2025 NFL Picks – Week 6: Bears at Redskins

The Matchup. Edge: Redskins.

This week on ESPN, we’re going to have awful announcers calling the shots instead the great preseason homers like Kevin Reilly, Ron Wolfley and Don Tollefson, inept ESPN guys Emmitt, Herman Edwards, and aloof people like Jay Cutler. Here’s what it would sound like if some of these dudes (and some special guests) were calling this game:

Reilly: Welcome to the city of Washington, home of the Washington Foreskins who get to battle the Chicago Tigers tonight. Washington’s team is actually not the Foreskins, but that’s what people call the Redskins. Foreskins, Foreskins, ha! You suck, Foreskins! Much worse than my Philadelphia Eagles! You’d have to be conned to like this stupid Foreskin team!

Emmitt: Thanks, Conrad. I does not understand the Foreskin joke. Is it because the guy have four skin? Four skin a lot of skin, much bigger than one skin or two skin or eight skin. This alphabet number eight remind me of a great joke I once hear. Guys, why was six afraid of seven? Because eight nine 10. I hear somebody telleded this joke and everyone laugh, and now I make my attempt but none of you laughing, so I not going to quit my Dave job to become a comedy.

Reilly: Emmitt, to be honest, I don’t understand the Foreskins joke either, so I’m glad you said something about it. It must be something sophisticated that very smart people can understand. Mother says I’m a very smart boy, but I think she’s overestimating my abilities only because I’m doing so well in her homeschool classes.

Tollefson: Reilly, Foreskins is a juvenile joke. I don’t have time for jokes, anyway. Kidnapping women to cook and clean for me is no laughing matter. If you don’t believe me, I did some stand-up for the women I have locked in my cellar. I had my best material. I worked on it for months. And yet, not even a chuckle. I’m beginning to think that women locked in captivity don’t understand comedy!

Reilly: Tolly, Mother says that comedy is the devil, so that could be the reason why your female prisoners are’t laughing at your great jokes. Speaking of female prisoners, let’s go down to the field to hear from Clarissa Thomas, who has the latest report from tonight’s game, which no one cares about.

Charissa Thompson: Thanks, Matt. That’s absolutely right, tonight’s matchup comes down to the play of Joe Theismann, who is a young quarterback who has shown a lot of potential and has really given the team a jolt of energy. But I must say guys, if I were held captive, I would love a stand-up act.

Reilly: Guys, guys, guys, this is not a time for laugher. Don’t you remember what happened last week? Matt Millen’s kielbasa got shot in the neck, and now Matt Millen can’t insert kielbasas up his 100-percent USDA Men’s backside. Matt used to work with us, but now he has a greater mission in life. He’s going to overtake his own kielbasas’ duties, so he’s going to insert himself into the backsides of his 100-percent USDA Men. Mina Kimes, you were hired for your great analysis, so what do you think about this matter?

Mina Kimes: I think this is yet another instance of me being oppressed because I’m an Asian female analyst. It doesn’t matter how many great takes I can give, like the one time I said that Geno Smith is a top-one quarterback. It doesn’t matter because people will never take me seriously because I am both female and Asian. And if I were a cis white male, I would have been asked to replace Matt Millen’s kielbasa, but as a female Asian NFL analyst, no one even asked me if I wanted to take over for Matt Millen’s kielbasa. Why didn’t anyone ask me if I wanted to take over for Matt Millen’s kielbasa!? It’s because I’m a female Asian NFL analyst, and people don’t appreciate diversity!

Reilly: You really want to be a male-on-male sexual toy? Is this how you feel as well, Sarah Spain?

Sarah Spain: NO, SOMEONE ACTUALLY ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO BECOME MATT MILLEN’S KIELBASAS BECAUSE THEY THOUGHT I WAS A DILDO. WHY DID PEOPLE THINK I WAS A DILDO!? BECAUSE I’M A FEMALE SPORTS ANALYST!

Reilly: Guys, I mean, girls, we have a letter from the assassin Colterbean’s boyfriend Winterbloom. Let’s see what he has to say.

Winterbloom: My name is Winterbloom, and I am the boyfriend of Colterbean, the assassin who struck Matt Millen’s kielbasa in the neck. I want everyone to know that I had no idea that it would happen even though it seems unreasonable for me not to know at all about it, and I need everyone to know that I am a biological Cowboys fan who now identifies as Eagles fan, and-

Reilly: WHAT!?!? YOU CAN’T CHANGE YOUR FANHOOD TO EAGLES FAN!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? YOU’RE EITHER BORN AN EAGLES FAN OR NOT! YOU’RE A TOTAL FRAUD! YOU CAN’T CHANGE YOUR FANHOOD! NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN ABLE TO CHANGE THEIR FANHOOD! NEW DADDY, TELL WINTERBOMB THAT HE CAN’T CHANGE HIS FANHOOD! ARREST WINTERBOMB FOR ME, NEW DADDY!

Jay Cutler: Hey man, don’t tie me to your transfanphobia. I don’t wanna get shot.

Mina Kimes: Kevin Reilly is a transfansphobe!? No wonder I’m so oppressed! I’m working with an oppressor!

Sarah Spain: OMG HE’S A TRANSFANSPHOBE REEEEEEEE!!!

Tollefson: Reilly, look what you did. You ignited the crazies. Leave me out of this, too, because I don’t want to get shot either. I have way too many women to kidnap to get shot.

Reilly: Oh no, what if I get shot!? What if some transfan is going to steal my Nick Foles bobblehead collection!?

Charles Davis: Kevin, let’s talk about shootings involving transfans, Kevin. Actually, this is a bad subject, Kevin, so let’s just stick to one event, Kevin, which is Kevin’s impending assassination, Kevin.

Reilly: No! I didn’t say it! Charles Davis said it! Charles Davis hates transfans! Shoot him, not me! We’ll be back right after this!

WASHINGTON OFFENSE: So much for Jayden Daniels being rusty. I thought Daniels wouldn’t perform up to his abilities in his first game back from his 2-week knee-related absence, but after a slow first quarter, he caught fire and was excellent against the highly ranked Chargers defense.

Daniels should be even better this week. The Bears have many issues with their defense. They have injuries in their back seven, while their front line has logged a laughable 44 pressures through four games. Daniels will have all the time in the world he’ll need to connect with Deebo Samuel and perhaps Terry McLaurin.

Another issue the Bears have is that they can’t stop the run at all. Ashton Jeanty had his best game by far against the Bears, so that gives Jacory Croskey-Merritt a bullish outlook. Croskey-Merritt had been a disappointment entering Week 5, but he exploded versus the Chargers. That momentum figures to continue against the defensively inept Bears.

CHICAGO OFFENSE: The Bears had issues with their offense to start the season, but they overcame those after their blowout loss to the Lions. They had an offensive explosion against the Cowboys and then moved the chains effectively versus the Raiders. Things could be better following the bye.

However, the strength of opposition must be factored into Chicago’s projections. The Bears thrived against the Cowboys and Raiders, two of the worst defenses in the NFL. The Redskins are solid defensively, as we saw this past Sunday when they put the clamps on the Chargers after the opening quarter.

The Redskins stop the run well, so they won’t have much of an issue containing D’Andre Swift. We know how much Ben Johnson values running the ball, so if he can’t utilize his rushing attack, that’ll make things difficult for Caleb Williams, who is prone to committing mistakes and holding the ball too long in the pocket. The Redskins get a decent amount of pressure on the quarterback, as Justin Herbert and his offensive line just learned, so Williams could be taken down on several occasions.

RECAP: We had a tight defensive battle between these teams last year, which ended in Jayden Daniels’ iconic Hail Mary. I don’t think we’re going to get the same sort of tight contest again. Daniels was not 100 percent in that game, while the Bears have made offensive improvements without addressing their defense very much.

With Daniels now at full strength, he’ll be able to score enough on the Bears to win and cover. Meanwhile, I don’t have enough faith in Chicago just yet to show enough improvement against non-inept defenses. The Redskins obviously have a much better stop unit than the Raiders and Cowboys.

I’m going to side with the Redskins. I’m not sure if I’ll have any money on them because they’re not in an amazing spot coming off a win on a cross-country road trip, but maybe I’ll talk myself into a unit or two.

THURSDAY THOUGHTS: I may decide to bet the Redskins. The Bears are a very fluky 2-2 right now, so I don’t think this spread represents the disparity between the two teams.

SATURDAY NOTES: It doesn’t look like the Redskins will be getting Terry McLaurin back from injury, but it seems as though Sam Cosmi has a good chance to return because he’s practicing fully.

SUNDAY MORNING NOTES: It looks like some sharp money may be coming in on the Bears. Perhaps that’s because Sam Cosmi won’t be available.

FINAL THOUGHTS: There are no injury surprises in this game. The sharps are once again on the home team, so it’s good to be on the same side as the pros in both games. The best line is -5.5 -105 at BetMGM.

The Motivation. Edge: None.

No edge found.

The Spread. Edge: None.

WalterFootball.com Calculated Spread: Redskins -5.5.

Westgate Advance Point Spread: Redskins -4.5.

Computer Model: Redskins -6.

The Vegas. Edge: Redskins.

Equal action.

Percentage of money on Chicago: 54% (36,000 bets)

The Trends. Edge: Redskins.

Redskins are 15-28 ATS as home favorites of more than 4 since 2000.

Redskins are 1-18 ATS in Monday Night Football home games since 1998.

Opening Line: Redskins -4.5.

Opening Total: 49.5.

Weather: Chance of rain, 59 degrees. Mild wind, 14 mph.