Humor

Jerks of the Week: Nov. 20, 2017 Jerks of the Week: More Jerks at the Card Show The last time I went to the card show at Neshaminy Mall, I was accused of stealing money some guy dropped, despite trying to give the cash back to him. This did not prevent me from going to…

Jerks of the Week: Nov. 13, 2017 Jerks of the Week: Goodbye, AIM I stopped into Wawa to buy milk and a brownie recently. You might be wondering, Why the “and a brownie?” and I would answer, why the f*** not? Brownies are just as essential to life as milk is. I read this online…

Jerks of the Week: Nov. 6, 2017 Jerks of the Week: I Have a Beautiful Figure Again I often call myself fat in these Jerks of the Week entries. I’m not obese, or anything, but I definitely do consider myself overweight. And I’m not alone in this. Several years ago, my uncle called me “fat.”…

Jerks of the Week: Oct. 23, 2017 Jerks of the Week: Streaming Hipsters and CBS All-Access I never thought I’d like Star Trek in any form when I was a pre-teen. I was too cool for it, after all. I listened to rap music and had lots of CDs. I wore football jerseys with matching-colored…

Jerks of the Week: Oct. 30, 2017 Jerks of the Week: Haunted Attractions I used to hang out with a group of people I no longer talk to when I was in my early 20s. One Halloween, they thought it would be a great idea to go to some sort of haunted bridge. Friend 1:…

Jerks of the Week: Oct. 9, 2017 Jerks of the Week: Hayley Geftman-Gold, Redskins Marching Band Play, Memes Chip Guy I was asked by several people if I planned on making the Las Vegas shooter the Jerk of the Year. My response to everyone who asked was no. Jerks are generally people who either do…

Jerks of the Week: Oct. 9, 2017 Jerks of the Week: Hayley Geftman-Gold, Redskins Marching Band Play, Memes Chip Guy I was asked by several people if I planned on making the Las Vegas shooter the Jerk of the Year. My response to everyone who asked was no. Jerks are generally people who either do…

Jerks of the Week: Oct. 16, 2017 Jerks of the Week: The Gym Cesspool Losing weight is hard. I made it known several entries ago that my fiancee and I have made a pact to lose 15-20 pounds each by our wedding in May. I was down about 10 pounds or so from my post-Las…

Jerks of the Week: Oct. 2, 2017 Jerks of the Week: Shirtless Hooligans at the Mall My Sundays in the fall are obviously incredibly busy. I wake up around 10:30 – unless there’s a stupid early London game – and after I hit the snooze button a few times, I get up and plop down…

Jerks of the Week: Sept. 25, 2017 Jerks of the Week: On the Road to Margate I lied to all of you recently. I wrote two weeks ago that my trip with my fiancee to Ocean City, Maryland would be my final vacation before football. I thought that to be true at the time, but…