visit 2015
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2015: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2015: Second Trip, Part 2
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2015: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2015: Second Trip, Part 1
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2015: Tubing Down the Delaware: A Near-Death Experience
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2015: Jerks of My Birthday - A Surprise in My Bed!
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2015: Walt Goes to Vegas - Part 5: Slot Machines and Random Vegas Stuff
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2015: Walt Goes to Vegas - Part 4: Sportsbooks, Whore Houses and Michael Jackson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 17, 2015: Walt Goes to Vegas - Part 3: Vegas Dining Experiences
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2015: Walt Goes to Vegas - Part 2: Mandalay Bay Hotel
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2015: Walt Goes to Vegas - Part 1: The Philadelphia International Airport
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2015: Cookies, Chips and Bombs
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2015: Stupid People in My Neighborhood
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2015: Sherlock Walt, and the Cases of the Scrambled Eggs and Missing Pepsi Bag
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2015: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2015: Part 2
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2015: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2015: Part 1
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2015: The Philadelphia Writers' Conference - 2015 Edition
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2015: Tales from the Baby Pool
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2015: Uzbekistan
Jerks of the Week - June 1, 2015: Memorial Day Grocery Shopping at Giant
Jerks of the Week - May 25, 2015: A Tale of Four Neighborhoods: Con Artists, Dog Poop and a Stolen Watch
Jerks of the Week - May 20, 2015: Roger Goodell
Jerks of the Week - May 18, 2015: Catching Up on Gym Jerks: Two Abominations, Two Creeps and a Monster
Jerks of the Week - May 11, 2015: A Racist, a Woman-Beater and a Horse - the Greatest Sports Day Ever
Jerks of the Week - May 4, 2015: Puppy-Training Classes
Jerks of the Week - April 27, 2015: Gym Jerks - with Pictures!
Jerks of the Week - April 20, 2015: It Follows
Jerks of the Week - April 13, 2015: Bottom Dollar Closes - Part II
Jerks of the Week - April 6, 2015: Bottom Dollar Closes - Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 30, 2015: April Fools and April Truths III
Jerks of the Week - March 23, 2015: The Old Man, the Heroic Man, and the Desperate Man
Jerks of the Week - March 16, 2015: The News: Predators, Mushrooms, the Weather and the Undead
Jerks of the Week - March 9, 2015: Valentine's Day Gifts
Jerks of the Week - March 2, 2015: Disappearing Jerks: the Loser, the Douche, the Hobo and My Food
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 23, 2015: Gym Patrons and Their Mistakes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 16, 2015: Return to Kyoto - The Japanese Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 9, 2015: Jerry Jackson
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 2, 2015: Paranoia, Incest and Near-Death - All at the Gym!
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 26, 2015: Going to the Flyers Game
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 19, 2015: Return to Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 12, 2015: Chris Christie, Clorox, Gay Jokes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 5, 2015: More Christmas Shopping
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 29, 2014: 2014, Year in Review
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 22, 2014: Jerks of Christmas Shopping, 2014
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 15, 2014: Idiots at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 8, 2014: Septa Train Zombies
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 1, 2014: Lifeguard Training Day
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 24, 2014: Too Many Cooks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 17, 2014: Halloween and Orange Juice
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 10, 2014: Dunkin Donuts
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 3, 2014: Kyoto and Japanese Food
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 27, 2014: Mario Lopez and Lily Adams
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 20, 2014: My Quest for a Lasagna Pan
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 13, 2014: Telling the Truth
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 6, 2014: Birthday Shopping at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 29, 2014: Dinners to Go
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 22, 2014: Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 15, 2014: All Waiters Hate Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 8, 2014: Befriending Those Who Want to Kill Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 1, 2014: Little League World Series, Morning Radio Shows
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 25, 2014: Why True Blood Sucks
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 18, 2014: Selfies and Spammers
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 11, 2014: Shopping for Bras, Dominatrix Items and Stolen Goods
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 4, 2014: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2014
Jerks of the Week - July 28, 2014: The Tampa Trilogy, 2014: Part 3 - Jerks of the Hotel and Ybor
Jerks of the Week - July 21, 2014: The Tampa Trilogy, 2014: Part 2 - Jerks of Disney World
Jerks of the Week - July 14, 2014: The Tampa Trilogy, 2014: Part 1 - Philadelphia International Airport
Jerks of the Week - July 7, 2014: Dumb Kids, an Old Pervert and a Lunatic
Jerks of the Week - June 30, 2014: Girl Meets World, Sushi and Soccer
Jerks of the Week - June 23, 2014: Therapy Pool Abominations
Jerks of the Week - June 16, 2014: Sprint Framily Commercials
Jerks of the Week - June 9, 2014: Jerks of the DMV
Jerks of the Week - June 2, 2014: Five-Year Anniversary: 50 Apologies
Jerks of the Week - May 26, 2014: Night of the Six Stink Eyes
Jerks of the Week - May 19, 2014: Internet Idiots III
Jerks of the Week - May 12, 2014: Hate Mail, Part 2
Jerks of the Week - May 5, 2014: Hate Mail, Part 1
Jerks of the Week - April 28, 2014: People Plotting My Death
Jerks of the Week - April 21, 2014: How I Met My Cell Phone
Jerks of the Week - April 14, 2014: Bad Omens Monday
Jerks of the Week - April 7, 2014: Clothes Shopping
Jerk of the Year - April 1, 2014: How I Met Your Mother Finale
Jerks of the Week - March 31, 2014: April Fools and April Truths II
Jerks of the Week - March 24, 2014: Downtown Business Meeting
Jerks of the Week - March 17, 2014: Jerks of the Old Gym
Jerks of the Week - March 10, 2014: Winter Olympics
Jerks of the Week - March 3, 2014: Valentine's Day Commercials 2014
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 24, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 3: The Great Flood
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 17, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 2: Power Outage
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 10, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 1: Stomach Virus
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 3, 2014: Cooking with Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 27, 2014: Just Wright
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 20, 2014: People Who Steal From Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 13, 2014: Snowed In and Going Insane
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 6, 2014: Christmas Shopping 2013
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 30, 2013: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 23, 2013: Toyotathon Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 16, 2013: My Elliptical - Struggles of a Fat Man
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 9, 2013: Weird Food, Terrible Music and Rude Service
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 2, 2013: AT&T It's Not Complicated Commercials Part 2
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 25, 2013: Pizza Gluttony
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 18, 2013: The Seven Deadly Jerks at Bravo!
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 11, 2013: Redskins Team Name Controversy
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 4, 2013: Jerk-of-Treaters
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 28, 2013: WalterFootball and the Case of the Kidnapped Granddaughter
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 21, 2013: Jerks of the Mall: Hot Chicks vs. Ugly A**holes
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 14, 2013: Cereal Trilogy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 7, 2013: Urban Education: Getting Pregnant at 13
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 30, 2013: The Philadelphia Writers' Conference
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 23, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 3: Return of Soulless-Eye Lady
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 16, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 2: Confrontation Friday
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 9, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 1: Windows 8 and the Geek Squad
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 2, 2013: Jerks of the WalterFootball.com Forum Party
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 26, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 3: Lots of Hot Chicks
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 19, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 2: Eternal Life
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 12, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 1: The Drowning Fat Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 5, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 4 - The Strange Woman Who Wanted to Give Me Head
Jerks of the Week - July 29, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 3 - The Serial Killer and the Dance-Bang Girl
Jerks of the Week - July 22, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 2 - First Beach Day and Two Nights Out
Jerks of the Week - July 15, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 1 - Jerks at the Airport
Jerks of the Week - July 8, 2013: Master Zumba Invitation & Female Stalkers
Jerks of the Week - July 1, 2013: Jerks of Election Day - Damsel in Distress
Jerks of the Week - June 24, 2013: Attack of the White Trash Brigade
Jerks of the Week - June 17, 2013: Emmitt Smith Reviews Game of Thrones and Other Shows
Jerks of the Week - June 10, 2013: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - June 3, 2013: The People We Saw at Kenny's
Jerks of the Week - May 27, 2013: Jerks of the May 18 Wedding
Jerks of the Week - May 20, 2013: Internet Idiots II
Jerks of the Week - May 13, 2013: Sunday Shopping
Jerks of the Week - May 6, 2013: Jerks of the Housewarming Party
Jerks of the Week - April 29, 2013: Hot Tub Adventures
Jerks of the Week - April 22, 2013: Jerks of Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - April 15, 2013: Jerks of New Computer Day
Jerks of the Week - April 8, 2013: Jerks of Walnut Grove
Jerks of the Week - April 1, 2013: April Fools and April Truths
Jerks of the Week - March 25, 2013: It's Not Complicated AT&T Commercials
Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2013: My Second Stalker, Jerks of the Old Gym Pool & Locker Room
Jerks of the Week - March 11, 2013: Blizzard of 2013
Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2013: Jerks of Tulane
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2013: Jerks of New Orleans
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2013: Jerks of Philadelphia International Airport
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2013: Jerks of Bowling Night
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2013: Jerks of Tango: Where They'll Be in 2020
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2013: One Final Night at Tango
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Twitter Idiots
Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype
Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




2021 NFL Mock Draft - April 7


NFL Power Rankings - April 4


2022 NFL Mock Draft - Feb. 24


NFL Picks - Feb. 8


Fantasy Football Rankings - Jan. 11



 





 

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