Jerks of the Week – May 16, 2011



Jerks of the Week for May 16, 2011


JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Conspiracy Theorists

Writing online is great because of the instant feedback. Unlike publishing a book or working for a newspaper, I can instantly get praised or slammed for something just seconds after posting it.

That was the case in my Jerk of the Year rant about Rashard Mendenhall. About an hour after publishing it, I received an e-mail from a former military person, thanking me for calling out Mendenhall for being a complete ignorant moron. Throughout the week, I obtained several other e-mails and Facebook messages that sounded pretty similar.

And then there was the other end of the spectrum. Some people, mainly those in the comment section of that particular Jerks of the Week entry, berated me for criticizing Mendenhall because of his right to free speech. This was hypocritical, because in doing so, they were attacking me for my free speech. I guess that’s what happens when people sniff glue for five hours and then proceed to use the Internet.

Meanwhile, there were a handful of crazy people who actually believed Mendenhall’s claims that a plane couldn’t have possibly destroyed the World Trade Center. Two guys, Adam and Lamar, flooded my Facebook wall with ridiculous conspiracy theories. Here were some of their posts:

  • Mendenhall was right: 9/11 was an Inside Job by the American Govt. Just research the facts before you start trashing me. Research Building 7 of the World Trade Center. It was a controlled demolition by the Govt.

  • Walter- the govt has been using Bin Laden as a boogieman for years on us..he is a hoax!!! as is Obama- wake up sheeple!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Did you read what rockefeller states in his own memoris ??? Are you just dont lik being called a sheeple?

  • Im sorry but there is no way on gods green earth that a cave dweller with little flying experince on a single engine Cesna was able to perfectly fly a Boeing 757 at 500+ MPH and crash land it PERFECTLY into the side of the worlds most safest building…do you?

  • I just want you guys to remember when the $ no longer the worlds reserve currency by the end of next year and America is a 3rd world country, you will remember this very here post….And I now have more respect for Rasard Mendenhall then ever, ever b4!

    I nearly lost my mind reading crap like this over the first two days of the week. I never get angry about anything, but I finally snapped on Wednesday:

    I’ve had enough of this nonsense. Every few years, there’s a new conspiracy theory that dopes like Lamar and Adam buy into. “America is done!” they chant. And they are always wrong. Fortunately, other idiots buy into these retarded conspiracy theories, which drives the market down a bit. That’s when the smart people buy stocks and eventually make lots of money when the market rebounds. It always rebounds.

    When the dollar is not in shambles at the end of the year, Adam, Lamar, and others of their ilk will crawl back into their holes and wait until the next moronic, unfounded conspiracy surfaces so they can blindly follow that like the “sheeple” they truly are.


    Two quick notes about conspiracy theorists:

    1. Conspiracy theorists exist only because these people realize that their existence in the universe is so small and insignificant, that they need to believe there is some omnipotent puppet master pulling all of the strings. It’s essentially like some religion – except little boys don’t get molested.

    2. As you may have noticed, they like to use made-up words like “sheeple.” This makes them feel important. They think of these dumb words while eating Cheetos and whacking off to beastiality porn in their parents’ basement.

    Having said that, I wish I didn’t get so mad because Adam and Lamar actually did me a favor. Later that night when I was in the shower – calm down, ladies – I really did some thinking, and I’ve come up with an awesome conspiracy theory of my own.

    Following in the footsteps of the Fall of the Republic creators, I’ve compiled an extensive documentary, using seemingly impressive, but bogus sources and flashy images.

    Behold, my awesome documentary, Rise of the Alien Squirrels!

    Narrator: Squirrels. Small rodents that roam our streets. They dig into our trash. They pick up acorns. They climb trees. They’re insignificant pests.

    Or are they…?



    Narrator: Have you ever wondered why all squirrels look the same? You’re not alone. Have you ever wondered why there are no fat squirrels? No small squirrels? No baby squirrels? You’re not alone. Have you ever wondered where squirrels go at night or during the winter? You’re not alone.

    *** Close up of the narrator ***

    Narrator: Have you ever wondered if squirrels are aliens who plan on taking over the world? If so, you’re definitely not alone.

    *** Eerie music ***

    Confusing voices in the background: Squirrels. Aliens. Squirrels. Acorns. They look the same. No baby squirrels. No fat squirrels. No squirrels at night. Squirrels. Aliens. Squirrels. Acorns.

    Narrator: Where did squirrels come from? What is their purpose here? What do they have in store for us?

    Adam Dee, author of the book, “All Cheetahs Worship Satan”: Why is no one asking these questions? Where do squirrels go during the winter? They don’t appear to have wings, so they don’t fly south. They don’t live in nests. They don’t live underground like groundhogs. Where do they go?

    *** Eerie music ***

    Narrator: The answer may not be below, as in a hole. It might just be above… as in the sky.

    Lamar Savitch, author of the book, “Your Toaster Could Be Your Soulmate”: It really puzzles me that no one realizes how similar squirrels and aliens look… The only question I have is, “Which planet did the squirrels come from?”



    Lamar Savitch: They both have gray skin. They both have deep, black eyes. It’s only a matter of time before people begin noticing this, and it’s only a matter of time before they enslave us all.

    Alex Jones, author of the book, “Don’t Eat That Pepperoni Pizza – It Could Be Possessed”: Squirrels don’t have an alien ship in space. They have an armada of alien ships in space. There’s no questioning that. Satellites detected something a few weeks ago. Was it a weather balloon? A helicopter? Or… a fleet of squirrel warships?

    *** Eerie music ***

    Narrator: But who is behind all this? Who is allowing the squirrels to roam our streets?



    Narrator: Could the U.S. President be involved? What does he know?

    Confusing voices in the background: Squirrels. Aliens. Squirrels. Acorns. Obama. Teleprompter.

    Rashard Mendenhall: There are two schools of thought. One, Barack Obama has a deal with the Squirrel Emperor. The squirrels provide all the energy he’ll need to fake more terrorist attacks, and he lets squirrels collect their acorns. The second is much scarier. It’s that Obama is a squirrel himself. That would explain his fake birth certificate.

    *** Eerie music ***

    Narrator: But what is the purpose of collecting these acorns? What does the Squirrel Emperor plan to do with them?

    Tom Cruise, author of the book, “Mermaids Will Take Over the World in the 27th Century”: Scientists have proven that a single acorn can light up a city for eight years. Imagine what the Squirrel Emperor is doing with hundreds of acorns. He is planning to destroy this planet with his acorn energy.

    *** Eerie music ***

    Narrator: How long do we have until the squirrels destroy us all? Can our civilization survive? What can we do to stop the squirrels? Buy the full-length DVD copy of Rise of the Alien Squirrels, available for $19.95 on Amazon.com, to find out!




    JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 2: Crosswalkers

    I did stupid things when I was a kid. When I was really young, I smeared cream all over my bedroom wall because it seemed like a good idea at the time. When I was 8, my friend Josh and I fired “cherry bombs” – cherries that we unsuccessfully tried to light on fire with matches – at school buses. And when I was 12, I nearly attempted to diagonally cross a busy intersection on my bike because I didn’t understand the concept of crosswalks.

    Fortunately, I was with my friends at that moment, and they taught me that you have to cross a busy intersection one street at a time. No wonder I was never invited into the mentally gifted class.

    Yes, I was retarded, but I was also a kid. And besides, I know plenty of adults who don’t know how to use crosswalks. In fact, I saw three last Monday.

    I was on my way to the mechanic to get my headlights fixed – more on that later – when this fat Mexican lady held up the entire intersection because she decided to cross the street when the parallel drivers had a left-turn arrow. The drivers weren’t able to turn left because it took her about a minute to wobble over to the opposing sidewalk, so they were stuck in the intersection when the light turned green.

    What seemed like hours later, I stopped at the next intersection. I spotted this hot Mexican chick standing on the corner. I’m lucky the light was red because I definitely would have crashed my car trying to check her out while driving.

    The light turned green, but I couldn’t drive because the hot Mexican chick decided to cross the street in front of me.

    Look, I know they don’t have any traffic lights or cars in Mexico, but when you sneak into this country illegally, you should at least ask someone how crosswalks work. People say that deer and people on cell phones cause the most vehicular accidents. I disagree. It’s illegal immigrants who don’t know how to cross the road.

    Americans, meanwhile, know how to cross the street. We just do so violently.

    On my way back from the mechanic, I stopped at a red light about two minutes away from my house (Bustleton and Byberry, if you live in the Philly area). A car in the lane to my right zoomed past me, blatantly running the red light. This prevented some woman from turning left even though she was halfway into the intersection. She tried to back up her vehicle, but there were already people behind her.

    This poor female driver was blocking the crosswalk. Now, this wouldn’t be an issue for any sane person. Unfortunately, this ridiculous-looking woman was crossing the street at that very moment. She was an old, fat lady with a white afro. She was wearing a royal blue baseball cap and a light blue t-shirt. She was also carrying two paper bags, presumably concealing bottles of liquor.

    When the old hag approached the aforementioned car, she could have just gone around a little bit. Instead, she angrily slammed her fist on the hood of the car twice. She then yelled something at the female driver and continued her journey across the street.

    There was no reason for her to be so angry. Unless, of course, she was drunkenly venting her frustration about the pharmacy being sold out of afro combs.

    My light eventually turned green, and I drove home. Luckily, I didn’t run over any Mexican chicks in the process.




    JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 3: Russian Mechanics

    As promised, I’m going to discuss my interesting trip to the mechanic.

    I had a headlight problem. First of all, my left headlight wasn’t working. More seriously, the glass protecting the headlight was cracked, so I needed that fixed. There’s a mechanic right next to my mom’s dental office, so she told me that she spoke to them. They asked me to come in around 3, and that’s exactly what I did.

    I pulled into the mechanic, and I immediately recognized that it was a shady Russian operation. How did I know this? Well, there were angry-looking people with slicked-back hair wearing track suits and smoking cigarettes. All shady Russians wear track suits, gel their hair back and smoke cigarettes. Fact.

    Suddenly, this Russian version of Lurch approached my car.

    Russian Lurch: Vhat you vant?

    Me: Umm… I was supposed to get my headlight fixed.

    Russian Lurch: Go cross zee street.

    At least that’s what I think he said. I looked behind me and noticed a building with a sign that said, “Credit Repair! Hair Salon! Computer repair!” All in one building, eh? Yeah, that’s not a front for a Russian drug cartel, or anything.

    Before Russian Lurch was able to kick me out, the owner of the place approached me.

    Owner: Who send you?

    Me: My mom spoke to you earlier. I have to get my headlight fixed.

    Owner: Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Your mazher say you come.

    I handed Russian Lurch my car keys. He pulled my car into the shop and began tinkering with the headlight. After about five minutes, I started to get restless.

    Me: How long do you think this will take?

    Russian Lurch: Yes.

    What? Since when did that become a yes-or-no question? I asked again.

    Me: No, I mean how long do you think it’ll take you to fix this?

    Russian Lurch: Yes.

    Ugh. I thought about asking a third time, but I noticed this shady bald guy in a blue track suit leering at me. Was I asking Russian Lurch questions I wasn’t supposed to? I thought I’d lighten the mood by saying hello.

    Me: Hey, how ya doing?

    Bald Man:

    Bald Man said nothing. He scowled back. I was about to s*** my pants out of fear, when the owner approached me again.

    Owner: Vill be ready een 15 minutes.

    I went over to my mom’s lab to kill some time. Fifteen minutes later, I walked back to the mechanic.

    Owner: Car fix. I need to call junkyard to see how much part is cost.

    Me: OK. How much do I owe you?

    Owner: I call you.

    Now, I know what you’re thinking – this guy is cool with me owing him money? I don’t have to pay him at all right?

    See, that just shows me that you know nothing about Russians. If I don’t pay him within several days of that phone call, Russian Lurch will put a Russian horse’s head in my bed. And chances are the horse’s head will have a cigarette in its mouth.




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    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2020: One Big Happy Family
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2020: The 20th Anniversary That Never Was
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2020: The Voting Sticker and the Lockdown Hypocrites
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 7, 2020: Joey and the Diaper-Trained Duck
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2020: Double Belly Button Man
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2020: The Most Cowardly Man on the Planet
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2020: Barbara and the Starving Child
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2020: Halloween 2020
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2020: InvestScorpio
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2020: FilipinoCupid.com
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2020: The Great Antifa War of Labor Day
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2020: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2020
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2020: Death Wishers
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2020: Mask Karens at Starbucks
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2020: Annoying Kids in My Neighborhood
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2020: Giant Bean Stock Lady
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2020: Voice Actors
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2020: Walt Goes to Vegas 2020, Part 5: The Positives of Pandemic Vegas
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2020: Walt Goes to Vegas 2020, Part 4: Masks, Burgers and Twigs
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 17, 2020: Walt Goes to Vegas 2020, Part 3: The Evil Mosquito Man
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2020: Walt Goes to Vegas 2020, Part 2: Meeting a Porn Star
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2020: Walt Goes to Vegas 2020, Part 1: Airport Amid a Pandemic
    Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2020: Happy Uncle's Day
    Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2020: Jerks of the Gym While Not at the Gym
    Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2020: Back to Restaurants
    Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2020: Lockdown Lunatics
    Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2020: YouTube Workout Videos
    Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2020: CHAZ Losers
    Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2020: Quarantine Stories III: My Dog's Lover
    Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2020: Quarantine Stories II
    Jerks of the Week - June 1, 2020: Quarantine Stories
    Jerks of the Week - May 25, 2020: Welcome to Miami, Part 7: Mr. Critique, the Galloping Horse and the Case of the Disappearing Kids
    Jerks of the Week - May 18, 2020: Welcome to Miami, Part 6: Peruvian Problems and Taco Island
    Jerks of the Week - May 11, 2020: Welcome to Miami, Part 5: Hot Women with Hair Problems
    Jerks of the Week - May 4, 2020: Welcome to Miami, Part 4: The Best Burger Place in the World
    Jerks of the Week - April 27, 2020: ESPN's 2020 NFL Draft Coverage
    Jerks of the Week - April 20, 2020: Welcome to Miami, Part 3: Strippers and Salsa
    Jerks of the Week - April 13, 2020: Welcome to Miami, Part 2: The Adventures of Leonys Maroney III
    Jerks of the Week - April 6, 2020: Welcome to Miami, Part 1: The Adventures of Maximillian Cucumber, the VIII
    Jerks of the Week - March 30, 2020: April Fools and April Truths VIII: Coronavirus Edition
    Jerks of the Week - March 23, 2020: Dumb People in the Wuhan Coronavirus Pandemic
    Jerks of the Week - March 16, 2020: Wuhan Coronavirus
    Jerks of the Week - March 9, 2020: Car Inspections
    Jerks of the Week - March 2, 2020: Star Trek Picard
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 24, 2020: Nephtali Diaz
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 17, 2020: 2020 Oscars Golden Academy Awards and the Dana Schwartz South Park Tweet
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 10, 2020: The Golden Global Awards and the British Royals
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 3, 2020: Tiny Lifeguard, Cookie Monster Lady, Handsome Men in the Locker Room
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 27, 2020: Worst Best Dinner Ever: My Nifty Fifty's Saga
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 20, 2020: Millennials and Man Buns
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 13, 2020: Happy New Year, 2020
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 6, 2020: My New Dog, Raven
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 30, 2019: The Return of Facebook Beggar
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 23, 2019: Daughter for Sale
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 16, 2019: Mall Joker
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 9, 2019: Downton Abbey: The Movie
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 2, 2019: Our Healthcare System
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 25, 2019: The Most Popular Musicians
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 18, 2019: It's Raining Men
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 11, 2019: Trick-or-Treaters, 2019
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 4, 2019: The Mark Zuckerberg Testimony
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 28, 2019: The Worst Beer Purchase
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 21, 2019: The Worst Song Ever
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 14, 2019: Bank Robbers (Including Me)
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 7, 2019: Dumb Parents, Irrelevant Pregnancy and MeUndies
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 30, 2019: Horny Hot Tub Guys
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 23, 2019: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2019, Part 5: The Many Random Jerks of Las Vegas
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 16, 2019: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2019, Part 4: The Suicide Squad and the Blowup Doll
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 9, 2019: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2019, Part 3: Mojito Bro's Concubines and Casino Narc
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 2, 2019: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2019, Part 2: Mojito Bro and the Cabana Crew
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 26, 2019: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2019, Part 1: The Philadelphia International Airport
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 19, 2019: The Word "Stupid" and Birthday with the Nephews
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 12, 2019: The Sensory Deprivation Chamber
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 5, 2019: Jerks of the Baltimore Wedding: Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - July 29, 2019: Jerks of the Baltimore Wedding: Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - July 22, 2019: Welfare Shouting Match and FAAAAARKS!!!!!
    Jerks of the Week - July 15, 2019: Walt Goes to OBX, Part 5 - Attack of the Black Flies
    Jerks of the Week - July 8, 2019: Walt Goes to OBX, Part 4 - Sewage Water and No Hot Dogs
    Jerks of the Week - July 1, 2019: Walt Goes to OBX, Part 3 - More Poop Encounters
    Jerks of the Week - June 24, 2019: Walt Goes to OBX, Part 2 - Sherlock's First Day at the Beach
    Jerks of the Week - June 17, 2019: Walt Goes to OBX, Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - June 10, 2019: The 10-Year Jerks of the Week Anniversary
    Jerks of the Week - June 3, 2019: Bingo Night
    Jerks of the Week - May 27, 2019: The One-Year Anniversary
    Jerks of the Week - May 20, 2019: The Abomination That Was Game of Thrones: Season 8, Episode 5
    Jerks of the Week - May 13, 2019: Return to the Poop Gym
    Jerks of the Week - May 6, 2019: Saladworks Weirdos
    Jerks of the Week - April 29, 2019: Taco Hell, 2019
    Jerks of the Week - April 22, 2019: Wedding Ablaze
    Jerks of the Week - April 15, 2019: The Worst Waitress of All Time
    Jerks of the Week - April 8, 2019: AsianDating.com
    Jerks of the Week - April 1, 2019: April Fools and April Truths VII
    Jerks of the Week - March 25, 2019: Hibachi Restaurant Hates Me
    Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2019: Walt Goes to Super Bowl LIII, Part 4
    Jerks of the Week - March 11, 2019: Walt Goes to Super Bowl LIII, Part 3
    Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2019: Walt Goes to Super Bowl LIII, Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2019: Walt Goes to Super Bowl LIII, Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2019: Scott Sports
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2019: Flies in My Salad
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2019: Rat Feces in My Pizza
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2019: Someone Hit on Me at the Gym
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2019: Adventures at the Chinese Buffet
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2019: A Million Little Things
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2019: 2018 Christmas Commercials
    Jerks of the Year - Dec. 31, 2018: The Facebook Beggar
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2018: Dairy Queen and Cold Stone Creamery
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2018: Cat Lady, Thanksgiving Woman and the Shower Hags
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2018: Thomas Middleditch Verizon Commercials (Again)
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2018: Slow and Sucky Subway
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2018: Battle of the Sexes
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 19, 2018: Stories of Bill Cosby, Gym Vacations and Cheesesteaks
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2018: Jerks at the Zombie Circus
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2018: Halloween
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2018: Jerks of the Gym: Where's the Peef?
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2018: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2018, Part 4: My Near-Fight at Cowabunga Bay
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2018: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2018, Part 3: A Serial Killer Bird and Twin Peaks, the Restaurant
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2018: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2018, Part 2: The Mandarin Oriental Pool
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2018: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2018, Part 1: The Philadelphia International Airport
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2018: YouTube Personalities
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2018: Friends from College
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2018: Aladdin on Broadway
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2018: The Beach Weekend Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2018: Jerks of My Honeymoon - Part 6
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2018: Jerks of My Honeymoon - Part 5
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 13, 2018: Jerks of My Honeymoon - Part 4
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2018: Jerks of My Honeymoon - Part 3
    Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2018: Jerks of My Honeymoon - Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2018: Jerks of My Honeymoon - Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2018: Jerks of the First Mall Trip as a Married Couple
    Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2018: Jerks of My Wedding - Part 4
    Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2018: Jerks of My Wedding - Part 3
    Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2018: Jerks of My Wedding - Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2018: Jerks of My Wedding - Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2018: Jerks of My Bachelor Party - Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - June 4, 2018: Jerks of My Bachelor Party - Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2018: The Unhappy Meals
    Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2018: The Countdown, the Pervert and the Woman from Hell
    Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2018: Jerks of Chik-fil-A
    Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2018: Ballad of the Three Wawa Trips
    Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2018: Jerks of Boston Market
    Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2018: A Very S***ty Day
    Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2018: Jerks of the Niece's Birthday Party
    Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2018: The Nearly Forgotten Jerks of My Mom's Birthday
    Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2018: April Fools and April Truths VI
    Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2018: Katy Perry
    Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2018: Tipping Starbucks Cashiers
    Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2018: Mega Jerks at the Gym
    Jerks of the Year - March 5, 2018: Nazi Hot Tub Man
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 26, 2018: Walt Goes to Super Bowl LII, Part 4
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 19, 2018: Walt Goes to Super Bowl LII, Part 3
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 12, 2018: Walt Goes to Super Bowl LII, Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 5, 2018: Walt Goes to Super Bowl LII, Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 29, 2018: Smart Barista, Dumb Comcast Worker and Best Friends
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 22, 2018: Johnny Manziel's Cousin and the Lifesaver Mint Conspiracy
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 15, 2018: Crappy Italian Restaurant
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 8, 2018: Pre-Christmas Jerks
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 1, 2018: The 12 Things I Hate About Christmas
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 25, 2017: The Walnut Grove Township Meeting
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 18, 2017: Hallmark Movies
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 11, 2017: Verizon Guy
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 4, 2017: My Friend Drew, and the Craziest Facebook Conversation Ever
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 27, 2017: Angry, Old Men, and Sara the Starbucks Scumbag
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 20, 2017: More Jerks at the Card Show
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 13, 2017: Goodbye, AIM
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 6, 2017: I Have a Beautiful Figure Again
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 30, 2017: Haunted Attractions
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 23, 2017: Streaming Hipsters and CBS All-Access
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 16, 2017: The Gym Cesspool
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 9, 2017: Hayley Geftman-Gold, Redskins Marching Band Play, Memes Chip Guy
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 2, 2017: Shirtless Hooligans at the Mall
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 25, 2017: On the Road to Margate
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 18, 2017: Jerks of Ocean City, Maryland, 2017. Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 11, 2017: Jerks of Ocean City, Maryland, 2017. Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 4, 2017: Pathetic Jokester, Conspiracy Theorist and Hot Tub A**hole
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 28, 2017: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2017, Part 5: Not Hurricane Harvey, But Apparently Close
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 21, 2017: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2017, Part 4: Expensive and Mysterious Food
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 14, 2017: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2017, Part 3: Stupid Kids and Murderers in Vegas
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 7, 2017: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2017, Part 2: Razor Bombs and the High-Five Heist
    Jerks of the Week - July 31, 2017: Walt Goes to Vegas, 2017, Part 1: Spawns of Satan on the Airplane
    Jerks of the Week - July 24, 2017: The Return to My LA Fitness
    Jerks of the Week - July 17, 2017: The British Invade LA Fitness!
    Jerks of the Week - July 10, 2017: July 4, Bureaucrats and Narcs
    Jerks of the Week - July 3, 2017: Jerks at Sahara Sam's
    Jerks of the Week - June 26, 2017: Unicorns, Cheapskates and Stalkers at Starbucks
    Jerks of the Week - June 19, 2017: Jerks at the June Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - June 12, 2017: The Eighth Day at Best Buy
    Jerks of the Week - June 5, 2017: A Crappy Saturday
    Jerks of the Week - May 29, 2017: Plagiarism Accusations
    Jerks of the Week - May 22, 2017: The Best Buy Trilogy: 2017 Edition
    Jerks of the Week - May 15, 2017: Trouble at Water Aerobics Class
    Jerks of the Week - May 8, 2017: Jerks at the Card Show
    Jerks of the Week - May 1, 2017: Wendy's
    Jerks of the Week - April 24, 2017: Jerk of the Year: Hackers
    Jerks of the Week - April 17, 2017: Pepsi Commercial, McDonald's Commercial, Twitter Blockers
    Jerks of the Week - April 10, 2017: New Marriage, Angry Marriage
    Jerks of the Week - April 3, 2017: April Fools and April Truths V
    Jerks of the Week - March 27, 2017: Get Out and the Death of Macy's
    Jerks of the Week - March 20, 2017: Talking Buses and the Quarter Thief
    Jerks of the Week - March 13, 2017: Baja Fresh and Food Douches
    Jerks of the Week - March 6, 2017: Walt Goes to the Super Bowl, Part 4
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2017: Walt Goes to the Super Bowl, Part 3
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2017: Walt Goes to the Super Bowl, Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2017: Walt Goes to the Super Bowl, Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2017: The Warning, the Weasel and the Weirdo on a Whacky Wednesday
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2017: Tales from the Hot Tub
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2017: Skeletor's Hot Takes
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2017: Walter Goes to Harrisburg, Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2017: Walter Goes to Harrisburg, Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2017: Self-Entitled Douche Bag Kids
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2016: Christmas Shopping
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2016: Relaxation Saturday
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2016: My Best Friend's Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2016: Brain-Dead Saturday, Part 2: The Rocky Horror Picture Show
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2016: Brain-Dead Saturday, Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2016: Cobb Salads and Gym Desk Workers Who Hate Me
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2016: Halloween and the Election
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2016: Grub Burger Bar
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2016: Old Lady Hate, Old Lady Love
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2016: Timeless
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2016: The Vuse Odyssey
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2016: Seven Years
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2016: Tales of the Ailing Foot
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2016: Twelve Girls, Five Boys, $55 Million, and the Future
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2016: Dead Man in My Pool
    Jerk of the Year - Sept. 5, 2016: Colin Kaepernick
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2016: Jerks of Ocean City, Maryland. Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2016: Jerks of Ocean City, Maryland. Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2016: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2016
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 8, 2016: Walt Goes to Vegas 2016, Part 4: Prostitutes and Macaroni and Cheese
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 1, 2016: Walt Goes to Vegas 2016, Part 3: Cowabunga Bay
    Jerks of the Week - July 25, 2016: Walt Goes to Vegas 2016, Part 2: The Blue Man Group and the Spanking
    Jerks of the Week - July 18, 2016: Walt Goes to Vegas 2016, Part 1: Philadelphia International Airport
    Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2016: Jerks of the Birthday Party: Knee to the Balls
    Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2016: Shirtless Fish Tank Man and Facebook Douche
    Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2016: Twitter Social Justice Warriors
    Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2016: Getting Lost and Poisoned
    Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2016: Sad Mushrooms, Lonely Potatoes and Angry Men
    Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2016: Water Aerobics
    Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2016: Bar Conversations
    Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2016: Tales of Five Errands
    Jerks of the Week - May 9, 2016: Adventures at Acme
    Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2016: The Italian Cafe
    Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2016: Toxic Hell, Revisited
    Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2016: Starbucks Sucks
    Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2016: Jerks of Bizarro Rite-Aid
    Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2016: April Fools and April Truths IV
    Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2016: Battle of the Gyms: Old Gym vs. LA Fitness
    Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2016: Random Pictures on My Phone
    Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2016: Meshack and Marco Manilla
    Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2016: Lucifer
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 29, 2016: An Afternoon at McDonald's
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2016: Night at the Spa: My First Massage Ever
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2016: Surprise in a Box, Crazy Woman at the Bank, Dumb Girl at the Spa
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2016: Macaroni's
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2016: McPick 2
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2016: Seeing Star Wars
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2016: Powerball
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2016: December Heat Wave
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2016: The Top Five Jerks of 2015
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2015: Christmas Shopping Without a Baby
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2015: Christmas Shopping with a Baby
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2015: Mad Mex
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 7, 2015: Famous Dave's
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2015: Another Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2015: The Trip to Pennhurst Asylum
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2015: Halloween 2015
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2015: Jerks at My Sister's Wedding - Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2015: Jerks at My Sister's Wedding - Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2015: The Shirtless A**hole Brigade
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2015: Weight Gain and VANDALISM
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2015: Jerks of the Gym Pool
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2015: Papal Visit 2015
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2015: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2015: Second Trip, Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2015: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2015: Second Trip, Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2015: Tubing Down the Delaware: A Near-Death Experience
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2015: Jerks of My Birthday - A Surprise in My Bed!
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2015: Walt Goes to Vegas - Part 5: Slot Machines and Random Vegas Stuff
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2015: Walt Goes to Vegas - Part 4: Sportsbooks, Whore Houses and Michael Jackson
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 17, 2015: Walt Goes to Vegas - Part 3: Vegas Dining Experiences
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2015: Walt Goes to Vegas - Part 2: Mandalay Bay Hotel
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2015: Walt Goes to Vegas - Part 1: The Philadelphia International Airport
    Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2015: Cookies, Chips and Bombs
    Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2015: Stupid People in My Neighborhood
    Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2015: Sherlock Walt, and the Cases of the Scrambled Eggs and Missing Pepsi Bag
    Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2015: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2015: Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2015: Jerks of the Jersey Shore, 2015: Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2015: The Philadelphia Writers' Conference - 2015 Edition
    Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2015: Tales from the Baby Pool
    Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2015: Uzbekistan
    Jerks of the Week - June 1, 2015: Memorial Day Grocery Shopping at Giant
    Jerks of the Week - May 25, 2015: A Tale of Four Neighborhoods: Con Artists, Dog Poop and a Stolen Watch
    Jerks of the Week - May 20, 2015: Roger Goodell
    Jerks of the Week - May 18, 2015: Catching Up on Gym Jerks: Two Abominations, Two Creeps and a Monster
    Jerks of the Week - May 11, 2015: A Racist, a Woman-Beater and a Horse - the Greatest Sports Day Ever
    Jerks of the Week - May 4, 2015: Puppy-Training Classes
    Jerks of the Week - April 27, 2015: Gym Jerks - with Pictures!
    Jerks of the Week - April 20, 2015: It Follows
    Jerks of the Week - April 13, 2015: Bottom Dollar Closes - Part II
    Jerks of the Week - April 6, 2015: Bottom Dollar Closes - Part I
    Jerks of the Week - March 30, 2015: April Fools and April Truths III
    Jerks of the Week - March 23, 2015: The Old Man, the Heroic Man, and the Desperate Man
    Jerks of the Week - March 16, 2015: The News: Predators, Mushrooms, the Weather and the Undead
    Jerks of the Week - March 9, 2015: Valentine's Day Gifts
    Jerks of the Week - March 2, 2015: Disappearing Jerks: the Loser, the Douche, the Hobo and My Food
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 23, 2015: Gym Patrons and Their Mistakes
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 16, 2015: Return to Kyoto - The Japanese Nightmare
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 9, 2015: Jerry Jackson
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 2, 2015: Paranoia, Incest and Near-Death - All at the Gym!
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 26, 2015: Going to the Flyers Game
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 19, 2015: Return to Parx Casino
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 12, 2015: Chris Christie, Clorox, Gay Jokes
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 5, 2015: More Christmas Shopping
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 29, 2014: 2014, Year in Review
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 22, 2014: Jerks of Christmas Shopping, 2014
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 15, 2014: Idiots at the Gym
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 8, 2014: Septa Train Zombies
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 1, 2014: Lifeguard Training Day
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 24, 2014: Too Many Cooks
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 17, 2014: Halloween and Orange Juice
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 10, 2014: Dunkin Donuts
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 3, 2014: Kyoto and Japanese Food
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 27, 2014: Mario Lopez and Lily Adams
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 20, 2014: My Quest for a Lasagna Pan
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 13, 2014: Telling the Truth
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 6, 2014: Birthday Shopping at the Mall
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 29, 2014: Dinners to Go
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 22, 2014: Philadelphia
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 15, 2014: All Waiters Hate Me
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 8, 2014: Befriending Those Who Want to Kill Me
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 1, 2014: Little League World Series, Morning Radio Shows
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 25, 2014: Why True Blood Sucks
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 18, 2014: Selfies and Spammers
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 11, 2014: Shopping for Bras, Dominatrix Items and Stolen Goods
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 4, 2014: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2014
    Jerks of the Week - July 28, 2014: The Tampa Trilogy, 2014: Part 3 - Jerks of the Hotel and Ybor
    Jerks of the Week - July 21, 2014: The Tampa Trilogy, 2014: Part 2 - Jerks of Disney World
    Jerks of the Week - July 14, 2014: The Tampa Trilogy, 2014: Part 1 - Philadelphia International Airport
    Jerks of the Week - July 7, 2014: Dumb Kids, an Old Pervert and a Lunatic
    Jerks of the Week - June 30, 2014: Girl Meets World, Sushi and Soccer
    Jerks of the Week - June 23, 2014: Therapy Pool Abominations
    Jerks of the Week - June 16, 2014: Sprint Framily Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - June 9, 2014: Jerks of the DMV
    Jerks of the Week - June 2, 2014: Five-Year Anniversary: 50 Apologies
    Jerks of the Week - May 26, 2014: Night of the Six Stink Eyes
    Jerks of the Week - May 19, 2014: Internet Idiots III
    Jerks of the Week - May 12, 2014: Hate Mail, Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - May 5, 2014: Hate Mail, Part 1
    Jerks of the Week - April 28, 2014: People Plotting My Death
    Jerks of the Week - April 21, 2014: How I Met My Cell Phone
    Jerks of the Week - April 14, 2014: Bad Omens Monday
    Jerks of the Week - April 7, 2014: Clothes Shopping
    Jerk of the Year - April 1, 2014: How I Met Your Mother Finale
    Jerks of the Week - March 31, 2014: April Fools and April Truths II
    Jerks of the Week - March 24, 2014: Downtown Business Meeting
    Jerks of the Week - March 17, 2014: Jerks of the Old Gym
    Jerks of the Week - March 10, 2014: Winter Olympics
    Jerks of the Week - March 3, 2014: Valentine's Day Commercials 2014
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 24, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 3: The Great Flood
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 17, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 2: Power Outage
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 10, 2014: Week of Hell, Part 1: Stomach Virus
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 3, 2014: Cooking with Me
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 27, 2014: Just Wright
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 20, 2014: People Who Steal From Me
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 13, 2014: Snowed In and Going Insane
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 6, 2014: Christmas Shopping 2013
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 30, 2013: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 23, 2013: Toyotathon Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 16, 2013: My Elliptical - Struggles of a Fat Man
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 9, 2013: Weird Food, Terrible Music and Rude Service
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 2, 2013: AT&T It's Not Complicated Commercials Part 2
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 25, 2013: Pizza Gluttony
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 18, 2013: The Seven Deadly Jerks at Bravo!
    Jerk of the Year - Nov. 11, 2013: Redskins Team Name Controversy
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 4, 2013: Jerk-of-Treaters
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 28, 2013: WalterFootball and the Case of the Kidnapped Granddaughter
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 21, 2013: Jerks of the Mall: Hot Chicks vs. Ugly A**holes
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 14, 2013: Cereal Trilogy
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 7, 2013: Urban Education: Getting Pregnant at 13
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 30, 2013: The Philadelphia Writers' Conference
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 23, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 3: Return of Soulless-Eye Lady
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 16, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 2: Confrontation Friday
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 9, 2013: The Best Buy Trilogy, Part 1: Windows 8 and the Geek Squad
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 2, 2013: Jerks of the WalterFootball.com Forum Party
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 26, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 3: Lots of Hot Chicks
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 19, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 2: Eternal Life
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 12, 2013: Jerks of the Jersey Shore 2013, Part 1: The Drowning Fat Man
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 5, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 4 - The Strange Woman Who Wanted to Give Me Head
    Jerks of the Week - July 29, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 3 - The Serial Killer and the Dance-Bang Girl
    Jerks of the Week - July 22, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 2 - First Beach Day and Two Nights Out
    Jerks of the Week - July 15, 2013: The Tampa Trilogy, Part 1 - Jerks at the Airport
    Jerks of the Week - July 8, 2013: Master Zumba Invitation & Female Stalkers
    Jerks of the Week - July 1, 2013: Jerks of Election Day - Damsel in Distress
    Jerks of the Week - June 24, 2013: Attack of the White Trash Brigade
    Jerks of the Week - June 17, 2013: Emmitt Smith Reviews Game of Thrones and Other Shows
    Jerks of the Week - June 10, 2013: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
    Jerks of the Week - June 3, 2013: The People We Saw at Kenny's
    Jerks of the Week - May 27, 2013: Jerks of the May 18 Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - May 20, 2013: Internet Idiots II
    Jerks of the Week - May 13, 2013: Sunday Shopping
    Jerks of the Week - May 6, 2013: Jerks of the Housewarming Party
    Jerks of the Week - April 29, 2013: Hot Tub Adventures
    Jerks of the Week - April 22, 2013: Jerks of Saladworks
    Jerks of the Week - April 15, 2013: Jerks of New Computer Day
    Jerks of the Week - April 8, 2013: Jerks of Walnut Grove
    Jerks of the Week - April 1, 2013: April Fools and April Truths
    Jerks of the Week - March 25, 2013: It's Not Complicated AT&T Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - March 18, 2013: My Second Stalker, Jerks of the Old Gym Pool & Locker Room
    Jerks of the Week - March 11, 2013: Blizzard of 2013
    Jerks of the Week - March 4, 2013: Jerks of Tulane
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 25, 2013: Jerks of New Orleans
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 18, 2013: Jerks of Philadelphia International Airport
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 11, 2013: Jerks of Bowling Night
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 4, 2013: Jerks of Tango: Where They'll Be in 2020
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 28, 2013: One Final Night at Tango
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 21, 2013: Jerks of My Cousin's Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 14, 2013: Jerks of Christmas Week
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 7, 2013: Christmas Shopping
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 31, 2012: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 24, 2012: Christmas Jewelry Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 17, 2012: Jerks of Black Friday
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 10, 2012: Jerks at Injured Reserve and Man Eaters' Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 3, 2012: Facebook, Taco Bell People, CVS Patrons
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 26, 2012: Jerks of My Neighborhood
    Jerk of the Year - Nov. 19, 2012: It's Thanksgiving by Nicole Westbrook
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 12, 2012: Blonde Kid, Gay Tea Time James, Lisa Turtle, Howard Eskin
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 5, 2012: Hurricane Sandy
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 29, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football Part II
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 22, 2012: Jerks with Awesome Girl Who Loves Football
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 15, 2012: Jeans, Clothes Shopping, And1 Shorts
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 8, 2012: Samsung Galaxy S III, Random Phone Pictures
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 1, 2012: Ten Awesome Laws That Must Be Created
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 24, 2012: Visa Credit Card, LaQuisha, The Replacementender
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 17, 2012: Mosquitoes, Vanilla Extract, Klondike Man
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 10, 2012: Cakes & Art, The Drowned Man, The Matchmaking Process
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 3, 2012: Jerks of the Drunken Weekend
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 27, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part IV
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 20, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part III
    Jerk of the Year - Aug. 13, 2012: The Olympics
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 6, 2012: Jerks of the Vacation
    Jerks of the Week - July 30, 2012: Jerks of the Flight - Live Retro Blog
    Jerks of the Week - July 23, 2012: Jerks of the Bar
    Jerks of the Week - July 16, 2012: Drunkest Guy Ever
    Jerks of the Week - July 9, 2012: Jerks of Toscana
    Jerks of the Week - July 2, 2012: Eggs, The Puker and the Scowler, Deck People
    Jerks of the Week - June 25, 2012: Jerks at Prometheus
    Jerks of the Week - June 18, 2012: The Eight Grievances of June 8
    Jerks of the Week - June 11, 2012: The Four Fat Ladies
    Jerks of the Week - May 28, 2012: Jerks of the Six Graduation Parties
    Jerks of the Week - May 21, 2012: Jerks of St. Stalin's Day
    Jerks of the Week - May 14, 2012: The Adventures of My Beard
    Jerks of the Week - May 7, 2012: Internet Idiots (Woody Paige)
    Jerks of the Week - April 30, 2012: Jerks of Wawa
    Jerks of the Week - April 23, 2012: Old Hag Waitress, Me, Hunger Games Evening
    Jerks of the Week - April 16, 2012: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me
    Jerks of the Week - April 9, 2012: Men at the New Pool, Old Ladies at the New Pool, Freezing Pool
    Jerks of the Week - April 2, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part II
    Jerks of the Week - March 26, 2012: Crappy Commercials Part I
    Jerks of the Week - March 19, 2012: Jerks of St. Patrick's Day
    Jerks of the Week - March 12, 2012: Shoe Bench Man, Bear's Lover, Tanning Tax Man
    Jerks of the Week - March 5, 2012: The Wednesday from Hell
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 27, 2012: Shingles Shenanigan Shemale, Jeremy Lin's Brother, Tango Stalker
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 20, 2012: Valentine's Day Jewelry Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 13, 2012: High Wawa Man, Turkey Veggie Ranch Hoagie, Salad Dressing Aisle
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 6, 2012: Naughty Teacher, Local Hospital, X-Ray Technician
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 30, 2012: Homeless Carriage Woman, Cookie Thieves, Jerks Around the Bush
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 23, 2012: Tango, Mia, Hollywood
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 16, 2012: Hot Tub Etiquette
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 9, 2012: Russian Cleavage Pharmacist, Horny Teens, Soap Scuz Man
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 2, 2012: Jerks of Parx Casino
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 26, 2011: Christmas Jerks of the Mall
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 19, 2011: Jerks of the Bar (Maggio's)
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 12, 2011: Lexus December to Remember Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 5, 2011: Moses Man, Senile Man, Saladworks
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 28, 2011: Jerks of the Bowling Alley, Missing Tooth Man, Indian Restaurant
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 21, 2011: Jerks of the Wedding
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 14, 2011: Jerks of the Halloween Party, Penn State Football Scandal
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 7, 2011: Jerks of the New Gym Pool, Thirty Dollar Man, Man from the Future
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 31, 2011: Barbeque Boy, Vegetable Indian, The Hammer's Mom
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 24, 2011: Jerks of Megatron's Mistress Weekend
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 17, 2011: The Sociopath, No Space Man, Three Old Men
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 10, 2011: Drunkest Woman Ever, Russian Rapist, Half-Norwegian, Half-Korean Bisexual Heritage Month
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 3, 2011: Jerks of the Mall, Lifeguards, Spanish Heritage Month
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 26, 2011: Rite-Aid, CVS, Blind Hick
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 19, 2011: Curly Mustache Lady, Owl Girl, Coffee Queen
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 12, 2011: Whiskey Tango, Racist KKK Bikers, Drunkest Woman Ever
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 5, 2011: Watermelon Woman and Meatball Man, Hurricane Irene, Toure
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 29, 2011: Bubble Bobble, The Black Belt of 2020, Smelly Swim Coach
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 22, 2011: Farim, Josseline, Facebook Morons
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 15, 2011: Birthday Jerks
    Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 8, 2011: Jerks of the Hotel and Restaurants
    Jerks of the Jersey Shore - Aug. 1, 2011: Jerks of the Pool
    Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 25, 2011: Jerks of the Boardwalk
    Jerks of the Jersey Shore - July 18, 2011: Jerks of the Beach
    Jerks of the Week - July 11, 2011: Casey Anthony, Saturday at the Pool, The Spelling Bee
    Jerks of the Week - July 4, 2011: Worst Movie Ever, Fixing Worst Movie Ever, Comcast
    Jerks of the Week - June 27, 2011: Jerks at Dennis' Party, Jerks at Polina's Party, Always Late Man
    Jerks of the Week - June 20, 2011: Sea Captain and Land Blubber, Comcast, E-Trade
    Jerks of the Week - June 13, 2011: Jamie's Party
    Jerks of the Week - June 6, 2011: My Gym, Pool Revolution, Shoe Bench Man
    Jerks of the Week - May 30, 2011: Me, Josh, Ping Pong Pupil
    Jerks of the Week - May 23, 2011: Rapture, Spaghetti, Slav's Swim Buddies
    Jerks of the Week Special - May 23, 2011: Russian Conspiracy
    Jerks of the Week - May 16, 2011: Conspiracy Theorists, Crosswalkers, Russian Mechanics
    Jerk of the Year - May 9, 2011: Rashard Mendenhall
    Jerks of the Week - May 2, 2011: Bottom Dollar Food, Checkup, Osama bin Laden
    Jerks of the Week - April 25, 2011: Nerd No. 2, Baseball Robot, People Offended by Slurs, Angry Black Man Update
    Jerks of the Week - April 18, 2011: Ces' Party, Angry Black Man, Another Angry Black Man
    Jerks of the Week - April 11, 2011: Nerd Kids, Russian Yoda, Lilliput
    Jerks of the Week - April 4, 2011: Twitter Idiots
    Jerks of the Week - March 28, 2011: Hewlett-Packard, Rebecca Black, Crazy Horse Girl
    Jerks of the Week - March 21, 2011: Guess What Kid, Dreams and the Fat Black Man, Dr. Susan Albers
    Jerks of the Week - March 14, 2011: Las Margaritas Host, Movie Theater Soda, Inept Comcast Worker
    Jerks of the Week - March 7, 2011: White Afro Lady, ABC, BYU
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 28, 2011: Friday Night Out, Saturday at the Gym, Sunday at the Gym
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 21, 2011: Farim, Jessica M. and another Facebook Moron, "Racist" Super Bowl Commercial
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 14, 2011: Valentine's Day and Kay Jewelers Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 7, 2011: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, Farim
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 31, 2011: Jerks at the Mall, State of the Union Address, My Night in the Dark
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 24, 2011: George Washington Lady, Humpty and Dumpty, Angry Hockey Man
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 17, 2011: Arizona Shooter, GameCenter People, Off the Map
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 10, 2011: Penn State Prohibition, Graham Cocker Spanier, Drunken Quotes
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 3, 2011: Hate Mailers, Astoria, Us at Astoria
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 27, 2010: Christmas Lexus Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 20, 2010: The Twelve Jerks of Christmas
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 13, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Sports Bra Chick, 35th Anniversary
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 6, 2010: My 10-Year High School Reunion
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 29, 2010: QB Dog Killer Supporters, Canned Laughter, Fancy Schmancy Downtown Places
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 22, 2010: Sucky Subway, Pill Lady, Change Nazi
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 15, 2010: Swipe Card Woman, Angry Hockey Man, Homeless Clown Woman
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 8, 2010: Political Ads, Candy Thieves, Russian Gypsy Neighbors
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 1, 2010: Donation Girl, Gay Nail Guy, Jerks with Awesome Kelly
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 25, 2010: No Space Man, Fat Crosswalk Lady, Facebook Snobs
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 18, 2010: Toasts, Lilliput, Wawa Pirate Man
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 11, 2010: Catina, Gus the Groundhog, Brett Favre's Wrangler Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 4, 2010: The Longest Game of Beer Pong Ever, Fantasy Football Gangsta, Alcohol Thieves
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 27, 2010: Rite Aid and CVS Jerks, QB Nacho E-mailer, Hyper Girl
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 20, 2010: Little Turds on the Road, Angry Street Crosser, Czechoslovakia March
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 13, 2010: BBall Mad Man, BBall DBag/AHole, Whiskey Tango Marriage
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 6, 2010: Buck-Toothed Kid and His Dad, Brad Childress Blowdryer Man, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That Man
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 30, 2010: My Bad Dude, Crappy Fantasy Traders, Larry Johnson
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 23, 2010: The Poop Master, Borat Hater, Pepsi Throwback Nightmare
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 16, 2010: Evil Vietnamese Children, Russian Yoda, Fat Ladies in the Pool
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 9, 2010: Emmitt Smith's Hall of Fame Induction Speech, Brett Favre, Shaving Cream Man
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 2, 2010: Comcast, Best Buy, Six Flags
    Jerks of the Week - July 26, 2010: Why the Phillies Stink This Year (Jayson Werth), B-Ball D-Bag, Swim Lesson Brats
    Jerks of the Week - July 19, 2010: NFLShop.com, Jesse Jackson, Paris
    Jerks of the Week - July 12, 2010: LeBron James, OfficeMax, The Best Football Player Ever
    Jerk of the Year - July 5, 2010: Twilight (Top 10 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks)
    Jerks of the Week - June 28, 2010: Geriatrics at the Gym, Carmen the Customer Service Rep, Samantha the Shift Manager
    Jerks of the Week - June 21, 2010: The Laziest Bum, The Laziest Agent, Josh
    Jerks of the Week - June 14, 2010: Communist Soccer - World Cup Preview, Overreaction to the Intoxicated Toddler, Quit Facebook Day
    Jerks of the Week - June 7, 2010: New Neighbors, ABC, The Near-Perfect Game Aftermath
    Jerks of the Week 1-Year Anniversary - May 31, 2010: Live Wedding Retro Blog
    Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Ending - How It Made Sense
    Jerks of the Week - May 24, 2010: Pepsi YouTube Man, Pepsi, No Space Man
    Jerks of the Week - Special Edition: Lost Finale
    Jerks of the Week - May 17, 2010: West Chester's Athletic Facilities and the Stuck-Up Couple, Crazy Bag Lady, Hot Super Cop, Other Random Graduation Jerks
    Jerks of the Week - May 10, 2010: Lost (Why Aaron is the Man In Black - Long Version)
    Jerks of the Week - May 3, 2010: Pete Carroll, Matt Millen and ESPN, Michael Silver, Todd McShay, No-Life Spammer
    Jerks of the Week - April 26, 2010: Pukemon, NBA Analysts, The Gym Milf's Two Kids
    Jerks of the Week - April 19, 2010: People Who Cry Racist, People Who Cry Stereotype
    Jerks of the Week - April 12, 2010: Music, The Wanderer, Lost Theory: The Flash Sideways
    Jerks of the Week - April 5, 2010: TV Shows, B-Ball D-Bag, Hot Ballet Teachers
    Jerks of the Week - March 29, 2010: Indian Dog Poop Woman, Two Things About the Health Care Bill, Lost Speculation: Man In Black
    Jerks of the Week - March 22, 2010: Russian Mustache Speedo Man, ESPN.com, Lost Theory: Aaron is the Man In Black
    Jerks of the Week - March 15, 2010: Comcast, Phillip and the Fat Flower Lady; Doug Gottlieb and Big Cookie; If I Were President...
    Jerks of the Week - March 8, 2010: Women With No Personality, Women Who Don't Sexually Assault Men, Bad Shower Etiquette
    Jerks of the Week - March 1, 2010: Ice Skating, Two Fat Black Guys, Jacob (Lost)
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 22, 2010: Snow and Fat Kids, City of Philadelphia, Tiger Woods Sympathizers
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 15, 2010: Winter Olympics, Valentine's Day, More Jewelry Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 8, 2010: VBulletin, Hackers, Heroes
    Jerks of the Week - Feb. 1, 2010: Lost (with a Lost Season 6 Preview)
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 25, 2010: PA Wine and Spirits, Punt, Pass and Kick Winners, NFL Play 60 Commercials
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 18, 2010: Cocoa Puffs, Lane Kiffin, Wade Phillips/Nate Kaeding/Me
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 11, 2010: Jewelry Commercials, Specific Jewelry Commercials, Chris Myers
    Jerks of the Week - Jan. 4, 2010: Parx Casino, Buck Hotel Bar Patrons, State Liquor Laws and Mississippi
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 28, 2009: Corrine Brown, Strength of Schedule Man, Ed Block
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 21, 2009: Jerks at the Mall
    Jerks of the Week - Dec. 14, 2009: University of Kansas, Congress Supporters, Communist Kids and Me
    Jerk of the Holidays - Dec. 7, 2009: Tiger Woods
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 30, 2009: Major League Soccer, Bipolar Driver, Goggles Man
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 23, 2009: Chinese Restaurants, Ces, Elena from India
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 16, 2009: Fat Russian Guy, Chefs, Stuck In Time Man
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 9, 2009: Me (Multi-Colored Face Girl), Downtown Philly, Random Jerks at the WalterFootball.com Halloween Party
    Jerks of the Week - Nov. 2, 2009: Community, Urkel Kid, Leaf Man Cock Blocker
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 26, 2009: Oompa Loompa, TV Show DVDs, College Football
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 19, 2009: Having to See Babies, The Rush Limbaugh Controversy, Old Liar/Pervert
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 12, 2009: Restaurants, Gay Portuguese Waiter, Olive Garden
    Jerks of the Week - Oct. 5, 2009: Plagiarizers, ESPN & NBC & Google, Philadelphia Cat Torturers
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 28, 2009: People Who Complain About Racism in Cartoons, My Friend and Me, Me
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 21, 2009: Jimmy Carter and Racism Accusers, Dumb Parents, Me (Misguided Discriminator)
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 14, 2009: Terrelle Pryor, PETA, Subway Patrons
    Jerks of the Week - Sept. 7, 2009: Forum Spammers, Pretentious Italian Restaurants, Bertucci's Waitresses
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 31, 2009: My Gym, Fat Guys in My Fantasy Football Leauge, Philadelphia
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 24, 2009: I'm Not Your Friend Kid, Konami, Mexicans in West Chester
    Jerks of the Year - Aug. 17, 2009: The Philadelphia Eagles
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 10, 2009: Jolly Ranchers, Me (When Ranting About Jolly Ranchers), My Evil Neighbor's Evil Kids
    Jerks of the Week - Aug. 3, 2009: ESPN, Brett Favre, NFL Network, Roger Goodell, New York District Attorney Robert Morgentheau
    Jerks of the Week - July 27, 2009: Party of Eight, Toxic Hell, Little Caesar
    Jerks of the Week - July 20, 2009: Erin Andrews' Voyeur, Allergies, Valley Club Protestors
    Jerks of the Week - July 13, 2009: Jacko's Ghost, Women Who Don't List Their Relationship Status on Facebook, My Evil Neighbor's Kid
    Jerks of the Week - July 6, 2009: Spammers, Old Pervent in Steam Room, Steve McNair's Killer(s)
    Jerks of the Week - June 29, 2009: Google Maps, GPS, Harper's Island Characters
    Jerks of the Week - June 22, 2009: Noisy Kids in My Neighborhood, The Philadelphia Public School System, Shannen Doherty
    Jerks of the Week - June 15, 2009: NBC's Hockey Coverage, NBA Referees and Robot Jackson, Arhymemaster
    Jerks of the Week - June 8, 2009: Mike Brown, David Stern, Indoor Soccer Guys
    Jerks of the Week - May 31, 2009: Confusing E-mail Guy, Barbeques, David Stein




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    2025 NFL Mock Draft - Oct. 30


    NFL Power Rankings - Oct. 28


    Fantasy Football Rankings - Sept. 4