Humor

Jerks of the Week for June 11, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK: The Four Fat Ladies My friend Harris likes reading Jerks of the Week, save for one aspect of it. “Why do you always gotta make fun of fat women?” he once asked. “Sometimes it’s genetic or something, and they can’t help it.” This…

Jerks of the Week for June 4, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK: Jerks of Saladworks After my horrifying experience at the grand opening at the Saladworks around the corner from my house last November, you’d think that I would avoid eating there at all cost. But alas, I am a fat man living by myself,…

Jerks of the Week for May 28, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK: Jerks of Six Graduation Parties I had six graduation parties this past weekend, five of which were on one single night. Considering how much I drank, I have no idea how I made it out alive. Fortunately, those five graduation parties were all…

Jerks of the Week for April 12, 2010 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Music My friend Josh has some interesting things to say. I’ve been trying to get him to write Jerks of the Week-type articles for this site as a new weekly feature, but he’s a lazy son of a b**** and hasn’t…

Jerks of the Week for May 21, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK: Jerks of St. Stalin’s Day I’m sure you’re all aware, but St. Stalin’s Day was on Saturday. If, however, you’ve been living under a rock, St. Stalin’s Day is the Russian version of St. Patrick’s Day. My friends and I drunkenly decided this…

Jerks of the Week for May 14, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK: The Adventures of My Beard My friend Jess’ 22nd birthday was a week ago. She didn’t know where to have her party, so I happily offered my house back in March. Three reasons for this: 1. I like having parties and gatherings at…

Jerks of the Week for May 7, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK: Internet Idiots There have always been many stupid people in the world, but we just haven’t been aware of them. With the Internet allowing everyone to voice their opinion, we’re constantly being introduced to these idiots. And it’s wonderful. It’s wonderful for me,…

Jerks of the Week for April 30, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK: Jerks of Wawa I don’t mean to brag, but I’m pretty famous at Wawa. I don’t know how to cook – I recently just opened my oven for the first time and was surprised by how heavy the door was – so I…

Jerks of the Week for April 23, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK NO. 1: Old Hag Waitress My friend Harris invited me to a birthday dinner in late March. He told me it was at some Italian restaurant on Castor Avenue. I’ve heard of Castor Avenue, but I didn’t know exactly where it was, so…

Jerks of the Week for April 16, 2012 JERK OF THE WEEK: Gay Guy Who Wanted to Have Sex with Me I posted the following on Facebook late Saturday night: Some of my Facebook friends commented, “not that there’s anything wrong with that.” Others asked if it was Matt Millen, who wanted to stick some…