2025 NFL Picks – Week 1: Vikings at Bears

The Matchup. Edge: Vikings.

This week on ESPN, we’re going to have awful announcers calling the shots instead the great preseason homers like Kevin Reilly, Ron Wolfley and Don Tollefson, inept ESPN guys Emmitt, Herman Edwards, and aloof people like Jay Cutler. Here’s what it would sound like if some of these dudes (and some special guests) were calling this game:

Reilly: Welcome to the city of Chicago, where the Minnesota Twins will take on the Chicago Bulls. Guys, I have to be frank with you. I don’t really care about this game. I tried to get Roger Goodell to make my Philadelphia Eagles play on Monday so I could broadcast the game, but Roger Goodell is a looser who hates my Philadelphia Eagles. That’s why I hired that guy to come after him in the NFL headquarters, but that idiot went to the wrong floor. I used up all my allowance money, so now I can’t stop Goodell.

Emmitt: Thanks, Frank. I thoughted your name was Kevin Reilly, but you says that your name Frank, so it like the old saying go, you learn somethin new every year.

Reilly: Emmitt, that’s not what I meant at all. It’s just an expression. My name isn’t actually Frank.

Tollefson: Reilly, you know, I think that Emmitt Johnson guy might be on to something. I think you need a name makeover. “Kevin Reilly” has the stench of a man who lives with his mother all over him. Now, if you can become Frank, wow, wow, WOW, talk about a hunk! This guy can smoothly come up to any lady in the bar and take her home with him. After using a roofie or chloroform, of course.

Reilly: Tolly, don’t be a fool. There’s no way Mother will let me bring a woman home with me. I also don’t have enough allowance money remaining to buy chloroform either. But now it’s time to go down to the sidelines with our sideline reporter, Clarissa Thomas.

Charissa Thompson: Thanks, Frank. I’m the first to report that Walter Payton will be coming out of retirement to play in this game against the Minnesota Twins. Back to you, Frank.

Reilly: This is stupid. First of all, my name is not Frank! And second, I’ve never heard of this Walter Patron guy, so who cares if he plays? I want to discuss my Philadelphia Eagles! To do that, we’ve brought in two new analysts this year. The first is Lindsey OK. I would ask her a question, but I need a translator because Mother told me that I can’t talk to girls.

Lindsey OK: It’s OK, Frank, I heard your question, so I can answer it, but first, let me say how much of an honor it is to be on this broadcast because I’ve been reading- I mean watching it for so long. It’s just another step in my journey as a football analyst, as I try my hardest to overcome all the stereotypes directed at me. Do you know how many people have told me that I’ll never make it in the industry because I’m a woman? It says a lot about me that I’ve been able to overcome all of these hurdles to reach the pinnacle of my career to date, which is to join this broadcast on a full-time basis. So, to answer your question, let me first talk more about how hard it has been to overcome the hurdles of being a woman in this industry.

Reilly: Well, she didn’t answer the question, so let’s go with our second analyst, Mina Kleins. I also need a translator here because I am not allowed to speak to women.

Mina Kimes: It’s OK, Frank, I heard your question, so I can answer it, but first, let me say how much of an honor it is to be on this broadcast because I’ve been reading- I mean watching it for so long. It’s just another step in my journey as a football analyst, as I try my hardest to overcome all the stereotypes directed at me. Do you know how many people have told me that I’ll never make it in the industry because I’m both a woman and an Asian? It says a lot about me that I’ve been able to overcome all of these hurdles to reach the pinnacle of my career to date, which is to join this broadcast on a full-time basis. So, to answer your question, let me first talk more about how hard it has been to overcome the hurdles of being a woman and being an Asian in this industry.

Reilly: What is an Asian?

Tollefson: Are you kidding me, Reilly? Asians are people on the continent of Asia. It’s a magical place where women are submissive, and you don’t even need roofies or chloroform to turn women into sex slaves.

Reilly: Sounds icky, but I don’t believe you. Mother said in my home school class the other day that there is only one continent: America. New Daddy, you were in class that day. Tell ’em, New Daddy!

Jay Cutler: I dunno, Frank.

Reilly: MY NAME IS NOT FRANK! STOP CALLING ME FRANK! I SAID TO BE FRANK! I DIDN’T SAY MY NAME IS FRANK!

Charles Davis: Frank, let’s talk about famous Franks, Frank. There’s Frank Thomas, Frank. What do you think about Frank Sinatra, Frank? Don’t forget about Frank Langella, Frank. We can talk about Frank Abagnale, Frank. State your opinion on Frank Capra, Frank. Have you considered Frank Ocean, Frank? How about Frank Lloyd Wright, Frank? We’ll now transition to Frank Zappa, Frank. Let’s not dismiss Anne Frank, Frank. And not included in this is Frank “Kevin” Reilly, Frank, not because his name isn’t Frank, but because he’s not cool enough to be famous, Frank.

Reilly: F**K YOU, CHARLES DAVIS! OR SHOULD I SAY FRANK DAVIS!? HOW DOES IT FEEL FRANK DAVIS!? HA, GUESS I HAD THE LAST LAUGH, FRANK DAVIS! We’ll be back after this!

CHICAGO OFFENSE: The Bears were supposed to have an electric offense last year. That’s what we were told when Caleb Williams was drafted. Williams had the best supporting cast ever for a No. 1 overall pick, they said. Well, while Williams had some great games as a rookie, he had far more poor performances, particularly at the ends of the Detroit and Seattle games when he froze as time was ticking off the clock. Williams also had some major problems holding on to the ball for too long, resulting in a high number of sacks.

Enter, Ben Johnson. The former Lions coordinator was considered the crown jewel of the coaching circuit, and he should be able to help Williams improve. Williams will need a Johnson boost in this game because he’ll be going up against a defensive mastermind in Brian Flores, who was able to confuse Williams in two matchups last year. The thing is, it’s unclear if Johnson will help Williams that much right away. Something like this may take time, even with the improvements the Bears made to their offensive line.

If, however, Johnson enhances Williams immediately, the Bears will have an opportunity to score some points. Williams will have plenty of talented weapons at his disposal, including Rome Odunze, whom I believe will make a big leap in 2025. I’m not completely sold on the Vikings’ secondary, so there should be an opportunity for the Bears to score some points.

MINNESOTA OFFENSE: The Bears aren’t the only team that made big upgrades to the offensive line this offseason. The Vikings signed Ryan Kelly and Will Fries away from the Colts and then used a first-round pick on Donovan Jackson. They’ll be able to push the Bears around in the trenches, given that Chicago’s defensive line is mostly lackluster.

The Bears also have an issue in the secondary, with top cornerback Jaylon Johnson nursing an injury. Johnson may play in this game, but he might not be 100 percent. If he’s operating at less than full strength, that’ll be a huge issue because Johnson will be tasked to cover Justin Jefferson. Jordan Addison is suspended, but the Vikings have T.J. Hockenson at full strength, as well as Adam Thielen to provide a boost in the slot.

The question everyone’s wondering is if J.J. McCarthy will be able to get the ball to Jefferson and the others. Well, we had similar questions at this time last year with Sam Darnold. Kevin O’Connell is a brilliant offensive coach, and he’s been able to get the most out of any quarterback he’s coached, whether it’s Darnold, or Nick Mullens, or Joshua Dobbs. Even Kirk Cousins had his best year under O’Connell. I’m quite comfortable in backing McCarthy, who was the 10th-overall pick in a loaded draft class.

RECAP: The Vikings are one of three playoff teams from a year ago to turn a weakness into a strength. Minnesota had poor interior blocking, which was the reason why it couldn’t generate any offense in the playoff loss to the Rams. The front office took note of this and signed two talented free agent linemen and used a first-round pick on a guard. When his team drafted this guard, O’Connell called him and asked, “How would you like to join the best offensive line in the NFL?”

The Bears also made big improvements to their offensive line, but blocking wasn’t an issue at times last year. Caleb Williams took a massive number of sacks because he held on to the ball too long in the pocket. I’d be worried about this heading into 2025 if the Bears didn’t hire Ben Johnson. It remains to be seen if Johnson was able to repair Williams, but something like that may take some time.

Johnson could become a great coach, but we already know that O’Connell is one. O’Connell has a strong track record in Week 1 as an NFL head coach, while Johnson will be coaching in his first game, so I like the Vikings in this Monday night affair. The Vikings also happen to be the better team, and yet we have to lay only 1.5 with them, which seems like a bargain.

THURSDAY THOUGHTS: I still like the Vikings, but Andy Iskoe made a compelling case for the Bears on our Tuesday show:

WEEKLY PROP: I’m betting any quarterback to throw for 450-plus yards in a single game at +1600 on FanDuel. This occurred three times last year, and one hitting effectively pays for the whole year. You can Get $200 in bonus bets from FanDuel by clicking the link.

SATURDAY NOTES: There was some concern when Christian Darrisaw missed Thursday’s practice, but he was full on Friday, so he should be fine. The most prominent player who will miss this game, outside of Jordan Addison, could be Bears linebacker T.J. Edwards, who hasn’t practiced yet because of a hamstring.

The Motivation. Edge: None.

No edge found.

The Spread. Edge: Vikings.

WalterFootball.com Calculated Spread: Vikings -3.

Westgate Advance Point Spread: N/A.

Computer Model: Bears -1.

The Vegas. Edge: Vikings.

Equal action.

Percentage of money on Minnesota: 52% (39,000 bets)

The Trends. Edge: Vikings.

History: Vikings won 7 of the last 8 meetings.

Opening Line: Vikings -1.5.

Opening Total: 45.5.

Weather: Partly cloudy, 65 degrees. Light wind.