2021 NFL Kickoff Live Blog

My Thoughts During the 2021 NFL Kickoff Live Blog – Live Updates

What is this? I’ll be posting my thoughts during the Chiefs-Texans game here. That will include everything from the actual game, to the TV personalities, to the commercials, etc. Anything goes. This page will be updated every five minutes or so Thursday evening, so I hope you join me for the first real NFL game in seven months. Football’s back.

Feel free to post your thoughts in the comments below.

11:56: I’ll have a game recap soon. Charlie’s 2022 NFL Mock Draft will be updated tomorrow morning. Also, make sure you enter the Survivor Pool (free entry, $350 prize) and the Weekly Fantasy Football Contest.

11:55: And the game is over. The Buccaneers won, but would have covered had they not killed themselves with dumb mistakes, namely the Godwin touchdown drop and his subsequent fumble.

Buccaneers 31, Cowboys 29

11:52: And the kick is good!

11:51: Here comes Ryan Succop to potentially win the game.

11:49: Brady to Godwin for a huge 24-yard gain!

11:46: Mike Evans with another big drop!

11:45: Yeah, Gio Bernard, go, go, go!!!

11:44: And the kick is good! Brady has 1:24. Is he good enough to lead a game-winning drive?

11:43: “What a piece of s**t, Bush’s friend, RINO!” – my dad upon seeing Jerry Jones.

11:42: Or not. Here’s a 47-yard try.

11:41: Huge hold on Connor Williams! Maybe we’ll see if Zuerlein tries a long kick again.

11:35: Wow, a huge gain from Prescott to Lamb to convert a third-and-11.

11:33: Where oh where is this great Tampa pass rush we saw dominate in the playoffs eight months ago?

11:32: It’s insane that Brady looks younger than Prescott in that side-by-side picture.

11:30: Huge hold to negate a long pass to Lamb.

11:29: And just when we had a glimmer of hope for a fumble returned for a touchdown, the pass was ruled incomplete (and correctly so.)

11:25: That sucks. We lost this bet because of these bogus turnovers.

11:24: Woooowww! Chris Godwin fumbles right near the goal line.

11:22: I can already see it coming. Tampa gets a touchdown to get the margin to nine, but the Cowboys kick a field goal to cover.

11:19: Brady throwing on the run like Patrick Mahomes!

11:18: I thought they were making a bad joke with the Gronkowski helicopter catch. That’s crazy.

11:14: And they got that stop. Here comes a punt. Hopefully the Buccaneers don’t drop a pass on this drive.

11:13: Michael Gallup out with an ankle injury. Maybe Tampa will be able to get some stops.

11:08: And Chris Godwin with a killer drop, which would’ve been a touchdown. Ugh.

11:07: Mike Evans with a killer drop.

11:06: Imagine spending the fourth-overall draft pick on Leonard Fournette.

11:05: Is it just me, or was it weird seeing Drew Brees promote a sportsbook? He’s so clean-cut and honest. I never imagined him promoting gambling, though I should say that gambling is not a bad thing!

11:01: Where is Giovani Bernard!?

10:59: Joking aside, Ordinary Joe looks great. I’m just pissed that NBC is probably going to cancel it after four episodes because the TV networks never give anything a chance.

Buccaneers 28, Cowboys 26

10:56: Another touchdown, Prescott to Cooper. Sean Murphy-Bunting was missed there. The pass rush is still nowhere to be seen.

10:53: I’m shocked they didn’t give the Cowboys a first down after that Lamb catch.

10:52: How are the Cowboys getting these first downs? They were a clear yard-plus short twice in a row, yet they were granted first downs.

10:50: Good start to my fantasy team, because I know all of you care:

10:47: “I’ll tell you why I played Ezekiel Elliott at captain. If I didn’t pick him at captain, he would have destroyed Tampa Bay today. So, I sacrificed $10 to win $200,” – my dad

Buccaneers 28, Cowboys 19

10:46: Brady to Gronk touchdown!!!

10:45: Where is Giovani Bernard!?

10:42: Whoops. Instant replay shows that Lamb was responsible for that with a drop.

10:41: Prescott interception! He recklessly threw the ball into heavy traffic, and the pass was deflected into Carlton Davis’ arms.

10:37: “F**king Jerry Jones paid money to these refs! F**k you!” – my dad

10:36: I’m old enough to remember that Steve DeBerg start!

10:33: So, with that new Samsung phone, you can transform into an Asian guy with a lesbian haircut? That would be useful unless you’re applying to Harvard.

Buccaneers 21, Cowboys 19

10:31: Huge play by Andrew Adams to stop Ezekiel Elliott to force the field goal. Nice job to bounce back from that nonsense PI.

10:27: There have been way too many horse-s**t pass interferences called in this game.

10:25: Another third-down shot to Cooper, followed by a deflection that was almost picked. If Brady threw that, it would’ve been intercepted.

10:24: Big third-down conversion by Prescott as he was getting crushed.

10:22: Another injury for Tampa’s secondary. Not good.

10:20: That was a quick halftime. Let’s hope the Buccaneers get as much turnover luck as the Cowboys did in the first half.

10:15: Good for Simon Cowell to upgrade Paula Abdul to the woman from that ABC show about the three families.

10:12: Thank goodness there’s no musical act during halftime. I thought they were going to have Goodell’s son sing again for some reason.

10:05: Ugh, an interception on the Hail Mary. More lost money for me on DraftKings!

10:04: Where did Tampa’s timeout go?

10:03: A 60-yard field goal? Really? Derp!

10:02: I don’t know why the Buccaneers didn’t call timeout. They’d have a minute remaining. Now, the Cowboys will be getting the ball first in the third quarter to potentially take the lead.

9:59: Finally, a sack! Shaq Barrett. The Buccaneers should be calling a timeout though.

9:58: The Buccaneers have two guys named Joe Tryon and Tryon Shiyonka? Weird.

9:56: “Jerry Jones is paying money! I guarantee it!” – my dad

9:55: What a great face mask call. Best face mask call ever!

9:50: And to think, Brown was going way after Mike Evans and Godwin in fantasy drafts.

Buccaneers 21, Cowboys 16

9:48: Brady bomb touchdown to Antonio Brown!

9:47: Why was Anthony Fauci sandwiched between Brady and Bill Russell?

Cowboys 16, Buccaneers 14

9:45: The kick is good this time.

9:44: Prescott nearly throws another interception. All of the turnover luck is on Dallas’ side.

9:43: With that Brady interception, I went from winning $655 on DraftKings to just $35. Feels great!

9:42: And now Leonard Fournette f**ks up! Fournette’s drop turns into an interception. Where is Giovani Bernard!?!?

9:40: I’m buying milk on the drive home, and I expect to see Tampa’s pass rush on the carton.

Buccaneers 14, Cowboys 13

9:39: Missed extra point!

9:38: Touchdown, Cowboys! They take advantage of Ronald Jones’ ineptitude with a Prescott touchdown to Amari Cooper.

9:35: My mom just joined us. “Are the Patriots winning?” she asked.

9:33: Ronald Jones fumbles! Stripped by DeMarcus Lawrence.

9:32: I hate seeing these car commercials. I wouldn’t buy anything new because of the new spying technology. I’m going to be like Commander Adama with my old vehicles.

9:31: Greg Zuerlein almost hit the field goal! No good!

9:30: Almost an interception on a throw to the end zone! Carlton Davis with a drop.

9:29: The Buccaneers can’t get anyone close to Prescott. This is ridiculous.

9:27: “Jerry Jones paid money to the referees!” – my dad

9:26: I’m not sure why you would challenge a 6-yard play anyway.

9:22: Prescott definitely looks great, but where is Tampa’s pass rush?

9:19: I hate Law & Order. I never knew why, but then I realized that I’m always rooting for the criminals, and they never win.

Buccaneers 14, Cowboys 7

9:17: Touchdown Buccaneers! Brady to Gronkowski!

9:16: Every time I hear Chris Godwin, I almost think it’s Chris Goblin. I like Goblin better, but Godwin Rabblemaster has a certain ring to it.

9:15: 100-percent sincere.

9:14: Oh God, taunting. Thanks for stopping the game for that crap.

9:11: Buffalo Wild Wings should probably stop advertising until they have wings available.

9:10: SOFI! Yeah! Buy SOFI shares, along with AMC, GME, CLOV and BBIG.

9:09: Based on those pictures at the parking lot party, I’d rather be there than at the game.

9:06: How have the Buccaneers not gotten to Prescott yet with Zack Martin out?

9:04: I can’t believe the Buccaneers didn’t go for it. Loser move to punt it (sincere).

9:03: Ordinary Joe coming to NBC in September, will be canceled in October.

9:02: I wonder if the Buccaneers will go for it on fourth-and-5 over midfield. I would.

9:01: These Tom Brady commercials are awesome (sincere). They’re all great.

8:59: Let’s see some Giovani Bernard. He would’ve caught that!

8:56: Wow, Roger Goodell’s son shares his hair color, but has so many tattoos on his arm.

Buccaneers 7, Cowboys 7

8:55: La Brea, the next NBC show to get canceled after five episodes because TV networks never give anything a chance.

8:54: I’m sure all of you care, but I have Lamb in all four of my DraftKings lineups tonight. Go me!

8:52: The Cowboys just ran right down the field to score a touchdown. Sean Murphy-Bunting injured. Touchdown, CeeDee Lamb.

8:46: “But you don’t eat bread.” Buhahahahaha! Sincere laughter from that Tom Brady Subway commercial.

8:45: Is this “Breland” fellow really a platinum artist? I’ve never heard of him, unless he is Bashaud Breeland.

Buccaneers 7, Cowboys 0

8:43: Touchdown, Brady to Chris Godwin!

8:42: “I can’t wait to watch Walking Dead after this game.” – my dad, who is apparently the only person on Earth who still thinks Walking Dead is a good show.

8:41: Great fade pass to Antonio Brown. The Buccaneers look like IMG now.

8:40: Dan Quinn seems like a great hire for the Cowboys. See, what I mean about the sarcastic button always being on?

8:37: Nice Baker Mayfield commercial, and I’m not saying that sarcastically. I feel like I need to tell you when I’m sincere because the sarcastic button is always on.

8:34: My dad just asked if Nelson Agholor is still on the Raiders. I told him the Patriots signed him to a big contract this offseason. His reaction: “Why? They think he’s good?”

8:33: CeeDee Lamb with a key drop, preventing a third-and-short opportunity.

8:32: The Cowboys look like IMG beating up on Bishop Sycamore right now.

8:31: For the record, I got de-vaccinated a couple of weeks ago, but not that anyone cares.

8:29: So much for that field position. Amari Cooper with a 28-yard reception.

8:28: Coffin corner punt! Just like you do it in Madden!

8:27: Buccaneers go three-and-out. They suck!

8:26: Why was that woman in the stands wearing a mask over her nose and mouth, but not her eyes? You can get the virus just as easily through your eyes. This is why I wore a mask over my eyes the entire time prior to vaccination, even when driving a car.

8:24: Football is officially back! Yeah!

8:23: “The woman who sang the national anthem sounds like a woman yelling ‘occupied’ in the bathroom.” – my dad. I’m not sure what this means.

8:21: It’s insane that 20 years have passed since 9/11. Next fall, there will be people at bars who weren’t born when 9/11 happened. That’s mind-boggling.

8:18: If these people in the Geico commercial have a house that’s basically an airport, why aren’t they told to wear masks there? I didn’t comply when I flew to Las Vegas, but if I did, I would’ve worn a mask on my chin because that’s what my doctor told me to do.

8:16: Cris Collinsworth is a fan of the Cowboys because of Dak Prescott’s stats, yet neglected to mention how horrible they were last year when Prescott played.

8:14: If the Buccaneers only win the Super Bowl when there are only zeroes and twos, they’ll win in 2022, but then they won’t win another Super Bowl until the year 2200.

8:10: Did Tony Dungy just admit to having breakfast with Mike McCarthy? Who wants to have breakfast with Mike McCarthy? If I were to rank people I’d want to have breakfast with in this country, he’d probably be third or fourth from the bottom, probably above the meth head who lives two blocks down from my parents’ house.

8:08: Where is the “K” in Jac Collinsworth’s name? I thought letters were supposed to be silent in the English language; not invisibile!

8:06: I’m willing to bet Drew Brees returns to an NFL team with an injured quarterback late in the year if he’s asked.

8:04: Speaking of my dad, he just made a DraftKings lineup. Ezekiel Elliott is his captain. His reasoning: “I hate Elliott, so I’m putting him at captain.” I wouldn’t advise anyone to utilize this strategy.

8:02: “Walt, if you weren’t here, I wouldn’t watch this game.”

8:01: My dad just muted the nonsense on TV and told me a story: “I was at the bank yesterday, and the teller was so slow. I had to take a s**t, but I couldn’t go anywhere because I needed to deposit a check before the bank closed. I farted, and I s**t my accident, so I was just standing there with s**t in my pants the entire time.

7:59: I went to my parents’ house to watch this game with my dad. He doesn’t even want to watch this game.

7:58: My final thoughts on this game are up on my NFL Picks page. I wish La’el Collins were out to give us a big play on the Buccaneers.

7:57: Just as I did with the NBA Draft live blog, I’m going to post the newest comments at the top, per request. Hopefully this doesn’t confuse too many people as much as it’s confusing me right now.

7:55: And we’re underway! This is the first real football game in seven months. The preseason obviously doesn’t mean anything, especially with many teams not playing their starters at all.