Humor

Jerks of the Week: June 5, 2017 Jerks of the Week: A Crappy Saturday Before I get to why a recent Saturday of mine was so crappy, I must tell you about a crappy person my friend Body Burner told me about when he called me the previous day. The following italicized words are what…

Jerks of the Week: May 29, 2017 Jerks of the Week: Plagiarism Accusations I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “my phone is blowing up.” I certainly have, but I’ve never said it. Prior to a recent Monday, my phone had never blown up; not in the figurative sense, nor in Ceelo Green-type fashion. I’m being…

Jerks of the Week: May 15, 2017 Trouble at Water Aerobics Class I’ve touched on the water aerobics class at my gym on a couple of occasions. The first time I mentioned it, I was pissed because I had to wait for the class to finish before I could go swimming. I noted how most…

Jerks of the Week: May 22, 2017 The Best Buy Trilogy: 2017 Edition I sat next to a lumberjack at Best Buy. I kid you not. Well, he at least looked like a lumberjack. He was a grizzled man in his 60s with a scruffy white beard. He wore a red-and-black flannel shirt, jeans and…

Jerks of the Week: May 8, 2017 Jerks at the Card Show I’ve written about Neshaminy Mall countless times in Jerks of the Week. The mall, which is pretty much around the corner from my house, features countless weirdos, skanky 13-year-old girls who flirt with anyone with a pair of lungs, and workers who try…

Jerks of the Week: May 1, 2017 Jerk of the Week: Wendy’s I used to think the dumbest people on the planet were Starbucks-drinking protestors, but I have since changed my mind. They are still incredibly worthless, but they are at least better than people at Wal-Mart. I never used to go to Wal-Mart because…

Jerks of the Week: April 24, 2017 Jerk of the Year: Hackers I had a nice Jerks of the Week entry prepared for your reading pleasure today. Scratch that. It was a Jerk of the Year entry. It was written about perhaps the dumbest person I’ve ever met, and the actual Jerk of the Year…

Jerks of the Week: April 17, 2017 JERK OF THE WEEK: Pepsi Commercial, McDonald’s Commercial, Twitter Blockers When I tell people I don’t drink coffee at all, they look at me like I have five heads. Not two heads, as that would be super normal compared to not drinking coffee, apparently. I hate coffee. I…

Jerks of the Week: April 10, 2017 JERK OF THE WEEK: New Marriage, Angry Marriage For those of you who don’t follow my football content and only come in for Jerks of the Week, I need to preface this entry by pointing out that the middle of March is an insanely busy time for me….

Jerks of the Week: April 3, 2017 JERK OF THE WEEK: April Fools and April Truths V I can’t imagine most people feel this way, but I liked getting yelled at by superiors. It always made me work harder to appease them. For instance, I had a teacher for three years in high school who…